New Daycare Mom Needs Advice!!!

[Unregistered]

My child's daycare provider asked to see if I could have someone else watch her. The reason being she had a new baby coming to daycare and she would be over the limit because of the age limits. It would be for a few months;until one of the other kids has a birthday. Is this normal practice?

[Thriftylady]

It depends. Ratios are one of those slippery slopes where all providers struggle. It sounds like your provider is in a bind. It could be any number of things that caused the issue. I am guessing that the new baby has a sibling already enrolled in the daycare. Very often, infant slots go first to siblings for several reasons. One of which being that if she doesn't take the sibling, she looses two children and is left with an empty slot. Another one being that the family with the sibling has been enrolled longer. I am just guessing here of course not knowing the provider but throwing out the most common scenarios.

How long have you been with the provider? Are you happy with the provider? Has the provider given you the date the spot will be open? Has she promised you that spot once it is open? These are all questions that I would use to base what I would do in your shoes. If I was happy with her, then I would look for a temporary solution until I could go back.

[Josiegirl]

I completely 2nd everything pp said. Dcfs often expect another child while in our care and we do get into a bind with our numbers. We can only have so many children according to each state. I am facing that problem in the next few months and am hoping like crazy that it works itself out. I don't want to have to do to my dcfs what's happening to you. I love all my dcfs and picking one to let go of temporarily would be extremely difficult and probably cause me to lose the sibling.
Guess what I'm trying to say is please see both sides because in an issue such as this one, there are definitely 2 sides to consider. Is it common? I'm not sure but it does happen and probably mostly to private daycare homes where we can't really afford to hire an assistant; we end up having to pick and choose. This is a business first so we do need to consider making a living. As for myself, I try to consider all angles and make it work for the majority, without compromising too much. As it turns out one of my dcms had a baby in December but I cannot take her until summer, when my under-2 yo twins will be staying home with teacher dad. Then I just found out 1 of my other dcms may very well be pregnant and is due around Sept. Then a former dcm whose dd entered K, stills want to bring her baby this next fall. I definitely have to say no to somebody.
Good luck with your choice and search for child care!!

[Laurel]

My child's daycare provider asked to see if I could have someone else watch her. The reason being she had a new baby coming to daycare and she would be over the limit because of the age limits. It would be for a few months;until one of the other kids has a birthday. Is this normal practice?

Personally, I think it is wrong to ask someone who is already there to give up their spot. The new baby can go somewhere else temporarily. If she loses both then so be it. I just feel like it is wrong. The parent who had another child has the problem. Not the provider and certainly not you.

I know others feel differently but that's my opinion and what I always did.

[Thriftylady]

Personally, I think it is wrong to ask someone who is already there to give up their spot. The new baby can go somewhere else temporarily. If she loses both then so be it. I just feel like it is wrong. The parent who had another child has the problem. Not the provider and certainly not you.

I know others feel differently but that's my opinion and what I always did.

That can go either way. It depends on the provider policy, if the provider has a policy on this. I personally would never have taken on an infant if I knew I had one soon to be coming that would cause an issue. I do have a policy where siblings get first priority, but if I had a mom having a baby soon and I had an empty space, I would likely just leave it empty rather than have an issue.

[Blackcat31]

While I agree with Laurel that the NEWLY enrolled child (infant) is the child that should have their start date extended, I wonder if there is an issue with enrollment and which child is full or part time or if both families are full time.

If the OP's child attends part time then like Thriftylady said, I do have a policy that full time will ALWAYS trump part time (I am a business and my goal is to make money) so if a part time child was the easiest to "displace" for a few weeks so that I could enroll a full time infant I would absolutely consider asking the part time family to find alternate care until X date.

I would also do the same if I had a particularly "difficult" part time child in care. I may ask the part time child to find alternate arrangements so I could peacefully transition a new infant into care without the worry of managing the baby and the "tough" child all at once.

Again, it's the beauty of self-employment.

Providers can do what works best for them and whether this is "common practice" with in-home family child care providers or not is irrelevant as the OPs provider DID ask her to find alternate care for X dates so I would assume there is a pretty good reason for her to so.

[LysesKids]

While I agree with Laurel that the NEWLY enrolled child (infant) is the child that should have their start date extended, I wonder if there is an issue with enrollment and which child is full or part time or if both families are full time.

If the OP's child attends part time then like Thriftylady said, I do have a policy that full time will ALWAYS trump part time (I am a business and my goal is to make money) so if a part time child was the easiest to "displace" for a few weeks so that I could enroll a full time infant I would absolutely consider asking the part time family to find alternate care until X date.

I would also do the same if I had a particularly "difficult" part time child in care. I may ask the part time child to find alternate arrangements so I could peacefully transition a new infant into care without the worry of managing the baby and the "tough" child all at once.

Again, it's the beauty of self-employment.

