Male Prejudice?

[Cradle2crayons]

If you look at the craziest of the crazy abusers, it's women.

Martha Alice "Mattie" Hageman (Sybil's Mom)
Casey Anthony
Andrea Yates

From the website, Safe Horizon a HIGHER PERCENTAGE of women abuse children than men.

http://www.safehorizon.org/index/what-we-do-2/child-abuse--incest-55/child-abuse-statistics--facts-304.html

Of the reports, 45.2% of the perpetrators were male and 53.6% were female.

I really don't like stereotypes. My husband, has passed the background & drug check... We are both solid, Church going Christians who live out our Faith in God, and live the Christian life, so if someone doesn't want my husband, fine they can find care elsewhere. What gets me is, being a man is bad. But people don't think twice about leaving their kids with an unknown female.

I agree

I've rarely left my kids with ANY providers. My son has never been left with ANYONE other than two overnight stays at a very good friend of mines house. I used to nanny her kids a while back and they moved two hours away. She invited both of my kids to spend the night there twice since they moved. She is married now to the most wonderful man ever. He isn't her daughters dad though. I would trust this guy and gal before my own husband .

With me, although my children haven't ever stayed with an official male provider, I never made a decision based on sex. Just very few guys do daycare here.

My kids have had male teachers at school though, one in particular was AWESOME.

I'd have to agree there are very few lady providers I'd leave my kids with either. I had a couple of bad experiences when my daughter was very small and that's why our son has never been in anyone's care.

I think it's very unfair to say that sex of the provider should be a deal breaker. I think it should be their program, facility, etc that makes that decision,

But I've found here that there are a lot of providers who wouldn't leave their child with certain stereotypical things like males, people who drink a glass of wine outside of daycare, people who smoke outside of daycare, have piercings, tattoos etc.

It's actually quite sad that closed minded people are those who are spending 50 hours a week with kids trying to teach these kids to be open minded non judge mental members of society.

[se7en]

I realize that woman can also be predators. I said I would not leave my children with anyone I didn't know well. Male or female. Yes, there is a stereotype against men caring for children. I guess as a whole, our society hasn't seen many male care givers, outside of fathers caring for their own children. Only one of my children have had a male teacher in the regular classroom. There just aren't too many men becoming elementary school teacher. That may start to turnaround in the next few generations. It seems we are more comfortable with woman taking on what used to be male dominated careers than we are seeing men take on typical female roles.

[Nebula]

I agree

I've rarely left my kids with ANY providers. My son has never been left with ANYONE other than two overnight stays at a very good friend of mines house. I used to nanny her kids a while back and they moved two hours away. She invited both of my kids to spend the night there twice since they moved. She is married now to the most wonderful man ever. He isn't her daughters dad though. I would trust this guy and gal before my own husband .

With me, although my children haven't ever stayed with an official male provider, I never made a decision based on sex. Just very few guys do daycare here.

My kids have had male teachers at school though, one in particular was AWESOME.

I'd have to agree there are very few lady providers I'd leave my kids with either. I had a couple of bad experiences when my daughter was very small and that's why our son has never been in anyone's care.

I think it's very unfair to say that sex of the provider should be a deal breaker. I think it should be their program, facility, etc that makes that decision,

But I've found here that there are a lot of providers who wouldn't leave their child with certain stereotypical things like males, people who drink a glass of wine outside of daycare, people who smoke outside of daycare, have piercings, tattoos etc.

It's actually quite sad that closed minded people are those who are spending 50 hours a week with kids trying to teach these kids to be open minded non judge mental members of society.

I had similar when I worked as a Paramedic. Now, there are about as many female paramedics as there are males... back then it was a total boys club. And there are still some things, such as firefighting that are kind of a "boys club" but women should be able to do them if they are able... I had lots of patients who didn't want a "woman" paramedic, or female doctor. Now the medical field has made a drastic shift, you see plenty of murses (male nurses) and female doctors. As well as female paramedics & Firefighters.

The field of childcare should be no different, and in fact some places are embracing male caregivers. "Manny" is a new term popping up.

http://www.nannyreviews.com/guy-stuff-hiring-a-male-nanny-for-your-kids/

SOme things Men can do better than woman, that are helpful in childcare:

Lifting heavier children, or even handicapped children. What about kids who have no positive male model influence in their life?

What about "dirty play dates" with the boys? Mud wrestling, fixing cars, etc...

My best ever teacher, was my High School HIstory Teacher, a male. My best college instructor also a male (my math instructor)

In all kinds of fields you see other genders popping up. We now have lots of female cops, construction workers, foremen, welders, likewise we have male cosmetologists, nurses, teachers, and home health aides. We have female plumbers, carpenters, and even painters.........

[Cradle2crayons]

I had similar when I worked as a Paramedic. Now, there are about as many female paramedics as there are males... back then it was a total boys club. And there are still some things, such as firefighting that are kind of a "boys club" but women should be able to do them if they are able... I had lots of patients who didn't want a "woman" paramedic, or female doctor. Now the medical field has made a drastic shift, you see plenty of murses (male nurses) and female doctors. As well as female paramedics & Firefighters.

