New and Could Use Some Advise on a Couple of Things

[mythrreemiracles]

Hi everyone!

I'm a full time babysitter for a 3 year old boy. I babysit him full time in my home 5 days ac week. At first everything was going very well. He was potty trained and we started bonding and formatting a great routine. I have two surviving triplets tray are now in big kid school...so by taking this job it has allowed me to be home with my kids after school which is great.
However....in their past two months some big changes have been going on with this little guy. Please know he is considered special needs if he were to go to a Daycare being as he has SEVERE eczema, bad asthmatic attacks, cannot be in the sun light and is allergic to just about everything. His parents of course supply his snacks and lunch..
Getting back to My questions...

This is what has been going on in the past two months...
I already put the creme supplied by his parents on his body art least. 4 times a day. No biggie. They now want me to give him two baths per day which i have been doing but they stopped packing his special soap and daily creme. (I keep asking and they st they will pack it and don't). I ended up buying it myself bc i can't stand to see him in so much pain.
He is no longer potty trained. I have a son and know regardless of age that kids go through stages. We are again going on two months and they stopped providing pull ups and diapers. I him every half hour to go But bc he is on antibiotics all the time he has been having severe diarrhea blow outs all over the house. They are bad and require bathing when this happens. (It happens at least twice a day now) . Im not supposed to wash his clothes and they pack an extra set...(i have asked for multiple sets bc the diarrhea is so bad now) and they again.....just don't pack any.
We spend most of the day bathing and putting on his special creme. His parents are totally aware but I'm not getting help from them so instead of him going without i went ahead and bought a case of pull ups and send home his clothes double wrapped in a bag. I don't know what to do.
I'm frustrated and don't know what to do. I make $250 every TWO weeks and have to remind them to pay me because they forgot one time and unfortunately I'm on a tight budget and need that paycheck.
I told them that i went ahead and bought pull ups and his special creme. I thought they would pay me back but i was wrong.
I know I'm getting lengthy here but what else can i do to get the parents help? If this was just a short phase than i would feel differently but i had no idea when i started in January that most of what i would be doing is cleaning him up. His speech is greatly impaired and i really wanted and was helping him so much. All of that has now changed.
I would appreciate any and all advice. What would you do If you were me?
Oh...they stopped supplying his albuterol treatments awhile ago. I have a machine of my own bc of my own kids needing it as preemies. Im about out of his puffer medicine and am scared they won't provide that asap as well. I told them that I'm out of the one and they again haven't packed another puffer or the albuterol.
And last but least, their daughter picks him up from my house every day. She is 16. When the kids dont have school i remind her to be here by 5 pm. I'm lucky if she is here by 5:45. The parents again....aware... help! Please!

[Blackcat31]

Wow! These parents are super lucky to have found you!

As far as the issues go...please don't take offense as I mean this in a helpful way...but these parents are doing these things (forgetting items/supplies, the late pick ups etc) because YOU are allowing them to happen.

If the child needs daily cream for his skin, refuse care unless they bring it.

If you close at 5 and they pick up late (even if it's someone else) charge a late fee and do not provide care until they pay the fee.

If they owe you for something, give them a due date and do not provide care until it is paid.

Whether you watch one child or a couple.....this is still your source of income.

You have a right to expect the items this child needs on a daily basis and it should NOT be coming out of YOUR pocket.

[KidGrind]

Hi everyone!

I'm a full time babysitter for a 3 year old boy. I babysit him full time in my home 5 days ac week. At first everything was going very well. He was potty trained and we started bonding and formatting a great routine. I have two surviving triplets tray are now in big kid school...so by taking this job it has allowed me to be home with my kids after school which is great.
However....in their past two months some big changes have been going on with this little guy. Please know he is considered special needs if he were to go to a Daycare being as he has SEVERE eczema, bad asthmatic attacks, cannot be in the sun light and is allergic to just about everything. His parents of course supply his snacks and lunch..
Getting back to My questions...

