Visitors at Daycare

[Snowmom]

I'm in California and have an open door policy as well. That said, I would flatly decline her. I think I would say something along the lines of, "a full day visit gives your mom (a non client) knowledge of private client information. Throughout the day, I discuss things like child behavior, payment issues, and personal things that may be going on with other families. For this reason, I only allow short visits" I have a privacy clause in my handbook that covers this.

I would then inform her of the acceptable choices: early pick up, a short visit, or keeping the child home. And then sweetly say, "let me know what you decide."

To me, this is perfect.
I wouldn't even allow short visits though.... You can pick up or drop off, and please do it very quickly so that the children and I have very little disruption to our activities and routine.

[Blackcat31]

I use this for potential clients who want to observe:

"While I understand that you would want to "see me in action" before leaving your child for the first time, I cannot allow it for several reasons.

First is the privacy of the other children and their family's. I do diaper changes, deal with medical issues/conditions, and discuss their home life with them on a daily basis. I have a strict privacy policy and having another adult around violates the trust between my clients and myself.

Second, you are a stranger to the children and their parents. Please consider how you would feel if your child were in care and I allowed a strange adult to the daycare to observe your child.

Third, I consider the trust my clients place in me the cornerstone of our relationship. In a childcare relationship I am asking that a client trust me completely with their child. I ask for honesty and open communication. Asking me to prove myself above and beyond my criminal background check, photo identification, insurance information, and references is not something I am willing to do.

I do understand if you need to find other arrangements. Just know that I value the children's safety and security above all else and allowing adults in to observe them is not part of the safe and secure environment I promise them each and every day."

[Blackcat31]

Also if grandma is available to observe daycare all day why doesn't she just watch the baby herself?

[sharlan]

Also if grandma is available to observe daycare all day why doesn't she just watch the baby herself?

Because dcm is looking for someone to entertain Grandma for the day.

[Meeko]

Because dcm is looking for someone to entertain Grandma for the day.

[heyhun77]

I have done this with dc families but not for full days. Most of my clients don't have family local and the kids don't see their extended family very often so for them to be alone with the kiddos is intimidating for them. I would rather they come visit us rather than having them struggle and then getting a crabby kiddo the next day.

[Unregistered]

I bet the dcm doesn't really trust grandma to take care of baby all day so dcm said oh you can visit with her at her child care. So now, when you say no, mom will be forced to come up with another way to keep grandma from watching baby all day. Cause seriously, I don think I'd trust my mom with my infant all day while I am at work. And grandma is long distance and doesn't know the baby at all and baby doesn't know grandma.

[organicdclady]

I use this for potential clients who want to observe:

"While I understand that you would want to "see me in action" before leaving your child for the first time, I cannot allow it for several reasons.

First is the privacy of the other children and their family's. I do diaper changes, deal with medical issues/conditions, and discuss their home life with them on a daily basis. I have a strict privacy policy and having another adult around violates the trust between my clients and myself.

Second, you are a stranger to the children and their parents. Please consider how you would feel if your child were in care and I allowed a strange adult to the daycare to observe your child.

Third, I consider the trust my clients place in me the cornerstone of our relationship. In a childcare relationship I am asking that a client trust me completely with their child. I ask for honesty and open communication. Asking me to prove myself above and beyond my criminal background check, photo identification, insurance information, and references is not something I am willing to do.

I do understand if you need to find other arrangements. Just know that I value the children's safety and security above all else and allowing adults in to observe them is not part of the safe and secure environment I promise them each and every day."

Thank you BC! This is perfect and exactly what I was looking for. I will be adding this to the handbook and referencing back to it if I ever get this type of inquiry again.

To answer PP in short, dcm started with "grandma will be visiting from out of town for a week next month, she will keep baby at home but would like to come with her to dc for one day that week."
I think it has a lot to do with either mom or grandma wanting to "babysit" ME all day. I kindly declined with the help all of you. She didn't respond. Oh well!
Thank you again!

