Feel Like Some Parents Are Toooo Reliant On Daycare...

[TSDaycare]

Just like kids these days growing up in the electronics era rather than spending time outside, I feel like the parents are going in the same direction with needing a sitter for their kids ALL the time!

What I mean by this, I have a few sets of parents who cannot or refuse to do anything other than stay at home with their children on the weekends. They won't go shopping, won't take them out to eat, won't go anywhere unless their children are at daycare. Like it's completely impossible. And they have to do it during the week, and their kids has to come EVERY SINGLE DAY I'm open, even if they have to get up and get dressed to bring them here, just to go back home after drop off to clean, or tend to animals, or cut grass, or wash cars; but the kids gotta come to daycare first! Or even bring them out in the pouring, flooding rain just so you can go back home amd enjoy a "me" day being lazy.

I may only have 2 children, but they do everything with me. I don't have the luxury to drop them off at daycare and go dress shopping or sit by the pool and tan.

Sometimes I want to tell these parents in a round about way it, their children may really enjoy a special day with them!

[Josiegirl]

Yep, I've had those parents too. I think their mindset is 'I pay for it so I'm going to use it', which I guess I can understand. Even my dental hygienist asked about dc the last time I went. I told her I charge for enrollment, she'd pay for a ft slot. So she said even though she only works 3 days a week she might as well bring them all week then right? I'm smh and only said, 'well, some parents feel that way'.

But yes, so many parents bring their child to dc so they can go back home and clean house or whatever. Geesh, how'd I ever do it??

[midaycare]

It's an issue and a well discussed one! Just search this forum or be on any fb group for 5 minutes.

I go back and forth with this. Sometimes I could care less. I mean, they pay for the slot and I have to work all day anyway...what do I care if their kid comes?

I also like all my families in different ways and think they are all good people. Most parent different from me, and I expect that. In home daycare, most of us are so hands on that we chose to work from home to spend more time with our kids. So paying for someone else to raise them is...kind of unimaginable! The sacrifices we make in our home and career for our family are enormous. *That's not to say we can't have a successful business. I do, and I'm proud of it. But I lost 1/3 of my home to daycare space and figuring out how to do it was a challenge at first*.

I have come to believe this is not a new thing, but I keeping up with the Jones's thing. Wealthy people have always had nannies and sent their children off to boarding schools at young ages. Wealthy women have lots of "excess" time. Middle class men and women (mostly women) want this too. To "keep up". Free time is the new luxury.

Well...the laugh is on them! The middle class women doing this in my daycare are nowhere near wealthy and all have money issues. How do I know? They have a payment issue once or twice a year. Emergency items (car repairs, home repairs) can really mess them up. But I'm using the money they pay me to pay off my home 20 years early happyface 6 more years to go!!!

I'm sure some of you have wealthier families who do this...but I really think the whole "me time" thing is just people trying to keep up with others who actually can afford it, thereby putting them in debt.

[Ariana]

My parents spent zero time with me and this was before the era of electronics really. We had some tv in the mornings while my mom cleaned and the rest of the day was spent outside completely unsupervised. Either way we were not spending time with our parents.

I think it takes a certain type of person to give up their career to stay home with their own kids and take care of other peoples kids. We just have a different mentality. I think if I had a daycare provider that I trusted and my kids had lots of friends at daycare I wouldn't feel guilty about sending them because they are having fun. Having said that I sometimes keep my kid out of school just to spend the day with her so I guess I am not really similar to 'those' parents!

[Cat Herder]

I find it interesting how quickly Childcare went from a luxury to "Quality" Childcare being a basic human "right".

Again, I defer to the book: https://www.amazon.com/Mothers-Job-H.../dp/0195111125

and : https://www.amazon.com/Promise-Presc...Elizabeth+Rose

lovethislovethislovethis

[Cat Herder]

Many parents earn just enough to pay someone to watch their kids. Who sold them on this idea? They would be better off working small trade (or odd hours/split shifts) from home or saving for a few years before having kids. So few do the math or planning anymore. Mob think or easy out?

[TSDaycare]

It's an issue and a well discussed one! Just search this forum or be on any fb group for 5 minutes.

I go back and forth with this. Sometimes I could care less. I mean, they pay for the slot and I have to work all day anyway...what do I care if their kid comes?

I also like all my families in different ways and think they are all good people. Most parent different from me, and I expect that. In home daycare, most of us are so hands on that we chose to work from home to spend more time with our kids. So paying for someone else to raise them is...kind of unimaginable! The sacrifices we make in our home and career for our family are enormous. *That's not to say we can't have a successful business. I do, and I'm proud of it. But I lost 1/3 of my home to daycare space and figuring out how to do it was a challenge at first*.

I have come to believe this is not a new thing, but I keeping up with the Jones's thing. Wealthy people have always had nannies and sent their children off to boarding schools at young ages. Wealthy women have lots of "excess" time. Middle class men and women (mostly women) want this too. To "keep up". Free time is the new luxury.

Well...the laugh is on them! The middle class women doing this in my daycare are nowhere near wealthy and all have money issues. How do I know? They have a payment issue once or twice a year. Emergency items (car repairs, home repairs) can really mess them up. But I'm using the money they pay me to pay off my home 20 years early happyface 6 more years to go!!!

I'm sure some of you have wealthier families who do this...but I really think the whole "me time" thing is just people trying to keep up with others who actually can afford it, thereby putting them in debt.

These are also the ones looking for cheaper rates in my experience.....wanting discounts for less hours, pulling out so they don't have to pay full tuition for summer bc kids are doing this and that and won't be in care everyday, so why have to pay for it!

