So Frustrated...Eating Issues

[lovemykidstoo]

I have 3 year old twin girls that I take care of. Sweetest girls in the world, but the eating habits are terrible. Seems like no matter what I make, the one little girl looks at it and cries and then if I have her take a bite, she spits it up/throws up on the table. I serve a wide range of foods. If she could eat chicken nuggets everyday, she would. The other twin used to eat good and now she's picking up on this display and she's acting the same way. I guess it's the same at home, except that they will give them cereal at dinner if they don't eat what is served. I was so frustrated today that I had them leave the table. I have 6 kids today and I am not making special lunches for each of them. Any suggestions?

[itlw8]

You cook it.. and serve it They eat or go hungry.... You might suggest to the parents as long as they serve them cereal instead of dinner it will continue... Hopefully it is not a sugar cereal...

[lovemykidstoo]

You cook it.. and serve it They eat or go hungry.... You might suggest to the parents as long as they serve them cereal instead of dinner it will continue... Hopefully it is not a sugar cereal...

Oh it is from what they tell me.

[grandmom]

Serve it and be in a good mood. Do not force them to eat. Let them make their own decision. You only control what's on the plate. They control if it goes in their mouth.

Let them be hungry at snack time. Serve their lunch plate again at snack time. If they don't eat it then, they will be hungry when they go home.

You can't control what their parents do. Unfortunately.

[kristine]

Here are some useful tips for you to make your kids eat:

1. Make a schedule. Children need to eat every three to four hours: three meals, two snacks, and lots of fluids. If you plan for these, your child's diet will be much more balanced and he'll be less cranky, because he won't be famished. I put a cooler in the car when I'm out with my kids and keep it stocked with carrots, pretzels, yogurt, and water so we don't have to rely on fast food.
2. Plan dinners. If thinking about a weekly menu is too daunting, start with two or three days at a time. A good dinner doesn't have to be fancy, but it should be balanced: whole-grain bread, rice, or pasta; a fruit or a vegetable; and a protein source like lean meat, cheese, or beans. I often make simple entree soups or Mexican chili ahead of time and then freeze it; at dinnertime, I heat it up and add whole-grain bread and a bowl of cut-up apples or melon to round out the meal.
3. Don't become a short-order cook. A few years ago, I got into a bad habit. I'd make two suppers -- one that I knew the kids would like and one for my husband and me. It was exhausting. Now I prepare one meal for everybody and serve it family-style so the kids can pick and choose what they want. Children often mimic their parents' behavior, so one of these days, they'll eat most of the food I serve them.
4. Bite your tongue. As hard as this may be, try not to comment on what or how much your kids are eating. Be as neutral as possible. Remember, you've done your job as a parent by serving balanced meals; your kids are responsible for eating them. If you play food enforcer -- saying things like "Eat your vegetables" -- your child will only resist.
5. Introduce new foods slowly. Children are new-food-phobic by nature. I tell my kids that their taste buds sometimes have to get used to a flavor before they'll like the taste. A little hero worship can work wonders too. Marty refused to even try peas until I told him that Michael Jordan eats his to stay big and strong. Now Marty eats peas all the time.
6. Dip it. If your kids won't eat vegetables, experiment with dips. Kathleen tried her first vegetable when I served her a thinly cut carrot with some ranch salad dressing. My children also like hummus, salsa, and yogurt-based dressing.
7. Make mornings count. Most families don't eat enough fiber on a daily basis, and breakfast is an easy place to sneak it in. Look for high-fiber cereals for a quick fix. Or, do what I do and make up batches of whole-grain pancake and waffle batter that last all week. For a batch that serves five, sift together 2 cups whole-wheat pastry flour, 4 tsp. baking powder, 1/2 tsp. salt, and 2 Tbs. sugar. When you're ready to cook, mix in 2 Tbs. ground flax meal, 2 cups water, 3 Tbs. canola oil, 1/4 tsp. vanilla, and 2 Tbs. applesauce.
8. Sneak in soy. Even if your kids don't have milk allergies, soy milk is a terrific source of healthy phytochemicals. My kids don't like soy milk but don't notice when it's hidden in a recipe. I use the low-fat, calcium-fortified kind in some recipes that call for milk, such as oatmeal, mashed potatoes, and sauces.
9. Sprinkle some sugar. Julia eats her cooked carrots with a bit of brown sugar, and I mix a little root beer into her prune juice to make prune-juice soda. Kathleen and Marty like a sprinkle of sugar on their fruit. I know that they'll eventually outgrow this need for extra sweetness, but in the meantime, they're eating fruits and vegetables.
10. Get kids cooking. If your children become involved in choosing or preparing meals, they'll be more interested in eating what they've created. Take them to the store, and let them choose produce for you. If they're old enough, allow them to cut up vegetables and mix them into a salad. Although Julia refuses to eat fresh fruit, she and I make banana or apple muffins together -- and she always eats them once they're done.
11. Cut back on junk. Remember, you -- not your kids -- are in charge of the foods that enter the house. By having fewer junk foods around, you'll force your children to eat more fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and dairy products.
12. Allow treats. Having less healthy foods occasionally keeps them from becoming forbidden -- and thus even more appealing. We call candy, soda, and cookies "sometimes" foods. I generally buy only healthy cereals such as Cheerios and Raisin Bran, but I let my kids have sugary cereals when they visit their grandparents or when we're on vacation. And I treat them to McDonald's for lunch every so often.
13. Have fun. The more creative the meal is, the greater the variety of foods my kids eat. We make smiley-face pancakes and give foods silly names. (Broccoli florets are "baby trees" or "dinosaur food.") Anything mini is always a hit too. I often use cookie cutters to turn toast into hearts and stars, which the children love.
14. Be a role model. If you're constantly on a diet or have erratic eating habits, your children will grow up thinking that this sort of behavior is normal. Be honest with yourself about the kinds of food messages you're sending. Trust your body to tell you when you're hungry and when you're full, and your kids will learn to do the same.
15. Adjust your attitude. Realize that what your kids eat over time is what matters. Having popcorn at the movies or eating an ice-cream sundae are some of life's real pleasures. As long as you balance these times with smart food choices and physical activity, your children will be fine.

