Nannyde - No Motion Babies?

[marniewon]

I've heard (read) you say that you don't do motion-soothing with babies, so I thought you might have a few ideas for me. I have a new 3mo dcb, comes only 3 afternoons a week. He CANNOT sleep unless I rock him. Even if I could do that, I don't want to - I have other kids here that need my attention. The few times he has fallen asleep (to the bottle, or just from me rocking to calm him) he will start screaming (even before his eyes are open) as soon as I put him in the pnp. I've tried letting him CIO, but he doesn't tire, just screams like he's in pain. I always check to make sure he has a full belly, burps, clean/dry diaper, etc. The thing is, dcp's hold him a lot. Also, he ONLY sleeps in his swing at home (even at night!!!). Even if I had a swing, I couldn't nap him there, it's against my regs. Do you have any tips for me? Or does he need one-on-one care? We're still in our trial period, and I have no problem telling mom that I can't meet his needs, but thought I should try to see if this is "fixable" before giving up.

The other part of this is, his hours are 1-5, so it extends over nap time. My house is not big enough to allow the other littles to actually sleep if dcb is screaming. I have only one other child here now, and he can sleep through anything, but I have 2 more starting in a few weeks, so I'm pretty much wanting to fix this before the new ones start.

[nannyde]

Yeah I don't think this is doable.

Sorry but I can't even think of a way to get him and gravity to make friends with that short daily schedule that is only three days a week.

I would tell the parents about positional asphyxia because they are really endangering him allowing him to sleep while they are sleeping in that equipment. They could loose him over this. It's not worth it. He's at a prime age to die from it.

[MommyMuffin]

I am having a similar problem. I have dcb who is now 4m and is only here in the afternoons. He had trouble sleeping. Also it was the other kids nap times too and I ran out of a room to put him in, and I was not about to rock him to sleep. So I put him in the pnp when it was time to nap, it is in the living room so he can see me. That helped a little but I still dont know if I will keep him for a long time if I cannot get him to nap when the others do when he is a little bit older. I am going to give him 4 more months I think.

Its frustrating because I need a break and nap time is the only time for that as we all know.

[marniewon]

Yeah I don't think this is doable.

Sorry but I can't even think of a way to get him and gravity to make friends with that short daily schedule that is only three days a week.

I would tell the parents about positional asphyxia because they are really endangering him allowing him to sleep while they are sleeping in that equipment. They could loose him over this. It's not worth it. He's at a prime age to die from it.

Thanks Nan, that's pretty much what I was thinking too, but thought I would ask anyway.

Mom and I talked yesterday, and I told her I couldn't sleep him in the swing for safety reasons, but she didn't even ask what those were. I think I will find something that I can print out for her and give it to her at pick up. There's probably something in my licensing handbook that I can copy for her.

Mommymuffin - my dcb is also in pnp in my living room so he can see me, and so he doesn't disturb the others too much. i don't think he really cares if he can see me or not, he wants me to be holding him. He is rarely content anywhere except when I'm holding him. Any activity I can engage him in lasts 5-10 min before he starts wailing.

Now I just need to figure out if I should tell mom today that I can't meet his needs, or talk to her about the dangers of sleeping in the swing and see if they work with him to sleep in his crib.

[countrymom]

maybe its just me, but at such a young age, I would do anything to help him sleep. My dd was breastfed (forever--acually till 3yrs) I would put all the kids down for a sleep first, wait maybe 15 min and then nurse her till she fell asleep. It worked fine. My dd was a child who was a needy child and there was nothing you could do but carry her (thank goodness for slings)

[marniewon]

maybe its just me, but at such a young age, I would do anything to help him sleep. My dd was breastfed (forever--acually till 3yrs) I would put all the kids down for a sleep first, wait maybe 15 min and then nurse her till she fell asleep. It worked fine. My dd was a child who was a needy child and there was nothing you could do but carry her (thank goodness for slings)

Getting him to sleep is not the problem - yesterday I "got" him to sleep 4 times in that short 4 hours he was here. However, every time I went to lay him down he started screaming! 4 times in 4 hours of getting him to sleep just to have him wake up cranky and tired and wouldn't go back to sleep unless/until I picked him back up and rocked him. Over and over again. Even if he was my only dck, no way would I want to enforce that habit of not sleeping unless he was in my arms! I will not rock him all through nap. That doesn't help me any, and it sure isn't helping him to learn to self-soothe!

[nannyde]

maybe its just me, but at such a young age, I would do anything to help him sleep.

Yes I think the child's parents think this too. When you do this you end up with a child that can't cope without having CONSTANT adult generated input. The adults are outsourcing it by using battery operated motion and are putting him in danger to make sure he doesn't cry.

