I Feel Like I'm Reprimanding Every Parent I Have

[permanentvacation]

I'm either reprimanding a parent for not paying on time, reprimanding a parent for banging on my door at nap time to pick their child up early, unannounced at nap time, reprimanding them for allowing their child to be awake at night after 12:30/1:30 in the morning which of course makes them come in here crying and are hateful for the day, or reprimanding them for not closing the gate or something else.

Do you guys reprimand your parents for things that they do that are against your policies, disruptive to your daycare, or is simply bad parenting which then you (NOT THEM) have to suffer the consequences the next day?

I have been broke for so long and have only had a couple of kids for so long, I really think I should just keep my mouth shut and be happy to be making money. But, it's now at the expense of my sanity on a daily basis!

[sharlan]

Nope. I don't parent the parents. I just deal with the kids and move on.

[Blackcat31]

I'm either reprimanding a parent for not paying on time, reprimanding a parent for banging on my door at nap time to pick their child up early, unannounced at nap time, reprimanding them for allowing their child to be awake at night after 12:30/1:30 in the morning which of course makes them come in here crying and are hateful for the day, or reprimanding them for not closing the gate or something else.

Do you guys reprimand your parents for things that they do that are against your policies, disruptive to your daycare, or is simply bad parenting which then you (NOT THEM) have to suffer the consequences the next day?

I have been broke for so long and have only had a couple of kids for so long, I really think I should just keep my mouth shut and be happy to be making money. But, it's now at the expense of my sanity on a daily basis!

These are all things I stress FIRMLY at the time of interviewing so that if the family does sign on, I don't have continually reprimand.

If you find yourself having to remind parents of your policies, there are one of a few things wrong....

• You either didn't discuss policies thoroughly enough during the interview
  
• You didn't enforce them breaking the rule the first time it happened
  
• The parents know AND understand but are testing you or not caring if they lose their space.

No matter the reason, stand firm. If you don't they will and YOU will end up the one burned.

Hang in there PV! Be the professional you know you are and do not let your clients be in charge!

VALUE YOURSELF and YOUR WORTH and they will follow suit!

[Ariana]

Are we talking just verbal reprimands here? I don't usually verbally reprimand without some sort of consequence like $$ or lost time at work. This cuts down on parenting the parents a lot. I also have a policy that says that failure to follow my policies could result in immediate termination without refund of deposit. So if you are late 3x for example you are terminated.

If a child comes to daycare tired and unable to participate then send them home or put them to bed. I had a child sleep here for 5 hours a day at one point because he was not being given the opportunity to sleep at home. I also occasionally called to get him picked up whenever I got fed up with the behavior. If someone came at nap time to get their kid without prior arrangements I would terminate them as this is in my contract. I understand you want to keep these kids but you are sending a very clear message that you work for the parents when you become desperate like that. It isn't so easy for them to find alternate care so start being clear about your rules and follow through.

It is hard in the beginning but you will get there

[e.j.]

Only once in 20 years and only because I was beyond frustrated with something the parent was doing which caused problems for not only me, but more importantly, for her child. Professionalism went out the window that day!

[MunchkinWrangler]

Wow, I do have very respectful parents! Nobody ever comes during naptime and never unannounced if it is not their normal time. I would stress that it's not just their child being disrupted, it's the others as well. I also say that if I get complaints from the other parents for a cranky child they'll lose their spot. I basically have an unwritten rule that if one family is doing things to disrupt another family and I have to hear about it, I won't put up with it.

Parents can get their children whenever they want but I stress that naptime pickups are greatly discouraged unless it's unavoidable. So far, I haven't had problems and I will separate in the one instance I had for a naptime pickup.

The cranky child will be put to bed at least for a short nap. The gate being left open, I would write a policy about it and say it needs to be closed as that is respect to your property and a rule of your home. Call them out, tell them it's rude. Tell them why you want it closed, yes things like this need to be spelled out for them. That should end it.

[thrivingchildcarecom]

I know what you mean! Sometimes the parents are more work than the kids.

Something that I have found helpful is to send out daily reminders. I have created short little notes to address certain issues, so whenever I see something being a problem I will send out a little note. I have notes about tuition due tomorrow, early pick-ups, snacking before breakfast, etc. Since I send them out to all the parents in a mass email or text on a regular basis, I rarely get any push back.

I have found communicating like this to be effective, less stressful for me and at the same time eliminates the excuses. The thing is if you don't find some sort of way to address it, the problem will continue. Which is more stressful.

[LysesKids]

I'm either reprimanding a parent for not paying on time, reprimanding a parent for banging on my door at nap time to pick their child up early, unannounced at nap time, reprimanding them for allowing their child to be awake at night after 12:30/1:30 in the morning which of course makes them come in here crying and are hateful for the day, or reprimanding them for not closing the gate or something else.

