3 Year Old Can't Put Own Shoes On

[SunshineMama]

I am getting so frustrated with my 3 year old dcb. When it's time to go out and play, everyone gets their shoes on and lines up by the door. He just doesn't pay attention and I have to tell him multiple times. When he finally gets to the door, he can't even slip on his Crocs.

I have tried to teach him and am so frustrated now. Even my 1 year old can slip on her shoes. What am I doing wrong?

[LittleD]

Does he want to go out and play? Is it defiant behavior? If he is just being stubborn, pick him up (shoes in hand) set him on a chair/bench and tell him if he wants to play with the kids, he needs to put on his shoes.

I had a 4 yr old like this, but we usually all just sat and waited for him to put his own shoes on before we went out. If we were short on time, I would do the option I mentioned, and he'd sit there and cry until he felt like putting his shoes on. He eventually got it.

[My3cents]

Is he chubby?

Kids that are fluffy sometimes have a harder time to do this. Not all kids develop at the same time with these skills. Work with him. Start him first. Show him, and expect to have to show him over and over again.

He will get it. Dress up area is a great way to learn these skills too. Practice through play

best-

[Crystal]

Be patient! Just because he is three doesn't mean he is developmentally ready for this skill. It is unfair to compare him to othe children, as all children develop at their own pace. I recommend encouraging him to try, and then, rather than get upset, put them n for him and go about your day. It will save a lot of time and frustration!

[morgan24]

I have one like that. He is 3 1/2 and as soon as I ask them to start getting their shoes on they all sit down and do it, even the 2 year olds try. He starts saying right away that he can't, then he won't try at all. I have showed him, helped him, directed him over and over but he still won't try.

Sorry to jump in on your post, but I hope you get some good ideas, because I could use them.

[SunshineMama]

He is not fat and he loves outside. I feel like he should be able to slip his feet into a pair of Crocs at age 3. It appears that he tries half-heartedly then just would prefer that I do it for him. Should I have him sit and tell him when he puts them on he can join us, or should unjust keep doing it for him?

[countrymom]

I will 100 percent tell you that his parents put his shoes on for him and he's waiting for you to do it. I had a kid just like this, I would bring the shoes outside and let him put it on outside, sorry at that age, I do expect him to do things for himself. Don't give in, I never did, children should take pride in some things that they do.

[kitkat]

I will 100 percent tell you that his parents put his shoes on for him and he's waiting for you to do it. I had a kid just like this, I would bring the shoes outside and let him put it on outside, sorry at that age, I do expect him to do things for himself. Don't give in, I never did, children should take pride in some things that they do.

Exactly what I was thinking! We went through a rut of not remembering how to zip our jackets, even though the kids have been doing it for months. I was getting so frustrated and I hated that feeling. I did a simple sticker chart to get everyone on the right track again and it worked beautifully! DD and DCG can zip, so they got a sticker everytime we had to put jackets on and they were able to zip by themselves. DCB was 2.5 and was still learning how to put his shoes on by himself. I would put one on and he had to at least try with the other. At the end of the day, they got one M & M per sticker (about 3 each). I only did it for 3 weeks and by the end of the 2nd week, the kids were ok about me "forgetting" and didn't even remind me. A chart might be a good way to just break the frustration cycle. When DCM/DCD are there, mention that you are working on independently getting shoes on. They probably don't even realize it's something he could be doing on his own. Good luck, I understand your frustration.

[Childminder]

I have this child's twin sister and she's developmentally slow in everything. Her parents manage every aspect of her life and are wanting me to get on board with potty training. Don't see it happening! She can't put her shoes on or off, pull her pants up or down, even use a spoon or fork to feed herself. I think she has a hearing loss too cause she barely speaks and has such a blank expression most of the time. Of course mom and dad think she's the most brilliant child.

Is the shoe issue the only problem? Maybe after a few weeks of training him to get his shoes on you could just set him in a spot on the porch and tell him when he puts his shoes on he can come and play?

[momma2girls]

I had one Mom tell me her 14 month old, said oh oh everytime he was wet!! WHATEVER!!!! She said "wouldn't that be funny, if he was potty trained before he was walking" she actually thought this was funny!! !!!! This little boy started walking at 20 months, never sat up at all. He started crwling at 10 months. He is 2, and can't even hold a spoon yet!!! I always tell the parents, I am working with him on this task and this task. He still has a paci 24/7 with them, and carries around a lovey/blanket. I stopped this about 7 months ago, but they are still giving it to him 24/7 at home!!! He only gets them at naptime here!! Good thing I have a strict potty training policy in my contract now.

[Countrygal]

I am getting so frustrated with my 3 year old dcb. When it's time to go out and play, everyone gets their shoes on and lines up by the door. He just doesn't pay attention and I have to tell him multiple times. When he finally gets to the door, he can't even slip on his Crocs.

I have tried to teach him and am so frustrated now. Even my 1 year old can slip on her shoes. What am I doing wrong?

I have a 3 1/2 yo just like this(actually I have a 4yo like it as well!) Sometimes I get soooo frustrated! I found out he was acting this way because at home everyone does everything FOR him. He just expects it. He has been here six months and is learning, but we still struggle with this type of behavior frequently. I just tell him "if you want to go outside, get your shoes and get them on. Noone here is going to do it for you. If you're not lined up the next time I look, you will stay in (or shadow me, or whatever)". OR "Everyone here wants to go outside and you are making them wait. You have one minute(or whatever) to get your shoes and get them on or you will not participate in the next event (free play or whatever)

I will do this for a week or two and then I'll say: "Ok, you've learned how to get your shoes and put them on, from now on there will be no warnings. If you do not do it the next time I tell you to, you will......(see above)".

It has worked, but it does take a lot of energy. And he has had LOTS of time outs, events missed, etc, because he did not listen. It doesn't happen nearly as often any more.

[SunshineMama]

I have this child's twin sister and she's developmentally slow in everything. Her parents manage every aspect of her life and are wanting me to get on board with potty training. Don't see it happening! She can't put her shoes on or off, pull her pants up or down, even use a spoon or fork to feed herself. I think she has a hearing loss too cause she barely speaks and has such a blank expression most of the time. Of course mom and dad think she's the most brilliant child.

Is the shoe issue the only problem? Maybe after a few weeks of training him to get his shoes on you could just set him in a spot on the porch and tell him when he puts his shoes on he can come and play?

He's not too far behind in anything else. I think he is perfectly capable of slipping on Crocs. I am going to employ some of the suggestions I have gotten and see where that takes me.

[countrymom]

you know whats bad, when these kids go to school. since everything has been done for them when they get to school they have no idea how to do anything. Dcm has complained numerous times how the school doesn't allow enough time for her child to get his stuff on to go outside. I just want to yell at her that she did this to him. He's going to be 7 soon and he still can dress himself, I have another one who is 7, and today (my ds wore his crocs to school and took his runners to school but they are small) well the mom says, "oh he can change his shoes" I'm like yes (he's 9, so I hope so) welll she goes on to tell me how her ds can't even manage to do this at school without it taking a really long time.

[spud912]

My 18 month old has been putting shoes on by herself for 3 months now!

[SunshineMama]

Exactly what OP posted- if an 18 month old can, a 3 year old should be able to wear Crocs by himself. My 3 year old puts on her own tennis shoes and ties them herself too. I think it goes back to lazy parenting and not wanting to take the time to teach. They expect it all to be done at daycare.