Do You Ever....?

[Unregistered]

Do you ever term for non working parent that brings their child anyway?

I have a situation where mom was working fulltime but has gotten laid off. She didn't mention any of this to me and then dad accidentally let it slip that mom was going for interviews for a new job. I didn't pry as it is none of my business but mom has been coming recently looking like she has been home all day doing nothing! She brings the kid every single day even when the child is sick (not enough to be excluded but still not well) and she picks up at the same time she always did.

I am not sure why but this is annoying me to no end. I am sick now, my daycare kids have gotten sick and this lady is sitting at home doing nothing?

[MunchkinWrangler]

Get over it!

She is probably job searching and in order to get back into the work life she needs her daycare spot. To be honest, would you keep her spot open for free until she finds another job? If she's paying you with no issues, I wouldn't worry about it. A lot of people job search at home on the computer, it's not like it used to be where you actually had to go out and fill out applications.

If her child is sick, then you should exclude and not accept the child into care.

I had a mom who got laid off, brought her baby to me full time so she could go to classes and job search and go on interviews. She found a great job and is one of my best families. Sometimes, I begrudged her, but I was getting paid, so I didn't complain.

[MunchkinWrangler]

I mean this in the nicest way possible, I promise! :hug:

[mommyneedsadayoff]

I didn't term, but it did annoy me. Mom got laid off and got 6 weeks unemployment, so she basically just stayed home and did the minimum in terms of looking for a job. After unemployment ran out, she spent another few weeks actively looking and complained to me about how hard it is to find work and how she misses her little girl so much and couldn't find a job that had regular 8-5 hours. I didn't feel bad, since she had the opportunity to spend time with her during those six weeks and she didn't.

Not much you can do about it, but if you want to term, then term. Bringing a sick kid is grounds for termination in my book, but if you feel like her situation is temporary and there are no other issues, then I would try not to let it bug you too much.

[Cat Herder]

Nope.

As long as they pay me on time, their contract is in full effect.

[Thriftylady]

While I would love if all parents wanted to spend time with their kids, not all do. It would only irritate me from the standpoint it would be nice to have an easier day here and there, but that is kind of my issue since this is my job. In the situation of a job loss though, I would hope that parent is spending the time looking for a job, because the parent keeping a job means I keep a spot filled.

[Unregistered]

The child was not sick enough to exclude or I would have excluded. The contract is based on working parents so the exclusions are for really really sick kids. If it was based on non working parents she would have been excluded.

I know I am getting paid and I know I need to get over it but it is still annoying. I think the secrecy is the most annoying. For example today I am sick. Not enough to close but I only have her kid today and she is at home doing nothing....or is she? I have no idea. I don't want to close if she is working but would like to close if she isn't. See my dilemma? She mentioned that grandpa was dropping kid off today as she has an appointment (not an interview). Every time she has an appointment she takes the day for herself. She has told me that before when she was working full time.

I don't know why I expect parents to want to hang out with their kids. Pick up early once in a while or take a day with your child and spend time with them if you aren't working.

I guess I should take it as a compliment that they prefer her to be with me than themselves.

[Unregistered]

None of this really bothered me before I got sick and everyone else got sick

[Cat Herder]

I completely see your dilemma.

The thing is, you can't let their circumstance effect yours. Otherwise you will never have control of your own happiness.

What they are doing/not doing should never be a variable in your decision to open or close. Not ever.

Feel better soon :hug:

[Unregistered]

My other parent is also not working. She keeps the child home when he is sick and she takes days off with him here and there if there is something interesting going on that she wants to take him to. He is only here part time to boot!

[Blackcat31]

The child was not sick enough to exclude or I would have excluded. The contract is based on working parents so the exclusions are for really really sick kids. If it was based on non working parents she would have been excluded.

I know I am getting paid and I know I need to get over it but it is still annoying. I think the secrecy is the most annoying. For example today I am sick. Not enough to close but I only have her kid today and she is at home doing nothing....or is she? I have no idea. I don't want to close if she is working but would like to close if she isn't. See my dilemma? She mentioned that grandpa was dropping kid off today as she has an appointment (not an interview). Every time she has an appointment she takes the day for herself. She has told me that before when she was working full time.

I don't know why I expect parents to want to hang out with their kids. Pick up early once in a while or take a day with your child and spend time with them if you aren't working.

I guess I should take it as a compliment that they prefer her to be with me than themselves.

Maybe the mom is being secretive about this because she's worried she'll be judged for sending her child to daycare even though she isnt working.

The way I see it....I sell a service. When people buy that service I do not dictate what they can and can't do with that service. As long as they hold up their end of the deal (pay, drop off and pick up on time) then it's good.

I wouldn't like it very much if Target told me I could only use the blue sofa throw I bought there last week on Tuesdays and Thursdays so I try not to do that to those clients that buy my services.

This plays a GINORMOUS role in the guilt level I have when closing or taking vacations, personal days or any other time off.

I have NONE. ZIP. NADA. Not a single shred of guilt.

[Cat Herder]

My other parent is also not working. She keeps the child home when he is sick and she takes days off with him here and there if there is something interesting going on that she wants to take him to. He is only here part time to boot!

The sad fact is not all kids were planned or even wanted. Some are completely enmeshed without a sense of self to fill a void/take care of a parents emotional needs. Neither situation is any better than the other. Not all parents parent the same way. Also, some shouldn't.

It really is easier on your soul to simply let go and stop keeping score. I am telling you this for YOU. Not them.

[Play Care]

Black Cat brings up a good point.

I find that when I close to take a personal day or due to illness, etc. That I am less likely to care what the parents are doing when I am working. It is easy to get resentful if you are not taking time for you and see them taking tons of "me" time ( and PAID me time, to boot) and you don't even feel like you can close when you are sick. That's why I get paid sick/personal days

If you don't feel well, close. Period. You will feel so much better, in more ways than onehappyface

[Unregistered]

Black Cat brings up a good point.

I find that when I close to take a personal day or due to illness, etc. That I am less likely to care what the parents are doing when I am working. It is easy to get resentful if you are not taking time for you and see them taking tons of "me" time ( and PAID me time, to boot) and you don't even feel like you can close when you are sick. That's why I get paid sick/personal days

If you don't feel well, close. Period. You will feel so much better, in more ways than onehappyface

I think you hit the nail on the head! I should have taken today off. I give myself only 5 sick days paid and I guess I am worried that I will need those days when I am SUPER sick. I usually wait until I have a stomach bug or something serious. I reallynhate navigating these murky waters where the parent is taking advantage.

The mom is also pregnant with baby number two and her child was definitely planned. It is more of a Princess attitude than anything else. I just find parents these days put themselves first and their kids last.

BlackCat she has no issues telling me about all of her days off when she was working or time away at hotels for weekends without her kid etc. I do agree though that she probably doesn't want to appear to be a bad parent which is the primary motivation for most parents these days. Anyway I am getting paid so I should just drop it.

[Unregistered]

Even though my children were thoroughly planned and wanted ( what in the world!?) I use child care when I'm not working. I also take care of tons of other people's kids all the time, working or not. It has never once crossed my mind that the non-workers don't deserve child care. This is really bizarre to me.