[Snowmom]

Many parents earn just enough to pay someone to watch their kids. Who sold them on this idea? They would be better off working small trade (or odd hours/split shifts) from home or saving for a few years before having kids. So few do the math or planning anymore. Mob think or easy out?

So true. Easy out!

I had a family like this and the mom just very happily announced that she was becoming a stay at home mom. Only, now her oldest is in 3rd grade and the youngest is going into Kinder. No more kids planned.

I'm just sitting here scratching my head.

[midaycare]

So true. Easy out!

I had a family like this and the mom just very happily announced that she was becoming a stay at home mom. Only, now her oldest is in 3rd grade and the youngest is going into Kinder. No more kids planned.

I'm just sitting here scratching my head.

Being an actual SAHM is hard work. There is budget planning (couponing, thrift store buying for needs to make up for the loss of income), daily cleaning, volunteering in the schools, making homemade meals, etc. You can work hard with kids in school, but something tells me this is not the case here

[hwichlaz]

So true. Easy out!

I had a family like this and the mom just very happily announced that she was becoming a stay at home mom. Only, now her oldest is in 3rd grade and the youngest is going into Kinder. No more kids planned.

I'm just sitting here scratching my head.

I know someone like this, but youngest is in 6th grade. She deserves it. She worked MORE than full time with three kids to help her husband's dental school loans get paid off earlier so that they could afford for her to stay home. She now teaches yoga part-time as a way to keep busy while the kids are in school. It's more of an early retirement for her...she's nearly 50. But I think putting her husband through dental school.....damn, she earned it.

[daycare]

get this one. my daughter is a nanny and the mom is home....

there are two kids that my daughter watches and the mom is home the whole time. while my daughter is there, the mom cleans and tends to the house. They will even go to the park and the mom goes too. she pays my daughter some pretty good money.

Even my daughter who is only 19 was shocked by this. She doesnt understand why she needs her there.

[Cat Herder]

get this one. my daughter is a nanny and the mom is home....

there are two kids that my daughter watches and the mom is home the whole time. while my daughter is there, the mom cleans and tends to the house. They will even go to the park and the mom goes too. she pays my daughter some pretty good money.

Even my daughter who is only 19 was shocked by this. She doesnt understand why she needs her there.

Lonely introvert. wants companionship, but on her terms. I'd love the option some days...::::

[daycare]

Lonely introvert. wants companionship, but on her terms. I'd love the option some days...::::

thats what I said to my daughter. It has to be something....

[KIDZRMYBIZ]

Just like kids these days growing up in the electronics era rather than spending time outside, I feel like the parents are going in the same direction with needing a sitter for their kids ALL the time!

What I mean by this, I have a few sets of parents who cannot or refuse to do anything other than stay at home with their children on the weekends. They won't go shopping, won't take them out to eat, won't go anywhere unless their children are at daycare. Like it's completely impossible. And they have to do it during the week, and their kids has to come EVERY SINGLE DAY I'm open, even if they have to get up and get dressed to bring them here, just to go back home after drop off to clean, or tend to animals, or cut grass, or wash cars; but the kids gotta come to daycare first! Or even bring them out in the pouring, flooding rain just so you can go back home amd enjoy a "me" day being lazy.

I may only have 2 children, but they do everything with me. I don't have the luxury to drop them off at daycare and go dress shopping or sit by the pool and tan.

Sometimes I want to tell these parents in a round about way it, their children may really enjoy a special day with them!

Yep, most parents have their kids with me all my open hours regardless of what they are doing. It used to gripe me so much and I would feel so bad for the LO, but I think I just got used to it and accept that it is their choice and that I'm not going to charge less if they keep them home, so be it.

They will be with me 90% of their waking hours during the week, and then often go home to a teen babysitter so DCM and DCD can go out for dinner, or even to a family member for an overnight or two on the weekend. It's a complete contrast to how I feel about wanting to be with my own children, ever since they were tiny babes to now as teenagers!

For some of the parents, they honestly seem to think they cannot manage their children in public. They don't take them many places, and definitely not without the aid of the other parent or a grandparent. Which is fine if the way they discipline (or DON'T discipline) in my presence is the same everywhere, then they shouldn't inflict their offspring on the general public!::

[mommyneedsadayoff]

My nanny families, the woman was a significant earner in the family, but all but one worked from home, so they were around and involved quite frequently, but also would go get nails/hair done, grocery shop (sometimes I did this for them, but most did it themselves), run errands, ect, while I was there with the kids or we would all go. Anyway, they spent the most money, but were involved the most. Not necessarily because the money allowed them to be, but also because they just really wanted to be.

My daycare families have been a mix of income levels, but for the most part, one spouse is working for income, the other is working for benefits. They also work a little because of the keeping up with the jones thing, but benefits like health insurance seem to also play a big factor. They paid the least amount, but needed me the most and I would say about half of them would have used me longer hours if I did not limit them. I could tell with a few that the struggle between making it financially and trying to be a parent (with little NO experience with children) was tough and they tended to take full advantage of any babysitting source so they could get a break from both at the same time.

It never made sense for me to work outside the home and I just didn't want to. I told my husband that being home was a priority to me and he was completely on board, so we had to do without and while our friends were having huge weddings and buying big houses, we were renting a one bedroom and driving our 10 year old honda because it was paid off. I think it is interesting how much you can actually save by staying home. We only had one car, one insurance pymt, mostly home cooked meals, less laundry and less having to buy new clothes, ect. Sometimes I thought of going back to outside work, but I like daycare and I like being home with my kids, so it works well for us.