Immediate Termination Stories

[Hunni Bee]

I've had two - both behavior issues.

One was about 4 years ago. He was clearly on the spectrum but parents were older and in denial. He bit, hit and kicked, threw objects, screamed about things that were literally only happening in his mind. Hid from me, destroyed classrooms - like pulled down shelves. The day before he left, he climbed on a shelf and scratched his arm, but accused another teacher of "hitting him". The mark could not have come from hitting anyway, but I put my foot down and said I would no longer care for him if one top of everything else, he was going to start accusing us of harming him.

The other was child was similar: violent, refused to follow directions and acting out sexually as well. He got a group of girls together in a corner to show them his penis. We called for immediate pickup. He also had a balance of over $1400 (don't know why it was allowed to get that high). His mom tried to drop him off super early the next morning to try skip out on her payment and avoid talking about the penis incident. When the director came in and found him signed in, she called mom and termed on the spot.

[Annalee]

my worst termination came with the dcm that would not allow me to feed dcb11months. Things just escalated one day and I had her things ready when she arrived to pickup. She immediately tried to lay on my shoulder and cried and I backed away. She then sat on the bench and saying she wasn't leaving until I told her the child could stay here. After several minutes, I took the child to the car and placed him in the carseat, she was yelling at me from the car as I came back in side pleading with me to keep her kid.

Then there was the lady that received state pay: She knew up front she would have to pay what the state didn't pay. Well, before Christmas break she went to the state office whining about it and the state office called telling me how cruel I was. When she arrived at pickup, I handed her a term letter and sent one to the state office, too....never will I take a state child again, because of the department, not the kids.

[Ariana]

I am not sure this qualifies because it was right after my trial period where I let parents know if I will be continuing care or not but I termed a child who was 2 yrs old who could only say 1 word “momma”, had very clear developmental delays and mom was in deep denial and lied about seeing an SLP. Turns out the child was deaf

Another child never made it through my trial period for agression, she purposefully stepped on another childs ankle, and constant screaming throughout nap and outdoor time. She lasted a week and a half. The mom was nutters as well!

[Pestle]

-I was providing care from a family's house and they left drug paraphernalia on the coffee table.
-3yo whose foster family lied about behavior that got care terminated at a previous care center. Child could not cope with adult attention directed at other children; would not allow other children to play; flipped all the activities off of the table and threw a chair at me.

[MomBoss]

I wish i could terminate immediatly for some of my kids, but i cant afford it They make me hate my job. Thankfully they are part time.

[Annalee]

I wish i could terminate immediatly for some of my kids, but i cant afford it They make me hate my job. Thankfully they are part time.

Gradually, I reached a point in life where no money was worth some things. I am by no means wealthy, but my sanity is priceless. I have Been in child care for 34 years and in Family child Care for 26+ years. Being selective who enters or remains in my child care program is a must for me to survive.

[Unregistered]

Had a dcm with 3 children and lived with her grandparents, grandad would pay for their care and then she would come and get them. The first 2 months were fine until about July then things took a downward spiral, the day they were terminated she pitched the biggest fit and it was soo bad we had to call the sheriff. Never heard from her again.

[nanglgrl]

Mine was pretty mild but very peculiar. I had an infant for a few months and things did not start off well. First the child was not bottle trained at all and screamed all day. She acted like the bottle was a torture device. Her scream was the worst. After a lot of back and forth (I was very truthful with mom about the screaming) I found out the mom was exclusively breastfeeding and that the child had never even had formula. Mom didn’t want to pump. She seriously thought the child could be at my house for 8 hours and not eat.
We went about trying different formulas and bottles but it was obvious the child was not getting any bottle training at home so it was minimally successful.
During this period there were a few days I had to close 1/2 hr-1 hr early. Parents were notified well in advance. They were also notified (and it was in their contract) that these early closures did not change their bill. I don’t charge by the hour.
One day the mom showed up to pick up almost an hour late and well after everyone else had left. I told her what the late charge was and said she’d have to pay it the next morning at drop off. The next morning she hands me the child and I asked for the late fee. Then she said “I wanted to talk to you about that” and hands me a piece of paper. On the paper she had written down any time she had dropped off late or picked up even 5 minutes early..these were times not requested by me..and the few days I had closed early, and then proceeded to tell me how she didn’t owe me a late fee because I owed her time. I told her that wasn’t how it worked while seriously wondering what the heck was going on. This lady had several doctorate degrees and is incredibly smart. Her family is very well known in our community. I felt like I was being punked.
She basically refused to pay. I still can’t believe how calm I stayed. It was so weird. In an act of goodwill (or maybe because I didn’t want my reputation tarnished) I offered to watch the child for the remainder of the week (prepaid in advance) and forgive the late fee so she could find care that better suited her needs. She then said she was afraid that since I was mad at her I would take it out on her baby. I had been holding the baby the entire time. There was never any yelling, just me explaining that wasn’t how this worked, my contract and how we might not be a good fit. I felt like my body was taken over by an Angel because I was unbelievably calm dealing with her entitled, “I’m the boss of you” attitude. I finally just told her that it didn’t sound like we were going to agree and that was fine but it meant we wouldn’t be able to work together, handed her the baby and shut the door.
A few days later I received an email from her detailing what she thought I owed her for the prepaid week. I sent her an email back basically saying “um, nope” and that was the last time I heard from her.