[Michael]

Here are some useful tips for you to make your kids eat:

1. Make a schedule. Children need to eat every three to four hours: three meals, two snacks, and lots of fluids. If you plan for these, your child's diet will be much more balanced and he'll be less cranky, because he won't be famished. I put a cooler in the car when I'm out with my kids and keep it stocked with carrots, pretzels, yogurt, and water so we don't have to rely on fast food.
2. Plan dinners. If thinking about a weekly menu is too daunting, start with two or three days at a time. A good dinner doesn't have to be fancy, but it should be balanced: whole-grain bread, rice, or pasta; a fruit or a vegetable; and a protein source like lean meat, cheese, or beans. I often make simple entree soups or Mexican chili ahead of time and then freeze it; at dinnertime, I heat it up and add whole-grain bread and a bowl of cut-up apples or melon to round out the meal.
3. Don't become a short-order cook. A few years ago, I got into a bad habit. I'd make two suppers -- one that I knew the kids would like and one for my husband and me. It was exhausting. Now I prepare one meal for everybody and serve it family-style so the kids can pick and choose what they want. Children often mimic their parents' behavior, so one of these days, they'll eat most of the food I serve them.
4. Bite your tongue. As hard as this may be, try not to comment on what or how much your kids are eating. Be as neutral as possible. Remember, you've done your job as a parent by serving balanced meals; your kids are responsible for eating them. If you play food enforcer -- saying things like "Eat your vegetables" -- your child will only resist.
5. Introduce new foods slowly. Children are new-food-phobic by nature. I tell my kids that their taste buds sometimes have to get used to a flavor before they'll like the taste. A little hero worship can work wonders too. Marty refused to even try peas until I told him that Michael Jordan eats his to stay big and strong. Now Marty eats peas all the time.
6. Dip it. If your kids won't eat vegetables, experiment with dips. Kathleen tried her first vegetable when I served her a thinly cut carrot with some ranch salad dressing. My children also like hummus, salsa, and yogurt-based dressing.
7. Make mornings count. Most families don't eat enough fiber on a daily basis, and breakfast is an easy place to sneak it in. Look for high-fiber cereals for a quick fix. Or, do what I do and make up batches of whole-grain pancake and waffle batter that last all week. For a batch that serves five, sift together 2 cups whole-wheat pastry flour, 4 tsp. baking powder, 1/2 tsp. salt, and 2 Tbs. sugar. When you're ready to cook, mix in 2 Tbs. ground flax meal, 2 cups water, 3 Tbs. canola oil, 1/4 tsp. vanilla, and 2 Tbs. applesauce.
8. Sneak in soy. Even if your kids don't have milk allergies, soy milk is a terrific source of healthy phytochemicals. My kids don't like soy milk but don't notice when it's hidden in a recipe. I use the low-fat, calcium-fortified kind in some recipes that call for milk, such as oatmeal, mashed potatoes, and sauces.
9. Sprinkle some sugar. Julia eats her cooked carrots with a bit of brown sugar, and I mix a little root beer into her prune juice to make prune-juice soda. Kathleen and Marty like a sprinkle of sugar on their fruit. I know that they'll eventually outgrow this need for extra sweetness, but in the meantime, they're eating fruits and vegetables.
10. Get kids cooking. If your children become involved in choosing or preparing meals, they'll be more interested in eating what they've created. Take them to the store, and let them choose produce for you. If they're old enough, allow them to cut up vegetables and mix them into a salad. Although Julia refuses to eat fresh fruit, she and I make banana or apple muffins together -- and she always eats them once they're done.
11. Cut back on junk. Remember, you -- not your kids -- are in charge of the foods that enter the house. By having fewer junk foods around, you'll force your children to eat more fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and dairy products.
12. Allow treats. Having less healthy foods occasionally keeps them from becoming forbidden -- and thus even more appealing. We call candy, soda, and cookies "sometimes" foods. I generally buy only healthy cereals such as Cheerios and Raisin Bran, but I let my kids have sugary cereals when they visit their grandparents or when we're on vacation. And I treat them to McDonald's for lunch every so often.
13. Have fun. The more creative the meal is, the greater the variety of foods my kids eat. We make smiley-face pancakes and give foods silly names. (Broccoli florets are "baby trees" or "dinosaur food.") Anything mini is always a hit too. I often use cookie cutters to turn toast into hearts and stars, which the children love.
14. Be a role model. If you're constantly on a diet or have erratic eating habits, your children will grow up thinking that this sort of behavior is normal. Be honest with yourself about the kinds of food messages you're sending. Trust your body to tell you when you're hungry and when you're full, and your kids will learn to do the same.
15. Adjust your attitude. Realize that what your kids eat over time is what matters. Having popcorn at the movies or eating an ice-cream sundae are some of life's real pleasures. As long as you balance these times with smart food choices and physical activity, your children will be fine.