Do you guys reprimand your parents for things that they do that are against your policies, disruptive to your daycare, or is simply bad parenting which then you (NOT THEM) have to suffer the consequences the next day?

I have been broke for so long and have only had a couple of kids for so long, I really think I should just keep my mouth shut and be happy to be making money. But, it's now at the expense of my sanity on a daily basis!

I have strict policies & most the parents have respected them over the years; I discourage nap time pickups, but parent always let me know in advance if it might happen also, so I can plan pick-up... I lay tired children back down because none of mine sleep well right now; mainly teething & I have all under 15 months too. Payment is always done in full the first of each month, so no worries on Friday except one weekly payer - they are never late & always cash. They forget, come Monday morning they are Daily payers ( higher rate) until I get fee in full.

I have had to remind one father to not smoke in the car on his way to pick up... I can't handle the stench with my asthma; One more warning & he will be standing outside for every pick up

[permanentvacation]

I have been doing daycare for 27 years and never had these problems until I moved to this area. I've been here for a few years now. I really think it's just lack of respectful people in my area.

I do stress all of those rules during the interview. When they come at nap time and wake kids up, I point to the children that they have waken up and tell the parent that they have waken 'Johnny and Sally' up and they are going to be tired and hateful for the rest of the day and then give them a speech about not picking up at nap time. But I think they just think I'm being bitchy and don't give a rat's a$$ about the other kids or me having to deal with them after they've been waken up.

I guess until I really can afford to start kicking them out for breaking the policies, I need to either keep my mouth shut or just keep 'bitching' at them.

I feel that I am demandingly informing them of the policies, but I think they just feel that they are paying me and I am to deal with whatever they do. They don't respect my policies because I don't really do anything to enforce them.

[JackandJill]

Some days its the old saying "when it rains it pours"! I have great families, but we're all human, and some weeks I feel like it is one thing after another with parents!

Its usually one of two things. Either I didn't speak up when behaviors were first happening, and now the bad behavior is catching up to me, or I am just unhappy somewhere else in life, and so everything parents do just make me nuts!

I highly recommend taking a deep breath, think about which ones are worth mentioning and which one are just irksome, and then shoot off a few quick, pleasant text messages tonight to address the issues. Hopefully everything clears up for you, no fun babysitting adults! :hug:

[Thriftylady]

Some days its the old saying "when it rains it pours"! I have great families, but we're all human, and some weeks I feel like it is one thing after another with parents!

Its usually one of two things. Either I didn't speak up when behaviors were first happening, and now the bad behavior is catching up to me, or I am just unhappy somewhere else in life, and so everything parents do just make me nuts!

I highly recommend taking a deep breath, think about which ones are worth mentioning and which one are just irksome, and then shoot off a few quick, pleasant text messages tonight to address the issues. Hopefully everything clears up for you, no fun babysitting adults! :hug:

I agree with this. I have two families right now, four children. Both families are mostly great, but both do some things that really make me nuts. I try to ignore it, but sometimes I vent here also.

[permanentvacation]

I have been telling them the rules as they break them. I really think that until I enforce them by kicking them out and then when another parent asks where the child is that I kicked out, tell them that they broke a rule, so I terminated them. That might start sending messages to the other parents. But I would have to be able to afford kicking more kids out. I just kicked one child out for her behavior. I can't afford to kick anyone else out right now.

[Thriftylady]

I have been telling them the rules as they break them. I really think that until I enforce them by kicking them out and then when another parent asks where the child is that I kicked out, tell them that they broke a rule, so I terminated them. That might start sending messages to the other parents. But I would have to be able to afford kicking more kids out. I just kicked one child out for her behavior. I can't afford to kick anyone else out right now.

Well even if you did kick them out, it wouldn't be professional to tell another parent why. I can certainly see how it would feel good to say "Oh them? They just wouldn't follow the rules so I sent them packing!" But I wouldn't advise it. As a parent I would think "so what is she saying about me to others?".

[NillaWafers]

I have been telling them the rules as they break them. I really think that until I enforce them by kicking them out and then when another parent asks where the child is that I kicked out, tell them that they broke a rule, so I terminated them. That might start sending messages to the other parents. But I would have to be able to afford kicking more kids out. I just kicked one child out for her behavior. I can't afford to kick anyone else out right now.

You should definitely have those rules set out already, in your handbook yes? Like, they know they're breaking a rule cus it's in your handbook already - right?

[permanentvacation]

Yes, they are in my handbook. I have something like a 10 or so handbook. There's practically nothing that is not in my handbook. I really think it's that the parents don't care about my policies. They simply care about what they want/need.