I'm Just Going to Come Right Out and Say It

[spud912]

I'm burnt out. I am checked out! It's been a slow progression, but I feel like I'm done. I am sick of not making a profit and getting my family out of a financial slump (caused by opening the daycare). I'm sick of trying to live up to the expectations of parents. I'm sick of the lack of appreciation or the fact that the parents don't even notice when I do work miracles and do spectacular things. I'm really sick of the lack of communication. All of my kids are leaving in August except for 1 and I DREAD having to start over. It will be months more of potty training, getting children accustomed to napping, getting children accustomed to somethings called manners and respect, dealing with picky eaters, getting new parents on par with communicating and following policies without questioning them.

If it weren't for the fact that my youngest is under the age of 2, I would quit in August. As it is, we are having to pay $350 a month starting in August to pay for all-day kindergarten for my middle daughter.....with any job I wouldn't be able to afford child care and schooling for 2 children.

I have a week-long vacation coming up at the end of June. It's been planned for 2 years already so I can't change plans. I know myself and I will not come back feeling refreshed......9 days in the car with 3 kids (ages 1, 5 and 7) and my dh will not make me feel more ready to do this job when I come back.

I did the other suggestions on the burnout thread, like change things up a bit. I just re-did our whole backyard and while I love it, it didn't regenerate the love for this job.

[Controlled Chaos]

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

[Michael]

You are not alone. That is one of our biggest TAGS: https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.php?tag=burnt+out

[Mandy]

Hugs sent your way :hug: I am not sure if this helps, but it will at least help with the vacation thing. With the car trip, I say keep it simple. When my sister and I were younger, we would go on vacations with our family, and we would always stop at a rest stop every one and a half to two hours for a bathroom break. Mom always told us to bring fun games and books for the road. We also played car bingo where we would always try to find all fifty states in the license plates (For example, when I saw a Wisconsin license plate, I marked Wisconsin off). We also had snacks in the car. Crackers and soda were a life saver . We also just talked to each other about stuff. My younger sister liked talking about food and cats ::. Overall, doing some of these things kept our family together while we were on the road . We also had a no yelling rule in the car (because it was dangerous for dad, who was driving the car ) . I hope this does not sound rude (and if it does, I am sorry in advance :hug: ) , but instead of seeing the negatives, turn this vacation into a series of positives . You are spending time with your family outside of the house, and all of you are exploring the city that you are traveling to together . To me, vacations are always about having fun exploring the city. Vacations are also about putting problems from home on a shelf and enjoying the moment . Whenever I go on vacation, I leave a sticky note on my television with the things I need to do when I get back written down . When I get back from vacation, I feel refreshed enough to tackle the items I wrote down happyface. There is no right or wrong way to vacation, but please try your best to have fun :hug: .

As for the daycare aspect in starting over in August, I also say keep it simple. Communication is key. The crazy thing is we can tell someone what they need to do, and it is up to that person to follow through. For example, Daycare provider tells Suzy Jane (Pretend DCP) that her daughter Tiffany (Pretend DCG) has had a bad day hitting other kids. Suzy Jane is given advice on how to address the behavior. Now this next part is on Suzy Jane. She can either address Tiffany's behavior, or ignore the advice. Most of the time, the parents are hopefully on board in helping their kids behave better, but then there are the some of the time parents who are in denial about the situation. If we give the "some of the time" parents advice, over and over again, and they still do not "get it" , that can definitely be frustrating, and the best thing that can happen is either that family is termed, or somehow, we get the kid to behave better while they are here even while the parent is in denial. Know that if the parent does not get on board after you give them advice, it is not your fault. This is on them. The most important thing is you are giving your best effort with your kids, and the kids in your care, and that is what truly matters here lovethis .

