Pre-Backbone Stories

[Rockgirl]

For most of us, it has taken awhile to develop our backbones and say NO to ridiculous parent requests. Anyone want to share stories of what they used to tolerate and accommodate?

I’ll start. When I first started out (in my mid-twenties), I only had 3 DCKs. One of them was a strong-willed 3 year old boy. One morning, his mom called me, saying he was having a meltdown and wouldn’t get in the car. She asked if I would come over and pick him up (just a few blocks away), and I DID IT.

Anyone else?

[Blackcat31]

When I first started eons ago, I was open from 5am to 6pm every single day. I rarely every closed other than actual holidays and even then only the big ones like Christmas Day. I stayed open Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve not even closing early. I never charged for any of the time I did take off so of course, I couldn't afford to take any so I was open almost all the time.

I had several parents that would not show up at closing time and I would just wait. I didn't call them or even reach out to their emergency contacts. I just waited for them to show up. I never even said a word. Not one.

Latest one ever was almost 2.5 hours after closing.

Once I realized how much "free" time I was giving out and how much I was allowing clients to dictate my schedule I stopped. It took a year to transition all the unwanted families out of care but I'm glad I made the change.

Looking back I still can't help wonder WTH was I thinking??? :confused:

[amberrose3dg]

When I first started eons ago, I was open from 5am to 6pm every single day. I rarely every closed other than actual holidays and even then only the big ones like Christmas Day. I stayed open Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve not even closing early. I never charged for any of the time I did take off so of course, I couldn't afford to take any so I was open almost all the time.

I had several parents that would not show up at closing time and I would just wait. I didn't call them or even reach out to their emergency contacts. I just waited for them to show up. I never even said a word. Not one.

Latest one ever was almost 2.5 hours after closing.

Once I realized how much "free" time I was giving out and how much I was allowing clients to dictate my schedule I stopped. It took a year to transition all the unwanted families out of care but I'm glad I made the change.

Looking back I still can't help wonder WTH was I thinking??? :confused:

WOW! Some parents
I stayed open later than I wanted to in the beginning also. I had a dad go get wasted and forgot his kids. He was 3 hours late. I called the mom and emergency contacts. no one could come to get the kids. I was way too nice about the situation. She apologized and stopped sending them immediately.

[Blackcat31]

WOW! Some parents
I stayed open later than I wanted to in the beginning also. I had a dad go get wasted and forgot his kids. He was 3 hours late. I called the mom and emergency contacts. no one could come to get the kids. I was way too nice about the situation. She apologized and stopped sending them immediately.

Yes!

I had the drop in who's mom went to the casino and "lost track of time"

I had the mom in an addict recovery program decide to 'indulge a little' then take a nap and not wake up until almost 3 hours after her normal pick up time.

I had a dad that called and said he was "busy" (would not give details other than "busy") and would not be here until after 6PM when I closed. I said I closed at 6 but he said "Well I'm busy. I'll be there when I get there".

So I waited. Didn't say a word. Didn't charge them extra.

Wow and I wonder now why I am so quick to say something direct and immediate now. :: ::

[Jupadia]

My first client I let walk over me. She started off 4 days per week, mom said she would work up to five days a week. Cool I was fine with that. But a month or so in she would switch days or say only 3 next week not four. I was only charging for days used and not the spot then for her. Over the next few months it went from 2 to 5 days per week. I noticed that mom was looking pregnant but the way she carried and what she wore made it hard to tell. Then they went on vacation for a week then made it two weeks. Mom comes back and only wants a couple days per week. She was then "hiding" new babe in car. Now parents get up to 1 year mat leave at the time so I realized that it was not going to move up on days. A month later she pulled her kid.
A year later phones me up wanting two spots, I said nope sorry no room. Even though i did still have one spot available, and one spot that would be open for a couple months. At that point I had a better contract in place and parents who did not hide their pregnancy from me.

[nanglgrl]

When I first opened I didn’t charge for absences. Children were gone regularly and I was taking a pay cut. That all ended one year when every family was gone most of December and used friends/family for free care. We could barely afford Christmas. To make it worse at least one family was telling people I was closed all of the time and that’s why they were scrambling to find care...I was never closed!

