So Frustrated...Eating Issues

[morgan24]

Meals should be 100% stress free for kids. (same for potty time )

Set the timer, put the plate down, busy yourself with naptime prep and let them chose to eat or not. When time is up, off to the potty/handwashing station they go. No fuss, no muss. Consistently.

Personally, I serve one food group at a time, family style, to encourage them to eat more veggies. Veggies first, while they are at their hungriest works like a charm for me. Water with food. Milk last so they don't fill up on it.

During the toddler-preschool phase their growth and development slows significantly from the rapid phase of infancy, taking with it their appetites. They simply do not need as much food, the serving sizes necessary for healthy growth are very small.

I have the same twins only they are a boy and girl. The boy will not eat anything I think my dcb is holding out because his dcm brings cheez-its and juice for the 5 minute ride home everyday. When you serve the veggie first what if they don't eat it? My dcb would just sit there and not even try it. Right now I give them all a small portion of everything to start, he will say he doesn't want to eat so I send him in to go potty and then he lays down.

Would you start with the veggie and set the timer and if he doesn't eat it, let him get down and go potty and to nap?

[lovemykidstoo]

Years ago I had a DCK just like yours. He ate nothing. I think he was here for almost 2 years before Grandma moved to town and took over care duties.

This little guy ate nothing. Seriously not one single thing while he was here. He was here from 8-5 Monday through Friday. He wouldn't eat a taste, a nibble, nothing. zero. He wouldn't even drink water or milk.

His parents knew they had unhealthy eating habits and junk food or fast food for meals and snacks and had all sorts of good intentions about changing how they ate once they seen that their son was lacking in good eating habits but nothing ever changed.

I spent countless hours trying to bribe, reward lure and coax him into eating something. anything. I mean at this point I would have felt successful ahd he eaten crayons...kwim? But he never ate anything I served. Not even pizza. :confused:

I finally just gave up. I made lunch and snack every day and simply served. He sat quietly with the other kids but never lifted his utensils. He just sat and watched the others eating.

Every day at pick up I would tell his parent that he didn't eat a single crumb of anything. So of course, to the "Golden Arches" they went

In the end I realized that there was NOTHING I could do that I hadn't already done so I wasn't going to stress about it.

Kids are funny, Make your meals, serve them and leave it at that. If she isn't going to eat with your positive support and encouragement, she isn't going to eat so stop stressing. That is mom and dad's job.

You guys are right, I have to throw in the white flag. I have started to serve her less. Why throw everythiing away. I hate throwing a full lunch down the drain. I give her 1/2 of what I used to and if she eats and wants more, I gladly give her more. I have to stop worrying about it. It's just that she's so tiny and I worry about her. Does anyone think this is anyway related to autism the way she instantly cries when she sees the plate or do you think she's just being a stinker?

[Cat Herder]

When you serve the veggie first what if they don't eat it? My dcb would just sit there and not even try it.

Would you start with the veggie and set the timer and if he doesn't eat it, let him get down and go potty and to nap?

No. I am legally required to offer a complete meal. I just do it slowly to allow them time to eat some of each component. I also use the "My Plate" charts to educate the parents.

If I give them the plates completely made they will inevitably eat the fruit, grain, chug the milk and be done.

I serve the veggies, walk back into the kitchen slowly, grab the serving bowl of protein and return very slowly to serve next round. I follow the same pattern, every time. Water. Veggies. Proteins. Fruits. Grain. Milk.

It takes a bit longer, but I have great success with it.

[morgan24]

No. I am legally required to offer a complete meal. I just do it slowly to allow them time to eat some of each component. I also use the "My Plate" charts to educate the parents.

If I give them the plates completely made they will inevitably eat the fruit, grain, chug the milk and be done.

I serve the veggies, walk back into the kitchen slowly, grab the serving bowl of protein and return very slowly to serve next round. I follow the same pattern, every time. Water. Veggies. Proteins. Fruits. Grain. Milk.

It takes a bit longer, but I have great success with it.

Thanks for the explanation. I'm going to try that.

[clep]

I have had this issue with many, many children when the first came to me. I put a very small amount of food on their plate, something I KNOW they can eat unless they are sick. I serve all the food at once. They are required to eat ALL of what is on their plate. I will literally start out with three tablespoons. Any child can eat that.

