Pre-Backbone Stories

[mommyneedsadayoff]

With my first daycare, I had mostly kids that lived on the same street as me. One of them lived two houses down and I only watched their child 2 days a week. She would consistently show up 15 minutes before she was scheduled to arrive. I was really addicted to a coffee place up the street, so I went to go get coffee each morning and I would come back home at 6:30 a.m. to find her knocking on my door. She wasn't scheduled to arrive until 6:45, but seem to have no issue knocking on the door, waking up my child because we have dogs who bark, and scaring the crap out of my husband who would just be stepping out of the shower. I would frantically apologize to her for not being home, even though she was early. I also only charged them for the two days, so $40, and they never paid me on time. I always had to text and ask for my paycheck, which made me feel like I was poor, since it was only $40. But at that point, $40 was a big deal to me. She would come home, wave at us playing the front yard, and then go into her house and not pick up till after 5pm. I let that go on for way too long.

I kind of got my "revenge" so to speak. Her older son was riding his bike on the sidewalk and let it drop against my car, putting the handlebar right through my tail light. I told them about it and they said to let them know what it cost to fix it. Well, about a few days later, I was driving down the street and a guy backed out of his driveway hitting the same side of the car and scratching it all the way down the back. His insurance paid to fix the car and they actually fixed the tail light as well. So it cost me nothing, but I told her that it would be $150 to fix it. It took a little bit of time to get that money, but they did end up paying it to me. I stopped watching their kid after that. LOL

[Ariana]

Maybe it is because I worked at a centre and have a strong customer service background (used to confrontation) or because I found this forum really early on (like within the first few months) but I have always had a pretty decent backbone.

[Rockgirl]

Maybe it is because I worked at a centre and have a strong customer service background (used to confrontation) or because I found this forum really early on (like within the first few months) but I have always had a pretty decent backbone.

I wish I’d had this forum when I started out!

[Annalee]

Oh wow, in the beginning I had no organization and allowed parents to walk all over me. I even kept too many kids not really knowing the rules. I kept kids all hours of the day. When I began I worked all year except Christmas and New Years day. I would "ask" parents about being closed and they dictated what choices I made. Now, I "tell"! My interviews are much more in-depth. I worked for 8 long years like this before taking an FCC orientation class meeting some providers from a neighboring counties. They invited me to their monthly FCC support group meetings. This changed my life. All offered so much insight but one became my mentor and still is to this day. I have attended so many FCC events with them locally, state-wide and nationally. This was 18 years ago and it took the next couple years getting my FCC-life in order (52 weeks a year pay with holidays, professional days, personal days, emergency days, vacations, etc). Not that it is perfect now, but it is so much better. Thankfully, I did this before my sons were born. Going into my 26th year now

[MOM OF 4]

When I started daycare, I had parents who always seemed to need more than 12 hours. At the time, I started unlicensed, and so was unaware of the "rules" of time. I just began the daycare to help some "friends". It seemed to be normal. When I became licensed, I then found out the rules. My hours of operation were 5am to 8pm, since I am near a military base. This one particular parent, started strong, but then I noticed her baby girl had colic. VERY BAD colic. Cried all the time. Mom and dad came later and later and always had an excuse. I kept letting the excuses go, but I was starting to get frustrated that the baby would sit and scream, and I couldn't attend to other children, including her son that was also in care. I gave mom a notice, letting her know I could no longer watch her children, unless she was here less hours. It was just too much for a home with 7 other kids! The next day she brought her child 5am and did not return til almost 930pm that night. Her schedule was 8am-6pm. When I called, no answer. I didn't really press having an alternate get the children. When she arrived, she apologizes and states she got stuck at work because someone called out---BUT she asked for help to her van...apparently forgetting WHY that was a dumb idea! Apparently, she had been shopping since 6pm, and she never told her husband (sitting in car) what she told me (at the door)! Additionally, she decided to go out somewhere before work with the husband, and never even asked! Just assumed herself and her husband could take advantage. It seemed to me that she had been taking advantage of me for a couple months.
THAT NIGHT, I fired her for lying to me about having to work so late.