Healthy human babies don't need help sleeping. They are designed to sleep a good portion of the 24 hour day as newborns. When you get in the business of "helping" babies sleep they can't sleep without help.

[marniewon]

Update

Surprisingly, dcb actually slept for 15 minutes in pnp today, and has been in there, playing/laying there quietly for the last 45 minutes. No swing, no bouncy seat, no rocking him. He's been very calm for the most part today! I still don't think I have enough time to ween him from the swing to sleep, but today has been much better than it has been so far!!

[Crystal]

He needs to learn to self-soothe. If you let him cry for awhile, he will eventually find his fingers to suck on to help him self-soothe. You may even try putting his fingers in his mouth for him a couple of times to see if he'll go for it.

How is he when he's awake? If he's generally happy when awake, you can probably work through this. I would try to get Mom on the same page with you....talk to her about the need to put him to bed AWAKE, and allow him to cry if he needs to. Generally, if you put a tired child down AWAKE, with a mobile or mirror, they will "talk" to themselves and given a little time, fall asleep on their own. Once they KNOW HOW to fall asleep on their own, they will. When you rock them or feed them UNTIL they go to sleep, you are disturbing the sleep cycle when you put them down and it starts all over again.

Tell Mom, lay him down AWAKE, tell him night-night and you love him, walk away, let him cry for 10 minutes (if he does) walk in if he doesn't stop, rub his back BRIEFLY, gently reassure that "it's time for night-nights, shhhh, it's okay, go night-night" walk away, repeat. DO NOT PICK HIM UP. He has to KNOW that you are not going to give in. This should only take a few days before he realizes that the screaming will not get him picked up and will give him time to learn to self-soothe.

good luck.

[dEHmom]

I'm not sure if this is allowed or not, we never have kids that young in Canada or very very rarely, because we get 1 yr mat leave. But I had to do this with my little guy. He was the same, get him to sleep and then the second you put him in bed, screamed. Had to be held all the time. So I'd stand there at the crib, with my hand holding his head up just enough, and then I'd feed him, as he dozed off and finished bottle, I'd sneak away.

Not saying this is how you should do it, but it may get him used to not being rocked to sleep in a short period of time, and then you could maybe manage.

The other thing that worked well, was bum patting....laying on the side, gently pat his bum till he falls asleep.
I know how hard it is to devote so much time to one kid when you have others, but these were the ways I managed to get my guy to sleep, when I had 2 others of my own who needed just as much attention.

[marniewon]

Yeah I don't think this is doable.

Sorry but I can't even think of a way to get him and gravity to make friends with that short daily schedule that is only three days a week.

I would tell the parents about positional asphyxia because they are really endangering him allowing him to sleep while they are sleeping in that equipment. They could loose him over this. It's not worth it. He's at a prime age to die from it.

Does anyone have any info on this? I'm looking for a one page printout to give to mom and am not finding anything!!

[nannyde]

http://www.idph.state.ia.us/hcci/common/pdf/sleep_positioning.pdf

[countrymom]

I'm not sure if this is allowed or not, we never have kids that young in Canada or very very rarely, because we get 1 yr mat leave. But I had to do this with my little guy. He was the same, get him to sleep and then the second you put him in bed, screamed. Had to be held all the time. So I'd stand there at the crib, with my hand holding his head up just enough, and then I'd feed him, as he dozed off and finished bottle, I'd sneak away.

Not saying this is how you should do it, but it may get him used to not being rocked to sleep in a short period of time, and then you could maybe manage.

The other thing that worked well, was bum patting....laying on the side, gently pat his bum till he falls asleep.
I know how hard it is to devote so much time to one kid when you have others, but these were the ways I managed to get my guy to sleep, when I had 2 others of my own who needed just as much attention.

thats why I'm so glad we don't kids so young, thats so crazy. I forgot about standing over the crib. I use to do this too and worked really good and so did the bum patting (I have no idea why but it works too)
I want to add, that I feel so bad for this young child, I just can't fathom that people have to leave their babies in daycare so early, they are defensless and just want attention, hugging and cuddling.

[marniewon]

http://www.idph.state.ia.us/hcci/com...ositioning.pdf

Thanks Nan - exactly what I was looking for!

[marniewon]

thats why I'm so glad we don't kids so young, thats so crazy. I forgot about standing over the crib. I use to do this too and worked really good and so did the bum patting (I have no idea why but it works too)
I want to add, that I feel so bad for this young child, I just can't fathom that people have to leave their babies in daycare so early, they are defensless and just want attention, hugging and cuddling.

Here in the states, most maternity leave is 6-8 weeks! And, depending on the job that mom does, may not get any "actual" maternity leave at all!