If they don't eat it I just provide that at the next meal. If it goes on consistently, I just provide something that isn't the one child's favorite at morning snack, and lunch that is their favorite. Pretty quickly they are eating their snacks and lunch.

I ignore children that aren't eating. Children that are eating receive LOTS of positive praise and encouragement. I often go sit beside the best eater to share the spot with them.

I don't have any poor eaters here. I used to have a child that was fed with a tube when he first came because he refused to eat. He was in my care for two years and became a fantastic eater. He was always tube fed at home unless it was cookies or chocolate milk.

[LK5kids]

I had a boy like this years ago. His mom warned me when he started that he probably wouldn't eat anything until he got home. I thought, "Oh, right. He won't eat anything all day." I thought he'd at least eat snacks, which I would have let him eat. I would have been happy if he had ate some cheese and crackers/juice. Well, she was right. NOTHING except a tiny nibble of a snack once in a great while.

He would only eat meat as in roasts, steaks, pork chops etc. I didn't serve those kinds of meals. He wouldn't touch typical kid food like Mac 'n cheese, pizza, spaghetti, etc. He wouldn't touch most snacks either. He drank a little milk at meals. That's it. He just sat there. I served him the same meal (tho I did give him a little less). I never said a word to him except at snack time once in awhile, like are you sure you don't want those grammy bears?

He was never coaxed to eat by me or made to get down and get ready for nap. He just sat there. But he didn't sit there and cry, which would have been different. I would have had to have him leave the table or at least I would have pushed his plate away, so it didn't cause such a melt down. It just was a non-issue even tho it did seem odd to me. His mom always said he'd go home and eat supper fine. One thing was he was not tiny and frail, I didn't have those worries. He was average weight. Not thin at all. I knew he was at least eating at night and it wasn't Lucky Charms.

[Chipmunk]

Books can help, too.

The Very Hungry Caterpillar talks about junk food making you feel yucky and good food helping you grow.

Bread and Jam for Frances talks about trying new foods - and REALLY helped my super-picky DD around that age.

I Will Never Not Ever Eat a Tomato (Charlie and Lola) by Lauren Child is great and VERY funny!

[lovemykidstoo]

Well an update to this thread is the 3 yr old dcg is eating slightly better. She hasn't cried at lunchtime in quite awhile which is good. Now, I have a dcb that turned 3 and boy does he act like it. Whoever said that 2's were bad were so wrong, it's the 3's! Now when he comes in the morning I can hear him coming because he's hysterical. This week I don't even let mom come in the house, I just take him at the door. I tried consoling, having him lay down, distracting him with his fave toys etc. Not working. So, yesterday, I brought him in, gave him only the good morning, glad to see you talk and then left him to play. He stood in the middle of the room crying for a straight 15 minutes. He's feeding off the attention I think, so I figured I tried everything else and it didn't work I would try the straight up ignore routine. We'll see how he does today. Well, this same boy has decided that he no longer likes any of the same foods he ate 2 weeks ago here. He sat there yesterday and didnt' even touch his plate. AFter everyone was done, I asked him if he was done. He looked at me like he was waiting for me to say something about how he didnt' eat anything. Nope, just turned around and threw the plate in the garbage. He looked bummed that I didn't say anything. Kinda made me chuckle inside.

[mamac]

Years ago I had a DCK just like yours. He ate nothing. I think he was here for almost 2 years before Grandma moved to town and took over care duties.

This little guy ate nothing. Seriously not one single thing while he was here. He was here from 8-5 Monday through Friday. He wouldn't eat a taste, a nibble, nothing. zero. He wouldn't even drink water or milk.

His parents knew they had unhealthy eating habits and junk food or fast food for meals and snacks and had all sorts of good intentions about changing how they ate once they seen that their son was lacking in good eating habits but nothing ever changed.

I spent countless hours trying to bribe, reward lure and coax him into eating something. anything. I mean at this point I would have felt successful ahd he eaten crayons...kwim? But he never ate anything I served. Not even pizza. :confused:

I finally just gave up. I made lunch and snack every day and simply served. He sat quietly with the other kids but never lifted his utensils. He just sat and watched the others eating.

Every day at pick up I would tell his parent that he didn't eat a single crumb of anything. So of course, to the "Golden Arches" they went

In the end I realized that there was NOTHING I could do that I hadn't already done so I wasn't going to stress about it.

