Mental Health And Daycare Providers

[Unregistered]

My daycare provider of 1 1/2 years called one morning to tell me she wasn't able to watch kids that day. When I was unable to reach her for a day and a half I went to her husbands work and was informed she was having stress related issues and in the hospital. When she contacted me after 3 days she informed she she had not slept for 3 days and was experiencing psychosis and was under alot if stress, but she was better now. I politely informed her my daughter would not be returning. I asked for a refund of the last week since I had to pay someone else for daycare And she did not notify me that she wasn't watching children the rest of that week, she refused and stated my contract states she gets a paid vacation and ibhave to give her a 2 week notice and suggested I bring my daughter back and would get a week unpaid to make up for the difference. However, in this case I am VERY concerned for my child and others children as she is clearly not mentally healthy. Over the past 1 1/2 years I have noticed alot of memory difficulties and possibly early signs of dementia and have always vowed to discontinue my service with her if anything serious happened. Was I in the right? And should i expect to get a refund? I have been a food parent and the other 3 parents have only been with her for less than a few months and all decided to stay.

[Kaddidle Care]

It is very difficult to determine if a caregiver is stable or medicated and unfortunately you just have to go with your gut.

I have a very close friend that babysat my child once for me. I later found out that she is HEAVILY medicated for OCD, Depression and Anxiety. When her meds are on, she's fine, happy, a tad ditsy but a wonderful person. When her meds are off, she's a nightmare. We continue to be friends but I will not leave her in charge of my child again.

You said:"Over the past 1 1/2 years I have noticed alot of memory difficulties and possibly early signs of dementia"

That was your sign to start looking elsewhere. The memory difficulties and possible dementia may be in part due to lack of sleep. I personally would be wary of any home daycare provider that is open more than 10 hours a day. Childcare is exhausting. I am on the older spectrum of the ladies here and the most I work in a center is 5 hours at a time. Sometimes I go home and take a wee nap before my own child comes home from school.

While I don't blame you for pulling your child, if you have a contract and are obligated to pay 2 weeks from termination, then you should do so. You also have to consider that this person took care of your child for 1 1/2 years and you are dumping her now that she is sick. This is her income and if you worked for someone for 1 1/2 years, I'm sure you would expect some sick pay as well.

[cheerfuldom]

You need to follow the contract regardless of your reason for leaving. Her contract is enforceable in small claims court and she could go after you for that money. I would just pay what the contract outlines and look for new care. If I had a daycare provider that was hospitalized for stress issues and psychosis, I would leave too. I am shocked the other families are staying.

[daycare]

what does her contract say about her illness (not the kids) or emergency/vacation or should I say time off?

Is she required to give you notice if she needs to close and you still have to pay?

Example. I take 3 personal days a year paid. These days that I close, per my contract I am required to give them at least two week notice.

In the event of an emergency, I will not give notice and parents are not expected to pay.

These are my policies, maybe you need to look into your parent handbook and see what she has written regarding this matter.

Even as a daycare provider, coming from the financial side of it, I don't think it's fair that you are asked to pay for day care when you were not given any form of notice....BUT if you signed the contract saying that you will, then unfortunately you will have to follow what her contract/PHB states.

Also, my mother suffered from Bi-polar disorder, OCD and anxiety. I love my mother, but in no way shape or form, medicated or not would I leave my children or any children with her. She is too hot and cold....

I am not saying that your DCP is bad, but when you are dealing with someones mental state, there is not really too much you can do to help. It will effect the environment of the daycare and the children too. I would move my child if I were you knowing what you know...

Sorry you are having to deal with this and good luck...

[youretooloud]

I would read through the contract completely.

I'd probably honor the contract this time, and still take your daughter elsewhere though.

Even though, nobody would ever have seen this coming, maybe the next contract you sign can be tweaked a little so it's fair to both parties.

[Crystal]

I'd offer to meet her halfway. You pay half, she accepts half. I doubt a contract will hold up in court if she is unable to provide care due to her mental state, unless you signed a contract that said you would pay her if her mental state declined. You are considering the best interest of your child and I would not take her back either. If the provider isn't willing to compromise with you, I'd let her take me to court.

[JenNJ]

I would try and pay the back pay but tell her you will not be paying 2 weeks notice. If she disagreed, I would let her take me to small claims. I also would not leave my child in the hands of someone with metal health issues. Please keep us updated!

[Blackcat31]

You need to follow the contract regardless of your reason for leaving. Her contract is enforceable in small claims court and she could go after you for that money. I would just pay what the contract outlines and look for new care. If I had a daycare provider that was hospitalized for stress issues and psychosis, I would leave too. I am shocked the other families are staying.