[nanglgrl]

Another term happened with two little girls. I believe they were around 3 and 5. I had them second shift. When they started they were the rudest, most obnoxious children I’d ever met. A few months in and they were finally saying please and thank you and actually became quite well mannered..at least until pick up.
As soon as their mom arrived they were back to the feral children who could do whatever they wanted. I had several talks with their mom about putting her foot down and how I couldn’t have my house be so chaotic at 11pm when my husband and two children were sleeping. Nothing got through to her.
One pick up the 3yo refused to put on her shoes and wanted to wear the older sisters shoes. Instead of just carrying the child to the car or having her walk barefoot (it was warm out) she let her put big sisters shoes on so now big sister was wailing. I just couldn’t take it anymore and basically told mom that this was happening because she allowed it. This of course pissed the mom off.
In the middle of the night I start getting text about how she was going to report me because I didn’t change her child’s diaper. She said “I know you didn’t change her because she’s wearing a Disney princess pull-up with hearts on it and I only have Disney princess pull-ups with hearts on them at home. The ones I sent to your house are Disney princess pull-ups with stars on them”. I then sent her a photo of the pull-up in my garbage can as well as a photo of the pull-ups she had sent to my house which had all sorts of Disney princess designs..including hearts. If I remember correctly she then accused me of sending pictures of someone else’s pull-ups even though that was the only child in my care with pull-ups. I told her it wasn’t going to work out. Then I ignored her. Then I got text wanting their stuff and that she was reporting me for theft. She was an assistance client whose paperwork hadn’t been approved yet. How I deal with that (and I’m allowed to do so) is that the client pays me the assistance rate and when/if the state pays me I reimburse the client. I told her she would get her money as soon as the state paid me. She did not like that answer but I wasn’t backing down. No way was I going to be stiffed for months of work . She then wanted to come over that minute and get their items. I said no, she said she was calling the police. I said I would meet her at the police station the next evening with their items (at his point I didn’t want her back at my house when I was alone with children). She refused..by sheer chance the state approved her the next day. I had her come over when my hubby was home, handed her a check, had her sign a receipt and handed her their things. It didn’t end there. The state had assigned her a high copay so she wasn’t getting a full refund of her money. The text started all over again. She finally stopped when she realized I wasn’t taking the bait.

[amberrose3dg]

Mine was pretty mild but very peculiar. I had an infant for a few months and things did not start off well. First the child was not bottle trained at all and screamed all day. She acted like the bottle was a torture device. Her scream was the worst. After a lot of back and forth (I was very truthful with mom about the screaming) I found out the mom was exclusively breastfeeding and that the child had never even had formula. Mom didn’t want to pump. She seriously thought the child could be at my house for 8 hours and not eat.
We went about trying different formulas and bottles but it was obvious the child was not getting any bottle training at home so it was minimally successful.
During this period there were a few days I had to close 1/2 hr-1 hr early. Parents were notified well in advance. They were also notified (and it was in their contract) that these early closures did not change their bill. I don’t charge by the hour.
One day the mom showed up to pick up almost an hour late and well after everyone else had left. I told her what the late charge was and said she’d have to pay it the next morning at drop off. The next morning she hands me the child and I asked for the late fee. Then she said “I wanted to talk to you about that” and hands me a piece of paper. On the paper she had written down any time she had dropped off late or picked up even 5 minutes early..these were times not requested by me..and the few days I had closed early, and then proceeded to tell me how she didn’t owe me a late fee because I owed her time. I told her that wasn’t how it worked while seriously wondering what the heck was going on. This lady had several doctorate degrees and is incredibly smart. Her family is very well known in our community. I felt like I was being punked.
She basically refused to pay. I still can’t believe how calm I stayed. It was so weird. In an act of goodwill (or maybe because I didn’t want my reputation tarnished) I offered to watch the child for the remainder of the week (prepaid in advance) and forgive the late fee so she could find care that better suited her needs. She then said she was afraid that since I was mad at her I would take it out on her baby. I had been holding the baby the entire time. There was never any yelling, just me explaining that wasn’t how this worked, my contract and how we might not be a good fit. I felt like my body was taken over by an Angel because I was unbelievably calm dealing with her entitled, “I’m the boss of you” attitude. I finally just told her that it didn’t sound like we were going to agree and that was fine but it meant we wouldn’t be able to work together, handed her the baby and shut the door.
A few days later I received an email from her detailing what she thought I owed her for the prepaid week. I sent her an email back basically saying “um, nope” and that was the last time I heard from her.

