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Can NOT Believe the Response I Got Back From This Woman!!

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  • #31
    Diplomacy is key!

    Originally posted by Breezy View Post
    If you are interested in meeting with me, I have a few questions for you:
    - Have your children been in daycare before? If so, why are you looking for a different daycare?
    -What are the qualities you are looking for in a child care provider?
    -What are you looking for in regards to enviornment? (Large group=social skills; Small group=one on one care)
    Here was the response:
    Thank you for your interest, but I am not a criminal and do not feel comfortable with being interrogated. Good luck with -that-. " - Have your children been in daycare before? If so, why are you looking for a different daycare?"
    Like some of the others, I too can kinda see how the mom could have been offended by these questions. I don't think that it was so much as rude as it was... a bit overwelming. Like she said she doesn't feel "comfortable with being interrogated" some of those questions can come off as kinda harsh and even desperate on paper (or E-mail in this case). Like some of the others I also thought that she was sending the 1st part to you and I was thinking "man that's weird and kinda rude to ask someone who has an ad for open daycare spots those questions, its like she is fishing for daycare advice from you" it didn't sound quite as bad when I realized that it was the other way around but it was still sounded a little off. The fact that you asked it in writing on the internet without her getting a chance to respond to you first kinda feels impersonal and can make them feel bombarded and pressured to answer these which can make them feel vulnerable. Putting all of these questions bunched up like that in writting can look overwhelming and cause you to put your defenses up.

    Since you were answering HER ad instead of her answering YOUR add I think slow and steady wins the race just ask her if she can talk on the phone or give her your number. Saying "If you are interested in meeting with me, I have a few questions for you" kind of does seem a little off-putting and wouldn't make me interested either. I think those questions and your family history can wait until you are better aquanted and seem like you are more interested in if their family would fit in with your program than if your program fit the family (even if it is true to some point you have to make them feel like they know they would like your program). Some people may like the fact the you seem open to giving your information out like that but some can be like "O my gosh she is talking about her family but isn't asking me about my family" (though I understand that she posted an ad and probably put her information in the ad). Also a little mystery is a good thing, grabs attention and makes them want to know more about you. You have to remember that not only are you interviewing her but SHE is interveiwing YOU as well, and SHE has to make the final decission!

    They may be things to ask on the phone or at an interview because they sound better in person or spoken with some spacing in between the questionings and it allows them to give you the answers and if you phrase them right you may not have to ask some questions because they will fill comfortable giving you more information. such as:
    U: "So, tell me about your Family."
    PDCP: "My name is Linda, I am a dental assistant and my hubby Bob is a nurse; we have 2 children: Bobby is 1 and Suzy is 5. Bobby is a very happy baby and Suzy is in kindergaten and she loves to dance, sing, and read."
    U: "Have Bobby and Suzy been in a daycare center or family child care before?"
    PDCP: "Yes, we were at a center for about 4 months after I went back to work, but just left our center because we didn't like their program, so we decided to try family child care"
    U: "Just out of curiosity, what about their program didn't you like?" let them answer "Thank you for letting me know that, I will keep that in mind. Was their anything about their program that you did like?" let them answer "Do you prefer bigger play groups or smaller play groups for your children?"

    It's all about the phrasing and spacing; which is better left said rather than written. When it comes to parents you need to be diplamatic so they are less likely to take advantage of you and know that you are serious about what you do. Honestly some families just want child care and aren't interested in your family or personal life, but many will probably show more interest after they get to know you. Some personal things should be more about just answering what they ask and asking them about themselves so that they feel you are genuinly interested in having the family in your program. You have too keep a professional image to survive in this business because word of mouth can make or break your business!

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    • #32
      Remix...

