Vent! Kids taking food from my house when they leave.

[Heidi]

Thank you for all of your responses! Before the parents even get here, I give all of the children a talk about it... And when parents show up, what I said goes out the door. I tell the children "no, I'm sorry you can't have that" in front of the parents. One parent will back me up but another parent will stand there while his kids go through my fridge and pantry saying "well you said you didn't have extra snack but I see goldfish right there" it honestly makes me feel so disrespected that the children do that to me and the parents won't back me out. It's just awful. I don't want to be ugly to anyone but I am going to take the advice that was given by you all!

If they are old enough to articulate all that, I would go with "Stop! We talked about this. Now, go get your coat on".

FIRM does not equal "Mean".

[Rockgirl]

You can talk to dck's till you're blue in the face when parents aren't around. They'll test the boundaries as soon as the parents walk thru the door. It's up to you to keep those boundaries intact. You can do it!

[MrsSteinel'sHouse]

I would also not allow children in my cupboards or frig- ever. My kitchen is gated off.

But, you might offer a new service- for $25 a week you will send home a healthy to go snack for the car. mini bottle of water a baggie of something, goldfish, cut up apple, cucumber slices. You get the idea. If they do not opt in to the new program, you expect the parents to enforce no food from your house. If their child "helps themselves to a snack" it is $25 per time inconvenience fee.

I would work it something like- I am now offering a new program! I will be offering a healthy take home snack each day. It seems that some children are very hungry at pick up and this will give them the opportunity to have a snack in the car on the way home. I will provide a water and a baggie with a snack to go! The price for this service will be $25 a week. If you opt not to participate and your child insists on a to go snack, it will be $25 per incident since I will not be prepared to provide a snack for your child. I am so excited to be able to provide this service for you!

[lovemykidstoo]

That is terrible. I have had a few ask for a snack and I just simply say "we just had snack remember and dinner is very soon I'm sure". that usually curbed it. I did have one 2 yr old that went to my cupboard and open it and mom says "oh my gosh, does he go in your cupboard alot"? I said "no, I dont' allow it" and then I said to dcb "what are you doing? You know you're not supposed to be in there, let's go". He came to me and out he went. But she never said anything to him like get out of the cupboard or anything. She just laughed like oh so cute dcb. Irritating that some parents think that just because we have a daycare that every ounce of our house is for the public.

How old is this child you're talking about?

[ColorfulSunburst]

Children only do what WE allow them to do. Don't wait what parents will/will not allow to do in your home. It is your home and it is only your rules.
One of my rule is "no children in the kitchen". No one of them try to get in there even if the gate is not locked.
Make YOUR rules and follow them non-stop.

[KiddieCahoots]

I would also not allow children in my cupboards or frig- ever. My kitchen is gated off.

But, you might offer a new service- for $25 a week you will send home a healthy to go snack for the car. mini bottle of water a baggie of something, goldfish, cut up apple, cucumber slices. You get the idea. If they do not opt in to the new program, you expect the parents to enforce no food from your house. If their child "helps themselves to a snack" it is $25 per time inconvenience fee.

I would work it something like- I am now offering a new program! I will be offering a healthy take home snack each day. It seems that some children are very hungry at pick up and this will give them the opportunity to have a snack in the car on the way home. I will provide a water and a baggie with a snack to go! The price for this service will be $25 a week. If you opt not to participate and your child insists on a to go snack, it will be $25 per incident since I will not be prepared to provide a snack for your child. I am so excited to be able to provide this service for you!

...love it! Money talks to most parents.

I had a child do this...once upon a time.
Dcm was no help either. I told the child no, took him by the hand and guided him to his mom. Of course he became spaghetti boy, and tried wriggling out of my arms, that's when I took the opportunity to tell them both, when parents are here to pick up, it is time to go! And told dcm if it continued, I would have dcb ready to meet her outside the door. It stopped.

[Leigh]

You have received good advice. For older kids who continue to do this, I would not hesitate to enforce a consequence at drop off the following day.

Joey, you broke the rule about going in my cupboards last night before you left. This morning, your consequence is XXX. From now on, when you break my rules when it is time to go home, you will have XXX consequence when you get here in the morning. It's NOT OK to break the rules here at any time, whether your parents are here or not, and it is not going to happen any more. Remind the child of the consequence daily until it stops. I will give a consequence to a child at pickup time for something serious (hitting, etc.), but for things that are a child being manipulative, they can wait til morning (I don't want them staying longer to sit in time out or whatever, but will do it when I feel it is necessary).

[lovemykidstoo]

You could always let him take what he wanted and when he wanted snack the next day say "oh sorry, you had your snack last night when you were leaving". LOL

[daycaremum]

My kitchen is off limits to children, I can't imagine them ever even trying to go in their and help themselves!!! You are in charge, if you don't want them doing it tell them please get out of my cupboards, we have already had our snack, I'm sure you're parent will give you something when you get home. If they don't stop, physically move them and shut the cupboard and tell them it is time for them to go home. Also issue a consequence if it happens again. This is my home…if they are doing something that bothers me I have no problem telling the child that right in front of their parent. I don't care if they leave upset (either the parent or the child) if I believe I have reacted in an reasonable manner. I just can not believe that the parents of these children don't stop their own children from doing that, that is also a problem. I would likely be sending home a memo to all families about this situation and how parents need to be in control of their children at pick up time…. Sheesh.

