Help Me Tell Them Nap Is Not Optional

[MrsSteinel'sHouse]

Dad, I really need you to back me up on this one otherwise we are just making poor Johnny miserable with our inconsistency. I have other parents that really do want their children to nap so that they are happier in the evenings. You guys agreed to assist me in Johnny napping while he is here so I need you to be sure he realizes that your expectations and mine are the same. Please try to keep your comments about this subject positive. Thanks! :HUGE SMILE:

[mrsnj]

To me allowing to stay up to assist is rewarding bad behavior for not following rules. How do you explain to the others little John can stay up but you have to nap? Rules are rules. You break for one you allow for others to follow. It's a rule. Be done with it. I do the " they don't have to nap but they do have to rest". In the end most times they fall asleep. And if not that's ok too. But they must lay down and they must be quiet

[mrsnj]

Dad, I really need you to back me up on this one otherwise we are just making poor Johnny miserable with our inconsistency. I have other parents that really do want their children to nap so that they are happier in the evenings. You guys agreed to assist me in Johnny napping while he is here so I need you to be sure he realizes that your expectations and mine are the same. Please try to keep your comments about this subject positive. Thanks! :HUGE SMILE:

[Leigh]

What does this child who refuses to nap DO during naptime? I have a 4 year old who occasionally refuses to nap-I put him on a cot in the corner of my living room, away from the other kids, hand him ONE book, a pillow, and a blanket, and tell him that he stays there until the other kids get up. Within 20 minutes, I am carrying him into the nap room because he fell asleep.

[nothingwithoutjoy]

What does this child who refuses to nap DO during naptime? I have a 4 year old who occasionally refuses to nap-I put him on a cot in the corner of my living room, away from the other kids, hand him ONE book, a pillow, and a blanket, and tell him that he stays there until the other kids get up. Within 20 minutes, I am carrying him into the nap room because he fell asleep.

Oh, I wish!

He used to do all sorts of quietly problematic stuff--pushing an ottoman until it went slid over another sleeping child, for example. But I quickly got him understanding that he is to be quiet on his mat. He lies there and is quiet, but is clearly fighting sleep (you know how they start to fidget or something the minute they start to nod off). Just to be safe (sure the other kids won't be disturbed), once I get the others to sleep, I move him to a pack-n-play in another room. (I do it that way rather than start him there because I really don't want to have to set up a pack-n-play all the time, and I hate putting a 3-year-old in one, and I have guilt about isolating him, and my real goal is to have him napping on a mat.)

[Heidi]

I'm not sure what your kiddo's particular reason is for attending only 2 days, but how about this:

I had a child enroll last year who gma cared for; but she needed a break a few days a week. When I found out he "didn't nap" during the interviews, I suggested instead of 2 full days, we do 3 half-days.

Problem solved. He got picked up right after lunch, and everyone else napped.

[nothingwithoutjoy]

I'm not sure what your kiddo's particular reason is for attending only 2 days, but how about this:

I had a child enroll last year who gma cared for; but she needed a break a few days a week. When I found out he "didn't nap" during the interviews, I suggested instead of 2 full days, we do 3 half-days.

Problem solved. He got picked up right after lunch, and everyone else napped.

I don't do half days, but with the recent spate of parents fighting nap, I've been wondering if I should consider it. Seems like a hassle in other ways--more slots to fill, more kids, less cohesion in our days, late pick-up would mess up naptime, etc, etc, etc. But I've started considering possibilities. What makes it worth it for you?

[mnemom]

I am a total wimp. I have learned it is easier to text or email the parents when I have an issue then to say it to their face. I also state that I am texting or emailing then because it is not a subject I want to talk about in front if their child but blah blah blah how I feel about whatever it is. I suck at saying something in the moment.

[Unregistered]

Could you maybe have the child who won't nap help you with some very boring activity ? It is your time to catch up on administrative things, etc. So tell him he is your assistant, have him sit in the kitchen, or wherever you can watch him, and maybe give him a pencil sharpener to hold for you while you work. No talking to him. Just have him sit and hold it until you ask him for it. In a few days he will want to rest on his mat instead of " assisting " you during naptime. I can`t think of any other strategies right now.

