My Child Was Abused

[preschoolteacher]

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. It sounds horrible. I really feel for you--it sounds like there is a lot of stress in your life right now. I know you can't just quit your job--few people can afford to do that--but I bet that you started doing home daycare in order to be there for your son. Most people choose to be home daycare providers out of their child's best interests. Now, if your home daycare is getting in the way of providing for your child's best interest (aka making sure he's in a safe after-school program), it is time to rethink what's going on.

First, I'd report it. As a mandated reporter, you have the obligation to. Who knows if this boy will be abusing other children? And this boy--he's possibly being abused himself. Reporting it may give him the help HE needs, too.

I'd figure out another care situation for my son. The fact that no one knew whether or not they should tell you what happened, and that no good plan has been put together to protect your son, is seriously concerning.

What about homeschooling for kindergarten? Just an idea. I plan to homeschool my son, so I'm very pro-homeschooling, but not everyone likes it.

Can you drop families so you are able to pick-up and drop off your son at school? Cut back on expenses at home to be able to afford this?

Making huge changes like this are SO HARD. But it seems to be the time to do something.

[butterfly]

How much do you pay for him to attend here? I'd put that money towards paying someone to bring him to and from school.

[slorey]

I assume you are paying for the before/after care program? Is it possible to find someone who would be willing to transport your son to and from school and pay them what you are paying the ymca? It seems to me like you need to remove him from that program immediately! They have not addressed your concerns as a parent and have not set up a plan to prevent this sort of thing from happening again! If it were my child I would do everything in my power to make sure he didn't have to attend that program ever again!

[MarinaVanessa]

They knew all day and didn't notify you until he was picked up that evening???????

This was alarming to me as well. I as a parent would have been fuming if I had not received a phone call immediately. And regardless of whether or not the program handled everything wrong or made me feel satisfied that things were properly handled and explained I would have called CPS, licensing, the school itself and the police the first chance I got.

Police have special task forces with trained officers (or can call some in to help) that can interview your son to find out more about what happened without being invasive or leading. And one thing I learned from CPS during a mandated reporter training (a class I took where CPS facilitated it) is that you should never assume or believe that someone else reported it, always report it yourself even if someone else said they did it or will do it.

Also who's to say that they did or didn't report it or reported it right away or not? If the program just wasn't equipped with proper training and didn't know what to do in this situation then CPS and licensing will make sure that they fix this issue so it doesn't happen again.

[JenNJ]

1. Call the police and file a report.
2. Report it to your child services entity in your state.
3. I would be contacting a lawyer to get answers. Enough already. They are avoiding you.
4. Pull him. Hire a teenager to walk him home from school, let familes go so you can do it, or homeschool him. There must be other options. Try care.com for a sahm who picks up her own kids there and would drop him home.
5. Counseling for your son. Asap.

[daycare]

1. Call the police and file a report.
2. Report it to your child services entity in your state.
3. I would be contacting a lawyer to get answers. Enough already. They are avoiding you.
4. Pull him. Hire a teenager to walk him home from school, let familes go so you can do it, or homeschool him. There must be other options. Try care.com for a sahm who picks up her own kids there and would drop him home.
5. Counseling for your son. Asap.

I Agree with this. My son is in the same exact situation but I refused before and after school care so I hired someone to drop him off and pick him up.

I sorry this is happening to you it's every mothers nightmare.

[Unregistered]

How much do you pay for him to attend here? I'd put that money towards paying someone to bring him to and from school.

Who?

If I had that option with someone I trusted he wouldn't be going to the program to begin with.

[Blackcat31]

Who?

If I had that option with someone I trusted he wouldn't be going to the program to begin with.

I understand what you're saying but honestly, this situation is somewhere you trust?

I'd put my trust in a complete stranger before I allowed my child to attend a facility where I KNOW he has been abused.

[daycare]

Who?

If I had that option with someone I trusted he wouldn't be going to the program to begin with.

I would call and ask the school. This is how I found mine. This woman actually has a childcare and Does school pick up/drop off. She does not live too far fromme and I pay her very well to pick him up and drop him off 4 days a week. I probably pay her more to do this than I would pay for him too attend the on school care, but I refuse to have my son go to a before or after school program.

You need to get out there start talking to people and see what options there are.

[daycare]

Who?

If I had that option with someone I trusted he wouldn't be going to the program to begin with.

I would call and ask the school. This is how I found mine. This woman actually has a childcare and Does school pick up/drop off. She does not live too far fromme and I pay her very well to pick him up and drop him off 4 days a week. I probably pay her more to do this than I would pay for him too attend the on school care, but I refuse to have my son go to a before or after school program.

You need to get out there start talking to people and see what options there are.

[MarinaVanessa]

Who?

If I had that option with someone I trusted he wouldn't be going to the program to begin with.

Anyone else has got to be better than a place that is not willing to communicate or cooperate with you when your child is sexually assaulted by another child.

[Brustkt]

I would report it immediately!
I would pull my child out immediately...homeschool while you find another alternative! Is Kindergarten even mandatory in Indiana? I don't think it is in Illinois.

[Brustkt]

I would report it immediately!
I would pull my child out immediately...homeschool while you find another alternative! Is Kindergarten even mandatory in Indiana? I don't think it is in Illinois.
Why don't you call the school superintendent and the YMCA director?

[daycaremom76]

1. Call the police and file a report.
2. Report it to your child services entity in your state.
3. I would be contacting a lawyer to get answers. Enough already. They are avoiding you.
4. Pull him. Hire a teenager to walk him home from school, let familes go so you can do it, or homeschool him. There must be other options. Try care.com for a sahm who picks up her own kids there and would drop him home.
5. Counseling for your son. Asap.

I couldn't agree more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously if someone (child or adult) sexually assulted your child you need to contact the police right away!!! You are your child's only advocate and you need to advocate for your child! You can't rely on someone else "taking care of it for you" Also, can't your child ride the bus to school??? My kids both road the bus to school, their bus stop used to be up the street and it was a PITA to lug 8 daycare kids to the stop with me so I contacted transportation and had the bus stop moved, they were actually really nice about it since I had a daycare. If that isn't an option then see if he can catch a ride with a neighbor child and just give them money for gas each week. If you are that seriously worried about your child then putting him back in the same situation every day isn't a good thing, what are you going to do if it happens again????

[Unregistered]

1 don't send child to school anymore, home school for now
2 report to police
3 report to licensing
4 take child for an examination
5 follow up
Most likely the school and after school are lying to you, they already are handling this incident all wrong
Take mattes in hour own hands, I know its not easy, but your child comes first .