New and Could Use Some Advise on a Couple of Things

[Heidi]

Wow! These parents are super lucky to have found you!

As far as the issues go...please don't take offense as I mean this in a helpful way...but these parents are doing these things (forgetting items/supplies, the late pick ups etc) because YOU are allowing them to happen.

If the child needs daily cream for his skin, refuse care unless they bring it.

If you close at 5 and they pick up late (even if it's someone else) charge a late fee and do not provide care until they pay the fee.

If they owe you for something, give them a due date and do not provide care until it is paid.

Whether you watch one child or a couple.....this is still your source of income.

You have a right to expect the items this child needs on a daily basis and it should NOT be coming out of YOUR pocket.

BINGO!

This child is their responsibility. The services you provide, even just those you agreed to, are already WAY beyond what most people would do for $125 per week. Don't be afraid to stick up for yourself!

[kitykids3]

I agree with everything said. They are totally taking advantage of you and the more you provide that stuff, the longer they will let you.
No way would I be accepting and watching a child that has to be bathed twice a day by me. If they don't come with all supplies the child needs, especially his life saving medicine, then don't provide care. Tell them they can come back when they have the supplies and have reimbursed you for the ones you already bought.
As for sister picking up late, charge fees each time. Again, refuse care the next morning if they are not paid, in cash. I charge $1 per minute past closing time if they have not called ahead and gotten permission, and even then it's $.50 per minute.
They are walking all over you and for such measly pay. For all that work you should be paid like a nanny and they still should be supplying his things.
Also, giving him the medicine you have that isn't his could lead to liability issues. I wouldn't do it and if they don't bring his medicine (and sign a form giving permission to give it to him), then don't take him that day, or the next etc. until they do.

Oh, and if they say "I'll leave dcb here and go grab it and come back" then nope. They take the kiddo with and come back with him and supplies.

Good luck!

[mythrreemiracles]

Thank you!! All of you!!! And I'm sorry for the typos above but I'm typing from my phone which makes it hard to go back and edit/re read what i have written.
I feel used...and yes, i have thought about their daughter watching him this summer as well...but they have voiced concerns of trust to me about her but still..after the lack of help from them these past couple of months, nothing would surprise me.

I DO document everything. My mom works in H.R. and always tells me that documenting is the key.
Today was the worst day yet...he went #2 all over the house. I'm exhausted..and literally wanted to cry when i read all your replies BECAUSE finally. ..someone...rather all of you agree with what any common sense has been telling me. I LOVE the letter idea and invoice idea as well.

My problem is that i felt so bad for this kiddo and couldn't stand watching him go without. I will definitely start typing those documents tonight. My husband knows about most of this and has been telling me since the beginning that I'm under paid. I do have a degree but not in child care. Yes, i /we need this extra income but he keeps telling me that they need me more than i need them RIGHT NOW. (When the summer comes i agree that i will be replaced possibly by the daughter bc they are obviously trying to save a buck).

As far as getting my pay rate changed, I'm trying to come up with an approach that won't come out how i feel right now... have any of you had to deal with a pay rate change?? I don't want to slam them at one time with these letters along with a pay rate change unless that IS a good idea?
Thank you again.....i appreciate everyone being a straight shooter!

[mythrreemiracles]

Whoa!! And i made a typo about the daughters age...she is 13 not 16. Not sure if it's legal in FL . I need to look that up..and i wish i knew why their Daycare "dropped him" last minute at the end of last year. Literally i was asked too babysit the night before they dropped him off. I wonder if it was due to finances?? I was told that they told the parents there wasn't an opening in the 3 year old class. (He JUST turned 3 in January).

[NeedaVaca]

I'm sure someone here can help you with a great letter! I would address everything at once and be done. Increase your pay (prepay), charge late fees, ALL supplies must be provided prior to care, Dr's note for all medications/medical related care!, I see no reason for you to spend all day bathing this child, they can do the baths at home (morning/night), usually for that condition fewer baths are recommended so I don't quite get that part. Diapers until he is accident free for 2 full weeks. Be firm, don't budge!

I would start advertising right away though...

