Is A Non-Working Parent A Red Flag??

[Blackcat31]

I provide a paid service.

I don't get overly concerned about what parents are doing while I provide these services.

As long as a family adheres to my policies and pays on time, they can go home and nap or simply stand in the corner all day....I really have no say in it.

I DO have personal feelings and opinions about the subject but like any business, my goal is to make a profit, not to share my personal feelings/opinions.

[Suttgirl]

I have had several through the years and have not had too many issues. You are always going to have difficult parents no matter their economic status or whether they work. I do agree that children are better prepared for school when they have had some regular "socialization". It makes me feel like I'm offering relief to these parents, which in part may make the home life better for the little one. Decide after you meet her to see if you will be a good fit.

[Crazy8]

As soon as money gets tight "daycare for socialization" is the first thing that gets yanked.

But I would use my gut...if it seems like a great family and it fits both of your needs then I would go for it.

This is my main concern. Yes, I don't quite get why a 1 year old needs a few 8 hour days a week of "socialization" but that is their choice. I don't mind part timers - I actually make more money if I have 2 kids sharing a spot then if I have a full timer, and I don't mind not maxing out my income if it means having less kids a day or two a week, that's what I like about p/t'ers... but 90%+ of my kids stay with me for 2-4 years and finding replacements is hard work for me. I'm just wondering if this "extra" expense is going to be the first thing to go when they decide they need money for something else. I had one experience where a child came to me after 2 years of grandma watching him just because they felt he needed the socialization but guess what happened as soon as their car needed repairs... yup, they had to go back to free grandma instead of paying me $85/week.

I guess I will see how I feel about them after the interview and see what other interviews I can line up.

[MarinaVanessa]

I need to fill a few spots and got a call for a young toddler. Mom does not work, they just want "socialization" for the child. I am a little leary, mostly because I feel like they will just skip out if they decide they can't afford it anymore. But then I was thinking of the positives - they want a shorter day (I work on contracted hours) and my 4:30 closing time will not be an issue (many calls I'm getting want 5:30-6pm pick ups). They can be flexible on which days so if I get another part timer who needs their day I can change things around so they still "share" the spot, etc.

anyone have experience - good or bad - that they can share on taking a child for a SAHM. I know lots of kids of SAHP's go to preschool but I do not run a full preschool - my daycare is generally up till kids leave for preschool. Should I be concerned that they want "socialization" for a 1 1/2 year old???

I've done this many times and haven't had a problem with it so far. Usually I had them be drop-in clients but I have also had part-time children that come 2-3 days a week for "half-days". Currently I have a DCB (3yo) that has been here for 2 years and mom works from home. DCB has an older sister (6yo) and now a younger brother (6mo) that stay with her, 8yo big sis is gone most of the day during school days and she keeps the baby at home but still brings DCB 3 days a week (full days now) because he likes coming and she doesn't want to interrupt his routine. The ONLY reason why I haven't taken on the 6mo baby is because he not used to staying away from mom and grandparents but we have been working on it so maybe in the future I will.

For me the great thing about it is that if the child is sick, unhappy or needs to be picked up for some reason these children (children with a SAH parent) are always the first ones to get picked up.

[Play Care]

I provide a paid service.

I don't get overly concerned about what parents are doing while I provide these services.

As long as a family adheres to my policies and pays on time, they can go home and nap or simply stand in the corner all day....I really have no say in it.

I DO have personal feelings and opinions about the subject but like any business, my goal is to make a profit, not to share my personal feelings/opinions.

[littlemissmuffet]

I don't believe that children need socialization before school.

I also don't believe that stay at home parents should refer to themselves as such when their children are in daycare... they are stay at home PEOPLE, who happen to be parents.

I do not provide care to parents who do not work or go to school unless the parent is on parental leave or has a disability/illness that makes it impossible or difficult to look after their child alone.

This is just my preference as I have strong family values that include raising your own children as many hours a day as possible.

[countrymom]

I don't believe that children need socialization before school.

I also don't believe that stay at home parents should refer to themselves as such when their children are in daycare... they are stay at home PEOPLE, who happen to be parents.

I do not provide care to parents who do not work or go to school unless the parent is on parental leave or has a disability/illness that makes it impossible or difficult to look after their child alone.

This is just my preference as I have strong family values that include raising your own children as many hours a day as possible.

happyfacehappyfacehappyface love it! The only thing is that I do watch kids who's parents go to school, because there is no more college daycare, they closed up a few years ago.

[countrymom]

also on monday I got a phone call from a lady who wanted care for her 4 yr old dd. Remember, here kids go to school at the age of 4, so when I questioned mom about it, she wanted care just till school started in september, she wanted 2 days a week so she can go and do stuff on her own. I told her no, because I only do long term care because its not fair to the kids. but really, mom only has 7 weeks till school starts.