If you are going to copy information from the web you should reference where it came from: http://www.parents.com/kids/nutritio...to-eat-better/

[Cat Herder]

Meals should be 100% stress free for kids. (same for potty time )

Set the timer, put the plate down, busy yourself with naptime prep and let them chose to eat or not. When time is up, off to the potty/handwashing station they go. No fuss, no muss. Consistently.

Personally, I serve one food group at a time, family style, to encourage them to eat more veggies. Veggies first, while they are at their hungriest works like a charm for me. Water with food. Milk last so they don't fill up on it.

During the toddler-preschool phase their growth and development slows significantly from the rapid phase of infancy, taking with it their appetites. They simply do not need as much food, the serving sizes necessary for healthy growth are very small.

[lovemykidstoo]

If this was something new I wouldn't be so concerned and frustrated with it. It's been going on over a year. She is very very small and does not look healthy at all. She seriously will bust out crying as soon as I put the plate down. I understand that kids go through stages, my son did the same thing, but this is an ongoing issue both here and at home. The difference here is that I'm not going to make her a separate lunch than the other kids. I will try what you all have suggested though, I'll make the lunch, put it down and not say another word about it.

[Cat Herder]

After a week or two of the stress free pattern she will probably stop the crying.

Once you get there it will be much easier to assess for texture issues, sensory issues, food allergies, lactose intolerance issues, transition issues etc. Look for patterns, as I am sure you know.

IMHO, Once they are in the anxiety mode it is impossible to tell what has set them off for sure.

[lovemykidstoo]

I actually have tried just ignoring it and that really hasn't helped either, she still doesn't eat. It's not as if I yell at her or anything. I did have them leave the table the other day because it was naptime right after lunch and I told both of them that if they weren't going to eat then they could just go to the bathroom and hop in bed. I know that sometimes they feed off of us if we're upset, so I'm always very careful not to let her know that I'm frustrated with her. I think if I did like mom and dad and put a bowl of lucky charms in front of her she would chow down.

[Cat Herder]

It's not as if I yell at her or anything. .

FWIW, I was not trying to imply that. I was not even thinking that.

