Big Toy Drama

[Unregistered]

How do you handle fighting over the use of large play equipment, such as kitchens or activity tables? It’s a very young group but I have one DCG who will push the other babies away from anything or literally try to lay across it so that no other hands can reach any part of it, regardless of who was playing there first. She will shriek the entire time she is “protecting” the item. These pieces are too large to remove from the equation and I want to teach them that they can use these items together. They are all around 12 months. DCG takes toys all day long and I return the stolen (small) toy to the victim.

[knoxmomof2]

That's a tough one with kids that little, at least for me. I've never had 2 that little at the same time. With older kids, I set a limit of how many kids can be at that toy playing at a time, based on logistics. If I see a way they can all play, I suggest it and get involved if it doesn't resolve itself.

With littles, you can set in your mind how many kids it is reasonable to play there, tell them "no no, only 2 kids at the kitchen" (just for language development) and then redirect the 3rd child/ suggest a new toy until one of the other children are done.

With this particular girl, I would be much more watchful of her behavior since she has more aggressive tendencies. If she's shrieking and being physical, I would move her to something else honestly. She's probably going to throw a fit, and that's okay.

[Unregistered]

With this particular girl, I would be much more watchful of her behavior since she has more aggressive tendencies. If she's shrieking and being physical, I would move her to something else honestly. She's probably going to throw a fit, and that's okay.

Often times, she’ll be playing with a piece of equipment and another baby will approach her and the shrieking and body maneuvering will commence. Would you remove her from the situation even if she was playing with the toy first?

[midaycare]

Often times, she’ll be playing with a piece of equipment and another baby will approach her and the shrieking and body maneuvering will commence. Would you remove her from the situation even if she was playing with the toy first?

I teach my older ones that it is their job to be nice to the babies. I teach that babies don't understand what they are doing and it is up to us to help them problem solve and share with them.

If an older child can't do this, yes, they get removed.

I also work with them on how to deal with annoying baby behavior.

[Unregistered]

If an older child can't do this, yes, they get removed.

I don’t have any older children...I have four that range from 10 months to 13 months. The DCG in question is almost 12 months. 😬

[CalCare]

I would tell dcg, "this toy kitchen is for everyone to use at the same time. If you can't use it together without shrieking or blocking other people, then you will have to find another area to play".. them i'd give her a moment. Then she will obviously do it again then I would tell her "you are having a hard time using that toy without shrieking or blocking others, so you need to now find another area to play" when she doesn't leave on her own accord, because she wont, I would tell her, "do you need me to help you move to another area?" (As in, move to another area or I will move you). When she doesn't move, move her by holding her hand and actually picking her up and moving her if needed. Not to a time out or a punishment or isolation. Just to another area of fun. As you do it, say, "I am helping you move to the doll house. You can try the kitchen again later" don't dwell on a lecture or anything.
After awhile she can try again. She might have a fit that you moved her. Let her. Tell her "you really wanted to play in the kitchen". Just state the facts of what you see. Don't lecture and don't talk about what she has to do to "earn" it or anything. When she goes back, do all those same exact things again. Consistent limits. No punishment, yes consequences. That's what I try to do. Of course there are other days, when I don't do these quite as planned because I get sick of things I feel like I have to state this every time I give any advice/comments on things. I'm not saying I do it this way, every time, without fail. I'm saying, this is what I believe is best! Good luck

[CalCare]

Using these words, my kids are all well aware of what I mean when I say, "do you want me to help you xxx?" (Get in your car seat? Wash your hands? Lie down on your mat? Get down from that table? Etc ) And they almost always just do the thing without going to the next step of me helping.

[midaycare]

I don’t have any older children...I have four that range from 10 months to 13 months. The DCG in question is almost 12 months. 😬

How do you get through a day??? Haha, kidding. That's challenging though!

[Unregistered]

How do you get through a day??? Haha, kidding. That's challenging though!

Sometimes I wonder!

[Jamie]

I would remove her. Shrieking = removal. I don't tolerante screaming or shrieking.

[Blackcat31]

I would remove her. Shrieking = removal. I don't tolerante screaming or shrieking.

This^^ Rinse and repeat.

Same with any unwanted behavior.
If she shrieks or tries to covet, I would remove.
I would use words every time like CalCare said and just have the same response/action every time. Eventually she will learn she must share or she does not get to play.

[Cat Herder]

With that age group I use parallel play during free play times. I have each individual play area set up with a variety of toys based on that childs needs, abilities and level of interaction with their current environment (ex: if a particular child is really into blocks, he/she gets more varieties of blocks). It allows uninterrupted free play and discovery. I rotate the bigger equipment from one gated area to another during the week so each has their own time with it. (This could be accomplished by moving the children to the different areas, instead of moving the equipment as well. For me, It would just require more decon per day. I rarely have more then 3 under 2 so setting them up in their own "rooms" works better for me.)

I only have younger ones together during small group activities that I lead.

[Unregistered]

With that age group I use parallel play during free play times. I have each individual play area set up with a variety of toys based on that childs needs, abilities and level of interaction with their current environment (ex: if a particular child is really into blocks, he/she gets more varieties of blocks). It allows uninterrupted free play and discovery. I rotate the bigger equipment from one gated area to another during the week so each has their own time with it. (This could be accomplished by moving the children to the different areas, instead of moving the equipment as well. For me, It would just require more decon per day. I rarely have more then 3 under 2 so setting them up in their own "rooms" works better for me.)

I only have younger ones together during small group activities that I lead.

You have areas physically closed off from each other? Man, I wish I had room to do that? These babies are always right on top of each other...

I tried some of the suggestions above with shrieking DCG today and, while she definitely doesn’t like it, it did seem to keep things more peaceful for the other littles. The hardest part is that once removed, she repeatedly speeds back to whatever she was just removed from...so it’s very frustrating to do over and over! She’ll just keep doing it until the baby playing with the item she wants moves on to something else. Then she goes after the next item being enjoyed. It’s so exhausting chasing her around! I’ll stick with it though and hope to see some behavioral improvement from her.

[Unregistered]

Eventually she will learn she must share or she does not get to play.

By “does not get to play”, do you just mean to relocate to a different area of play? Or do you mean an area where she can’t play at all, like a time out in a pack n play?

[Unregistered]

I would remove her. Shrieking = removal. I don't tolerante screaming or shrieking.

For clarification, where would you remove her to? Just another area of play?