Providers can do what works best for them and whether this is "common practice" with in-home family child care providers or not is irrelevant as the OPs provider DID ask her to find alternate care for X dates so I would assume there is a pretty good reason for her to so.

I have the same policy... FT trumps PT. Of course in my case my PT child is also just over a month from aging out so my new infant gets the spot regardless; Mom & Dad already know little miss is gone in March & no issues because it's written in their contract - I have a paragraph in the contract itself that spells out the aging out process so nobody can bitch they are getting bumped for a younger child

[daycare]

not to sound like a broken record, Ft trumps PT

what does your contract say?

Does it say anywhere that if a full time child should enroll that you may be bumped?

[Unregistered]

We are full time at the day care and there is nothing stating anything in the contract about bumping people out. We really do like her, so hopefully we can work something out.

[Blackcat31]

We are full time at the day care and there is nothing stating anything in the contract about bumping people out. We really do like her, so hopefully we can work something out.

Have you tried to talk with her about any of this?

My advice would be to bring it up, let her know you are feeling a bit confused about the situation. If she has a legit reason Im sure she'll gladly explain.

I often times forget that the parent's perception/perspective is totally opposite mine. Things that are a given to me might make no sense to a parent.

Call her or e-mail her. Dont bring it up at drop off or pick up. No ones kid needs to over hear an adult conversation.
Just be honest about your questions and feelings about this and hopefully she'll reciprocate.

If not, you'll be aware of the fact that there may be a break in your relationship.
Relationships change all the time for lots of different reasons.

I'd rather ask, be answered and move on accordingly then stressing and taking no action.

[Thriftylady]

Have you tried to talk with her about any of this?

My advice would be to bring it up, let her know you are feeling a bit confused about the situation. If she has a legit reason Im sure she'll gladly explain.

I often times forget that the parent's perception/perspective is totally opposite mine. Things that are a given to me might make no sense to a parent.

Call her or e-mail her. Dont bring it up at drop off or pick up. No ones kid needs to over hear an adult conversation.
Just be honest about your questions and feelings about this and hopefully she'll reciprocate.

If not, you'll be aware of the fact that there may be a break in your relationship.
Relationships change all the time for lots of different reasons.

I'd rather ask, be answered and move on accordingly then stressing and taking no action.

I agree with this. I tell all of my parents that there are not many issues we can't solve with communication, but if we don't communicate we will have nothing but problems. I would do as BC said and call her and talk to her about it. Tell her you really like her, but you don't understand what has happened. Like BC said, she will either have a very good reason, or you will find your relationship isn't so great with her.

[Play Care]

I think the provider is being wishy washy and I'd be annoyed.
Yes, we only have so many spots. But someone who is "in" the spot should keep it and not be "bumped" unless the provider has specific policies (i.e.: FT trumping PT, not being a SA provider, etc) that cover it. In which case she would let the family go, not try to skirt regulations.

Maybe the OP's child is difficult for the provider or she has some issue with the OP, and is hoping this will make them move out of her DC. It still points to being wishy washy and I'm too type A for that.

[Mad_Pistachio]

um, I'd pull for good.

here's why: you found a provier that your child is attached to, and now this provider is asking you to take your child to some other person s/he doesn't know. s/he may get attached to that other person (say you have to use someone else for 4-6 months, for example), and then you are dragging the kiddo out and returning to your previous provider.
honestly, as a child, would you like that being done to you?

so, yeah, I'd just leave.

[Blackcat31]

um, I'd pull for good.

here's why: you found a provier that your child is attached to, and now this provider is asking you to take your child to some other person s/he doesn't know. s/he may get attached to that other person (say you have to use someone else for 4-6 months, for example), and then you are dragging the kiddo out and returning to your previous provider.
honestly, as a child, would you like that being done to you?

so, yeah, I'd just leave.

Without talking to the provider?

I think there is ONLY one side of the story being presented here and we (readers) have NO idea how many details have been left out, misinterpreted, altered or just presented from the parent's perspectives...... that I HIGHLY doubt we are privvy to the WHOLE truth.

I advised communication with the provider and I still think that is the right thing to do. We, as providers push open communication so I think it's vital in this situation.

The OP's kid might be a really tough kid to manage, the OP may not be the best payer and pay inconsistently or she may drop her kid off with a dripping snot nose regularly......who knows why the provider is doing what she's doing but the best and easiest way to find out is to COMMUNICATE with her. (I'm not yelling )

[mommyneedsadayoff]

My child's daycare provider asked to see if I could have someone else watch her. The reason being she had a new baby coming to daycare and she would be over the limit because of the age limits. It would be for a few months;until one of the other kids has a birthday. Is this normal practice?

I would just talk to her about it too. Did she ask to see if you can find other arrangements or did she tell you to find other arrangments? The difference being that she may have thought you had more options than the other family so she might be just checking to see if it is possible, not necessarily kicking you to the curb, kwim? Just email her and ask