My Child Was Abused

[spinnymarie]

I would also report it, not because I think that they wouldn't, as they are mandated reporters as well, but because your point of view should be on that report.
I would continue to demand a meeting with the school as well as with the program, where each place hands you a detailed list of all the things they are implementing to make sure that this not only never happens to your son again, but also never happens to other children. Not that you will be able to know things that are going on with the other child, but you should at very least have a document of the things they are doing to keep your child safe. Adults in shared bathrooms at all times, children never left alone with other children, small children separated from older children through entire program. I wouldn't want my child even on the playground at the same time as that kid (or any older kid for that matter).
COntinue calling the supervisors of each person - the prinicpal has a boss, the lead of the Y has a boss, just keep moving up the chain until someone agrees to what you want. Be relentless.

[Unregistered]

In Indiana I can have up to 6 daycare children outside of my own kids. I have 2 kids. By 8:00 I have a full house. How am i supposed to get 8 kids plus myself into my vehicle in car seats? All of my daycare kids are 4 and under (with exception of my son).

[WImom]

1.) There is an obvious lack of supervision
2.) Lack of concern for what occurred
3.) Lack of a clear plan to ensure it would never happen again
4.) Lack of clarity as far as the procedures for reporting this go so you as a parent can determine if they're sufficient
5.) If my son was victimized somewhere there is no way I'd send him back to the place he was hurt if I didn't have to

I became a licensed daycare provider so I could be here for my kids before and after school as well as on days off and during half days in kindy. Not criticising but I'm having a really hard time understanding the necessity of him being in outside care if you're home......more an I wonder thing than anything

Maybe they don't have busing and she can't pick him up with having the daycare.

Sorry you are going through this!:hug: Do you have ANYONE that could start bringing him home - another parent from school, a family friend, grandparent? Maybe offer to pay a little for gas/time. I would do anything to not have my child in that program.

[Willow]

My day starts at 6:45 in the morning. I have families arriving when he has to be at school. I have no family that can help and no friends that attend that school or any others in the vicinity. I cannot take him out of school forever obviously. The other schools shuttle to this school's before and after care program so changing what we have to use is pointless.

He just turned 6 years old and we live next to a major highway. I live in the 2nd largest city in Indiana and there is no way I'm leaving a 6 year old on a street corner in a city where their are murders daily and kidnappings and molestings regularly. The closest bus drop off to his school is right in front of gas station and apartments where there were (a couple months ago) 6 child molesters living. His classes start at 8:15 when I have a full house and my husband has to be at work at 8:00.

His class gets out at 3:20 and my last child gets picked up at 5:30 and my husband gets off downtown at 5:00.


I cannot afford to hire an assistant. Especially right now because I'm losing one two months earlier than I had planned for to a preschool and I have a newborn coming at the end of November. One of my parents just had a baby this weekend. I can't quit them because I would be out two spots I would have to fill. They have been a good family.

I have no.other.options.


Secondly I don't need to know what the report says. i need to know that it was reported. At this point I don't really care about how the other family feels about that. Something is going on with that child for a reason that they are not dealing with.

Sorry to be blunt but you do have options. Plenty of them. They're just not easy ones.

Move.
Change schools.
Tweak your hours.
Change careers.

I would do any/all of the above if thats what it took to keep my child safe. There is no way I'd live where murder, kidnappings and molestation was so prevalent, no way I'd put my business hours above the needs of my children, nor would I send them back to an school run daycare program where they had been victimized *especially* if they had not dealt with what happened in a way that was satisfactory to me as a parent.

I think you are overwhelmed and feeling powerless, thats understandable, but you do have options. They may not be ones you'd like, or ones that are easy to execute, but you sure as heck do.

[Unregistered]

I would also report it, not because I think that they wouldn't, as they are mandated reporters as well, but because your point of view should be on that report.
I would continue to demand a meeting with the school as well as with the program, where each place hands you a detailed list of all the things they are implementing to make sure that this not only never happens to your son again, but also never happens to other children. Not that you will be able to know things that are going on with the other child, but you should at very least have a document of the things they are doing to keep your child safe. Adults in shared bathrooms at all times, children never left alone with other children, small children separated from older children through entire program. I wouldn't want my child even on the playground at the same time as that kid (or any older kid for that matter).
COntinue calling the supervisors of each person - the prinicpal has a boss, the lead of the Y has a boss, just keep moving up the chain until someone agrees to what you want. Be relentless.