[Play Care]

I don't feel "open door policy" means unlimited daycare access. I feel it means they can pick up their kids at any time. Not. "Hey, come hang out."

This. I can't make rules saying they can't pick up kids at certain times (i.e. Nap time) but I don't have to entertain their realitives all day.

I believe my contract even states that "open door means you can pick up your child and sign them out for the day at any time" or something along those lines.

[Thriftylady]

I bet the dcm doesn't really trust grandma to take care of baby all day so dcm said oh you can visit with her at her child care. So now, when you say no, mom will be forced to come up with another way to keep grandma from watching baby all day. Cause seriously, I don think I'd trust my mom with my infant all day while I am at work. And grandma is long distance and doesn't know the baby at all and baby doesn't know grandma.

I don't understand this thought. I always trusted my mom with my kids. After all she did an okay job with the four of us. Sure she made some mistakes but as parents we all do.

[Play Care]

I bet the dcm doesn't really trust grandma to take care of baby all day so dcm said oh you can visit with her at her child care. So now, when you say no, mom will be forced to come up with another way to keep grandma from watching baby all day. Cause seriously, I don think I'd trust my mom with my infant all day while I am at work. And grandma is long distance and doesn't know the baby at all and baby doesn't know grandma.

Agree completely! I know if my mom had internet access when we were kids we would not have survived. I had her "watch" my oldest when she was a toddler for a moment when I had to use the bathroom whilst visiting their house. I got back and my kid is playing with a power saw while my mom was online... I was gone for less than 5 minutes! Really.

That said, it's not the providers job to facilitate a relationship between grandma and baby. That's mom's job. I would tell mom that grandma was welcome to pick up baby and take her but that due to liability I couldn't have another adult visiting all day. Because as I said earlier, IMO "open door" means come and picking up your kid whenever, not hanging out at day care.

[Ariana]

Agree with Blackcat 100%. Also I always ask my current parents when I am doing visits with potential clients. It is paramount tat parents trust me and the people in my home. I would want that as a parent.

You can also always tell her that you ran it by your current parents and one of them is not comfortable with the idea of having a stranger here all day. Just to drive the nail in the coffin!

[childcaremom]

I don't understand this thought. I always trusted my mom with my kids. After all she did an okay job with the four of us. Sure she made some mistakes but as parents we all do.

I don't get this, either. :confused:

I think that the grandma wants to see what goes on at dc.

[Controlled Chaos]

I don't understand this thought. I always trusted my mom with my kids. After all she did an okay job with the four of us. Sure she made some mistakes but as parents we all do.

Probably not what's going on here. But It took 6 years for me to trust my mom with my kids. Every family is different. My mom is a recovering alcoholic (2 years dry so now allowed around my children but not always allowed alone with them) and my dh's step mom is the kind of lady who will let children play with matches because she doesn't have to say no. Just because you raise some kids to adulthood doesn't mean you get to be alone with their children.

[Blackcat31]

Probably not what's going on here. But It took 6 years for me to trust my mom with my kids. Every family is different. My mom is a recovering alcoholic (2 years dry so now allowed around my children but not always allowed alone with them) and my dh's step mom is the kind of lady who will let children play with matches because she doesn't have to say no. Just because you raise some kids to adulthood doesn't mean you get to be alone with their children.

I agree! I think some adults made it to adulthood by sheer luck.

My parents were foster parents while I was growing up so we had lots of extra kiddos in our home. I was also the oldest of 6 and part of a huge family on both my mom and my dad's side.

I cant say I would have trusted my mother with my kids when they were really young and most certainly not as infants.

I trusted my dad but he still didn't have my kids much when they were really young simply because he believed in lots of "old school" methods that just didn't sit well with me. ie: car seats not really necessary, being in a bar was perfectly fine, sitting on grandpa's lap to steer the car while on the highway nope, just nope.

So I too, also understand that concept.