I was giving you the best advice (with a few personal tweeks) I got from my ridiculously expensive, out of pocket, training on food issues in daycare. I tried them and they actually worked well for me. That is all. lovethis

The key, for us, is not to worry about how much they eat as in years past. We used to have to write down everything they ate and then qualify the "reason" why they ate little with parents every day. (I know you know this I am clarifying for future readers and parents following google searches, btw )

By also not giving "treat foods" at snacks eventually they will make better choices. Natural consequence is being hungry. Kids are not born preferring junk food, they are taught by good intentioned adults. ::

You can sneak in a pediasure or two during the day to ease your mind, though. I do with my underweight kiddos.

[lovemykidstoo]

FWIW, I was not trying to imply that. I was not even thinking that.

I was giving you the best advice (with a few personal tweeks) I got from my ridiculously expensive, out of pocket, training on food issues in daycare. I tried them and they actually worked well for me. That is all. lovethis

The key, for us, is not to worry about how much they eat as in years past. We used to have to write down everything they ate and then qualify the "reason" why they ate little with parents every day. (I know you know this I am clarifying for future readers and parents following google searches, btw )

By also not giving "treat foods" at snacks eventually they will make better choices. Natural consequence is being hungry. Kids are not born preferring junk food, they are taught by good intentioned adults. ::

You can sneak in a pediasure or two during the day to ease your mind, though. I do with my underweight kiddos.

Oh No, I know you're not telling me that. I sincerely appreciate your advice. I just wanted others to know that I am not yelling at her. Well, maybe on the inside I am LOL. You know how kids are though and they can still sense if we're upset with them. So, I will take your advice and change my perspective. Maybe if I dont' even feel the frustration inside, she won't get that vibe from me either. I really do appreciate your tips!

[Cat Herder]

:::: I know! Changing the perspective is hard!!

Buying good quality food, spending time preparing it, agonizing over menus, worrying about rising food costs, knowing that proper mental development relies on proper nutrition, having 75% of our rules and regs focused on meals THEN watching it go into the trash can can make you NUTS. OK, so it used to make me nuts. ::::::

Sadly, we just have to let go of all that and be patient.

The good news is that after a while of not giving in with treat foods the kids do start eating. Now to get Moms and Dads on board and this whole topic would go away. Oh, but to dream.

[lovemykidstoo]

:::: I know! Changing the perspective is hard!!

Buying good quality food, spending time preparing it, agonizing over menus, worrying about rising food costs, knowing that proper mental development relies on proper nutrition, having 75% of our rules and regs focused on meals THEN watching it go into the trash can can make you NUTS. OK, so it used to make me nuts. ::::::

Sadly, we just have to let go of all that and be patient.

The good news is that after a while of not giving in with treat foods the kids do start eating. Now to get Moms and Dads on board and this whole topic would go away. Oh, but to dream.

Oh mom and dad are definately not on board. They get frustrated too, but immediately give her cereal when she doesn't eat. I give up on that. My son tried this for a very short time when he was 2 or 3 and what we did was wrap up his dinner and then at 9:00 when he was saying he was hungry, guess what he got. That took about a week and he started eating his din din again!

[Blackcat31]

Years ago I had a DCK just like yours. He ate nothing. I think he was here for almost 2 years before Grandma moved to town and took over care duties.

This little guy ate nothing. Seriously not one single thing while he was here. He was here from 8-5 Monday through Friday. He wouldn't eat a taste, a nibble, nothing. zero. He wouldn't even drink water or milk.

His parents knew they had unhealthy eating habits and junk food or fast food for meals and snacks and had all sorts of good intentions about changing how they ate once they seen that their son was lacking in good eating habits but nothing ever changed.

I spent countless hours trying to bribe, reward lure and coax him into eating something. anything. I mean at this point I would have felt successful ahd he eaten crayons...kwim? But he never ate anything I served. Not even pizza. :confused:

I finally just gave up. I made lunch and snack every day and simply served. He sat quietly with the other kids but never lifted his utensils. He just sat and watched the others eating.

Every day at pick up I would tell his parent that he didn't eat a single crumb of anything. So of course, to the "Golden Arches" they went

In the end I realized that there was NOTHING I could do that I hadn't already done so I wasn't going to stress about it.

Kids are funny, Make your meals, serve them and leave it at that. If she isn't going to eat with your positive support and encouragement, she isn't going to eat so stop stressing. That is mom and dad's job.