Feel Like Some Parents Are Toooo Reliant On Daycare...

[Leigh]

Many parents earn just enough to pay someone to watch their kids. Who sold them on this idea? They would be better off working small trade (or odd hours/split shifts) from home or saving for a few years before having kids. So few do the math or planning anymore. Mob think or easy out?

I had a mom of 3 who told me that her paycheck JUST covered what she paid me. I asked her why she didn't just stay home with them, and told her that she would come out ahead by saving money on eating out and on dress clothes for work, etc. She said "I COULDN'T handle being home with them all the time-I'd go crazy!" She'd rather work for someone else at a job that she was underpaid for (and basically UNPAID for, since it was a wash after paying me) than watch her kids grow up. It broke my heart.

[Ariana]

How much of this is about feminism too? The idea that you are a loser if all you are is a SAHM. I definitely feel this pressure to be making money AND raising my kids. Its freaking hard as heck!! My poor wasted potential and all that jazz the feminists sold me on! I respect the rights of moms who want to work but a lot are working that don't want to be or feel insignificant as a SAHM.

[Cat Herder]

How much of this is about feminism too? The idea that you are a loser if all you are is a SAHM. I definitely feel this pressure to be making money AND raising my kids. Its freaking hard as heck!! My poor wasted potential and all that jazz the feminists sold me on! I respect the rights of moms who want to work but a lot are working that don't want to be or feel insignificant as a SAHM.

Yeah, that pizzes me off, too. We can have it all. We don't have to do it at the same time, though. Men should not be made to feel obligated to support us, either. They want kids for the same reasons we do. Both should plan to financially support and nurture as primary caregiver.

What is wrong with planning ahead, saving up a bit and having each parent stay home a year or two during those first years? Each parent chooses their favorite age to nurture. Parenting. Together. On Purpose.

[Indoorvoice]

I don't mind so much the need to use me when off work, but the blatant disregard of the fact that I run this out of my home with my own children is what I dislike. That's great you had a day off and decided to bring your kid when you knew she was the only one in my care, but then maybe plan to drop off late or pick up a little early? I can't believe the thought never crosses their mind that since they got a day off, maybe we would like an unexpected day off too. Everything is "get my money's worth".

[Ariana]

I don't mind so much the need to use me when off work, but the blatant disregard of the fact that I run this out of my home with my own children is what I dislike. That's great you had a day off and decided to bring your kid when you knew she was the only one in my care, but then maybe plan to drop off late or pick up a little early? I can't believe the thought never crosses their mind that since they got a day off, maybe we would like an unexpected day off too. Everything is "get my money's worth".

Yep! Teachers are the worst. They get paid for the holidays but don't want to pay you and if they do pay you they bring their kids even if they are off. A parent asked me if .i was taking March break off and said that if I wasn't and she had to pay she would send her kid. So I took it off to spend time with my kids and lost a week of income. Some people say "well if they have to pay they may as well use it" but I don't see it that way at all. They value money over time with their kids.

[midaycare]

I'm most irked about the people who are home all day, and they show up 5 minutes after closing. Are you kidding me?!?!

[Leigh]

Yep, most parents have their kids with me all my open hours regardless of what they are doing. It used to gripe me so much and I would feel so bad for the LO, but I think I just got used to it and accept that it is their choice and that I'm not going to charge less if they keep them home, so be it.

They will be with me 90% of their waking hours during the week, and then often go home to a teen babysitter so DCM and DCD can go out for dinner, or even to a family member for an overnight or two on the weekend. It's a complete contrast to how I feel about wanting to be with my own children, ever since they were tiny babes to now as teenagers!

For some of the parents, they honestly seem to think they cannot manage their children in public. They don't take them many places, and definitely not without the aid of the other parent or a grandparent. Which is fine if the way they discipline (or DON'T discipline) in my presence is the same everywhere, then they shouldn't inflict their offspring on the general public!::

My sister has stayed at home since 1989 when she got married. Her son was born in 2003. She wouldn't go ANYWHERE without my mom because she needed my mom to be there to help with her son-even when he was 8 years old! She couldn't go to the grocery store alone with him-nothing.

[renodeb]

My sister is a SAHM and she is so busy with everything. Both kids in sports, bills to pay, etc. I had one family years ago that came to me ft and then most nights went home to a sitter. So sad but it happens.

[Alwaysgreener]

I have a dcd that texted and asked if he could come early to get his child. When he arrived he thanked me for letting him come early, he explained that he got done early and did not want to go home, just to come back to get him. I commented back, that any time he wants his child he can come get him. So now randomly, I get a text from dcd that says I will be there at xx time to get him. DCD has p/u at noon before just to take his child to the zoo.

I interviewed with this one family and DCM got upset when I explain contracted hours and a cap of 10 hours per day. She expressed that she wanted a dc that was open 12 hours a day and was very upset that I was not willing to do that. She honestly did not care anything about my dc, just that I did not provide unlimited care for her.

[Mummy101]

I understand if a DCP pays for the spot, they may feel obligated to use it. But what do you feel about those that do not actually pay for anything, and use vouchers? I am inclined to feel resentment toward this situation. (I’m working on that)

I have a DCP who drops off weekly without fail on days off. This same DCP picks up two hours after they get out of work every single day. I have tried so hard to explain that it is in the child’s best interest to spend as much time as possible with parent, yet to no avail. I even added to my handbook. My heart breaks for this child. DCP even blatantly tells me they are shopping, hiking, doing errands and taking naps etc. I have since given up on changing this though.

[Mad_Pistachio]

I think this subject is raised 3-4 times a year here.
tired yet?..

[hwichlaz]

I understand if a DCP pays for the spot, they may feel obligated to use it. But what do you feel about those that do not actually pay for anything, and use vouchers? I am inclined to feel resentment toward this situation. (I’m working on that)

I have a DCP who drops off weekly without fail on days off. This same DCP picks up two hours after they get out of work every single day. I have tried so hard to explain that it is in the child’s best interest to spend as much time as possible with parent, yet to no avail. I even added to my handbook. My heart breaks for this child. DCP even blatantly tells me they are shopping, hiking, doing errands and taking naps etc. I have since given up on changing this though.

Our voucher program only allows reasonable travel time to and from work...that would be fraud here. Can you switch to contracted times and charge them a late pick up fee out of pocket for abusing it?

[Ariana]

I think this subject is raised 3-4 times a year here.
tired yet?..

Yep because its a topic that people need to get off their chests 3-4 times a year

[Mummy101]

I wish I could! But I work with an agency for some of my spots and they apparently see no issue with this. They basically make the policy for "their" children. I felt like it is a loophole at best.

Sorry if my post is redundant and makes some of you tired, I am new here.

[Mad_Pistachio]

Sorry if my post is redundant and makes some of you tired, I am new here.

Me? I'm fine and well-rested, thank you. My DC doesn't give a hoot what I do while my daughter is there, as long as I break no policies. And in the last 2 years my opinion hasn't changed.