As for your DH, he needs to be on board with you, and be your back up. I am not sure why he is not helping you, but without me being nosy on the reason, I should just say that he should at least be ready to support you. If he works from home, he needs to be ready to lend a hand with the kids, whether it is your youngest, or your daycare kids. He can help cook lunch for the kids while you do an activity with them, or vice versa. If he does not get why he needs to support you, you might want to use the plate illustration. Get six plates, tape, and a marker. Put one piece of tape on the six plates, and write down what you do each day with both your kids, and the daycare kids. With him in front of you, start stacking the plates with one hand, and as a percaution, have your other hand ready to catch the plates if they look like they might fall. Explain to him that you need him to choose at least three plates to help you balance the stack of plates. Explain to him how you are feeling, and tell him he needs to step up. Have him take the three plates he chooses, and explain to him that because he has these plates, he is helping you lighten the load a bit. When the load is less, you are able to have more energy, and you do not feel burned out as much. You two can then set the plates back on a even surface, and take the tape off that has the labels you created. Put these labels on the fridge, and then, after you do that, do something fun together . This exercise takes only 10-20 minutes at the most, but it can last 30 minutes if it needs to. It promotes constructive communication .

This is one lengthy post I have written, but the most important thing I want to tell you is know that you are an amazing person because you are honest with yourself lovethis . By being honest with yourself, greater things can happen. What seems like an issue today, may not be an issue tomorrow because the issue is fixed happyface . Also know one other thing.... you are not alone :hug: . All of us here lift each other up in our own way and that is the best thing we can do for each other happyface

[spud912]

:hug:

Thanks :hug:!!!

You are not alone. That is one of our biggest TAGS: https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.php?tag=burnt+out

I know and I never wanted to be one . Gosh and it's looking like the board is full of us Debbie Downers today!!

Hugs sent your way :hug: I am not sure if this helps, but it will at least help with the vacation thing. With the car trip, I say keep it simple. When my sister and I were younger, we would go on vacations with our family, and we would always stop at a rest stop every one and a half to two hours for a bathroom break. Mom always told us to bring fun games and books for the road. We also played car bingo where we would always try to find all fifty states in the license plates (For example, when I saw a Wisconsin license plate, I marked Wisconsin off). We also had snacks in the car. Crackers and soda were a life saver . We also just talked to each other about stuff. My younger sister liked talking about food and cats ::. Overall, doing some of these things kept our family together while we were on the road . We also had a no yelling rule in the car (because it was dangerous for dad, who was driving the car ) . I hope this does not sound rude (and if it does, I am sorry in advance :hug: ) , but instead of seeing the negatives, turn this vacation into a series of positives . You are spending time with your family outside of the house, and all of you are exploring the city that you are traveling to together . To me, vacations are always about having fun exploring the city. Vacations are also about putting problems from home on a shelf and enjoying the moment . Whenever I go on vacation, I leave a sticky note on my television with the things I need to do when I get back written down . When I get back from vacation, I feel refreshed enough to tackle the items I wrote down happyface. There is no right or wrong way to vacation, but please try your best to have fun :hug: .

As for the daycare aspect in starting over in August, I also say keep it simple. Communication is key. The crazy thing is we can tell someone what they need to do, and it is up to that person to follow through. For example, Daycare provider tells Suzy Jane (Pretend DCP) that her daughter Tiffany (Pretend DCG) has had a bad day hitting other kids. Suzy Jane is given advice on how to address the behavior. Now this next part is on Suzy Jane. She can either address Tiffany's behavior, or ignore the advice. Most of the time, the parents are hopefully on board in helping their kids behave better, but then there are the some of the time parents who are in denial about the situation. If we give the "some of the time" parents advice, over and over again, and they still do not "get it" , that can definitely be frustrating, and the best thing that can happen is either that family is termed, or somehow, we get the kid to behave better while they are here even while the parent is in denial. Know that if the parent does not get on board after you give them advice, it is not your fault. This is on them. The most important thing is you are giving your best effort with your kids, and the kids in your care, and that is what truly matters here lovethis .