[MissAnn]

Whoa!! And i made a typo about the daughters age...she is 13 not 16. Not sure if it's legal in FL . I need to look that up..and i wish i knew why their Daycare "dropped him" last minute at the end of last year. Literally i was asked too babysit the night before they dropped him off. I wonder if it was due to finances?? I was told that they told the parents there wasn't an opening in the 3 year old class. (He JUST turned 3 in January).

I would call his previous daycare. My DHS lady suggested I do this with all new kids. I had already enrolled one child who was a handful but his parents were nightmares! I termed them after the dad had me blocked from getting out of my kitchen. He wasn't threatening, but I felt like he would go off if I tried to get by him. He was talking to me in a heated way and I had kids here. I just talked calmly until he left. I then packed up all his belongings, put them on my porch, called the mom, termed immediately and went to Olive Garden. I called the boys last 3 providers and they all had stories like mine. All of that to say......I would call his last provider.

[mythrreemiracles]

I'm typing the Letter today in between diarrhea spells. (He is on this antibiotic for 30 daddy's). Yesterday he went at least. 15 times...on the floor...couch and of course bathroom. It's so bad that it leaks through his diaper. Right on to the floor or where ever he is. I get paid at some point today. Usually they show up around 7 pm...(they live right down three street from me). I'm going to hand him the note when he hands me the cash. I'm going to be firm and as professional as i can be. I'm nervous but know i have my husband's back. Its time for me to grow a back bone. You are ALL right.
I REALLY wish i knew the name of his previous daycare but i don't. Any ideas on how i can ask this in a....slick...not obvious way?
Thanks again for all the help, suggestions and ideas. I will keep you posted!

[Meyou]

Almost all, if not all providers on this forum would send home after 1-2 bouts of diarrhea. You DO NOT have to work in these conditions. That child is SICK and needs to be HOME.

[Maria2013]

Hi everyone!

I'm a full time babysitter for a 3 year old boy. I babysit him full time in my home 5 days ac week. At first everything was going very well. He was potty trained and we started bonding and formatting a great routine. I have two surviving triplets tray are now in big kid school...so by taking this job it has allowed me to be home with my kids after school which is great.
However....in their past two months some big changes have been going on with this little guy. Please know he is considered special needs if he were to go to a Daycare being as he has SEVERE eczema, bad asthmatic attacks, cannot be in the sun light and is allergic to just about everything. His parents of course supply his snacks and lunch..
Getting back to My questions...

This is what has been going on in the past two months...
I already put the creme supplied by his parents on his body art least. 4 times a day. No biggie. They now want me to give him two baths per day which i have been doing but they stopped packing his special soap and daily creme. (I keep asking and they st they will pack it and don't). I ended up buying it myself bc i can't stand to see him in so much pain.
He is no longer potty trained. I have a son and know regardless of age that kids go through stages. We are again going on two months and they stopped providing pull ups and diapers. I him every half hour to go But bc he is on antibiotics all the time he has been having severe diarrhea blow outs all over the house. They are bad and require bathing when this happens. (It happens at least twice a day now) . Im not supposed to wash his clothes and they pack an extra set...(i have asked for multiple sets bc the diarrhea is so bad now) and they again.....just don't pack any.
We spend most of the day bathing and putting on his special creme. His parents are totally aware but I'm not getting help from them so instead of him going without i went ahead and bought a case of pull ups and send home his clothes double wrapped in a bag. I don't know what to do.
I'm frustrated and don't know what to do. I make $250 every TWO weeks and have to remind them to pay me because they forgot one time and unfortunately I'm on a tight budget and need that paycheck.
I told them that i went ahead and bought pull ups and his special creme. I thought they would pay me back but i was wrong.
I know I'm getting lengthy here but what else can i do to get the parents help? If this was just a short phase than i would feel differently but i had no idea when i started in January that most of what i would be doing is cleaning him up. His speech is greatly impaired and i really wanted and was helping him so much. All of that has now changed.
I would appreciate any and all advice. What would you do If you were me?
Oh...they stopped supplying his albuterol treatments awhile ago. I have a machine of my own bc of my own kids needing it as preemies. Im about out of his puffer medicine and am scared they won't provide that asap as well. I told them that I'm out of the one and they again haven't packed another puffer or the albuterol.
And last but least, their daughter picks him up from my house every day. She is 16. When the kids dont have school i remind her to be here by 5 pm. I'm lucky if she is here by 5:45. The parents again....aware... help! Please!

