Vent! Kids taking food from my house when they leave.

[ImFromTheStars]

Sometimes I feel like I'm that overly nice lady who kids think they can walk all over... Especially when their parents are present because then they feel like "Are you gonna tell me NO with my mom standing here?". It's really frustrating because I have a few kids who, every day, when they leave, despite my warnings.... They will go into my refrigerator or cabinets and take food or ask me if they can take snacks home after I have told them all several times, no you can not because we need those for snack time. I for understand how a parent can stand there and watch their child go in someone else's refrigerator or cabinet and take food especially when they observe me telling the child no?!!!! I'm at my end with this!

[JenNJ]

"Tommy, those snacks are to eat at snacktime here. Your house s snacks and dinner is soon."

Send a memo out to ALL families that no snacks will be sent home. The parents can pack a snack for the car ride home if they must.

[Angelsj]

Good heavens! Stand up for yourself. You can be kind and firm at the same time. Yes, you CAN and should tell the child no with their parents standing right there.
"Kiddo, it is rude to go into other people's refrigerator or cabinets without asking. We already had snack and your supper is coming soon. Get your shoes on." All said while ushering the kid out your door.

If you are allowing the kids in your cabinets or refrigerator at other times, put a stop to that as well. They need to ask for what they want, and wait for you to ok it and/or tell them they may have it.

[Play Care]

Sometimes I feel like I'm that overly nice lady who kids think they can walk all over... Especially when their parents are present because then they feel like "Are you gonna tell me NO with my mom standing here?". It's really frustrating because I have a few kids who, every day, when they leave, despite my warnings.... They will go into my refrigerator or cabinets and take food or ask me if they can take snacks home after I have told them all several times, no you can not because we need those for snack time. I for understand how a parent can stand there and watch their child go in someone else's refrigerator or cabinet and take food especially when they observe me telling the child no?!!!! I'm at my end with this!

You need to take control NOW. It would be over my dead body that kids went in to my cabinets to take food after being told no.
You are not being mean, or rude, or unreasonable telling the kids NO. I don't care WHO is there - their parent, their grandmother, the Pope, etc.
Take charge! Remember people only use door mats to wipe their feet...

[AmyKidsCo]

Good heavens! Stand up for yourself. You can be kind and firm at the same time. Yes, you CAN and should tell the child no with their parents standing right there.
"Kiddo, it is rude to go into other people's refrigerator or cabinets without asking. We already had snack and your supper is coming soon. Get your shoes on." All said while ushering the kid out your door.

If you are allowing the kids in your cabinets or refrigerator at other times, put a stop to that as well. They need to ask for what they want, and wait for you to ok it and/or tell them they may have it.

OMG rude!

This calls for a 3-pronged approach.
First, move the snacks to where they can't reach them - up high in the cupboard and in the back of the fridge.

Then tell them "No" and stand between the child and the door with your hand out until they hand it over.

Finally, bill the parents for the cost of buying a whole new item. If the child took a handful of crackers, bill the parents for a whole box. If they took 1 apple, bill the parents for a whole bag.

[midaycare]

Child proof locks are your friend

[Cradle2crayons]

Neither my own kids OR my daycare kids would EVERRRRR OPEN THE FRIDGE OR SNACK CABINET WITHOUT MY EXPRESS PERMISSION.

BETTER YET, my own kids and dycare kids know exactly what time meals and snacks are and know better than to even ASK if it weren't that time anyway.

Either stand up for yourself or just hand them out at the door.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Child proof locks are your friend

Yes. If you struggle with taking back the items stolen from your cupboards then this would be the way to go.

[craftymissbeth]

Hold their hand until the parent has hold of them. Do not let the parent let go of their child. Also, banish the idea that you can't discipline while parents are present. IMO, that's the perfect time to do it.

My dck's know from a very young age (think not even talking yet) that they are NOT allowed in the kitchen unless they have permission. I have a gate installed at the kitchen door, but my current kids know well enough not to even try so I've been able to keep it down.