      Originally posted by Breezy View Post
      I already knew all those things because of what was written in her ad.
      As for the other questions, if she is looking for an enviornment where there are lots of kids for interaction thats not here. She needed immediate care. The other normal quesions were answered in her original ad no need to revisit that. As were the rates she was willing to pay.
      In this field you have to make them feel special, even if it's in the ad just rephrase some things you already know like "I also have a one year old and I know he would be a great playmate and friend for your one year old" so that way you two already have something in common. Many parents like it if there are kids close to their children's age in a program. And open ended questions mean when they can give you more information than just yes or no (which are the type of questions you should also be used to asking children).

      Don't be offended by any of the comments, I don't think anyone is trying to make you feel bad they just are trying to give you advice. So just take the comments as constructive critisism to help you improve your business. Some times, you just have to step out of the provider's POV and think of how things would sound from the Parents POV. A great way to see how something would come off wrong is asking it in different tones in front of the mirror, if it is something that can come off in a nasty or uppity tone, unless it is a genaric question like "how many children do you have" just hold off on it until you can ask it the way you want it to sound.

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      • #33
        With a defensive response like that, can you imagine trying to work with them everyday in regards to their children? YIKES!!!

        Whew! ... Next!

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        • #34
          IMO, none of those questions are rude to ask a prospective parent, if they have nothing to hide. I take a lot of time out of my day to answer email inquiries. Lots of parents don't take the time to read my website and then send me questions that could easily be answered by READING MY WEBSITE. I answer them. If they are important to the parent in making a decision, then I have nothing to hide by answering honestly.

          However, most parents don't come with websites that advertise how they treated their last care provider or if their kid has special needs, etc. Why is it so bad for me to ask a few questions before I run around during the day making the house extra clean and take time away from my family after hours to have an interview with people that have not given me enough information to determine if this is a care relationship that I would be willing to invest in in the first place? I think it's fair to know what type of care they are looking for, what they are expecting and what their previous care experience was like. Anyone that can't give me a straight answer on any of the above is NOT A FIT for my daycare.

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          • #35
            Regardless of if your questions were appropriate, her response was incredibly rude and yu did dodge a bullet.

            This a reason why I don't answer ads from people looking for care but wait for people to come to me through MY ad. Imo those parents who set up an ad looking for care are alpha parents and used to being in charge. I don't typically care for children of parents like this because they want to be in charge of my business. Having to respond to an ad puts me in a passive position and that's not how I prefer to start a business relationship.

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            • #36
              I don't usually ask too many questions up front, especially in an email since it can be taken the wrong way and I think that's what has happened here too!

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              • #37
                I think you got lucky here... I honestly don't think it matters if you should have asked it that way or not or who contacted who first. In no way were your questions rude - maybe too much too fast, or perhaps too personal too early, BUT, in no way shape or form should an adult whom we assume works, answer an email like that. She should know this is a really small world. Eventually, her 'abruptness' will come back to haunt her!

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                • #38
                  Originally posted by AnneCordelia View Post
                  This a reason why I don't answer ads from people looking for care but wait for people to come to me through MY ad. Imo those parents who set up an ad looking for care are alpha parents and used to being in charge. I don't typically care for children of parents like this because they want to be in charge of my business. Having to respond to an ad puts me in a passive position and that's not how I prefer to start a business relationship.
                  I've put out ads on Craigslist when we were in the market for childcare and I'm almost detrimentally UN-alpha. I put up an ad, not to control the relationship, but to find one. I was having a very hard time finding care and I was hoping that there was a provider whose ad I'd missed or a SAHM interested in providing childcare who, for whatever reason, wasn't advertising themselves yet. Maybe they'd gotten bad responses from ads, maybe they were on another website (Care.com, SitterCity, etc.), maybe they didn't have an opening yet but would soon, or maybe they were only looking to care for 1-2 part time children, etc. It felt almost like a job search and I figured the more I put out there, the better my chances were of finding a great match.

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                  • #39
                    Since I was answering her ad, I personally would not have asked the question of why she is changing situations, although I would have asked during interview time. Either way, still no reason to respond like that. Like pp said, I can see why she is looking for childcare and good thing you got to see her 'true colors' before too late.
                    lovethis daymommy to 7 kiddos - 5 girls and 2 boys

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