This is what has been going on in the past two months...
I already put the creme supplied by his parents on his body art least. 4 times a day. No biggie. They now want me to give him two baths per day which i have been doing but they stopped packing his special soap and daily creme. (I keep asking and they st they will pack it and don't). I ended up buying it myself bc i can't stand to see him in so much pain.
He is no longer potty trained. I have a son and know regardless of age that kids go through stages. We are again going on two months and they stopped providing pull ups and diapers. I him every half hour to go But bc he is on antibiotics all the time he has been having severe diarrhea blow outs all over the house. They are bad and require bathing when this happens. (It happens at least twice a day now) . Im not supposed to wash his clothes and they pack an extra set...(i have asked for multiple sets bc the diarrhea is so bad now) and they again.....just don't pack any.
We spend most of the day bathing and putting on his special creme. His parents are totally aware but I'm not getting help from them so instead of him going without i went ahead and bought a case of pull ups and send home his clothes double wrapped in a bag. I don't know what to do.
I'm frustrated and don't know what to do. I make $250 every TWO weeks and have to remind them to pay me because they forgot one time and unfortunately I'm on a tight budget and need that paycheck.
I told them that i went ahead and bought pull ups and his special creme. I thought they would pay me back but i was wrong.
I know I'm getting lengthy here but what else can i do to get the parents help? If this was just a short phase than i would feel differently but i had no idea when i started in January that most of what i would be doing is cleaning him up. His speech is greatly impaired and i really wanted and was helping him so much. All of that has now changed.
I would appreciate any and all advice. What would you do If you were me?
Oh...they stopped supplying his albuterol treatments awhile ago. I have a machine of my own bc of my own kids needing it as preemies. Im about out of his puffer medicine and am scared they won't provide that asap as well. I told them that I'm out of the one and they again haven't packed another puffer or the albuterol.
And last but least, their daughter picks him up from my house every day. She is 16. When the kids dont have school i remind her to be here by 5 pm. I'm lucky if she is here by 5:45. The parents again....aware... help! Please!

You are being used.

I would send them something similar to the following text or sit down and tell them verbally:

Hello Mom & Dad,

We are unfortunately having a communication breakdown. I’ve asked for diaper, pull-ups, creme, soap, multiple changes of clothiers and _______’s life saving medication. I have bonded with your child and would love to keep him in my care. Even so, at drop-off each and everyday I will checking his bag for all the items needed for his care. If all the items listed are not in his bag I will be unable to accept him for care. You have an opportunity to take him with you to run back home to get all appropriate items needed.

Also due to late payments and late pick ups, I will be unable to provide care until payments are up to date and late fees are received. $1 per minute is my late fee. No pay, no play!

Sincerely,

Babysitter

Now I get you need the income. Do not be desperate and accept their abuse! Also be prepared to lose him. Summer is coming and their teenage daughter may be your temporary replacement.

And what BC typed!

[Cradle2crayons]

You are being used.

I would send them something similar to the following text or sit down and tell them verbally:

Hello Mom & Dad,

We are unfortunately having a communication breakdown. I’ve asked for diaper, pull-ups, creme, soap, multiple changes of clothiers and _______’s life saving medication. I have bonded with your child and would love to keep him in my care. Even so, at drop-off each and everyday I will checking his bag for all the items needed for his care. If all the items listed are not in his bag I will be unable to accept him for care. You have an opportunity to take him with you to run back home to get all appropriate items needed.

Also due to late payments and late pick ups, I will be unable to provide care until payments are up to date and late fees are received. $1 per minute is my late fee. No pay, no play!

Sincerely,

Babysitter

Now I get you need the income. Do not be desperate and accept their abuse! Also be prepared to lose him. Summer is coming and their teenage daughter may be your temporary replacement.

And what BC typed!

Don't forget an invoice for the cost of the pull ups, creams, and whatever else you have bought and INSIST they pay for it and refuse care until they pay.

Refuse all care if items are forgotten in the future.

Refuse care until they bring the albuterol and if he runs out of ANY medication.

If he has an asthma attack in your care and you knew he didn't have his life saving medication... Then YOU can be held responsible for it. Asthma can be FATAL. Let me repeat. ASTHMA CAN BE FATAL and yes, in minutes before emt personnel show up.

No way in heck would I provide care without life saving or any other type of medications.

There's no way to take care of your own kids if you are in jail or bankrupt because a child died in your care when it could have been prevented.

Please don't take this wrong. But this is VERY VERY serious.

[NeedaVaca]

I agree with PP, you can either stand up for yourself or let them walk all over you. Why can't they do a bath in the morning and one in the evening? Start refusing care when they do not have correct supplies, don't allow late pickups and charge a hefty late fee. Advertise, replace and term...

[daycarediva]

You are being used.

I would send them something similar to the following text or sit down and tell them verbally:

Hello Mom & Dad,

We are unfortunately having a communication breakdown. I’ve asked for diaper, pull-ups, creme, soap, multiple changes of clothiers and _______’s life saving medication. I have bonded with your child and would love to keep him in my care. Even so, at drop-off each and everyday I will checking his bag for all the items needed for his care. If all the items listed are not in his bag I will be unable to accept him for care. You have an opportunity to take him with you to run back home to get all appropriate items needed.

Also due to late payments and late pick ups, I will be unable to provide care until payments are up to date and late fees are received. $1 per minute is my late fee. No pay, no play!