Kids are funny, Make your meals, serve them and leave it at that. If she isn't going to eat with your positive support and encouragement, she isn't going to eat so stop stressing. That is mom and dad's job.

Holy cow!! You just described my ds exactly! Although he was at one DC where he went from eating seconds to eating absolutely nothing at another DC. He wouldn't fight or argue. He would just sit quietly until everyone else was finished. I think he was being extremely stubborn because he was now in a DC where he wasn't allowed to do whatever he wanted and the new place actually had rules to follow. I'm not even sure how the first DC got him to eat because I can't even do it. ???

His dr recommended Pediasure and Carnation breakfasts just for the calories, but after a few weeks of that he refuses to touch them now. He has always had eating issues as an infant. (preemie) He spit up more than he ate so he went thru every type of formula, reflux meds, you name it. I think that's why he probably has no interest in eating anything or trying new foods right now. I am hoping that he will eventually outgrow this.

[kimmills]

If the kids don't eat don't pressurize them. Tell them to it what is served or go hungry. This way they will have to eat what is served to relieve their hunger.

[AmyKidsCo]

The thing is, you can't make a child eat. Our job is to offer nutritious meals; it's the children's job to decide what and how much to eat. And the bigger power struggle it becomes the more the child will fight to "win" - especially if they're strong-willed. I agree with what others have said: Offer the food, let them choose what to eat and how much, when meals are over they're done. I do encourage my children to take a "practice bite" but never force them to. Usually if one or two children are enjoying the food the rest will at least try it.

Good luck!

[kelliott]

Serve it and be in a good mood. Do not force them to eat. Let them make their own decision. You only control what's on the plate. They control if it goes in their mouth.

Let them be hungry at snack time. Serve their lunch plate again at snack time. If they don't eat it then, they will be hungry when they go home.

You can't control what their parents do. Unfortunately.

completely agree!.. my son, who will be 3 in June weighs 27lbs..my friends son, who just turned one in Janurary weighs 33lbs!.. i've talked to my sons doctor about it-trying to make sure it's not something i need to worry about..she told me the worst thing you could do is try and FORCE a child to eat.. my son is what they call a "grazer"..he'll take a bite..leave..then come back and take a couple more... as long as thier cheeks aren't boney and their tummy is distended..they're healthy

make your daycare kids their meals..if they don't eat it right away, leave it on the table available for them to take a bite if they get hungry.. i wouldn't conform to giving them what they want and when..the real world doesn't work like that when ur an adult..so daycare sure as heck shouldn't work like that when you're young!

[NeedaVaca]

completely agree!.. my son, who will be 3 in June weighs 27lbs..my friends son, who just turned one in Janurary weighs 33lbs!.. i've talked to my sons doctor about it-trying to make sure it's not something i need to worry about..she told me the worst thing you could do is try and FORCE a child to eat.. my son is what they call a "grazer"..he'll take a bite..leave..then come back and take a couple more... as long as thier cheeks aren't boney and their tummy is distended..they're healthy

make your daycare kids their meals..if they don't eat it right away, leave it on the table available for them to take a bite if they get hungry.. i wouldn't conform to giving them what they want and when..the real world doesn't work like that when ur an adult..so daycare sure as heck shouldn't work like that when you're young!

This would not happen in my daycare. They are served at snack time, when snack time is over plates are cleared. Same thing with lunch, when lunch is over plates are cleared. I would NOT leave food on the table so kids can just go eat when they feel like it. They eat when it's time to eat

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

This would not happen in my daycare. They are served at snack time, when snack time is over plates are cleared. Same thing with lunch, when lunch is over plates are cleared. I would NOT leave food on the table so kids can just go eat when they feel like it. They eat when it's time to eat

Same here. Leaving it out for longer than the allotted time would be breaking food program rules and licensing guidelines.

[kelliott]

perhaps i should clarify... i don't mean make them a morning snack and leave it there 'til the end of the day when the child goes home.. i just meant to leave it on the table for them to eat...(don't baby them and spoon feed them to get the food in their bellies) leave it in front of the for the "snack time" period but absolutely clean it up when everyone else is finished..soon they will understand that THEY will have to conform to the way you run things.. they will learn that if they don't want to go hungry, they need to eat what and when everyone else is eating