The field of childcare should be no different, and in fact some places are embracing male caregivers. "Manny" is a new term popping up.

http://www.nannyreviews.com/guy-stuff-hiring-a-male-nanny-for-your-kids/

SOme things Men can do better than woman, that are helpful in childcare:

Lifting heavier children, or even handicapped children. What about kids who have no positive male model influence in their life?

What about "dirty play dates" with the boys? Mud wrestling, fixing cars, etc...

My best ever teacher, was my High School HIstory Teacher, a male. My best college instructor also a male (my math instructor)

In all kinds of fields you see other genders popping up. We now have lots of female cops, construction workers, foremen, welders, likewise we have male cosmetologists, nurses, teachers, and home health aides. We have female plumbers, carpenters, and even painters.........

Yes, I totally agree with the male role models. Neither of the two families I care for, with a grand total of five children involved, have any male role models at ALL. Except my husband. The sibling set of 3's dad is in jail and the kids are girl age 2, girl age 3, and boy age 6. The other family set is boy age 3 months and girl almost 2. Neither of those have a male role model either.

To be honest, I don't leave my husband alone with the two youngest. Not that he can't care for kids, but the medically fragile child scares him a little with all the tubes and feeding pumps etc. and that's fine it's not an issue.

But when I sign up parents I explain that my husband is my partner, when he's home, which isn't often. If they give off a bad vibe, we talk about it. I've never had it be a deal breaker though.

And yes, my husband takes the bigger ones 3 wheeler riding, and fishing and boy type stuff. Not that I don't. It does give them a positive role model. They see him doing the dishes, helping me, parenting his own kids etc.

[Familycare71]

Crazy thing is, I think she is OK now. BUt regardless, we are on a week trial with her.

I hope of works out for you-
Once someone shows a tendancy towards paranoid thinking (esp things like abuse!) I am out-

[jenn]

I would never negotiate my subs with a client.

I homeschool my daughter and I have 3 subs (my mom, my dad, my husband) that help out almost daily. My families are all introduced to them and know that they provide back up care. Sometimes they watch kids while I am gone, sometimes they watch kids while I work in another room with my daughter.

I can understand the concern of having multiple caregivers and having male caregivers, but would never change my business to accommodate someone else's concerns. If they expressed concerned about my male subs, I would feel uncomfortable leaving the child alone with them. I would suggest that they find someplace else to go.

[My3cents]

Yeah it does weird me out a little bit. DCM Insists it isn't "personal" and that the child's dad (of course they are divorced) was sexually and physically abusive to her when she was a baby, so she is more comfortable with only females watching her. So I get it, but no it isn't worth the money I have to pay my assistant to come over. I am doing it for today because mom had no other care arranged-but it won't last I don't think, as my husband is perfectly capable. State approves of him, and he is my legal substitute as well.

no way- you just told that mom that whenever she has an issue with you, that you will bend over backwards just for her! I feel you just set yourself up with this client to just run you and your business the way that she wants. Should have told her no, he is my sub and has been through everything he needs to be able to be my sub legally. Then she could have found other care for her child for one day. You made her problems your problems.

Yikes-

[My3cents]

The abuse part is awful. But the mom had GOT to make an effort to show her child that not ALL men are perverts. If not, she will end up with a completely paranoid child. That child WILL have to deal with male teachers/doctors/police officers etc. Teaching her that all men are to be feared is also a form of abuse in itself.

First I don't agree with how OP handled situation.....

but I don't think the mom is saying that all men are perverts, she just doesn't want that for her child. I kind of wonder if OP made it more of a choice and the parent went for it.

Abuse effects everyone differently. Until it happens to you, it is hard to understand the rational of the victims thinking. We can all say could have, should have, would have, this is what I would do. But... unless you have been through that and I believe the healing is different for several reasons, you can't really make a concrete answer to fix. I don't agree with teaching that all men abuse, but again unless you have been abused how you choose to handle life is individual and I don't think a concrete answer for everyone works. Many factors play into how a victim or parent of a victim copes- I also believe the coping cycles through much as a grieving does.

[My3cents]

In a completely strange turn of events, the MANAGER - DCM's manager at work happens to be another (private) client of mine, DH and I keep her girls, together like family every week. She raved about DH being so trustworthy, great with kids etc. So DMC Calls me today, profusely apologizing and said she is OK with it- it just caught her off guard........ So DKG is now enrolled full time! win-win

glad it worked out-

[My3cents]

I deal with it all of the time. I had one woman on the phone tell me point blank since I was a guy she was sorry but she wasn't going to even bother meeting me in person. Seriously do not understand what gets into people that they feel they can make judgments without even meeting someone.

I know this is unfair to you Dave

but..... reality of it is that abuse is usually by someone known well. You don't know where that potential client was coming from in her walk of life to say that to you-

[dave4him]

Yeah but why bother saying it at all!

[Nebula]

So far everything has been great. She keeps apologizing, and just said she wasn't thinking when she made that demand. I have a long history, and have babysat her child since birth (she is now 2).......... It was out of character for her to be so paranoid............ but again we will see. The week is only begun