Sincerely,

Babysitter

Now I get you need the income. Do not be desperate and accept their abuse! Also be prepared to lose him. Summer is coming and their teenage daughter may be your temporary replacement.

And what BC typed!

Don't forget an invoice for the cost of the pull ups, creams, and whatever else you have bought and INSIST they pay for it and refuse care until they pay.

Refuse all care if items are forgotten in the future.

Refuse care until they bring the albuterol and if he runs out of ANY medication.

If he has an asthma attack in your care and you knew he didn't have his life saving medication... Then YOU can be held responsible for it. Asthma can be FATAL. Let me repeat. ASTHMA CAN BE FATAL and yes, in minutes before emt personnel show up.

No way in heck would I provide care without life saving or any other type of medications.

There's no way to take care of your own kids if you are in jail or bankrupt because a child died in your care when it could have been prevented.

Please don't take this wrong. But this is VERY VERY serious.

Um, yes this. ALL of this.

My ds has pretty bad eczema, and we were told NOT to bathe him that frequently as it dries out his skin.

I would want a dr's note with their plan for crème, medication, etc, as well as a referral for early intervention. ANY loss of skills, physical or otherwise warrants an evaluation.

Also, get a contract, and for goodness sake, raise your rates. You are essentially a nanny/nurse. You could get a PT job from 9-1 and make more than $125/week!!!

[cheerfuldom]

yup. refuse care until the laundry list of needs are met and fees are paid. There is nothing you can do but do tough love at this point. Start interviewing for a new family......one that pays, provides supplies, and has a child that is easier to care for. I just personally would not be doing all those baths and creams and special stuff.....not for $125 a week. A nanny for a special needs child, which is what you are, should be getting paid minimum wage, if not more. You would be getting paid $8 to $15 an hour around here, a lot more in other parts of the US.

[My3cents]

Wow! These parents are super lucky to have found you!

As far as the issues go...please don't take offense as I mean this in a helpful way...but these parents are doing these things (forgetting items/supplies, the late pick ups etc) because YOU are allowing them to happen.

If the child needs daily cream for his skin, refuse care unless they bring it.

If you close at 5 and they pick up late (even if it's someone else) charge a late fee and do not provide care until they pay the fee.

If they owe you for something, give them a due date and do not provide care until it is paid.

Whether you watch one child or a couple.....this is still your source of income.

You have a right to expect the items this child needs on a daily basis and it should NOT be coming out of YOUR pocket.

bbbbbbbbbbingo!

I suggest you take some classes on being a childcare provider through your state. This will also help you.

[My3cents]

Don't forget an invoice for the cost of the pull ups, creams, and whatever else you have bought and INSIST they pay for it and refuse care until they pay.

Refuse all care if items are forgotten in the future.

Refuse care until they bring the albuterol and if he runs out of ANY medication.

If he has an asthma attack in your care and you knew he didn't have his life saving medication... Then YOU can be held responsible for it. Asthma can be FATAL. Let me repeat. ASTHMA CAN BE FATAL and yes, in minutes before emt personnel show up.

No way in heck would I provide care without life saving or any other type of medications.

There's no way to take care of your own kids if you are in jail or bankrupt because a child died in your care when it could have been prevented.

Please don't take this wrong. But this is VERY VERY serious.

[saved4always]

Yes to all of the above! They are using you and you are the one who can put a stop to it by taking all the advice above.

[My3cents]

Um, yes this. ALL of this.

My ds has pretty bad eczema, and we were told NOT to bathe him that frequently as it dries out his skin.

I would want a dr's note with their plan for crème, medication, etc, as well as a referral for early intervention. ANY loss of skills, physical or otherwise warrants an evaluation.

Also, get a contract, and for goodness sake, raise your rates. You are essentially a nanny/nurse. You could get a PT job from 9-1 and make more than $125/week!!!

your getting some great advice. Bathing kids is not something I would do. That is the parents job. If the child has bad eczema bathing will dry out the skin. You need some childcare classes, they would greatly help you. Your also being underpaid. Nannies are paid more then this and babysitters too!

I too see the 16 year old taking over come summer. These clients saw you coming a long ways away- I suggest you get your daycare license and go from there. I wish you the best-

[My3cents]

Hi everyone!

I'm a full time babysitter for a 3 year old boy. I babysit him full time in my home 5 days ac week. At first everything was going very well. He was potty trained and we started bonding and formatting a great routine. I have two surviving triplets tray are now in big kid school...so by taking this job it has allowed me to be home with my kids after school which is great.
However....in their past two months some big changes have been going on with this little guy. Please know he is considered special needs if he were to go to a Daycare being as he has SEVERE eczema, bad asthmatic attacks, cannot be in the sun light and is allergic to just about everything. His parents of course supply his snacks and lunch..
Getting back to My questions...

