Not Sorry To See Her Go.....

[Meeko]

Today is the last day for one of my dcg's. She's 6 and has been with me since she was 2 months old.

I've had many kids over the years who have with me after lot shorter time and I have broken my heart when they left. Not this one.

It's been hard for me to describe her...but my husband hit the nail on the head.

Think of Angelica from Rugrats. She lives and breathes in my day care.

Her mother spoils her dreadfully. She is catty, selfish, spiteful, manipulative, demanding and just plain nasty. Not the nicest way to describe a 6 year old, but I can't pretend that I see any endearing qualities in the child.

I have tried to teach her manners and to be nice etc...all useless.

Her mother drives me crazy too. She'll whine about payment (most of which is paid by the state) and how hard up she is and yet the child comes almost daily with new clothes and is always boasting about her latest toy. If anyone brings something for show and tell (Friday afternoons), that she doesn't have...she is horrible to that person for the rest of the day (as if they have no right to have anything she doesn't have) and then usually shows up the next show and tell day with the same toy that she has insisted her mother buy her. It's sickening.

I know the relatives of the girl and they refuse to ever tend her because she treats her own cousins like dirt....just like Angelica!!!

She is leaving because of school problems. Like most kids who go here from birth through school, her mother made special arrangements so she could attend the local school and go back and forth on the bus, which picks up and drops off outside my back gate. She should actually be in another school district.

Mom has "problems" getting up in the mornings (she lost her job over this and has gone back to school and the state is now paying most of her day care) and the child has been late for school more often than not or hasn't even gone. Mom will drop her off here at 3:30PM (after school hours), tell me she needs to study....and picks her up at 6PM when I close.

Well, the school finally had enough, told her she was taking up a spot that could go to a child who actually lived in the area and told her she was no longer welcome.

Sooooo.....as she lives about 15 miles away, coming here for day care is no longer practical.

Sorry for being so long winded....the bottom line is, I am not sad to see this child go. The other kids LOVE it when she's not here and so do I. I feel bad for saying that and have tried to like her, but she's a very unlikable child and I am not the only one as even her relatives can't stand to be around her!

Am I a horrible person because I will be faking the "sad" goodbye tonight????

[wdmmom]

Oh gosh no! A child that takes a lot of time, effort, energy or are just a royal pain sucks the life out of you! When they are gone, it's like a newfound sense of life! The world seems brighter, work is fun and your upbeat attitude is seen for miles.

Feel free to do the happy dance not once or twice but maybe even three times after they leave tonight. Then poor yourself a glass of wine and smile!

[JenNJ]

Sometimes I do not like a child I care for. When I dare to tell someone this, they look at me with shock and horror. Usually they ask, "How can you work with kids when you don't like them?" My answer: "I am great at my job. I treat all kids the same even if I don't like a child or I have a favorite. Not even my husband can tell you who my favorites and least favorites are and he sees me working with them 2-3 hours every weekday. Part of my job is to make every child feel loved and appreciated, so I do."

Remember that kids are people too. I don't like every adult so why would I like every child? Some people's personalities just don't mesh. As long as you took good care of that child and you were kind, you did your job.

So no, you aren't a horrible person. You are damn good at your job!

[Meeko]

Thanks for the support...I have always treated her with love and kindness...it just doesn't come as easily as it does for the other kids. I usually HATE my last day with my kids. I cry buckets as I grow so attached to them. I am sad to say that after 6 years, there is no real attachment to this little girl.

I do feel confident that I have done my job and taken good care of her. But it's been just that....a job.

[Cat Herder]

I bet next week is going to be so peaceful....

[Ariana]

You provide a service so liking the kid isn't a requirement IMO. As long as that doesn't affect your treatment of her or the services you provide I don't see a problem with it. We can't always afford to only take kids we love!! Only a fellow daycare provider can relate to that

Sounds like the mom is a bit of a loser! I wouldn't be sad to see her go either...

[Sugar Magnolia]

When you have a child that makes you and everyone around you miserable, it's definitely ok to not feel bad when they leave. I'm totally with you on this.

[Heidi]

When you say goodbye tonight, don't fake something you don't feel, like
"oh....I will miss you so....."

I would find SOMETHING nice to say, wishing their family well, and maybe giving her a group picture of all of you? It's really too bad that she's so spoiled. It will cost her many relationships in her life. Sad, really!

[countrymom]

don't ever wonder how teachers do it. Imagine 20 kids in a class, there is no way they like all of them, they tolerate them, they do their job, treat them like everyone else and when they leave I bet you that they do the happy dance.

[bunnyslippers]

don't ever wonder how teachers do it. Imagine 20 kids in a class, there is no way they like all of them, they tolerate them, they do their job, treat them like everyone else and when they leave I bet you that they do the happy dance.

It is sooooo difficult to teach 20 kids and love them all the same. I had a TERRIBLE time naming my two boys, because so many names reminded me of kids I couldn't stand over the years.

Celebrate Angelica's departure tonight! Go out to dinner and breathe a sigh of relief!

[momma2girls]

When you have a child that makes you and everyone around you miserable, it's definitely ok to not feel bad when they leave. I'm totally with you on this.

This is very, very true!!! After doing daycare for over 9 yrs. now- I will tolerate things anymore, like I used to. I think yr. after yr. you develop more of a strong backbone!!! It is definately not worth it!!

[saved4always]

ITA with everyone else here. There is no way that you are going to love every child you watch the same and there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing the happy dance when a child who made your job way harder is leaving. As long as you gave her the same good care as all the other kids and as long as you did not show to the parents or the child that you did not really like her, you have done your job. It was your job to make sure she was cared for and safe and that she felt loved (even if you didn't really feel the love). Sounds like you successfully did that. So, enjoy your happy dance tonight after pick up!!!!!! happyfacehappyfacehappyface

[laundrymom]

I had a family several years ago,similar to yours. high maintenance. The oldest and middle kids were unhappy, unfriendly and not a joy to have. Three kids. Mom found a center where they could all attend for seven. Seven dollars less PER MONTH!!! Like $7.00. Per month, for all three. Not each. $2.33 per kid per month is what she saved.
I was not dropping my rate to compete I kept playing the Rascal flatt song,' I feel bad, that I don't feel bad. '

3 weeks, stitches to the eye of the middle one, lice infestation, two bouts of diareah, and one smashed finger in the play yard storage shed later, I amazingly had no opening for them. @@

It is okay to " feel bad, that you don't feel bad" about them leaving.

[CheekyChick]

Maybe you could act sad because you WISH you were sad and WISH you had feelings for this little girl. Then it would be authentic.

The fact is, children are like all people. Some we adore and some we don't. I've had children for less than a year that I cried hysterically when they left. I've had some for years that I don't feel anything at all (or maybe even a tiny bit happy).

[sharlan]

I agree with the others. It's really hard to admit that you don't "totally love" a child. Sometimes we just don't mesh with a child no matter what we try to do.