As for your DH, he needs to be on board with you, and be your back up. I am not sure why he is not helping you, but without me being nosy on the reason, I should just say that he should at least be ready to support you. If he works from home, he needs to be ready to lend a hand with the kids, whether it is your youngest, or your daycare kids. He can help cook lunch for the kids while you do an activity with them, or vice versa. If he does not get why he needs to support you, you might want to use the plate illustration. Get six plates, tape, and a marker. Put one piece of tape on the six plates, and write down what you do each day with both your kids, and the daycare kids. With him in front of you, start stacking the plates with one hand, and as a percaution, have your other hand ready to catch the plates if they look like they might fall. Explain to him that you need him to choose at least three plates to help you balance the stack of plates. Explain to him how you are feeling, and tell him he needs to step up. Have him take the three plates he chooses, and explain to him that because he has these plates, he is helping you lighten the load a bit. When the load is less, you are able to have more energy, and you do not feel burned out as much. You two can then set the plates back on a even surface, and take the tape off that has the labels you created. Put these labels on the fridge, and then, after you do that, do something fun together . This exercise takes only 10-20 minutes at the most, but it can last 30 minutes if it needs to. It promotes constructive communication .

This is one lengthy post I have written, but the most important thing I want to tell you is know that you are an amazing person because you are honest with yourself lovethis . By being honest with yourself, greater things can happen. What seems like an issue today, may not be an issue tomorrow because the issue is fixed happyface . Also know one other thing.... you are not alone :hug: . All of us here lift each other up in our own way and that is the best thing we can do for each other happyface

Thank you for all the advice...I really appreciate it!!! It didn't sound like it but I am thrilled for our vacation! I love spending time with the family. I just know that I still won't be "ready" for the daycare kids when I come back ::....kwim? We are camping and visiting family which is always fun.

My dh is also super supportive. He does most of the laundry, helps whenever I ask, gives me alone time frequently to unwind or get stuff done. He really is great.

If anything, I think we need alone time together away from all kids! Our youngest daughter had been really trying our spirits lately...she is such a handful. I'm going to try to convince my mom to take them all for a night so me and dh can do something together. I really think that will help with these feelings of burnout. It also helped to vent online.

[Josiegirl]

You are definitely not alone. It's a difficult job to stay upbeat about. It can be downright exhausting. All the dcps in the past who have made comments like 'I wish I could stay and play all day with you' have no clue whatsoever and I'll love to bat them all on the head with my year's worth of paper towel tubes.

All I can say is I'm so happy we have this place to come and gripe, celebrate, share good stories and bad, at least it takes a bit of stress from our worst days and some laughter for those days we want to go

It sounds like YOU need to schedule some YOU time. Just YOU. Everybody in your life needs YOU and it's draining YOU so badly your well will be empty with nothing left to give anyone. Talk to your dh about being Mr. Mom for a couple days and YOU can get away with a friend or 2.

[Mike]

It sounds like YOU need to schedule some YOU time. Just YOU. Everybody in your life needs YOU and it's draining YOU so badly your well will be empty with nothing left to give anyone. Talk to your dh about being Mr. Mom for a couple days and YOU can get away with a friend or 2.

You need to do this.
You deserve it.

[spud912]

It sounds like YOU need to schedule some YOU time. Just YOU. Everybody in your life needs YOU and it's draining YOU so badly your well will be empty with nothing left to give anyone. Talk to your dh about being Mr. Mom for a couple days and YOU can get away with a friend or 2.

I wish I could, but my dh literally had a meltdown after 1 hour with my youngest daughter this past Sunday. At least my mom doesn't know what she's getting into if I can convince her. She swore her off last year due to being "too young."

[thrivingchildcarecom]

Believe me, I know how you feel. Some days I feel like, wow I wish I could take a "mental health day" today. The thing is, I think most providers get to this point. As a matter of fact, I think we all get there several times. It seems to come in waves. Some days it's ok (usually early in the week for me) then by Thursday, I'm spent!

I don't know how much comfort it is to know that so many of go through this, but we do! I haven't read the threads like you, probably because I think it might depress me more, but try to find ways to get away from the child care environment. Don't talk about the childcare kids or anything to do with the business whenever you can. I try to get all business related chores done during the week so I can take the weekend off. See if that helps.

