I'm Just Going to Come Right Out and Say It

[Ariana]

Boy have I been there!! I am sure we all have at some point. I honestly think, for me anyway, it was my expectations.

Expectations - reality = STRESS

Lower your expectations. Stop doing things for parents and start doing them for you. Those complicated art projects? I don't do them! The reality is that most parents don't care and see us as warehouses for their kids during the day so they can work. If you go into it with this lowered expectation it will make things so much easier on you. I do the bare minimum and I do what I think is important in my program which is PLAY!

Huge hugs to you!

[spud912]

Believe me, I know how you feel. Some days I feel like, wow I wish I could take a "mental health day" today. The thing is, I think most providers get to this point. As a matter of fact, I think we all get there several times. It seems to come in waves. Some days it's ok (usually early in the week for me) then by Thursday, I'm spent!

I don't know how much comfort it is to know that so many of go through this, but we do! I haven't read the threads like you, probably because I think it might depress me more, but try to find ways to get away from the child care environment. Don't talk about the childcare kids or anything to do with the business whenever you can. I try to get all business related chores done during the week so I can take the weekend off. See if that helps.

One last thing, try to enjoy your vacation and even fit in quiet moments for yourself. Bookmark those moments so you can pull on those memories when your week is stressful.

Thank you! We will definitely be enjoying the vacation!

Do you think you can afford to hire am assistant maybe a few days a week ? You could really get what you need done while she helps with the children ? Maybe mornings and she leaves during nap and you have the energy to tackle the afternoon. Perhaps you can charge more since the ratio is better.

I'm really thinking about doing this! If at the least, I would like the ability to be more active in my daughters' school next year and having an assistant would allow me to do just that!

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way Spud. Burn out is probably the worst part of our profession.

If you ever need an ear to vent to or bounce ideas off of, we aren't too far from one another

Hope you enjoy your vacation!

We should get together for a break sometime, seriously . I'm not normally a sap...actually very positive haha!

Im sorry you are feeling burnt out Spud.

I wish I had advice for you but this is one area I am lacking. These posts always make me question my sanity...! I have been doing this a long time too and I've never felt burnt out or like I want to quit.

Do I want to work...nah, who really does but this is still by far the best job I've ever had so I just keep trucking along.

I wish I wish I had some tips or strategies to offer you....other than taking (and in some cases stealing) some time for YOU....I don't think there is much more you can do that you haven't already done.


If you lived closer...I'd take your girls in a heartbeat...

Definitely hoping that you find some peace and less stress during your vacation time. Also hoping the time does not fly by for you and you get enough time to really relax.

YOU DESERVE IT!!!!

Hang in there and if you need anything (an ear, a shoulder, a sounding board...) you know you are always welcome to PM me any time!

Thanks, Blackcat! I think a lot of the discontention with many providers (me included) is doing child care out of our home and trying to balance our own young children in addition to the daycare children. I won't be the first to say that our youngest daughter has been wearing us thin lately! Thank you so much for always listening to my rants haha!

I can honestly say the best thing I ever did for myself was go to a 4 day work week. Is part time care in demand in your area?? Since you are replacing so many kids maybe it is a good time to look at that possibility? I only had 2 kids that came on Fridays (when my enrollment was full at 5 kids all other days) and when that mom got Fridays off and still wanted to send them I said no. It was hard because I was afraid to lose them but they stayed and I feel soooo much happier with this job since! I had done this job 5 days a week for 14 years, I can honestly say doing 4 days a week I can do it for a lot more years than if I had stayed at 5 days/wk.

I wish that was an option! It probably would be possible, but 2 of my families (my current dck who will stay and the younger sibling of one of my current dck's) needs 45-50 hours per week Monday through Friday.

I am right there with you, spud! I have done some things for my daycare which makes some days better but there is always that one day of the week where I want to QUIT!!!!

I realize I can't make the money I make anywhere else and I REALLY like being my own boss....but still find it difficult some days to ENJOY my job.

I am off after today through Tuesday and I am sooooo looking forward to it! Spending five days on the water will, hopefully, be relaxing with my own family and some of my extended family.

Only words I have for you is to HANG IN THERE! It seems my hanging thread is also thin but I am still HANGING

Yay for long weekends!!

Many, many hugs. I'm working through similar feelings. :hug:

Definitely stealing time away during a time you "should" be working helps...I went to the bank at their nap time Monday and left my husband (who is licensed with me) in charge. Oh my how that 45 minutes helped. I felt like I was free.
Perhaps you can do something similar once a week for a short while?

I remember your post a couple of weeks ago and have been feeling the same way!

Boy have I been there!! I am sure we all have at some point. I honestly think, for me anyway, it was my expectations.

Expectations - reality = STRESS

Lower your expectations. Stop doing things for parents and start doing them for you. Those complicated art projects? I don't do them! The reality is that most parents don't care and see us as warehouses for their kids during the day so they can work. If you go into it with this lowered expectation it will make things so much easier on you. I do the bare minimum and I do what I think is important in my program which is PLAY!

