Your Thoughts

[Ac114]

So I’ve had kind of a stressful evening and my emotions are running a little high. I just want to know if I’m over reacting or not.

I get this text from daycare mom:

“So DCG 3 said her wee wee is growing while pointing at her privates. We asked her where she heard it and she said DCB 2.5. I know you cant control what other kids say but can you keep your ear and try to prevent those kind of things. We arent real thrilled she is saying that. Its not your fault and we arent mad-just not appropriate for a 3 year old girl to say.”

The thing is, this girl lies all of the time. It’s always been about someone pushing her, taking toys away, to me putting her in time out everyday etc. The child she blamed it on has a speech delay and barely talks so I know it wasn’t him.
None of the other kids speak like that and are always in the same room no matter what. I’m worried it could potentially escalate to lying about something else.

Besides this incident this mom has also requested that I ask permission before I turn on any movie or show (we watched Moana and she flipped because DCG isn’t allowed to watch it)
She demanded that her child have a dairy free diet 2 months ago, as of this week she said she wanted to do away with afternoon nap. I don’t know, I’m just feeling annoyed with mom and like it’s affecting our client/provided relationship. I don’t want to just term but I’m feeling a little uneasy after that text.

[rosieteddy]

I personally would term.Wanting to change naptime,movie time and dairy free.Nope wouldn't work for me.You are not her employee ,she attends your program.I would send a notice and say that your program is no longer a good fit.If you have that in your contract that you can stop care ASAP I would.

[Homebody]

Has this family been with you long? If you can afford to term and can find a replacement easily, I would consider it. This mom sounds like a control freak and I think this will only get worse. And I would tell her there is no way dcb could of said that because of his speech delay.

[mamamanda]

I would lean towards terming too for liability reasons. Kids that intentionally lie make me very nervous. And mom seems overly controlling. I'm curious, does she happen to be religious? I ask b/c we have several friends who chose not to allow their children to watch Moana b/c it's pretty controversial from a Christian perspective. We chose to allow our children to watch it, but we watched it with them & answered a whole lot of questions afterward b/c our oldest in particular was very confused by some of the messages in the movie. I'm just wondering if maybe that would explain why she was so bothered by the movie. Is she ok with most other kids movies?

Ultimately you have to do what works best for you & your group. The fact that she wants to control so many things would be difficult for me to deal with. I definitely think you'll have more peace of mind if you term.

[Mike]

All 3 pp's have good points. I also agree that it would probably be in your best interest to let this one go. Smells like potential trouble to me.

[Ac114]

Yes they are as we are too. But we’ve also seen the movie with our children and had open dialogue about it. She’s very controlling and these are just the major things. There’s been smaller annoyances in the past. I just didn’t want to overact and see what others thought as well.

[Unregistered]

My knee jerk response would be:

You are right we can't control what children say, and I too am not thrilled she is saying what she is. I have kept my ear, and am aware that DCB is not yet capable of expressing what DCG has stated. I am unable to prevent a child from lying, and the only way I can prevent the risk and liability association with a young child's lies is to end our childcare agreement. It is not your fault and I am not mad - just it is not appropriate to keep a 3 year old child in care that is saying things that are not true.

[Josiegirl]

Is this child exposed to school age kids someplace? It sounds just like what my FT prek kids would bring into dc. It seems as soon as they enter larger classrooms, peers with older sibs, they start bringing home all kinds of things. I've never seen Moana so have no idea but can a child that young understand the hidden meanings that can sometimes be in kid movies? And is it a G movie? As far as the dairy requirement, did she have a good reason? Dr. ordered? Family lactose intolerant? Vegan? And no nap? Hah! Can't make them sleep but everyone needs a rest IMO. What does the child do when she gets home, watch TV? Or run around outside and play to tire herself out? I have an almost 5 yo that comes here after full day prek and she is so exhausted no one can be near her.
All in all, she does sound like she wants to be in control and in home dc is just not set up for special. If you had 6 dcks and everyone wanted special, yikes.

[Ac114]

Yes, she is exposed to older kids. She goes to grandmas house 2 days a week where her cousins also go and her oldest cousin is 5 and in an half day preschool program. I’m sure that’s where she heard it from. My group is infant to 4 but my 4 year old has not started preschool yet.

The Moana thing is because of the demi gods and they are Christian (so are we) and she said I was exposing her. She was 2.5 at the time and definitely wouldn’t understand it, my 4 year old doesn’t really grasp the full concept of the movie. But she came at me very strong about it.

The dairy thing is because she is having bowel issues and they are very hard. Mom thinks it’s because of dairy, not the fact that her diet consist of candy, lucky charm marshmallows and strawberry donuts every morning. But she’s only dairy free here not at home. They need to make sure she’s not having dairy here so they can monitor how much dairy she does have at home. It doesn’t make sense to me, you’re either dairy free or you aren’t but I don’t like the control factor over my menu.