I think it bothers me how little parents now want to spend with their kids. How can you parent in 2.5 hours that you have your kid, you can't.

also, those who want socialization, there are so many programs out there. But I think the problem is that most of them are an hour (which for a 1 yr old is plenty) why are people not using these resources. I did with my kids and had a blast.

[My3cents]

I'm sure this will become the new norm. Parents spending less time with their kids. :confused:

Some parents don't have family to lean on and find a good provider. I am ok with this as long as I have a way of contacting the parent in case of an emergency and parent lets me know where they are going to be, home, shopping etc.... cell phones die and I want a way of getting a hold of the parent if I need to for anything and good back up picker uppers that are available. I say go for it. I also think some parents are better parents for knowing they are not super Moms and Dads that have the need to be a 24/7 parent. If a parent is upfront with me about why the child is in my care and they are parenting well when the child is with them I have no issues. I have issues when a parent just wants to dump and run and is selfish all the way around. I have to look at the whole picture. There is a fine line there and I am able to see it most of the time.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I need to fill a few spots and got a call for a young toddler. Mom does not work, they just want "socialization" for the child. I am a little leary, mostly because I feel like they will just skip out if they decide they can't afford it anymore. But then I was thinking of the positives - they want a shorter day (I work on contracted hours) and my 4:30 closing time will not be an issue (many calls I'm getting want 5:30-6pm pick ups). They can be flexible on which days so if I get another part timer who needs their day I can change things around so they still "share" the spot, etc.

anyone have experience - good or bad - that they can share on taking a child for a SAHM. I know lots of kids of SAHP's go to preschool but I do not run a full preschool - my daycare is generally up till kids leave for preschool. Should I be concerned that they want "socialization" for a 1 1/2 year old???

I have had several SAHM's use my service. One family DID try to play the "We don't have the funds" game and were going to leave without notice. I told them I would be sending them to collections if they did so and we were able to work out an agreement. That family was fickle their entire stay here (every 3 months or so it was something else).
The other SAHM's have been fine. They're wonderful at keeping their children home when they're sick. They never make a fuss about holidays.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

One of my current kiddos has a working single mom, but grandma was taking care of baby. Grandma hired me so that she could have some down time.

I'm thinking at 1 1/2, your potential kiddo is just mobile enough to make it difficult to multi-task at home. KWIM? At that age, in a home, they tend to test the limits a lot and get into stuff. So, running to the laundry room and such can be a challenge, even with just one kiddo.

Of course, we all manage our housework, shopping, and everything with several kids and full-time daycares, but I think sometimes one bored kiddo can be more work than 6 with "friends" that keep them engaged.

All my families give me a 2-week deposit AND pay up front at the beginning of the week. If you're worried, just tell them that's your policy. If they like you enough, they'll do it. I'd also do set hours, like M-W-F mornings. You can always make a change if you need to from time to time, but it will be much easier on kiddo if it's somewhat consistent. Also, with mornings, you don't have to deal with nap issues.

Yes, I definitely reccommend this! I would never go back to any other way. happyface

[My3cents]

][/B]I just don't know anymore. Why have kids if you need so much "me" time. why can't people get their nails done on the weekends or later in the evening when their spouses are home. I can see dr's appointment or something really important that you need to pay attention too, but for self indulgence I don't think kids need to go to daycare for socialization. there are so many programs out there for children to develope socialization that daycare isn't neccessary.

I raised 4 kids (they are now 8-15) I would take 4 kids grocery shopping, to restaurants, clothes shopping all by myself (my parents don't want to watch them and in laws live in another city thank goodness) why is it I can do this but a mom who has one child can't even go grocery shopping anymore, I even had a mother bring her child to me so she can put her christmas tree up by herself.

sorry its off topic, but it just burns me that this is becoming the norm. Oh, my sister is like this too, we didn't grow up like this. the problem is that my mom will watch her kid and doesn't know how to say no, even thou she doesn't want too, my sister now just dumps her kid and leaves. just like when her child was 6 months old my sister needed to go on vacation to vegas so she can have alone time--whatever.

Only reading the bolded part and not the rest yet I am going to respond.....

Having kids doesn't require you to be with them 24/7 or make you a better parent because of it. Now I will read on.......

everyone's needs are different. Parenting styles are different. I would rather have a parent know their limits then find two kids pushed into a lake of water because the Mom couldn't cope. I think parents find daycares so that the child can have other kids to play with and be a part of a group on a more personal level then if they went to a play group elsewhere.

