Male Prejudice?

[Nebula]

So anyway

I have recently taken on a part time job @ the college, just to make ends meet for us as daycare income isn't cutting it. Hubby is CPR /First Aid Trained, Background Checked, and Drug Screened - he is really amazing with the kids, so he has agreed to take over the 2 days I work @ the college.

DKM contacts me today, she got a new job and wants to use my services again so I tell her no problem, DH will be here he can handle the DKG. SHe says "Does he watch kids without you often"? I said sometimes, and then explained all the background check stuff etc...... She asked me to call in my female assistant (whom I have to pay!) and I agreed to do so, in order to not lose the client. But what would you do?

Has anyone ever dealt with this type of thing?

[Cradle2crayons]

So anyway

I have recently taken on a part time job @ the college, just to make ends meet for us as daycare income isn't cutting it. Hubby is CPR /First Aid Trained, Background Checked, and Drug Screened - he is really amazing with the kids, so he has agreed to take over the 2 days I work @ the college.

DKM contacts me today, she got a new job and wants to use my services again so I tell her no problem, DH will be here he can handle the DKG. SHe says "Does he watch kids without you often"? I said sometimes, and then explained all the background check stuff etc...... She asked me to call in my female assistant (whom I have to pay!) and I agreed to do so, in order to not lose the client. But what would you do?

Has anyone ever dealt with this type of thing?

Yep, and I don't allow parents to dictate how I run my daycare. You may be getting her business but you are paying the lady you are calling in so is what your making really worth allowing a parent to run your business??

For me, if they wouldn't accept my husband watching their kid (if that's okay with licensing etc) then they aren't a good fit for my daycare.

[MyAngels]

For me, if they wouldn't accept my husband watching their kid (if that's okay with licensing etc) then they aren't a good fit for my daycare.

Basically what she's saying is she doesn't trust your husband. That would never fly here.

[Laurel]

I wouldn't take her or hire an assistant because I'd feel uncomfortable with the implication.

I have never dealt with it personally but my husband is my legal sub. I rarely use him except when I have a doctor's appointment but I have a form that says if I have to be away does the parent give their permission for him to watch them OR do they wish to find alternate care arrangements for that day. Over the years, I've only had 2 or 3 that said they would find other care on those days. Sometimes they change their mind though.

Laurel

[Nebula]

Yeah it does weird me out a little bit. DCM Insists it isn't "personal" and that the child's dad (of course they are divorced) was sexually and physically abusive to her when she was a baby, so she is more comfortable with only females watching her. So I get it, but no it isn't worth the money I have to pay my assistant to come over. I am doing it for today because mom had no other care arranged-but it won't last I don't think, as my husband is perfectly capable. State approves of him, and he is my legal substitute as well.

I wouldn't take her or hire an assistant because I'd feel uncomfortable with the implication.

I have never dealt with it personally but my husband is my legal sub. I rarely use him except when I have a doctor's appointment but I have a form that says if I have to be away does the parent give their permission for him to watch them OR do they wish to find alternate care arrangements for that day. Over the years, I've only had 2 or 3 that said they would find other care on those days. Sometimes they change their mind though.

Laurel

[Laurel]

Yeah it does weird me out a little bit. DCM Insists it isn't "personal" and that the child's dad (of course they are divorced) was sexually and physically abusive to her when she was a baby, so she is more comfortable with only females watching her. So I get it, but no it isn't worth the money I have to pay my assistant to come over. I am doing it for today because mom had no other care arranged-but it won't last I don't think, as my husband is perfectly capable. State approves of him, and he is my legal substitute as well.

Well then I get it but still.... Maybe if you really want to keep her you could pass the cost of the assistant on to her (probably unaffordable for her so she might change her mind) or she could hire the assistant to come to her house.

Laurel

[coolconfidentme]

My SO is full time & we only had one parent say something. I explained his licensing requirements to her & added, "If you do not want a positive male role model in your child life, you are free to find care elsewhere. I would completely understand." She stayed & now loves the fact he is here for her son.

[MCC]

My husband is also my assistant/sub. My contract states that if I provide a legal sub for any day that I am absent, and the parent chooses not to take advantage, then they must pay for that day either way. I have had a parent tell me they were not comfortable with my husband watching their daughter, and I simply told them to find alternative care.

I do get where she is coming from with the abuse etc, but as PP mentioned, having a positive male role model in that child's life will definitely be a positive experience.

[Maria2013]

So anyway

I have recently taken on a part time job @ the college, just to make ends meet for us as daycare income isn't cutting it. Hubby is CPR /First Aid Trained, Background Checked, and Drug Screened - he is really amazing with the kids, so he has agreed to take over the 2 days I work @ the college.

DKM contacts me today, she got a new job and wants to use my services again so I tell her no problem, DH will be here he can handle the DKG. SHe says "Does he watch kids without you often"? I said sometimes, and then explained all the background check stuff etc...... She asked me to call in my female assistant (whom I have to pay!) and I agreed to do so, in order to not lose the client. But what would you do?

Has anyone ever dealt with this type of thing?

Everyone loves my husband and they know he is my emergency backup and they're ok with that... but I'm not sure how some of my families would react if he was to be alone with the kids a whole day....some people just assume women know how to handle kids more than men, perhaps due to their own experience with their husband

you have to evaluate your situation and make the decision to either pay your female assistant or possibly lose the child:hug:

[Maria2013]

My SO is full time & we only had one parent say something. I explained his licensing requirements to her & added, "It you do not want a positive male role model in your child life, you are free to find care elsewhere. I would completely understand." She stayed & now loves the fact he is here for her son.

[Blackcat31]

While I support males in the early childhood field 100%, there will always be those who simply aren't comfortable with males being the one in charge, changing diapers and doing what any provider does....

I can't speak for them, but I do know we've had this discussion on the board before and I am surprised at the number of members of this forum who stated they would NEVER leave their own child with a male caregiver.

I understand the stereotypes but in my opinion, they are just that ~ stereotypes.

OP~ I would let this mom know that you will not be making these types of changes and/or accommodations for her in the future and if she does not trust your DH, she will need to find alternate care arrangements.

[Familycare71]

After the stated concern I would be uncomfortable leaving my husband alone with her child!! Feel like its just setting him up for possible life changing implications!

[slorey]

My DH is my backup, emergency sub and I always let any potential family know that during interview. There is no way I would take on a family that was uncomfortable with my husband watching their child. I would let the family know you can't call in your assistant to basically provide one on on care to their child (I know she would be helping in other areas as well, but if she is not needed the sole purpose of having her there would be for that 1 child) unless they would like to cover the salary of your assistant for the times you don't need her but they want her there. Maybe that will make them see that him caring for her wouldn't be such a bad idea. If not, I would most likely term. No way I am paying an assistant to be there when not needed just to appease 1 family.

[itlw8]

Nope not even one time would I hire an assistant if I had someone to do it ( dh) she would need to pay the normal cost of the day PLUS the assistants wage including the employer taxes. or not come.

But I would not trust she would not make a claim now if my dh was ever in the room. too much of a risk.

[julie]

After the stated concern I would be uncomfortable leaving my husband alone with her child!! Feel like its just setting him up for possible life changing implications!

Agree exactly with this! I feel for the mom and child going through the abuse, but there is NO WAY I would ever allow that near my husband.