This child always falls asleep everyday for at least 2.5 hours. I usually wake her up. Parents don’t want her napping anymore because they said they need relaxing time in the evening and she’s going to bed too late. I told them we have rest period and she doesn’t have to nap but I’m not going to entertain her so she doesn’t fall asleep.

[Josiegirl]

Yes, she is exposed to older kids. She goes to grandmas house 2 days a week where her cousins also go and her oldest cousin is 5 and in an half day preschool program. I’m sure that’s where she heard it from. My group is infant to 4 but my 4 year old has not started preschool yet.

The Moana thing is because of the demi gods and they are Christian (so are we) and she said I was exposing her. She was 2.5 at the time and definitely wouldn’t understand it, my 4 year old doesn’t really grasp the full concept of the movie. But she came at me very strong about it.

The dairy thing is because she is having bowel issues and they are very hard. Mom thinks it’s because of dairy, not the fact that her diet consist of candy, lucky charm marshmallows and strawberry donuts every morning. But she’s only dairy free here not at home. They need to make sure she’s not having dairy here so they can monitor how much dairy she does have at home. It doesn’t make sense to me, you’re either dairy free or you aren’t but I don’t like the control factor over my menu.

This child always falls asleep everyday for at least 2.5 hours. I usually wake her up. Parents don’t want her napping anymore because they said they need relaxing time in the evening and she’s going to bed too late. I told them we have rest period and she doesn’t have to nap but I’m not going to entertain her so she doesn’t fall asleep.

Just no. Too much special. Especially the nap and dairy issues. It's okay for you to modify the whole group(no nap for 1 would create a whole bunch of issues) for 1 dck but for her to not do dairy at home, to do HER part?? Uhuh. Did you mention junk food can definitely cause problems too?? I would no long work around her wants. And if she's too bit@hy about it I'd use the 'my program no longer fits your needs'. I bet you'd see a back pedal very quickly.

[Jamie]

The only thing here that makes sense to me is the movie. I think it's reasonable for a parent to want to know what movies/shows their kids are watching.

Dairy free diet, but they feed her dairy and crappy food at home?? No way! Lazy parents!

Blaming you for the explicit speech? No way! Even if she heard it at your place, what are you supposed to do? Duct tape all the kids' mouths to make sure nobody says anything like that, ever? Kids say inappropriate things, and parents have to deal with it!

No naps? No way!

What worries me the most is a parent who seems to believe more of what her 3 yo says than what you say. That can end VERY badly!! Regardless if they intend to lie or not, little kids say a LOT of weird things, and they have NO concept of the consequences. HUGE red flag!

[LysesKids]

Yes, she is exposed to older kids. She goes to grandmas house 2 days a week where her cousins also go and her oldest cousin is 5 and in an half day preschool program. I’m sure that’s where she heard it from. My group is infant to 4 but my 4 year old has not started preschool yet.

The Moana thing is because of the demi gods and they are Christian (so are we) and she said I was exposing her. She was 2.5 at the time and definitely wouldn’t understand it, my 4 year old doesn’t really grasp the full concept of the movie. But she came at me very strong about it.

The dairy thing is because she is having bowel issues and they are very hard. Mom thinks it’s because of dairy, not the fact that her diet consist of candy, lucky charm marshmallows and strawberry donuts every morning. But she’s only dairy free here not at home. They need to make sure she’s not having dairy here so they can monitor how much dairy she does have at home. It doesn’t make sense to me, you’re either dairy free or you aren’t but I don’t like the control factor over my menu.

This child always falls asleep everyday for at least 2.5 hours. I usually wake her up. Parents don’t want her napping anymore because they said they need relaxing time in the evening and she’s going to bed too late. I told them we have rest period and she doesn’t have to nap but I’m not going to entertain her so she doesn’t fall asleep.

If you are on the food program she can't control what you serve without a Dr's written paper work specifying the allergy and I wouldn't do it especially if mom isn't doing same at home... two, the lying thing would bother me as would mom trying to control everything. As was said, just tell parents that your program isn't a good fit for their family anymore and give them a term notice. I wouldn't want the liability

[storybookending]

All of these issues individually would probably be something that I would try hard to make work out. All of them from the same mom? Next!

[Ac114]

All of these issues individually would probably be something that I would try hard to make work out. All of them from the same mom? Next!

That’s how I feel. I’ve complied with all of the requests (except the nap) and but I’m just feeling burnt out by it.

[rosieteddy]

I would term today.Sounds like they could just send her to Grandmothers house.No way would I keep her.I required a report saying a child was allergic before stopping dairy.Not a Dr. note but a report.The lying ,nap and movie issue are theother reasons.