How to NICELY, and GENTLY Get Parents to Pick Up and LEAVE

[KIDZRMYBIZ]

OP's problem sounds a little more unique, with 2 DCMs wanting to chat it up with EACH OTHER, and would be content to do so for 15-20 mins without the provider even around. I think pretending to leave will be the ONLY way to get these two out.

When they want to treat me like their new best friend or their $135-per-week-therapist-plus-babysitting, just looking REALLY busy with the other DCKs or my DSs (if they are the last one to pick up) works like a charm.

I've had some kids not getting picked up till 5:20-5:30 most days the last 2 weeks, and I had been enjoying everyone being picked up by 5:00 for about 6 months now. Not sure why it's getting pushed again till the last possible moment for pick-up time again. Sigh...

[lovemykidstoo]

Ugh, I wouldn't mind if it were to happen once in awhile but happening every single day for that length of time would bug me. I have no answer for you, only commiseration because it has happened in the past.

My problem at the moment is, a dcm who BF's her 2 but also brings in her other 2 a lot of the time. This family is wonderful, really they are and probably have no idea how I feel about all this and being too much of a wimp about it, they'll never know either. Her usual stay is 30 minutes. Sometimes even after she finishes BFing, they still stick around another 10-15 minutes. I think what I'm going to start doing is getting the dcks ready to go outside at that time because it's when we usually do in the afternoons anyways. It's just awkward and uncomfortable for me.

She comes in at pickup time and breastfeeds 2 kids? How old are they and how far from your house does she live? ugh!

OP I have those 2 moms. They like to talk to each other FOREVER! What I've been doing is having the kids outside playing when everyone gets picked up, that way when the last kid is picked up and they're still talking I say well goodnight and I go in the house. Sometimes they will stand outside for 15 more minutes and talk. At least they're not in my house though. I think your comment about you and your boyfriend going for a walk is a great idea. Tell them you don't care if they talk to each other outside but you have to get ready to go.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

My dh comes home right about pick up time, so they tend to scoot once they see him. Not sure why. He is a really nice guy, but he has spent 10 hours at work and has sort of an "eff off" look to his face after work (even though he is not cranky or in a bad mood!), so they take it as a "we should get going" kind of moment:: If possible, I would have them ready to go, shoes and coat on, open door, say bye and see you tomorrow and shut door. It is kind of tricky sometimes, but we do need to draw a line. I do like to converse with parents about life, but we are also ALMOST done with work, so we just want them to GO!

[Josiegirl]

She comes in at pickup time and breastfeeds 2 kids? How old are they and how far from your house does she live? ugh!

Her twins are 19 months old. They only live maybe 5-10 minutes away and the thing is we are usually just barely cleaning up from our snack at 3 when she gets here so she's not doing it because they're hungry. I think the reason she does stay is because she gets here so early and feels she's still within her time frame of picking up. I'll let it happen until summer, then they're off because dcd is a teacher and will keep them with him. But we'll tackle it if the issue returns in the fall.

[MunchkinWrangler]

Honestly, regarding the breastfeeding thing, I'll probably be the odd one out on this but that can easily happen at home and shouldn't have to happen at your home. If it is that important to the mom she needs to scoot! Personally, as much as I support breastfeeding, it doesn't need to be done on my time. I've had people ask if they can come and breastfeed midday and I ask them if that's when they'll be picking up. I don't have space for that and it's disruptive to my routine AND I don't think it helps the infant transition to have me provide feeding during the day...they'll hold out for mom.

[lovemykidstoo]

Honestly, regarding the breastfeeding thing, I'll probably be the odd one out on this but that can easily happen at home and shouldn't have to happen at your home. If it is that important to the mom she needs to scoot! Personally, as much as I support breastfeeding, it doesn't need to be done on my time. I've had people ask if they can come and breastfeed midday and I ask them if that's when they'll be picking up. I don't have space for that and it's disruptive to my routine AND I don't think it helps the infant transition to have me provide feeding during the day...they'll hold out for mom.

Especially 19 month old twins as Josiegirl explained that just HAD a snack. ugh.

[lovemykidstoo]

Honestly, regarding the breastfeeding thing, I'll probably be the odd one out on this but that can easily happen at home and shouldn't have to happen at your home. If it is that important to the mom she needs to scoot! Personally, as much as I support breastfeeding, it doesn't need to be done on my time. I've had people ask if they can come and breastfeed midday and I ask them if that's when they'll be picking up. I don't have space for that and it's disruptive to my routine AND I don't think it helps the infant transition to have me provide feeding during the day...they'll hold out for mom.

Oh dear Lord. 19 month old twins that can perfectly well eat a snack and she wants to sit there and breast feed them when she can drive 5 minutes home? oh heck no

[MunchkinWrangler]

Oh dear Lord. 19 month old twins that can perfectly well eat a snack and she wants to sit there and breast feed them when she can drive 5 minutes home? oh heck no

Yeah, I'm honestly not okay with the breastfeed til they're in kindergarten thing. I honestly think they should start transitioning at about 6 to 8 months. Food is going to start being the main source of their nutrition the rest of their lives! I just don't think it's needed for their growth and development, it's time to cut the cord, I just don't think it's good for a child's independence. And I find a toddler acting like a baby not easy to deal with.

