Mental Health And Daycare Providers

[Unregistered]

Update

I wanted to give an update because the story unfolded yesterday. After almost a month of no contact I sent a text asking for her tax ID to file taxes. She replied back stating she would give it to me in April and that she had only watched my daughter 11 occasions, which was false. My daughter went for 51 weeks. Turns out, she was denying that I had paid her( mostly in cash and then some by check) or watched my daughter so that she did not have to claim her income on taxes. When I figured out what she was doing I asked her to not contact me again. But, she kept sending texts! I asked 3 times for her to leave me alone. I ended up calling the police because it was not stopping and I was not responding to her. Police attempted to call her multiple times and left messages and went to her home, where she refused to open the door. The calls to me continued. The police went a second time to the home, where she again refused to answer. They felt she was acting impaired, they forced entry, she was intoxicated and watching 2 toddlers. She was arrested and department of child services were called. I wish I was making this all up! But my instincts paid off! Thanks for the support all! It makes me scared to take my child anywhere now... You never really know someone.

[[email protected]]

omg i can't believe it, you are so lucky you pulled your child. I have never heard of something so disturbing. Well I have but, this one is bad too. So happy for you that your child is safe.

[Unregistered]

I agree with the other poster that it is not fair to judge a childcare provider on a mental disorder. In this situation if the provider was hospitalized due to her mental disorder I agree that (OP) you should go ahead and look for another daycare. I would still honor your contractual agreement however and pay what you are expected to pay.

I am a excellent childcare provider and I suffer from a generalized anxiety disorder as well as panic disorder. For anyone that is unaware of panic disorder, I can have panic attacks if my anxiety levels are really high. My anxiety levels will raise with the stress levels I am under. I also have a history of developing agoraphobia, which is a fear of specific situations in which I have a panic attack in. For example, I am uncomfortable driving because I have had panic attacks while driving before, this causes me to avoid driving.

I have dealt with all three mental disorders my entire life. In the past I was medicated for these mental disorders because I was unable to “deal” with them or rather get through them without the aid of medication. Today, I am 5 years medication free. I took a cognitive behavioral therapy course and am able to not only understand my disorders in a way that makes them less life impacting but I can get through the physical feelings of anxiety and panic without taking it to a mental state. This means that I will still have the physical feelings of a panic attack such as a racing heart but I do not go into the fight or flight reaction and am able to stay calm and collected while having an attack. I also know my triggers (such as stress) and have excellent coping skills to keep those triggers from causing an attack for me.

Most of my friends are entirely unaware that I have this disease, it does not cause any problems with my parenting or my daycare. Even my husband forgets sometimes that I have this disease as it’s very rarely that I will ever complain, “gee my anxiety levels or high today.” I also very rarely experience a panic attack due to the fact that I am able to properly manage my anxiety levels.
Now if you were a potential client that came to my daycare and I told you all of this information prior to you signing on with me, very few of you if any would choose me as your childcare provider. It is VERY SAD that people that are plagued with these diseases have to “hide away” in fear of being ridiculed and judged solely on the disease.

OP it might give you a different perspective to know that some antidepressants can cause psychosis and insomnia. It may not be that your childcare provider was unstable because of her mental disorder, but rather she experience a side effect from the medication prescribed to her. I know this wouldn’t make you decide to keep your child in her care, but I thought you should understand a bit more so as not to be so judgmental and harsh towards the provider, if you have been.

[Unregistered]

I posted about the anxiety/panic/agoraphobia prior to reading the OP’s update. I very strongly hope that something is being done to ensure that this individual is unable to watch children again until they have proven that their mental disorder is at a point where it doesn’t impact their daily life. The provider was likely intoxicated due to “self medicating” and if the provider is in a state where she is so mentally unstable that she has chosen to self medicate while in charge of other children, she should not be watching other children at all. Some people will get help with mental disorder, some people want to be “fixed”, so to speak, and then there are some people that feel they are “so far gone” that there is no hope and will just stay plagued under a mental disorder and let it “run” and ruin their lives. The story of this specific provider is very unfortunate.

[Daycaremomof2]

Follow the contract. That woman cared for your child for over a year. She deserves it- it is sad that she is not ill, that is something that she cannot help. Do the right thing

I would definitely pull your child from her care, however.

[Daycaremomof2]

Sad that she IS ill, I meant to say.

[Cat Herder]

I wanted to give an update because the story unfolded yesterday. After almost a month of no contact I sent a text asking for her tax ID to file taxes. She replied back stating she would give it to me in April and that she had only watched my daughter 11 occasions, which was false. My daughter went for 51 weeks. Turns out, she was denying that I had paid her( mostly in cash and then some by check) or watched my daughter so that she did not have to claim her income on taxes. When I figured out what she was doing I asked her to not contact me again. But, she kept sending texts! I asked 3 times for her to leave me alone. I ended up calling the police because it was not stopping and I was not responding to her. Police attempted to call her multiple times and left messages and went to her home, where she refused to open the door. The calls to me continued. The police went a second time to the home, where she again refused to answer. They felt she was acting impaired, they forced entry, she was intoxicated and watching 2 toddlers. She was arrested and department of child services were called. I wish I was making this all up! But my instincts paid off! Thanks for the support all! It makes me scared to take my child anywhere now... You never really know someone.

WOW

I am glad you got out of there... Parents should pay attention to how the provider behaves. We are human, too, and can give in to depression/alcoholism/burnout like anyone else. I am glad you did...

Please don't think we are all like that.

I'd advise all parents to take some time, check some word of mouth references from people you know (not written), get to know your provider (my clients bring chocolate if I don't talk their ears off about the funny/obnoxious things the kids did today They would notice INSTANTLY if I was not talkative, energetic and affectionate with the kids), pay attention to the home environment, sometimes places with fewer "perks" have the happiest kids... Don't fear us all..

Also, Just because someone has all the bells and whistles does not make them stable and fit to care for kids... IMHO, Sometimes it is just what they HAVE to do until their ship comes in and they resent it.

[JenNJ]

Follow the contract. That woman cared for your child for over a year. She deserves it- it is sad that she is not ill, that is something that she cannot help. Do the right thing

I would definitely pull your child from her care, however.

You should really read the whole thread and revise this post...

[JenNJ]

OP, I am so very glad you followed your mama instincts and your child did not remain in her care.

[cheerfuldom]

oh goodness! I hope this woman gets help and that no parents trust her with their kids. I would imagine that the two toddlers mentioned where families that stayed with her after the first episode. Now that there are numerous documented proofs that she was clearly impaired and unfit to care for kids, I can definitely agree that her contract would not hold up in court. I am assuming OP that you never paid her anything further since the first post? Is there anything you can do to still claim taxes?