Owed her time for picking up her kid a little early. Oh my that is a new one.

[nanglgrl]

The only other term I had in the last 24 years (around 18 years actually doing daycare) was a mom if an infant who need the attention of a nanny not a group care provider who charged $125 a week..I should clarify, the baby was an angel, the mom needed the attention.
I watched the older sibling (not as an infant) and he thrived here. Then the baby was born and mom was texting me all hours, wanting his exact poop and pee schedule, when he ate and how much and wanted to know what her 3 month old was playing and why he was laying on his tummy off to the side (having tummy time with toys) in a photo I posted of a group activity. Her constant ridiculous questions made me stop posting photos for the group.
She kept asking I needed more burp rags and I explained that he didn’t spit up much here. Apparently at home he basically vomited while being burped. She just couldn’t understand why it was so different here. Eventually it came out that she put rice in his bottle. I explained that I couldn’t do that here, that he doesn’t need rice and that’s it’s not best practice for me but she should do what she needs to do at home. I did not say that the rice was probably the reason for the vomit. Not my monkey and all.
For some reason she just couldn’t quit. Acted like I was doing something horrible by not putting rice in his bottle. Started taking up so much of my time after hours that I stopped responding and it all came to a head when I finally told her that we weren’t a good fit because I couldn’t provide the things she wanted. It was basically a self term that I talked her into. I was caring for one of her friends children and trying not to ruffle feathers (the friend didn’t leave and apologized for recommending her later after hearing about the shenanigans from her friend).
The baby never went to another daycare and mom quit her job. I think that was what she wanted all along but she needed to feel like I was the bad guy. Some parents are so weird.
Thankfully, these are the only terms that I can remember. While I did use my backbone is some ways I didn’t do it soon enough and put up with way too much. These days I choose my clients wisely and make it known right away that I don’t play games and that I’d rather have an open spot than a client or child that stresses me out as much as these people did. Now I have great clients. I think if any of them tried to pull these kind of stunts I’d just point to the door and say “just go, I can’t even”.

[nanglgrl]

Owed her time for picking up her kid a little early. Oh my that is a new one.

I can’t adequately explain how completely shocked I was. This woman has published books and articles on things I can’t pretend to understand. In retrospect I think her being so educated made it incredibly easy for her to think of me, a simple daycare provider working on a bachelors degree, as some lowly peasant who would do what she said. Or maybe she was just a brat😂

[amberrose3dg]

I can’t adequately explain how completely shocked I was. This woman has published books and articles on things I can’t pretend to understand. In retrospect I think her being so educated made it incredibly easy for her to think of me, a simple daycare provider working on a bachelors degree, as some lowly peasant who would do what she said. Or maybe she was just a brat😂

Yeah probably. I get treated like that by my daycare parents and I can guarantee I am more educated and have more work experience than any of my parents. I finally started letting them all know I teach college classes outside of my daycare job that apparently anyone can do

[sharlan]

I had a little guy who was supposed to take a bottle. I tried 4 different bottles and he wouldn't take a single one. He SCREAMED for hours before I called for pick up. He screamed for dad until mom got home. Mom quit her job the next day. I think that was her whole goal.

[Josiegirl]

I can’t adequately explain how completely shocked I was. This woman has published books and articles on things I can’t pretend to understand. In retrospect I think her being so educated made it incredibly easy for her to think of me, a simple daycare provider working on a bachelors degree, as some lowly peasant who would do what she said. Or maybe she was just a brat��

Wow, you've had some winners.

Over the years I've had situations where I should've termed right on the spot but kept second-guessing myself and hung in there. But you can bet that when the first opportunity that looked like a great reason for not allowing a dcf back, or something similar happened, I took advantage of it.
My most challenging dcf was a brother/sister duet, extremely strong willed, mouthy and sassy, greedy, selfish, and the dcb accused an older dcg of touching him inappropriately when he didn't get his way. He had broken many items in my dc because of his anger. He'd get mad at me and throw all the books off bookshelves or toys. One time he kept refusing to sit in time out so I put him in a booster seat at the table and he ended up spitting all over my kitchen floor. Oh he was a brat. He used to get on his sister's case about every single thing, extremely bossy and controlling. And his sister was growing up the same way. Looking back, I have no idea how or why I hung in there for so long. I guess because terming is easier said than done.