Next time- I had a set of parents who I found out a couple years after stopping care, they had been abusing children. I never saw it, except, the parents would sometimes NOT show up for care. Now, my contract said dc is to be paid whether or not children attend. Dad shows up after TWO WHOLE weeks no call-no show, and expects care, without paying for #1 a week of care I did the week before the 2 week no show and #2 the two week no show period. Demands I take his children and threatened me. So I take them, and then dad (and then mom) had 10001 excuses why they could not pay til "Monday". Monday came and went as well as other days of the week! No call no show AGAIN. Following week, demanded that I give care. This happened for 1 year like this. But then one day, the mother came to pick up and her child was screaming she didn't want to go home. So she asked me to keep the child, and then to pick up older child from girl scouts. I agreed, even though I knew mom did NOT work those hours. I then brought the children to them. Apparently, that peeved off the dad, bc then next morning, DEMANDED ME TO WATCH THE CHILDREN AGAIN- but told me he had reported me to licensing for spanking and refusing to feed the children! I told him where to go, licensing visits me and sees everything is fine with me, but get this: AS licensing is interviewing me, I get an email stating if I don't take the children, I will be on the receiving end of bodily harm! Licensing and I have to contact the police department at this point. I could not believe how that turned out. And, he never did actually pay! After this family, that was the day I put up with NO MORE BS. I had iron-clad contracts, and did not allow any more families to walk over me.

One woman did try once after, to come 3.5 hours later than her pickup time and I fired her AND charged the fee. I ran into her in store the next day bc she hadn't paid it yet. She said "I'll tell the state that you don't change diapers and my son got a rash" I said "Do it. I dare you to lie to the state. I expect my $$ or I'll be suing you for that and late fees" She paid me a check in the parking lot. Then I said "By the way, you'll need to find other care, as you just made a threat to me. Consider this your immediate termination" She asked me to reconsider, she was sorry, etc. I said "I'm sorry too."

[amberrose3dg]

When I started daycare, I had parents who always seemed to need more than 12 hours. At the time, I started unlicensed, and so was unaware of the "rules" of time. I just began the daycare to help some "friends". It seemed to be normal. When I became licensed, I then found out the rules. My hours of operation were 5am to 8pm, since I am near a military base. This one particular parent, started strong, but then I noticed her baby girl had colic. VERY BAD colic. Cried all the time. Mom and dad came later and later and always had an excuse. I kept letting the excuses go, but I was starting to get frustrated that the baby would sit and scream, and I couldn't attend to other children, including her son that was also in care. I gave mom a notice, letting her know I could no longer watch her children, unless she was here less hours. It was just too much for a home with 7 other kids! The next day she brought her child 5am and did not return til almost 930pm that night. Her schedule was 8am-6pm. When I called, no answer. I didn't really press having an alternate get the children. When she arrived, she apologizes and states she got stuck at work because someone called out---BUT she asked for help to her van...apparently forgetting WHY that was a dumb idea! Apparently, she had been shopping since 6pm, and she never told her husband (sitting in car) what she told me (at the door)! Additionally, she decided to go out somewhere before work with the husband, and never even asked! Just assumed herself and her husband could take advantage. It seemed to me that she had been taking advantage of me for a couple months.
THAT NIGHT, I fired her for lying to me about having to work so late.