[AmyKidsCo]

You could always let him take what he wanted and when he wanted snack the next day say "oh sorry, you had your snack last night when you were leaving". LOL

I did something similar several years ago, the mom filed a complaint and I got written up by my licensor for it.

[My3cents]

Sometimes I feel like I'm that overly nice lady who kids think they can walk all over... Especially when their parents are present because then they feel like "Are you gonna tell me NO with my mom standing here?". It's really frustrating because I have a few kids who, every day, when they leave, despite my warnings.... They will go into my refrigerator or cabinets and take food or ask me if they can take snacks home after I have told them all several times, no you can not because we need those for snack time. I for understand how a parent can stand there and watch their child go in someone else's refrigerator or cabinet and take food especially when they observe me telling the child no?!!!! I'm at my end with this!

your overly nice!

No! Snacks are for snack time. If a parent stands there and says nothing to their own child you look at the parent and ask them to please take the child that you have said no. You can do this nicely------- Mom, Can you please take little Johnny, he has been told no to snacks at this time of the day and that snacks are for snack time and he really should not be into my cupboards for anything with out asking me. Now if she is resistant.......and says oh no its ok.........you look at her and say No Mom it is not ok. Please take Johnny home and you can give him a snack there.

No way would the kids be getting into my cupboards- not only is that dangerous but they don't belong there. Its one thing if you hand out a basket with a choice in it, but to blatently go into your cupboards is rude and a rule here of No way!

Your allowing this to happen and the only way to stop it is to go outside your comfort zone and put your foot down and make the parent accountable.

Best~

[My3cents]

Thank you for all of your responses! Before the parents even get here, I give all of the children a talk about it... And when parents show up, what I said goes out the door. I tell the children "no, I'm sorry you can't have that" in front of the parents. One parent will back me up but another parent will stand there while his kids go through my fridge and pantry saying "well you said you didn't have extra snack but I see goldfish right there" it honestly makes me feel so disrespected that the children do that to me and the parents won't back me up. It's just awful. I don't want to be ugly to anyone but I am going to take the advice that was given by you all!

you look at that child and you say........you don't belong in my cupboard! If you want a snack you will have to get it at home! Now go stand next to your parent until you leave. You say this in front of the parent. IF the child refuses you make Mom or Dad step in and control it. If that doesn't work you hand the child off at the door and don't let the parent come in.........and you tell them why your doing that. I have an issue with disrespect while your here and until it can get under control pick up will be at the door. If you have to talk with me about anything you may call me or text me and I will get back to you when I can.
Good luck- be strong

[My3cents]

You could always let him take what he wanted and when he wanted snack the next day say "oh sorry, you had your snack last night when you were leaving". LOL

I wouldn't do this.....for one thing its not dealing with the problem then and there and over night this problem has become lost

You have received good advice. For older kids who continue to do this, I would not hesitate to enforce a consequence at drop off the following day.

Joey, you broke the rule about going in my cupboards last night before you left. This morning, your consequence is XXX. From now on, when you break my rules when it is time to go home, you will have XXX consequence when you get here in the morning. It's NOT OK to break the rules here at any time, whether your parents are here or not, and it is not going to happen any more. Remind the child of the consequence daily until it stops. I will give a consequence to a child at pickup time for something serious (hitting, etc.), but for things that are a child being manipulative, they can wait til morning (I don't want them staying longer to sit in time out or whatever, but will do it when I feel it is necessary).

Again the issue is lost over night......and I wouldn't want to start the day off in the negative.
I would deal with the child then the parent......then it would be outside at pick up time, or a one on one with parent.

I had a brother that would come once in a while and he liked our snack time when he was here. So he tried asking for snack when he wasn't here but would pick up his brother with his parents. It was uncomfortable but I had to say in front of the parent, No you are going to prob go home and have your supper. Kid kept at it, parent did nothing. I finally looked at the child and said......What did I say??? I said No. Now you need to get going and take your brother home. Then the parents stepped in like a light bulb went off. I think the parents were testing me out to see if I would actually say No. You run the show. You can run it nicely but you should run it with boundaries and rules for both the parents and child.

Many times my kids will ask for water and I always give them water anything else........no you will have to wait till you get home

Hope to hear how you make out with this~

[Cat Herder]

OP, have you ruled out that this is a "hungry kid"? Does this family have enough food at home? ( www.nokidhungry.org for help if so)

I did not think to ask.

[Mister Sir Husband]

You need to take control NOW. It would be over my dead body that kids went in to my cabinets to take food after being told no.
You are not being mean, or rude, or unreasonable telling the kids NO. I don't care WHO is there - their parent, their grandmother, the Pope, etc.
Take charge! Remember people only use door mats to wipe their feet...

Exactly as above ⬆. Contrary to their beliefs, the kids are not in charge, and will only act like they are if you let them.