At What Age Should Children Start Wiping Their Own Bottoms?

[Play Care]

When they are older 2, young 3 and just finishing being potty trained, I will assist. However there comes a point where my assistance is just looking to see if THEY need to wipe more. Like a pp mentioned, I do find that kids start to become embarrassed if I have to wipe them after a certain point in the potty training process.

On a side note, Last year I had a child who was going through a not wiping well phase. One night at pick up as he came over to me and his parents (we had been outside) it was clear he had a BM and had not wiped well (since we were outside I hadn't caught it to send him back to the bathroom) and dad said to me "I've told him to ask for help if he needs wiping" To which I replied "Dad' he's *FIVE* and off to K in one week, They won't wipe him at school, he has to learn how to do it"
That seemed to sink in, because there have been no issues since. But honestly at that age/stage? He didn't want me in the bathroom with him and certainly not wiping him. That's not to say I wouldn't have had he truly needed assistance. But in this case it was being in a rush to get back to playing.

[jenboo]

I start teaching them when they are potty training. They will always wipe first and I will check after and assist when needed (tell them they need to wipe more). Once they have a clean bottom after a few times, I stop checking.
Usually when you are learning some thing it takes a while to perfect it. I don't expect children to get it perfect the first time and I won't let them walk around with a itchy stinky but.

[Mike]

Agreed!

I have them try, and then do a check wipe until they're proficient. Usually happens fast, but that depends on the kid...(and the BM) ::

:: Yup

Had to help a 7 yo once. We were at a church camp and he got diarrhea. I brought his mom and here 5 kids and half way through, he tells mom he has to poop and can't hold it. I find out he had a bit of diarrhea the previous day. His mom asks me to take him to the bathroom which was a good distance from where we were camping. His bigger brother came with us. We get half way there and he stops and says he can't walk anymore. I figure we have to get him there, so pick him up to carry him the rest of the way. About 10 feet away, (where's the barf smilie)

I put him down fast, then carried him by the arms the rest of the way. We spend half an hour in the bathroom cleaning him, his clothes, and the bathroom floor, while his brother goes back to tell his mom what happened. Had to put his pants and underwear in the sink, clean him up, entire bottom half of body, then he waited in the stall while I cleaned his clothes so he can put something back on. Used a pile of toilet paper, paper towels, and soap, went back to mommy, and I took them back home.

[Controlled Chaos]

If you are my SIL "When they are emotionally and spiritually ready" ::

Me - I teach them as we start sitting on the potty around 18m. Girls easily wipe after going pee by 2-2.5 and for BMs - all kids wipe themselves between 2.5-3. Though I did have one kid with weird short arms - I helped him until 3.5, kid could not reach AT ALL

[Play Care]

I want to point out that there is a world of difference between a child who is ill (diarrhea) and one who just needs to learn to wipe better. I'm willing to bet ALL caregivers would do what you do if an older child needed it.

(I know what you meant but felt that needed to be highlighted before an unregistered comes along and starts bashing... )

:: Yup

Had to help a 7 yo once. We were at a church camp and he got diarrhea. I brought his mom and here 5 kids and half way through, he tells mom he has to poop and can't hold it. I find out he had a bit of diarrhea the previous day. His mom asks me to take him to the bathroom which was a good distance from where we were camping. His bigger brother came with us. We get half way there and he stops and says he can't walk anymore. I figure we have to get him there, so pick him up to carry him the rest of the way. About 10 feet away, (where's the barf smilie)

I put him down fast, then carried him by the arms the rest of the way. We spend half an hour in the bathroom cleaning him, his clothes, and the bathroom floor, while his brother goes back to tell his mom what happened. Had to put his pants and underwear in the sink, clean him up, entire bottom half of body, then he waited in the stall while I cleaned his clothes so he can put something back on. Used a pile of toilet paper, paper towels, and soap, went back to mommy, and I took them back home.

[nanglgrl]

I want to point out that there is a world of difference between a child who is ill (diarrhea) and one who just needs to learn to wipe better. I'm willing to bet ALL caregivers would do what you do if an older child needed it.

(I know what you meant but felt that needed to be highlighted before an unregistered comes along and starts bashing... )

Good call! I would also help a child with diarrhea (but I'd also be calling the parents to pick up). I will check a child's bottom when they're new to potty training (or if they haven't been allowed to wipe themselves and are new to it) and I will tell them if they need to wipe more and demonstrate how but I don't physically wipe them once they're wearing underwear. I'm all about teaching self help skills here.

[Mom2Two]

I still help four year olds if they're not doing a good job, but I've noticed that I'm not as in a hurry about potty training as other providers.

Having said that, I still have to help my six year old, but that's because she has some strength and coordination issues.

But it's also because I'm picky about clean bottoms. Two seems so young to expect much as far as clean bottom wiping.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

I still help four year olds if they're not doing a good job, but I've noticed that I'm not as in a hurry about potty training as other providers.

Having said that, I still have to help my six year old, but that's because she has some strength and coordination issues.

But it's also because I'm picky about clean bottoms. Two seems so young to expect much as far as clean bottom wiping.

I agree. I am in no rush to potty training and most of my kids don't even start till 3 or later. The earliest was 2.5, but I helped him wipe for awhile. Since him, almost 10 years ago now, I haven't had a kid who is ACTUALLY potty trained before the age of 3, so by the time they start using the toilet, they are old enough and coordinated enough to do the wiping themselves. (I help when needed)

[knoxmomof2]

For me, it's part of potty training, but I watch their coordination and check behind them at first. Also, their persistence. Some kids will give it 1 wipe and be done. Others will go until the TP is clean. So, it's all based on the child's ability and I step in as needed but it's always in a teaching and supplemental way instead of in a way that negates their need to try. Obviously big messes warrant full involvement from the provider. Yeesh!

[Mike]

I want to point out that there is a world of difference between a child who is ill (diarrhea) and one who just needs to learn to wipe better. I'm willing to bet ALL caregivers would do what you do if an older child needed it.

(I know what you meant but felt that needed to be highlighted before an unregistered comes along and starts bashing... )

Thanks
There may be wrong impressions from that. If he were at home, it would have been very different. He would take a shower and his mom would do the laundry, but he was at a public park, and in a restroom that only had 2 toilet stalls and one sink, and he had no change of clothes, so it was a bit awkward for him. It also makes a difference that I babysat those kids when he was still in diapers, so it's not like I've never cleaned him up before, but it had been a few years.

[Mike]

For me, it's part of potty training, but I watch their coordination and check behind them at first. Also, their persistence. Some kids will give it 1 wipe and be done. Others will go until the TP is clean. So, it's all based on the child's ability and I step in as needed but it's always in a teaching and supplemental way instead of in a way that negates their need to try. Obviously big messes warrant full involvement from the provider. Yeesh!

Yup
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