Next time- I had a set of parents who I found out a couple years after stopping care, they had been abusing children. I never saw it, except, the parents would sometimes NOT show up for care. Now, my contract said dc is to be paid whether or not children attend. Dad shows up after TWO WHOLE weeks no call-no show, and expects care, without paying for #1 a week of care I did the week before the 2 week no show and #2 the two week no show period. Demands I take his children and threatened me. So I take them, and then dad (and then mom) had 10001 excuses why they could not pay til "Monday". Monday came and went as well as other days of the week! No call no show AGAIN. Following week, demanded that I give care. This happened for 1 year like this. But then one day, the mother came to pick up and her child was screaming she didn't want to go home. So she asked me to keep the child, and then to pick up older child from girl scouts. I agreed, even though I knew mom did NOT work those hours. I then brought the children to them. Apparently, that peeved off the dad, bc then next morning, DEMANDED ME TO WATCH THE CHILDREN AGAIN- but told me he had reported me to licensing for spanking and refusing to feed the children! I told him where to go, licensing visits me and sees everything is fine with me, but get this: AS licensing is interviewing me, I get an email stating if I don't take the children, I will be on the receiving end of bodily harm! Licensing and I have to contact the police department at this point. I could not believe how that turned out. And, he never did actually pay! After this family, that was the day I put up with NO MORE BS. I had iron-clad contracts, and did not allow any more families to walk over me.

One woman did try once after, to come 3.5 hours later than her pickup time and I fired her AND charged the fee. I ran into her in store the next day bc she hadn't paid it yet. She said "I'll tell the state that you don't change diapers and my son got a rash" I said "Do it. I dare you to lie to the state. I expect my $$ or I'll be suing you for that and late fees" She paid me a check in the parking lot. Then I said "By the way, you'll need to find other care, as you just made a threat to me. Consider this your immediate termination" She asked me to reconsider, she was sorry, etc. I said "I'm sorry too."

WTF you actually had a family not pay you and you kept their kids for a year because of threats. Well I thought I had some issues come through here. :hug:

[LysesKids]

WTF you actually had a family not pay you and you kept their kids for a year because of threats. Well I thought I had some issues come through here. :hug:

I've called the cops on parents 2 times; first time was the year I opened, 2nd time was 3 years ago (15 years later ). Both times it was fathers that threatened me and my lively hood in front of children no less (theirs and mine).

The 1st threat from both families was the only one they did as there was immediate termination of care. I had a backbone from day one, because I was a victim of domestic violence way back before I did childcare, and as a single working mom, MOMMA BEAR came out the minute someone busted thru my front door (1st time, 2nd time not only called the cops , but neighborhood manager of the park I lived in because they had just moved there). I will live without $$, I will not live in fear

And don't you dare threatened to have the state shut my business because I won't bow down to your tactics... that goes for any business I own/run

[MOM OF 4]

WTF you actually had a family not pay you and you kept their kids for a year because of threats. Well I thought I had some issues come through here. :hug:

YES! I was pretty young and dumb then. I thought they could "do something" to me/my license or my family. But after a few classes where I got to meet other DCP's and talk with them, eventually I realized this was insane. Looking back, I can't believe I put up with it!

[MOM OF 4]

I've called the cops on parents 2 times; first time was the year I opened, 2nd time was 3 years ago (15 years later ). Both times it was fathers that threatened me and my lively hood in front of children no less (theirs and mine).

The 1st threat from both families was the only one they did as there was immediate termination of care. I had a backbone from day one, because I was a victim of domestic violence way back before I did childcare, and as a single working mom, MOMMA BEAR came out the minute someone busted thru my front door (1st time, 2nd time not only called the cops , but neighborhood manager of the park I lived in because they had just moved there). I will live without $$, I will not live in fear

And don't you dare threatened to have the state shut my business because I won't bow down to your tactics... that goes for any business I own/run

100% agree. I don't do care these days, but if I ever did again, I am wiser to people and their games, and won't allow any BS! Everytime I remember that one set of parents, I always feel so dumb because I should have never ever continued care for their children on the basis of feeling threatened. I should have had a backbone.

[Hunni Bee]

I've only done center so it was more standing my ground with unscrupulous employers than parents.

At my first job I would frequently do every job in the center - I subbed in every room, I did van runs (and transported to and from home as well as school), food/supply shopping, bookkeeping, food prep, laundry, cleaning...I opened and closed the building, I was ALWAYS the one there in bad weather because I lived across the street. I was also in college. The only reason I didn't die of exhaustion was because I was in my early 20s.