I disagree that a contract is the "end all" of rules and guidelines. I know of several providers in my area that lost in small claims court the minute a parent had proof that the care was no longer safe. The judgement favored the parent since the provider technically was no longer able to provide the care agreed upon when the contract was signed, therefore voiding it.

If a child care provider is having mental health issues, I would think that would be reason enough to void the contract. However, I would also be inclined to believe you would need some factual evidence to suggest that there is mental health issues. NEVER ever should a child be left in care of someone who may not be safe to watch the child NO MATTER WHAT THE CONTRACT SAYS. As a parent, I would fight tooth and nail to not be bound by a contract that required me to put my child in what I thought may be a dangerous situation.

OP~ I would not hesitate to contact the licensing agency in your area. The licensor should be able to guide you to your next steps. Leaving your child with any one you suspect may be incapable (for ANY reason) of providing safe and stable care is absolutely NOT advisable.

In order to be fair, however, I would probably pay the two weeks notice to end the services and walk away knowing you did what you could and fairly.

[frgsonmysox]

It makes me sad that so many of you are untrusting of people with mental health issues. Many people have them and make amazing parents and caregivers. I have OCD, myself, and it no way impedes on my ability to care for people.

[daycare]

It makes me sad that so many of you are untrusting of people with mental health issues. Many people have them and make amazing parents and caregivers. I have OCD, myself, and it no way impedes on my ability to care for people.

mental disorder or not, when someone is experiencing (op stated) "she informed she she had not slept for 3 days and was experiencing psychosis and was under alot if stress" and is in the hospital for the stress related issues, this person cannot even care for themselves let alone a helpless child...

I grew up with a mom who was mentally unstable and even though I can't compare her disorder to everyone else, I would not even leave my children or any children with her.

I think that it would really have to depend on how mentally unstable one is for me to want to leave my kids with someone.

Also, you have to realize that a lot of us are tainted by the media when it comes to hearing things about people with mental disorders. It's never anything good.

I am sorry if we offended you, but if you were in the state of the DCP that the OP wrote about, I would not leave my kids with you...

[familyschoolcare]

It makes me sad that so many of you are untrusting of people with mental health issues. Many people have them and make amazing parents and caregivers. I have OCD, myself, and it no way impedes on my ability to care for people.

I understand what you are saying and to a point agree. However, the flip side is there are pleanty of mental disorders that would make someone an unfit caregiver.

Did your OCD ever cause you to be hospitailized and egnore your daily responsibilities.

[Crystal]

It makes me sad that so many of you are untrusting of people with mental health issues. Many people have them and make amazing parents and caregivers. I have OCD, myself, and it no way impedes on my ability to care for people.

Seriously? I think OCD is a far cry from psychosis. It's not SAD that we don't trust people to care for small children if they are mentally unfit to do so. It is REALISTIC and RESPONSIBLE. As a provider myself, I would not care for children if I felt I was mentally incapable of doing so. It is putting children at risk of serious consequences should the provider experience a significant lapse in judgement due to her mental state.

You have had some valid arguments on this forum, but THIS is not one of them.

[youretooloud]

It makes me sad that so many of you are untrusting of people with mental health issues. Many people have them and make amazing parents and caregivers. I have OCD, myself, and it no way impedes on my ability to care for people.

It doesn't make me feel bad. If you are paid to do a job, you need to find a way to handle the job. Even under emergency situations, the rest of us still either work anyway, or make sure our daycare parents know where we are, and when we will be back. We don't just leave the parents to twist in the wind, then expect full payment too.



I had one daycare parent who claimed she was Bipolar, but her issues seemed to be much, much worse than Bipolar. I didn't trust her with her own child much less other children.

On medication, she was pretty reasonable, but very emotional. When she went off her medication (which was often) she was completely unreliable to manage even the simplest task. There were days she'd bring her two year old over to my house just before lunch carrying a huge McDOnald's breakfast, and put her two year old in a high chair and try to spoon feed her, then break down in tears because she felt bad that she forgot to make breakfast. One little mistake for her, and she'd have a complete meltdown. (the child hadn't sat in a high chair, OR been spoon fed in nearly a year)

[Jewels]

I wouldnt expect a refund, even though I don't think she should be able to use her vacation without, some kind of a notice, but again check her policies, but I for sure wouldn't give her a two week notice, to me a contract is void, if you are concerned for your childs safety, and with her having to take a week off, for a mental breakdown, thats reason enough. No way would I give a two week. I never expect a parent to pay, if I close at the last minute.

[wdmmom]

I wouldn't expect a refund. I would however use the weeks payment you already paid as part of the two week agreement. Pay her another week and give her written notice of your intent.