My advice is to be firm and not be afraid to tell them no. Don't be afraid to tell the parent "this can't happen". Don't be afraid to hand them over and immediately shoo them out.

[Josiegirl]

Hold their hand until the parent has hold of them. Do not let the parent let go of their child. Also, banish the idea that you can't discipline while parents are present. IMO, that's the perfect time to do it.

My dck's know from a very young age (think not even talking yet) that they are NOT allowed in the kitchen unless they have permission. I have a gate installed at the kitchen door, but my current kids know well enough not to even try so I've been able to keep it down.

My advice is to be firm and not be afraid to tell them no. Don't be afraid to tell the parent "this can't happen". Don't be afraid to hand them over and immediately shoo them out.

Parents(and providers too) are sometimes hesitant about disciplining in front of others. I was always a little intimidated about speaking up and correcting a parent's child with the parent right there, but after I did it a few times with a particular dcf, dcm stepped up and did it too. I think some people are just afraid of appearing 'mean' in front of others, even though you're not being mean.
Talk about it with the dcks before dcparents come to pick up, then when they try to take snacks home, give them a look and say 'you know what we talked about. You can no longer do that. Save room for supper.' And yes, definitely hide them away, up high.

[midaycare]

I don't discipline in front of parents - that's their job. But I make it so the parents have to help me. In your situation I would say, in a sweet voice dripping with honey, "Now dck, you know we need those snacks for snack time. Or else I won't have anything for you to eat tomorrow. May I have it back please? It will be here for you tomorrow." Then I stare at the parents.

But also, like I said, child proof locks. I have one who is always hungry. Not for my food though! She threw a fit yesterday at pickup because I wouldn't give her a third serving of a snack. Oh well!

[Cat Herder]

I'm that overly nice lady who kids think they can walk all over...

"Are you gonna tell me NO?".

despite my warnings....

They will go into my refrigerator or cabinets and take food

I'm at my end with this!

Tell then No. Mean it. Enforce it. :hug:

Only you can stop this. Only you can allow this. Sorry to be so blunt, but this is a self created issue. Good news, you can fix it today. lovethis

Walk kids to the door. Have parent stay at door. Outside. Buh Bye outside.

Stick around, we will stiffen that backbone in record time.

[ImFromTheStars]

Thank you for all of your responses! Before the parents even get here, I give all of the children a talk about it... And when parents show up, what I said goes out the door. I tell the children "no, I'm sorry you can't have that" in front of the parents. One parent will back me up but another parent will stand there while his kids go through my fridge and pantry saying "well you said you didn't have extra snack but I see goldfish right there" it honestly makes me feel so disrespected that the children do that to me and the parents won't back me up. It's just awful. I don't want to be ugly to anyone but I am going to take the advice that was given by you all!

[Blackcat31]

Thank you for all of your responses! Before the parents even get here, I give all of the children a talk about it... And when parents show up, what I said goes out the door. I tell the children "no, I'm sorry you can't have that" in front of the parents. One parent will back me up but another parent will stand there while his kids go through my fridge and pantry saying "well you said you didn't have extra snack but I see goldfish right there" it honestly makes me feel so disrespected that the children do that to me and the parents won't back me out. It's just awful. I don't want to be ugly to anyone but I am going to take the advice that was given by you all!

Hun, standing up for yourself is not being ugly to anyone.

These children are being VERY disrespectful to you and the parents are being even MORE disrespectful and rude by allowing their children to take advantage of your kindheart.

Start telling the parents that no food will be brought home for your house anymore. NO Exceptions.

Send a note out to ALL parents. Tell them you expect them to curb their child's requests and stop their children's rude behavior.

These kids aren't going to be able to go into other people's lockers at school and rummage through their lunchboxes so it is NOT an acceptable behavior.

Setting rules and boundaries in YOUR home is your responsibility and something that will get easier every time you have to do it.

[Rockgirl]

I would put my hand on the cupboard door or refrigerator the child is going for and say, "I already told you no." If the parent doesn't back you up, tell them the kids aren't allowed to open your cupboards or fridge. It'll feel awkward the first time. It gets easier!