Its great that you can deal with four kids at the grocery store but don't beat up the mom that can't with one- she might have anxiety issues, or not the knowledge of how to cope alone. I have to remind myself of this from time to time, because I do find it funny when a parent tells me they couldn't go somewhere because it would involve having to take so much stuff alone plus the child and then they realize they are talking to their provider who cares for several kids every day.

I have one parent that once in a while will make a quick stop to get groceries and this parent does it alone to save time, of hauling her child in and out of the car and so she can go home make this child a wonderful meal, spend quality time with the child and have one less to do thing out of the way. This parent does take her child to store with her regularly and places and engages with him. Everyone needs a break and breath of air from time to time, her hubby works long hours and she does most of it herself, family is not near.

Then of course you do have the parents that just don't care a bit and can't wait to put those kids to bed, love showing the kids off and that's about.

I just say keep an open mind-

[countrymom]

Only reading the bolded part and not the rest yet I am going to respond.....

Having kids doesn't require you to be with them 24/7 or make you a better parent because of it. Now I will read on.......

everyone's needs are different. Parenting styles are different. I would rather have a parent know their limits then find two kids pushed into a lake of water because the Mom couldn't cope. I think parents find daycares so that the child can have other kids to play with and be a part of a group on a more personal level then if they went to a play group elsewhere.

Its great that you can deal with four kids at the grocery store but don't beat up the mom that can't with one- she might have anxiety issues, or not the knowledge of how to cope alone. I have to remind myself of this from time to time, because I do find it funny when a parent tells me they couldn't go somewhere because it would involve having to take so much stuff alone plus the child and then they realize they are talking to their provider who cares for several kids every day.

I have one parent that once in a while will make a quick stop to get groceries and this parent does it alone to save time, of hauling her child in and out of the car and so she can go home make this child a wonderful meal, spend quality time with the child and have one less to do thing out of the way. This parent does take her child to store with her regularly and places and engages with him. Everyone needs a break and breath of air from time to time, her hubby works long hours and she does most of it herself, family is not near.

Then of course you do have the parents that just don't care a bit and can't wait to put those kids to bed, love showing the kids off and that's about.

I just say keep an open mind-

i don't care for once in a while, but look at the trend now. It seems like more and more parents need "me" time. why is that. i can see a couple hours to do things (I'm at the point in my life that I can now leave my kids at home by themselves to do things) but when a child is left 3 to 5 days a week while the parent is home doing me time is a bit crazy. We all need breaks, but why do many now need 20 plus hours a week of me time. kwim.

I like parents who are up front about it too. Like this week I have teachers kids and the parents spent the day cleaning the house and the easetroughs, the kids come once a week so they can get things done around the house or go out for lunch (their oldest has a disability and no respite care but the ds loves coming to my house and is very comfortable) I have no problem with it, the kids are with me for 6 hours. Its the ones that claim to be sahm's who need lots of me time to pamper themselves and you raise their kids--kinda backwards right.

[Crazy8]

One of my current kiddos has a working single mom, but grandma was taking care of baby. Grandma hired me so that she could have some down time.

I'm thinking at 1 1/2, your potential kiddo is just mobile enough to make it difficult to multi-task at home. KWIM? At that age, in a home, they tend to test the limits a lot and get into stuff. So, running to the laundry room and such can be a challenge, even with just one kiddo.

Of course, we all manage our housework, shopping, and everything with several kids and full-time daycares, but I think sometimes one bored kiddo can be more work than 6 with "friends" that keep them engaged.

All my families give me a 2-week deposit AND pay up front at the beginning of the week. If you're worried, just tell them that's your policy. If they like you enough, they'll do it. I'd also do set hours, like M-W-F mornings. You can always make a change if you need to from time to time, but it will be much easier on kiddo if it's somewhat consistent. Also, with mornings, you don't have to deal with nap issues.

I do require a deposit and payment in advance but it would just be a pain in the butt to have to replace the kid if they leave, even with 2 weeks notice. Of course ANYONE can leave with just 2 weeks notice but in 13 years I have been very lucky, 90% of my kids age out, they don't leave suddenly. Parenting choices aside, I just feel like this will be very "disposable" to them if things get tight - unlike most of my clients.

I hate doing half days - it just doesn't work well for me so they'd have to do full days.

[daycare]

I take a LOT of vacations without my kids and I do things with NO one for a few hours at least 2x a month.

But I am with my kids every day. So I guess that could be different....

ONe of my Stay at home Parents, is one of my very best clients I have. They respect all of my rules, have sent me families that are just as great as them and they alway ALWAYS keep their child home when sick. I think that they are just like any other parent out there, they just don't work.......

I have another that is a full time student. Working on a law degree. When she is off from school she tends to FALL asleep a lot at home and over sleep. She is late by an hour or more at least 2x a month.....