Huge hugs to you!

This is a huge thing that I think I have a problem with! I have very high expectations for myself and honestly believe that parents expect the same out of me that I expect out of myself. The truth is that they really don't care that much. Or they care about things I think are no big deal. The proof in the pudding was Mother's Day when 1/2 the mothers didn't even mention receiving the gift, let alone liking it. I spent a ton of time helping the kids with it .... for what? Ugh, that really has played a part in my feelings about this job lately and I need to stop it. Either do the crafts/preschool stuff with the mindset that it's for the kids and I will get NO NOTICE from the parents OR just stop doing it altogether.

[spud912]

Thank you everyone for your thoughtful replies. I'm feeling much better today. And yes, it does come in waves. This is not the first time I've felt unmotivated/unappreciated and had a disdain for this job. But then in a few months I'm sure I'll be doing great and will be totally into it. I especially get this way when I'm about to go through a huge change (like most everyone leaving).

I'm normally a very positive person so luckily these moods are very fleeting ::.

[Mom2Two]

Boy have I been there!! I am sure we all have at some point. I honestly think, for me anyway, it was my expectations.

Expectations - reality = STRESS

Lower your expectations. Stop doing things for parents and start doing them for you. Those complicated art projects? I don't do them! The reality is that most parents don't care and see us as warehouses for their kids during the day so they can work. If you go into it with this lowered expectation it will make things so much easier on you. I do the bare minimum and I do what I think is important in my program which is PLAY!

Huge hugs to you!

This is really good advice, although I think that someone who didn't understand might take it the wrong way. The most important things are that the children are safe and well and that they have a great environment to explore and play in. And it's important that we providers don't hate our job! And that means balancing things so that we dont' burn out!

Sometimes I have interviews where it feels like I'm under a microscope, but those seem to be parents with only one child who are reading some "What to look for in a good daycare" checklist from Parenting magazine that really only would apply to a center.

Kids need a low pressure environment more than overly structured and planned out.

[Ariana]

This is really good advice, although I think that someone who didn't understand might take it the wrong way. The most important things are that the children are safe and well and that they have a great environment to explore and play in. And it's important that we providers don't hate our job! And that means balancing things so that we dont' burn out!

Sometimes I have interviews where it feels like I'm under a microscope, but those seem to be parents with only one child who are reading some "What to look for in a good daycare" checklist from Parenting magazine that really only would apply to a center.

Kids need a low pressure environment more than overly structured and planned out.

I meant the bare minimum for the parents, not the kids! Hopefully that didn't come across as harsh

Exactly what you described, a fun atmosphere, less structure, more play and a chance to be kids. I agree that many parents seem super keen in interviews and then flake out about a month in.

[Nurse Jackie]

Spud I can relate

[Annalee]

I meant the bare minimum for the parents, not the kids! Hopefully that didn't come across as harsh

Exactly what you described, a fun atmosphere, less structure, more play and a chance to be kids. I agree that many parents seem super keen in interviews and then flake out about a month in.

I feel providers can set up the environment where adult interaction can be to a minimum. My issue that drives me nuts is the parents. I have 3 that mentally drain me at drop off with the drama of me noticing every thing about their child. This week I started something different. At drop-off, I offered few words and and encouraged the child to enter which the child did. The three "way out there" parents were hollering "show ms.xxx your xxxx and your xxxx and your xxxx"....I just ignored and the parents left with a deer in the headlights look::::

[Ariana]

I feel providers can set up the environment where adult interaction can be to a minimum. My issue that drives me nuts is the parents. I have 3 that mentally drain me at drop off with the drama of me noticing every thing about their child. This week I started something different. At drop-off, I offered few words and and encouraged the child to enter which the child did. The three "way out there" parents were hollering "show ms.xxx your xxxx and your xxxx and your xxxx"....I just ignored and the parents left with a deer in the headlights look::::

I have these exact parents. They ask their kid a million questions in my doorway. She is TWO!!! they are like "tell Ariana who we saw on the weekend" and the kid will grunt 50 different "words" which they interpret as people and say "no", "no" "who else did we see". UGH. Kill me now! ::
I usually interrupt it by saying "ah well she will tell me later I am sure"

[daycarediva]

I have these exact parents. They ask their kid a million questions in my doorway. She is TWO!!! they are like "tell Ariana who we saw on the weekend" and the kid will grunt 50 different "words" which they interpret as people and say "no", "no" "who else did we see". UGH. Kill me now! ::
I usually interrupt it by saying "ah well she will tell me later I am sure"

I say "I can't wait to hear all about it at circle time!" take the child's hand and wave. ::

I am going through a similar rut. I am SERIOUSLY debating being done in Sept. I adore 3/4 kids staying on after summer, but I am dreading the new kids coming in. Retraining bad habits with both kids and parents sounds awful to me right now. I really want to replace one of the dcg's staying on, but that means replacing the child who is opposite her space who I love (both PT, share one space).

