Trying To Be Nice

[Unregistered]

I had a new client start a couple moths ago. Since she started I have been lenient with allowing the kids to stay later at no extra charge because they are state paid and claim they are broke. But it went from only needing to be 1 week to being over a month, never knowing from day to day what time she was coming until that morning. Her contract is until 3:00 pm but they were new and I got double income so I allowed it. Then last week she informs me she would be pulling the kids from care because she was taking on a new job and needed to bring the kids a 1/2 hr earlier than my opening time. I was upset at the way she just dropped it in my lap.

She didn't even ask if I would work with her and was just going to pull them with no advance notice. I have a 2 week requirement but she is state paid and I can't enforce much. She has 2 kids and I really hate to give up a double income. I told her we could open up for her 30 minutes sooner for summer and then go from there. I have SA child I have to transport it would be too much in winter with toddlers in tow. Anyway so again I make an adjustment for her. She and her DH seemed grateful! Now she informs me just last night that she will actually be starting work today. OK fine what is the shift. She doesn't know. The kids were dropped off and she said she would call when she could ask what time her shift was over. No call yet. The kids usually leave at 3:00. I serve dinner at 5:00. Her contract with me is for 3:00. I sent a text at 11:00 asking of she knew the pick up time yet. No reply.

I just sent another at 1:00 telling her I have to start planning dinner. I need to know how many kids will be here so I know much salad and pork chops etc to prep, will her kids be here or will they be picked up before dinner. No reply, it's been almost another hour since the last text. It was her idea to update each other via texts and now she's leaving me hang. I'm sure she has had to have some kind of break by now that she could send a quick text or even call me and let me know. Maybe it's just me but I find this rude. She is always rude with her entitled attitude so I have backed off on favors for her. I understand it's a new job but surely they can tell her what her shift is going to be! I really need to know how much meat to prep. It's 2:00 now and getting more irritated by the hour. I hope she doesn't think I will extend beyond my daycare hours for her! 6:00 pm is the latest! (also stated in the contract) What would you do?

[jojosmommy]

I would call her on her cell phone and leave a message that says since she did not make prior arrangements the kids need to be picked up at 3. Tell her you charge X per hour after and the assistance doesn't cover that so it will be out of pocket. Tell her if they aren't picked up within 1 hour of their scheduled pick up you will start calling emergency contacts to pick them up. Once she hears your message she will call back.

She knows right now you will do what SHE wants and she doesnt have to bother to return your text- so she hasn't taken the time to do that.

Tell her you need her new work number too since I am sure she didnt bother to give you updated contact info when she got her new job.

If she is serious about leaving anyway it wont matter much anyway.

[VanessaEO]

Honestly, if it were me - I would let the entire day slide. Be nice about it - whenever she comes to pick them up. Be it 3:00 p.m. or 8:00 p.m.

I would let her know at that time that we needed to work out her schedule again. And I needed to have a confirmed pick up time. Kids picked up after that pick up time would be charged $X/per hour/half hour/minute. Whatever you think is fair.

But honestly, I would be very forgiving on someone's first day of work. I remember my first days of work just wanting to go with the flow and not ask too many questions like what time do I get to leave? I know it can be worded differently, but that's how I would feel in her shoes.

I get that you have a history here that is coloring your opinion of the situation.

I definitely agree with the PP that you NEED her work number. It would be non-negotiable for me. But I would only use it in case of emergencies.

But - its just my two cents. Take it with a grain of salt.

[Meeko]

It may be her first day of work, but she will still get breaks and a lunch break and could have called you. Most new employers would EXPECT her ask lots of questions! It wouldn't hurt anyone for her to say,

"I do need to let my day care provider know what my new schedule will be"

What are they going to say to her..... "Not gonna tell you!!"

You need to sit her down and politely , but VERY firmly let her know that you have a life. You need to know things in order to function. Don't let another day go by without a new written schedule and make sure she understands that she must stick to it.

Of course it could be a case of she knows she's going to be leaving you anyway, so she simply doesn't care how much she puts you out.....

[cheerfuldom]

Either you put up with all of this in order to keep the kids or you terminate them. At this point, she is ready to leave at a moment's notice anyway with no real way to get her to abide by the two weeks notice. If you won't put up with her family and job drama, someone else out there will. Its up to you to decide where you draw the line. You already gave several times and its obvious that she is entitled and ungrateful. I hope it works out but can't imagine that the relationship would suddenly change now.

[Unregistered]

Update:

At 4:00 DCD showed up to get the kids. No one called or texted. I asked him if he knew what the new schedule would be for pick ups. He said he didn't know but that DCM would call later she was still working. Ok fine talk to ya later.