One of the ladies from the program who is not in management said that she walks him down to class now and picks him up but his only happens on the days that she works. She apparently talked to his teacher (because the principal did not want to go into detail with the teacher) about what happened and the teacher offered to let him sit in class with her after school and he could play on the computers or read books, ect. The principal said that only one class is allowed in the bathrooms at one time. The teachers have to stand outside so that should not be an issue and they do not have recess at the same time. He said that they pretty much are at opposite ends of the school all of the time and made sure that their reading buddy program was not going to have both of them in the same class. So I feel confident on the school side that he has looked at all of that. ...not that I still don't have a knot in my stomach about it.

It's the care program I have the most concerns with. They said that this has never happened before so they are putting measures in place due to this situation. They of course are very cryptic about everything.

[Angelsj]

Sorry to be blunt but you do have options. Plenty of them. They're just not easy ones.

Move.
Change schools.
Tweak your hours.
Change careers.

I would do any/all of the above if thats what it took to keep my child safe. There is no way I'd live where murder, kidnappings and molestation was so prevalent, no way I'd put my business hours above the needs of my children, nor would I send them back to an school run daycare program where they had been victimized *especially* if they had not dealt with what happened in a way that was satisfactory to me as a parent.

I think you are overwhelmed and feeling powerless, thats understandable, but you do have options. They may not be ones you'd like, or ones that are easy to execute, but you sure as heck do.

I would add "home school" to that list of options. You don't have to make a life long commitment to do it for this year.

[KidGrind]

Did anyone call the police?

[lovemykidstoo]

Did anyone call the police?

that was my question

[Unregistered]

As far as I know they did not but they did not tell us anything until my husband picked him up. Apparently it happened before school started that day.

[CedarCreek]

Sorry to be blunt but you do have options. Plenty of them. They're just not easy ones.

Move.
Change schools.
Tweak your hours.
Change careers.

I would do any/all of the above if thats what it took to keep my child safe. There is no way I'd live where murder, kidnappings and molestation was so prevalent, no way I'd put my business hours above the needs of my children, nor would I send them back to an school run daycare program where they had been victimized *especially* if they had not dealt with what happened in a way that was satisfactory to me as a parent.

I think you are overwhelmed and feeling powerless, thats understandable, but you do have options. They may not be ones you'd like, or ones that are easy to execute, but you sure as heck do.

I cannot agree with you more.

This is super serious and I know the options available are tough but leaving him there is dangerous, IMO.

And, I would worry that my son would think I wasn't protecting him if I left him there and he had to see that kid everyday. Imagine what that would do to his self worth.

[KidGrind]

As far as I know they did not but they did not tell us anything until my husband picked him up. Apparently it happened before school started that day.

As a parent, I would make a police report. As soon as I learned of any inappropriate behavior, I would've call the police.

It may have happened on their watch. Yet a parent's watch is 24/7. A police report should be made.

[se7en]

Have you called the school counselor about this ? She is also a mandated reporter. I wonder if the boy who assaulted your son was spoken to, plus we're his parents spoken to ? I think your son should get some counseling. Maybe you can close daycare for a few days, or have a high schooler come in to help out for 2 hours in the afternoon, and you can go to school to get your son. High School girls ( or boys) would love to make 20 a day to help out for a little while. How much do you pay for him to go to the after school program ? Also, I am sure someone in his school comes home your way. Ask the principal about that. There should be some way for him to get safely home . Good luck. Your little boy comes 1 st.

[Blackcat31]

I cannot agree with you more.

This is super serious and I know the options available are tough but leaving him there is dangerous, IMO.

And, I would worry that my son would think I wasn't protecting him if I left him there and he had to see that kid everyday. Imagine what that would do to his self worth.

Leaving him somewhere you don't feel is safe lends a bad light on your parenting choices....kwim?

No one in licensing/law enforcement etc will take you serious if you say,
"My child was sexually abused but he still attends."

Makes you kind of look unsure of the whole thing.

Honestly, if you are trying to pin down the director or the person who should be handling this, I would close my daycare and march my tushie down there and raise a huge stink until I got the answers I wanted.

I would refuse to leave until someone addressed your questions, the protocol for this type of situation and got some sort of satisfaction as to the action they will be taking in regards to this.

[Willow]

As far as I know they did not but they did not tell us anything until my husband picked him up. Apparently it happened before school started that day.

They knew all day and didn't notify you until he was picked up that evening???????

[Unregistered]

What a horrible situation! I am so sorry! I would seriously look into homeschooling your son. That is the best option.

Or you could walk everyone to the bus stop in the am and walk everyone to the bus stop in the pm. This is what I do. Yes it can be a little bit of a pain. But it is a good work out! I have a step 2 choo choo wagon. You can add extra trailers, as many as you need! So you can get all your daycare kids to and from safely.