Brilliant, that alone would make me sleepy!!

[Play Care]

To me allowing to stay up to assist is rewarding bad behavior for not following rules. How do you explain to the others little John can stay up but you have to nap? Rules are rules. You break for one you allow for others to follow. It's a rule. Be done with it. I do the " they don't have to nap but they do have to rest". In the end most times they fall asleep. And if not that's ok too. But they must lay down and they must be quiet

I agree. What happens when Johnny goes off to school and he doesn't want to sit quietly on the carpet for morning meeting? Or he doesn't want to come in from recess for Language Arts because "it's boring and he doesn't like it?"
Do the parents think the teachers will change up the schedule for him?

[Laurel]

I agree. What happens when Johnny goes off to school and he doesn't want to sit quietly on the carpet for morning meeting? Or he doesn't want to come in from recess for Language Arts because "it's boring and he doesn't like it?"
Do the parents think the teachers will change up the schedule for him?

Well I kind of agree but I took the original poster who said this as meaning that she would only have to do it once or twice and when he saw he had the choice of lying down or 'helping' her then he might think lying down was a better deal. That is just how I took it anyway.

I still think the issue is more with the parent so am trying to think of what she could say to him.

Laurel

[Laurel]

Please help me figure out what to say to one of the parents in my program.

His 3-year-old comes twice a week, and at home, nap is pretty much optional, so of course, he's not in the habit and won't nap for me. He's clearly tired. Naturally he's bored during the 2-hour nap time. And I'm frustrated, because inevitably, no matter how quiet he tries to be, the other kids wake up earlier when he's here and I get less work done.

To me, nap time is not optional. It is an essential part of our day, both for the kids (who need the rest and the alone time) and for me (who needs the rest and the alone time, and who does a lot of documentation/communicating with parents/planning/etc. during that time). I've been teaching for 20 years, and back then, it was assumed that all 3-year-olds nap. Nowadays, it feels like I'm constantly arguing with parents about nap. No one can bother slowing down enough to set aside nap time in their day. I can be firm about this in writing (and it's in my handbook, and in an absurd number of email discussions with parents).

What I find incredibly difficult is the little comments at pick-up time. "We talk about it every day. He doesn't want to come in the mornings because he doesn't want to have to take a nap." I just don't know what to say to that--again and again and again, because whatever I've said in the past clearly hasn't gotten through.

I need a friendly, not-sarcastic, quick and firm response. Ideas?

Maybe when dad says he doesn't want to come say "Well sorry about that but the rule here is that we at least rest." Then change the subject "Show daddy the art work you did today Tommy." That's when I kind of quickly get them out the door.

When Tommy says daddy or grandma say this or that I say "Well at daddy's house that is okay but the rule here is that we rest. So lie down please."

Laurel

[Familycare71]

My fav is replying to dad- well we have rest time every day here at xxx. If you want him to miss it you could have him picked up at xxx. Let me know!
When dcb says daddy says I don't have to nap- respond- hmmm... He didnt tell me he was picking you up so he must have changed his mind-
Put it back on dad-

[Heidi]

My fav is replying to dad- well we have rest time every day here at xxx. If you want him to miss it you could have him picked up at xxx. Let me know!
When dcb says daddy says I don't have to nap- respond- hmmm... He didnt tell me he was picking you up so he must have changed his mind-
Put it back on dad-

[Play Care]

Well I kind of agree but I took the original poster who said this as meaning that she would only have to do it once or twice and when he saw he had the choice of lying down or 'helping' her then he might think lying down was a better deal. That is just how I took it anyway.

I still think the issue is more with the parent so am trying to think of what she could say to him.

Laurel

Oh it could work, I'm just thinking more about the "my child doesn't like that so he shouldn't have to do it" mentality. I have dcp's who were mortified when their child went to K screening and refused to do the tasks because "he didn't feel like it" when I had tried to let them know all along that this was what he did here. But it wasn't a big deal until it carried over to school.