You remind me so much of myself before I got licensed :hug:

...the parents I worked for had absolutely zero respect or appreciation for all the extra I did, when they wouldn't..the more I did, the more became expected of me and I think this is happening to you
...I had a parent that actually cut my pay in half when she added the second child, her reason was that 2 kids play together so are less work, and I was dumb enough to go along with it cause I was attached to the first child I had for some time....and that's the reason why I got licensed and developed my "zero tolerance" plan.."you either appreciate me, and treat me fair, or you can find someone else.

If I were you, I would give her a warning, and if nothing improves I would simply quit

she doesn't deserve you!:hug:

[nannyde]

I'm typing the Letter today in between diarrhea spells. (He is on this antibiotic for 30 daddy's). Yesterday he went at least. 15 times...on the floor...couch and of course bathroom. It's so bad that it leaks through his diaper. Right on to the floor or where ever he is. I get paid at some point today. Usually they show up around 7 pm...(they live right down three street from me). I'm going to hand him the note when he hands me the cash. I'm going to be firm and as professional as i can be. I'm nervous but know i have my husband's back. Its time for me to grow a back bone. You are ALL right.
I REALLY wish i knew the name of his previous daycare but i don't. Any ideas on how i can ask this in a....slick...not obvious way?
Thanks again for all the help, suggestions and ideas. I will keep you posted!

The diarrhea may be from them letting him eat foods he can't tolerate because they know you will be on the hook for the end result.

I would not do this level of care. I certainly wouldn't do it without being highly compensated. Even with supplies brought I wouldn't do this. It's a level of care that needs at least minimum wage plus deposits to cover professional cleaning. He needs a nurse caring for him. They are abusing your kindness. You can surely get a kid for that price who needs zero medical care.

[spinnymarie]

Instead of asking his previous daycare at this point, I'd start advertising a nanny service in your home on craigslist, facebook, wherever you can think of. They are going to be unhappy with your new backbone and will probably look for a new person to take advantage of. Please start looking for a new client asap!

[mythrreemiracles]

Good idea....CL is huge around here as well as FB. I guess now if anything, i have learned what is RIGHT to do. Vs. Being taken advantage of. I'm already nervous about the letter but proud of myself. I feel like handing it to them...saying. ..ok...gotta go!!! And slamming the door! Lol....oh man...TGIF...
They are going to have a hard time with a deposit anywhere else but again...with summer beginning. ..i can already forsee him with his sister... have to keep in mind that i come first...my family comes first....and this kind of care is not healthy...

[NeedaVaca]

update?

[Josiegirl]

Does he get the care he needs at home?? I'm only asking because if not, wouldn't that be considered neglect?
It is certainly not up to you to be his mom but it sounds like that's what they're expecting from you.
Not supplying albuterol or a machine, and he has asthma? I'd be scared to death something would happen while he's with you. And parents could sue like crazy. I'm not saying they'd have a case but people sue over everything these days.
I'm sorry but I'm with Nannyde on this one; there's no way I'd care for a child with that many needs(just the diarrhea alone!!), especially if the parents are not willing to work with you one bit, not to mention aren't even paying you on time.
PLEASE, if you want to babysit, find another family!! There are so many families with infants and they have a harder time finding care because as providers we're more limited to the number of children under 2 yo.

[CraftyMom]

I'm also confused about the baths. My children have eczema and we do as few baths as possible with as little soap as possible.

Considering that his parents slack off with so much with you, I'm guessing they are not properly taking care of this child at home.

My guess Is:

Too many baths making eczema worse than it needs to be

Parents not taking care/applying cream to skin at home

Parents feeding him foods he is allergic to causing worse diarrhea and/or asthma attacks (may not know he is allergic)

Asthma attacks may also be due to an allergy (pets? dust mites? mold? food?)

I feel like a lot of these things may be lessened if the parents were taking better care of his conditions. Just given the general disregard for his health by not providing the necessary items at your house, one can only assume they do the same at home

I may be wrong, just how it's sounding to me