6:00 I get a text from DCM saying she doesn't know what pick up times will be it will vary day to day. I explain I need to have a time not only for contract purposes but so that I may plan meals. I explain to her about the dinner situation. I don't mind feeding 2 more children dinner as I already have kids here for every meal of the day but that I needed to know in advance. She tells me her supervisor said she will never know when shes done until shes done with all the work day to day. She said it could be anywhere from 4:00-6:00 so she doesnt know what days her kids will be needing fed dinner at my house. Is this normal for anyone else? How do you manage your dinner? Also she could work until 6 so I reminded her of my closing hour being 6:00. She said she knows and they are trying to decide what to do. I said ok well if you need to find a different provider please let me know soon. She says well we dont want to pull the kids I just don't know what to tell you for pick up time so I guess it will change daily and I have no way to lety you know. I ask her if she could somehow find out by noon that would give me time for meal prep. She said no she wont know until she's done with her work because when she gets done she may have other areas that need assistance. I'm thinking surely the supervisor understands she needs to have some kind of time to inform her provider but I guess not.

I let it go because there's no way around it so it seems. I just don't see how this is going to work. I asked her if we could have a set time say 4:00 or even 6:00 and if she still isnt done maybe DCD could pick them up. (he doesnt work) She says again I don't know. I remind her of the closing time being 6 so they have to be picked up by 6 anyway. She says she knows and sits there. OK so here I am no closer to a resolution it's only going to get worse. As I said I don't mind them being here but I feel I have the right to know a pick up time. She could work with me a little more I think. So now my question is what do you do if you encounter this probelm with dinner? I can't waste food everyday preping for her kids and they leave. We are not permitted to serve left overs so they would go in the trash. There wouldn't be enough to go around again anyway. If I don't make enough then her kids will be hungry and I would never eat in front of a child anyway. So I am really at a loss as what to do here. Never had this problem. Dinner is at 5. It use to be 6 but I had to change it to accomodate a child who never gets dinner and leaves at 6. So what do I do? If I change it back to 6 and let the other kid eat sammies at home I still have the other 2 kids possibly til after 6 anyway. I really can't see a solution here.

[Meeko]

The dad doesn't work?!!!

Then there is no reason whatsoever that a pick up time can't be arranged. If the dad isn't working he can pick up at an allotted time.

Question: If the dad isn't working...why are the kids not at home with him?!

[morgan24]

Why is she getting state assistance if the Dad isn't working? Usually when the state helps pay the daycare both parents are working, at least that's the way it is here. I think that you are being way to accommodating. I would tell her you need to know her work hours and once you know that give her drive time and that is her pick up time, if she can't be there at the time dcd can be. I think your solution is to replace her with someone who doesn't jerk you around.

[nannyde]

He's either not the real baby daddy or they are scamming the state telling them he doesn't live with them when he does.... or it could be a child protective placement.

solution is simple. Make dinner for them and plan on them being there until six thirty every day. If they aren't there for the supper... reheat and give it to the kids for lunch the next day.

The food would be the least of my worries. Having kids come for that many hours at variable times would drive me nuts.

How are you getting double pay?

[MsMe]

There is a perfectly clear solution!! If she can not give you a set pick up time then you are not the right provider for her. You require a set time, she can not give it to you, care ends. Final.

And you don't even have to feel bad about putting the family in a bad spot needing care.....Dad is already home to do it

P.S. how are they gettign assistance if Dad isnt working ?

[daycare]

I agree with PP.... no end time no DC...

this is not an open ended daycare come when your ready...its come before I close. If the parents cant figure out how to get the kids picked up before closign then they need to find another DC..

As for the DAD WTheck why doesnt he keep the kids??

[Mom_of_two]

I tend to feel the same as MsMe. If that were the situation I would know I am not the right provider for them. I just am not willing to work with that. I am sure there are providers who are more relaxed about pick up times etc, I need to know, just how I work. Good luck, keep us posted.

[Unregistered]

He's either not the real baby daddy or they are scamming the state telling them he doesn't live with them when he does.... or it could be a child protective placement.

solution is simple. Make dinner for them and plan on them being there until six thirty every day. If they aren't there for the supper... reheat and give it to the kids for lunch the next day.

The food would be the least of my worries. Having kids come for that many hours at variable times would drive me nuts.

How are you getting double pay?

The DCD is the birth father but is on disability and has been declared unable to tend to the children. (so they say)

As for the food once I cook it if they don't eat it it's garbage. I am not allowed to reheat any leftovers by order of our food program. I tried to dispute the food issue in class and they said it's for food safety what ever is not eaten during the meal must be discarded. So that's the problem with cooking the food otherwise I wouldn't have a problem to begin with.

[Meeko]

Are you on the food program?

Maybe tell them that you will cook a meal for her children, but that the food is not free. The food program will pay for meals actually served, but not if the kids aren't there. So she'll have to pay if the food goes to waste. The food program does not allow left-overs/re-heating so you need compensation if her kids don't eat.

I'm still not buying her explanation of her hours. I just can't see a company telling their employees that they can't go home until the work is done. They EMPLOY people.....not OWN them! They cannot legally keep them at work as long as they like! My guess is that she gets over-time pay if sh'es willing to work a bit longer.

[wdmmom]

No contracted times, no daycare. If DCD isn't working, set them down and tell them...here is what I'm willing to do for you but here's what you have to do for me:

1.) Pickup at the same time everyday...whether it be DCM or DCD

2.) Don't prepare any dinners for them.

3.) Set up contracted hours. If they come at 8am, DCD has to be here no later than 4pm (or whatever you decide)

If they can't comply with this arrangement, terminate services.

To be on the safe side, I'd start advertising today!