One last thing, try to enjoy your vacation and even fit in quiet moments for yourself. Bookmark those moments so you can pull on those memories when your week is stressful.

[Silly Songs]

Do you think you can afford to hire am assistant maybe a few days a week ? You could really get what you need done while she helps with the children ? Maybe mornings and she leaves during nap and you have the energy to tackle the afternoon. Perhaps you can charge more since the ratio is better.

[Baby Beluga]

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way Spud. Burn out is probably the worst part of our profession.

If you ever need an ear to vent to or bounce ideas off of, we aren't too far from one another

Hope you enjoy your vacation!

[Blackcat31]

Im sorry you are feeling burnt out Spud.

I wish I had advice for you but this is one area I am lacking. These posts always make me question my sanity...! I have been doing this a long time too and I've never felt burnt out or like I want to quit.

Do I want to work...nah, who really does but this is still by far the best job I've ever had so I just keep trucking along.

I wish I wish I had some tips or strategies to offer you....other than taking (and in some cases stealing) some time for YOU....I don't think there is much more you can do that you haven't already done.


If you lived closer...I'd take your girls in a heartbeat...

Definitely hoping that you find some peace and less stress during your vacation time. Also hoping the time does not fly by for you and you get enough time to really relax.

YOU DESERVE IT!!!!

Hang in there and if you need anything (an ear, a shoulder, a sounding board...) you know you are always welcome to PM me any time!

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[Crazy8]

I can honestly say the best thing I ever did for myself was go to a 4 day work week. Is part time care in demand in your area?? Since you are replacing so many kids maybe it is a good time to look at that possibility? I only had 2 kids that came on Fridays (when my enrollment was full at 5 kids all other days) and when that mom got Fridays off and still wanted to send them I said no. It was hard because I was afraid to lose them but they stayed and I feel soooo much happier with this job since! I had done this job 5 days a week for 14 years, I can honestly say doing 4 days a week I can do it for a lot more years than if I had stayed at 5 days/wk.

[Annalee]

I'm burnt out. I am checked out! It's been a slow progression, but I feel like I'm done. I am sick of not making a profit and getting my family out of a financial slump (caused by opening the daycare). I'm sick of trying to live up to the expectations of parents. I'm sick of the lack of appreciation or the fact that the parents don't even notice when I do work miracles and do spectacular things. I'm really sick of the lack of communication. All of my kids are leaving in August except for 1 and I DREAD having to start over. It will be months more of potty training, getting children accustomed to napping, getting children accustomed to somethings called manners and respect, dealing with picky eaters, getting new parents on par with communicating and following policies without questioning them.

If it weren't for the fact that my youngest is under the age of 2, I would quit in August. As it is, we are having to pay $350 a month starting in August to pay for all-day kindergarten for my middle daughter.....with any job I wouldn't be able to afford child care and schooling for 2 children.

I have a week-long vacation coming up at the end of June. It's been planned for 2 years already so I can't change plans. I know myself and I will not come back feeling refreshed......9 days in the car with 3 kids (ages 1, 5 and 7) and my dh will not make me feel more ready to do this job when I come back.

I did the other suggestions on the burnout thread, like change things up a bit. I just re-did our whole backyard and while I love it, it didn't regenerate the love for this job.

I am right there with you, spud! I have done some things for my daycare which makes some days better but there is always that one day of the week where I want to QUIT!!!!

I realize I can't make the money I make anywhere else and I REALLY like being my own boss....but still find it difficult some days to ENJOY my job.

I am off after today through Tuesday and I am sooooo looking forward to it! Spending five days on the water will, hopefully, be relaxing with my own family and some of my extended family.

Only words I have for you is to HANG IN THERE! It seems my hanging thread is also thin but I am still HANGING

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Many, many hugs. I'm working through similar feelings. :hug:

Definitely stealing time away during a time you "should" be working helps...I went to the bank at their nap time Monday and left my husband (who is licensed with me) in charge. Oh my how that 45 minutes helped. I felt like I was free.
Perhaps you can do something similar once a week for a short while?