This is what has been going on in the past two months...
I already put the creme supplied by his parents on his body art least. 4 times a day. No biggie. They now want me to give him two baths per day which i have been doing but they stopped packing his special soap and daily creme. (I keep asking and they st they will pack it and don't). I ended up buying it myself bc i can't stand to see him in so much pain.
He is no longer potty trained. I have a son and know regardless of age that kids go through stages. We are again going on two months and they stopped providing pull ups and diapers. I him every half hour to go But bc he is on antibiotics all the time he has been having severe diarrhea blow outs all over the house. They are bad and require bathing when this happens. (It happens at least twice a day now) . Im not supposed to wash his clothes and they pack an extra set...(i have asked for multiple sets bc the diarrhea is so bad now) and they again.....just don't pack any.
We spend most of the day bathing and putting on his special creme. His parents are totally aware but I'm not getting help from them so instead of him going without i went ahead and bought a case of pull ups and send home his clothes double wrapped in a bag. I don't know what to do.
I'm frustrated and don't know what to do. I make $250 every TWO weeks and have to remind them to pay me because they forgot one time and unfortunately I'm on a tight budget and need that paycheck.
I told them that i went ahead and bought pull ups and his special creme. I thought they would pay me back but i was wrong.
I know I'm getting lengthy here but what else can i do to get the parents help? If this was just a short phase than i would feel differently but i had no idea when i started in January that most of what i would be doing is cleaning him up. His speech is greatly impaired and i really wanted and was helping him so much. All of that has now changed.
I would appreciate any and all advice. What would you do If you were me?
Oh...they stopped supplying his albuterol treatments awhile ago. I have a machine of my own bc of my own kids needing it as preemies. Im about out of his puffer medicine and am scared they won't provide that asap as well. I told them that I'm out of the one and they again haven't packed another puffer or the albuterol.
And last but least, their daughter picks him up from my house every day. She is 16. When the kids dont have school i remind her to be here by 5 pm. I'm lucky if she is here by 5:45. The parents again....aware... help! Please!

I also wanted to say none of these things qualify this child for being special needs- These are conditions that he has but this kiddo is not special needs. Many kids become potty trained and then have a set back for a bit- These clients are too much of a liability not having what the child needs and not providing the child with the care he needs- like bathing them, no way would I do that unless I was a nanny-

[MrsSteinel'sHouse]

I would NOT be bathing a 3 yr old because of possible allegations of abuse. I hope you have everything documented- instructions etc.

[Leigh]

You have already received good advice. You simply can't allow him there without his medications, and you should NOT be purchasing them yourself. This child is NOT YOURS. YOU are NOT responsible for providing these things. Simply stop doing it. Definitely give them a total of what you have spent so far, and insist that they pay it immediately. Let them know that if they don't have supplies, the child can NOT be at your home.

I would not hesitate to let them know how difficult it would be to replace you. I can't think of ANY daycare provider that I know who could handle this workload. You are NOT being paid enough.

If they are short on funds, suggest that they apply for child care assistance through your state's program. You should be compensated MUCH more than you are now...in my state, special needs kids can be paid at twice the rate that other kids are, even higher, if negotiated in advance. I would be asking for at least $10.00 per hour, myself. This child is basically receiving nursing care that would cost $30+ per hour if provided by a professional in my area. You deserve to be compensated better, but at a MINIMUM, you should be compensated for what you have already negotiated and NOT be purchasing meds/clothing/diapers/supplies for this kid.

I think that the level of care required for this child COULD qualify for special needs payments from child care assistance-it is worth looking into.

[Shell]

Agree with so much that has already been said above.

Sometimes we put up with situations that we know we shouldn't, because we want to help, and/or we feel we don't have any other options.

I just typed out a very long description of a family I nannied for, but then deleted it. Let's just say it was an awful and unsanitary position, the pay was horrible, and the parents were constantly late, late with pay, and one hundred percent ungrateful for anything I did for their kids.

I stayed in the position much longer than I should have (I should have quit after day one), because I felt I didn't have any other options at the time. It was extremely important to me that I find a position where I could bring my own child, which isn't common in my area, so I just went with it.

All I can say to you is that you are being taken advantage of, and I wouldn't tolerate it for one more second. I feel like the level of care you are being asked to do is beyond a typical caregiver, and you should be compensated as such- definitely not putting out your own money. I really wouldn't stay in this position, and I would give notice. This is not worth it.