I am taking a class right now to do a work at home job. It's a significant pay cut, which is the biggest issue for me.

I tried cutting back hours by a significant amount.
I terminated the kids/parents that were making me crazy.
I changed up my entire set up, indoors and out.
I STOPPED doing anything I didn't want to do. Eg. crafts, special days, etc.

It's not working. I'm not miserable, but I dread my days. I don't plan anything because my crew is younger and anything tends to be messy and lasts for just a few minutes.

My next changes will be- raising rates (incoming clients have the new rates already, current will get them in Sept)
I will only be providing snacks. No more breakfast and lunches. I am hiring a part time assistant to give me a random day off during the week and/or cut back on my hours further. My favorite of those I interviewed works M-Th 6-2:30 at a center. She could do all day Friday and/or 2:30-5 M-Th.

I've considered doing both daycare with the assistant and the WAH job, or keeping daycare going until I see if I like the wah thing and then deciding.

[Annalee]

I have these exact parents. They ask their kid a million questions in my doorway. She is TWO!!! they are like "tell Ariana who we saw on the weekend" and the kid will grunt 50 different "words" which they interpret as people and say "no", "no" "who else did we see". UGH. Kill me now! ::
I usually interrupt it by saying "ah well she will tell me later I am sure"

I am going to borrow this "line" for when I return after my long weekend. I have one parent I can't wait to use it on!::::::

[MotherNature]

Totally understand. I did the stereotypical 2 yrs and out thing. It's hard with young ones of your own and others there too. The parents anymore are clueless and rude. I don't blame you at all for wanting to get out.

[Unregistered]

I'm right there with you spud! I'm dying to quit! This job is too much stress. Constantly trying to please the parents and the kids. Worried about crafts and sending the parents their daily updates and pictures. God forbid they don't get a picture. I get a text asking "how's so and so" like where is my picture? Maybe I'm super busy and did not have time to take pictures! We normally take one week off during summer break so I can vacation with my husband and 2 kids. I found out I will have to take an additional 4 days in July. I am dreading telling one mom because she is going to have a fit. They can take off whenever they feel like it! I don't think I will last much longer or I'm going to end up in the insane asylum. I don't understand these providers who work 24/7 and "love their job and the kids" I think they try to make themselves feel better anout their miserable situation.

[Dilley Beans]

Look at all the stuff you get to write off as expenses of your business, your time space for mortgage interest, gas, electric, water, garbage, etc. Those are based on space used and time, not number of children. What's wrong with having just a couple of kids for a few months, or just the 1 you have coming back? You still get all these deductibles from your family income, that savings for my family was huge in 2015, we had to pay only slightly more foe them than if i didn't have my business, I get to stay home withy children, etc. Lots of wins for staying in business.

You can take a little break and come back in January to start enrolling kids.

Also, you have the opportunity to pick and choose what children you enroll. Tired of potty training, only accept 4 yr olds +. Tired of working Fridays, only advertise as M to Th. Working too early to too late, change your hours and only enroll those that fit.

If I had a clean slate right now I'd be closing at 4:30 and opening at 7:30, 3 of my current 6 couldn't fit that bill, but if they leave for some reason, that's all I'm enrolling if I can help it.

[spud912]

Look at all the stuff you get to write off as expenses of your business, your time space for mortgage interest, gas, electric, water, garbage, etc. Those are based on space used and time, not number of children. What's wrong with having just a couple of kids for a few months, or just the 1 you have coming back? You still get all these deductibles from your family income, that savings for my family was huge in 2015, we had to pay only slightly more foe them than if i didn't have my business, I get to stay home withy children, etc. Lots of wins for staying in business.

You can take a little break and come back in January to start enrolling kids.

Also, you have the opportunity to pick and choose what children you enroll. Tired of potty training, only accept 4 yr olds +. Tired of working Fridays, only advertise as M to Th. Working too early to too late, change your hours and only enroll those that fit.

If I had a clean slate right now I'd be closing at 4:30 and opening at 7:30, 3 of my current 6 couldn't fit that bill, but if they leave for some reason, that's all I'm enrolling if I can help it.

I wish we could, but we rely on this income. In fact, I have a new bill coming out in August for the next 9 months that will be large.

It's fine....I'm working through these feelings. Like someone mentioned before, it comes in waves. I'll be back to myself in no time ;-). Plus, my vacation is in 3 weeks happyface!

[Annalee]

I wish we could, but we rely on this income. In fact, I have a new bill coming out in August for the next 9 months that will be large.

It's fine....I'm working through these feelings. Like someone mentioned before, it comes in waves. I'll be back to myself in no time ;-). Plus, my vacation is in 3 weeks happyface!

I do think it comes in waves as well....I had a provider tell me last week if she closed as much as me, her parents would have a stroke....I told her if I didn't close as much as I did, I would have a stroke:: She was referring to my extra closings that follow the local school system excluding summer....I told her I need those days and it gives me a day or two each month that I can look forward to.