[CountryRoads]

I still struggle to find my backbone.
I haven't been doing daycare that long at all, but a couple things stand out to me.
Newborn dcb wasn't on a bottle when he started with me. At the time, we lived right around the corner from where dcm worked, she asked me to text her when he was hungry and she would come nurse him. I stupidly went along with it. There were several times that she got busy and couldn't leave for sometimes 20-30 minutes, and I was left trying to comfort her screaming, starving baby. She knew we were moving outside of town and she had 5 months to get him on a bottle. I kept reminding her that we're moving in X months, etc. It was like 2 months or so before we were moving and he still wasn't on a bottle. Like she had just bought one for him to try. It wasn't working at all and I finally asked her how he was at home and she told me "No one likes to listen to him scream, so I give in and nurse him." Thanks dcm! My kids and myself also do not like to listen to him scream! I worked so hard with him, and he eventually took one. NEVER AGAIN. That was not fair to any of us. Now he's 2.5 years old and mom still gives him an infant bottle at him She had another baby the next year, and I made it clear she needed to be on a bottle on day one.
I also put up with alot of late payments, sick children, late pick ups. I updated my policies this year to include late payment fees and toughened up my illness policy. So glad I did!

[Josiegirl]

My very first dcf was a friend from my previous job. She had 2 boys, 1 1/2 and 2 1/2, and told me right off the bat, 'I can only afford 40 a week, for both of them, total'. And she would bring them in at 5 a.m., pick them up at 2. Course back then $40 bought a lot more than it does now. Doesn't that make me sound ancient but it's true.

I've gotten pretty good about most things but still have a hard time if a certain dcm needs to use my shoulder to cry on. ( I'm too much of a softie but a Friday night, maybe a month ago, I asked her how work's been going because I know it gets her down terribly. She was here until 5:45. I close at 5. I just couldn't kick her out; she's a wonderful and giving person. When I was sick she brought me flowers and chicken soup.

[Ac114]

I’m still a newbie so I’m still finding my backbone. I’ve changed a lot this year compared to last year. Didn’t have a contract and took 5 days off unpaid. Let the parents dictate everything. Now I have a contract with 10 paid holidays off and 10 unpaid days I may take off. Got strict on my hours, illness policy and potty training policy. I still have issues with enforcing late payment fees, late pickup fees or letting someone switch a day here and there but overall things have gotten a lot better once I stuck up for myself.

[DaveA]

I had a bit of an advantage as I came from a center background. Over the years I watched centers that were consistent with policies both for staff and parents ran better than ones who didn't. When I was at one we had a situation where DCM thought it was DCD's weekend, DCD thought it was DCM's weekend, and both went out of town. This was before cell phones were common. It took 2 hours after closing to get ahold of a emergency contact.

In my home my worst was a DCM came it one evening saying she was having emergency surgery in the morning and DCD had to take her in. Could she please bring them at 5 (hour before I opened)? This DCM worked with my wife and I had cut her some slack a few times to make DW's life easier. I agreed thinking it was really a medical emergency. Grandma came and picked up that afternoon and didn't know what DCM had told me. Turns out the "emergency" was a boob job that had been scheduled for months. Let's just say the next conversation with DCPs was less than pleasant.

[MyAngels]

When I first opened I didn't even have set open and close hours. I would get up super early and not have anyone show up for hours (literally), and of course I never knew when they'd show up in the evening. Fortunately it didn't take me long to realize that was BS and fix it.

[boy_mom]

When I first opened I scheduled interviews during daycare hours. I had a family schedule a tour at 10am and they stayed for 5.5 HOURS!!! I knew within the first 15 minutes I didnt want them as clients but had no idea how to tell them to leave.

[Aussiedaycare]

When I first started 10 years ago the parents ruled the roost, told me what to do, when and how and I did as I was so frightened they would leave
4 years in I was broken, I would cry for an hour before starting work and I would cry for an hour when I finished. I hated my job SO much and I couldn't work out how to fix it.
At that time I was working two other jobs so I decided to take a few weeks off from daycare and live off the money from my other two jobs. I hadn't had a break or holiday since I started daycare and I was mentally and physically exhausted.
When I took that two weeks off I literally cried the entire two weeks as I was just so smashed to the ground. I was just coping with living off the small wages from my two part time jobs and I couldn't bare to go back to daycare so I extended my two weeks off to 6 months ::
I told all my current families I was closing for good and took the rest of the time to change my entire set up, do up contracts and work out whether this was really what I wanted to do 'forever' or if was only until my kids were grown.
I decided I would love my job if I could do it MY way so I reopened with new families, put my bitch pants on and haven't looked back ::

[Jdy2222]

I offered to watch a neighbor's child after her husband left the country to follow his heart. She worked as an overnight manager at WalMart and expected so much from me, including weekends and overnight care while the child slept in my bed with me with the tv on all night (nope - she had a mat on the floor, no tv).

My solution was to close entirely instead of putting my foot down (which was fine, but wouldn't have happened when it did if I'd been less "nice" to her)!

When I reopened, 6 years later, I committed to be firm to my policies and keep my own needs in check. Huge difference.

[Meeko]

I think many newbies (including myself 30+ years ago) get trapped into thinking that the parents own us and our time. That because they are paying..they get to dictate hours and policies.

When you "earn your wings" and grow that backbone...it's a beautiful thing!