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Background: 3 weeks ago I started a 3mo dcb who is only here 3 afternoons a week. He sleeps solely in a swing at home. He will not sleep here unless I rock him, and even then, as soon as I put him down he screams. If I pick him back up he will go right back to sleep and wake again as soon as I lay him down again. I've done this cycle as many as 5 times in one day. He is fine until he gets tired, but when he's tired, he will spend the rest of the afternoon screaming. Sometimes that's 10 minutes after he gets here. After speaking to people here, the consensus was that he will never learn to sleep here since he is here so little time every week, without the parents committing to trying at home. So, after listening to him scream for the better part of the afternoon, for the 3rd day in a row, I drafted a letter to the parents. If anyone would read the letter and give me feedback, I would really appreciate it!!
Here it is:
As you know, I have been having a lot of issues getting R to sleep when he’s tired. I’ve spoken to you about how upset he gets and how much he cries when he’s here, when he gets tired. We’ve discussed how I cannot let him nap in a swing, and how rocking him will get him to sleep but as soon as I lay him down he will start crying again and will not stop until I pick him up and rock him to sleep. Then the cycle starts over again. I have other children in my care and cannot rock him for his entire nap. This is very disruptive to others who are trying to nap, and obviously very upsetting for R.
In order for me to continue to provide care for R, he needs to be able to sleep without the use of motion. With him being here for only a few short hours a week, he will not “learn” to put himself to sleep flat without motion here when he is not used to it at home. In order for him to learn this it will take the cooperation of both of you and myself working together. If this is something you are willing to work on, I am willing to help here also. Please take the weekend to talk things over and let me know on Monday what you have decided. If we are all working on it together, it shouldn’t take more than a few weeks for him to learn this. I’m willing to add a few more weeks to the trial period if this is something you would like to do. We can re-evaluate on Feb 10. If you decide that you are not comfortable with this, then please let this letter serve as your 2 week notice, and care will end on Thursday, February 10, 2011.
Here it is:
As you know, I have been having a lot of issues getting R to sleep when he’s tired. I’ve spoken to you about how upset he gets and how much he cries when he’s here, when he gets tired. We’ve discussed how I cannot let him nap in a swing, and how rocking him will get him to sleep but as soon as I lay him down he will start crying again and will not stop until I pick him up and rock him to sleep. Then the cycle starts over again. I have other children in my care and cannot rock him for his entire nap. This is very disruptive to others who are trying to nap, and obviously very upsetting for R.
In order for me to continue to provide care for R, he needs to be able to sleep without the use of motion. With him being here for only a few short hours a week, he will not “learn” to put himself to sleep flat without motion here when he is not used to it at home. In order for him to learn this it will take the cooperation of both of you and myself working together. If this is something you are willing to work on, I am willing to help here also. Please take the weekend to talk things over and let me know on Monday what you have decided. If we are all working on it together, it shouldn’t take more than a few weeks for him to learn this. I’m willing to add a few more weeks to the trial period if this is something you would like to do. We can re-evaluate on Feb 10. If you decide that you are not comfortable with this, then please let this letter serve as your 2 week notice, and care will end on Thursday, February 10, 2011.
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