I don't want to open a can of worms with this statement.

[Laurel]

Ok, I know I'm not the ONLY one who has this issue.....
I have two moms....they have become friendly....only during DC pick ups and drop offs.... but they both get here at 4:30 to pick up, and stand around and chit chat........for 15-20 minutes EVERY SINGLE NIGHT! I love these moms, they are sweet and I enjoy talking to them, but I do NOT want to have this go on every single night.....week after week after week. I've had these kids since 7am... I am done for the day. .. how do you find just the right words, or whatever, to usher them out the door without causing bad, or hurt feelings??? I mean, today, I had to get on a fake phone call and say 'i have to take this call, so I'm rushing you out today'..... I can't do that every day..........:confused:

Oh, and it would be easier if they were the last two to leave, but I usually have at least one more here until 5:00. So I can use the old 'I'm leaving' or something to that effect

I'm thinking that would be a good time to give the child left some band instruments (think a pot and a spoon) and announce it is 'music' time. Turn some music on and let them bang away! :::: Or how about that be your vacuuming time and give the child that leaves later a play vacuum to 'help' you. I'm in a mood right now. I'm remembering when we got really fast service at a furniture store because my sister in law and I gave our kids sticky lipops to hold while we were 'browsing'. We weren't really thinking about it but then realized why we got such fast service!

But seriously, I had this same problem. I went to the kitchen and started dinner and that wasn't even a big enough hint. They just sat on my sofa and chatted. Then one of their 4 year olds came out to the kitchen and said they were thirsty. I was so ticked but I calmly told her in a loud enough voice so the parents could hear that watching them was my 'job' and compared it to a store. I said that at 5:30 my job was over and I was now closed like a store closes so she would have to ask her mom for anything she wanted. I didn't even get her a drink of water. After that, the moms didn't stay.

[kitykids3]

I've got one that wants to sit around and chat with kid and me, a lot of the time trying to puff herself up regarding her kid. Even when I give hints like looking at the clock, start closing curtains etc, she doesn't get that after 10 hours, I want to be DONE. For the parents that want to talk, or can't get their kids out the door due to behavior, I get them all ready before the parents come so they can sign them out and go. No reason to stay. In the summers we stay outside all afternoon and close to pick up time we go to front yard so they pull up and can grab their kid and go. If it's the last one, I say good night and head into the house.

[Unregistered]

Have a giant flashing arrow sign drop from the ceiling pointing to the doorway, while an announcement plays in the daycare announcing "Attention the daycare is closing in 5 minutes, will all remaining parents please escort your children to the nearest exit. Thank you, and have a good night!"

[daycare]

For confidentially reasons we ask that you make your pick up time brief.
Other parents may call or Enter into the daycare to discuss personal matters, please give them the respect of being able to participate in conversation privately.

Thanks now get out. . Jk

[Josiegirl]

I'm thinking that would be a good time to give the child left some band instruments (think a pot and a spoon) and announce it is 'music' time. Turn some music on and let them bang away! :::: Or how about that be your vacuuming time and give the child that leaves later a play vacuum to 'help' you. I'm in a mood right now. I'm remembering when we got really fast service at a furniture store because my sister in law and I gave our kids sticky lipops to hold while we were 'browsing'. We weren't really thinking about it but then realized why we got such fast service!

But seriously, I had this same problem. I went to the kitchen and started dinner and that wasn't even a big enough hint. They just sat on my sofa and chatted. Then one of their 4 year olds came out to the kitchen and said they were thirsty. I was so ticked but I calmly told her in a loud enough voice so the parents could hear that watching them was my 'job' and compared it to a store. I said that at 5:30 my job was over and I was now closed like a store closes so she would have to ask her mom for anything she wanted. I didn't even get her a drink of water. After that, the moms didn't stay.

Oh my, those dcms are way too comfortable!!! Definitely write up something friendly but firm about appreciating the relationship between dcfs but please consider dc a business and when their contracted hours end, well tally-ho! (yeh, not good with endings)

[Josiegirl]

For confidentially reasons we ask that you make your pick up time brief.
Other parents may call or Enter into the daycare to discuss personal matters, please give them the respect of being able to participate in conversation privately.

Thanks now get out. . Jk

Perfect!! In fact, might add something similar to my policies!

[Play Care]

"Well ladies, I need to go change baby's diaper and read a couple more stories, see us tomorrow"
And hold open the door. Smile. And wait.

According to the OP, the issue is that the moms are chatting with each other, so they are not involving the provider at all. And the provider may or may not have other children in care at that time as it's still her operating hours.

If there are other kids still there, I like this. As we know kids tend to act up when parents come in, so even if their kids are fine the other kids may be acting up.

If not a simple "Hey ladies, I need to leave now, have a great night!" And hold open the door and wait.

Or, you could do what I did with my families one night at pick up when two moms were chatting in my driveway while their kids acted up - taking out bikes, riding around the driveway, etc "Hey guys! See you tomorrow! You don't have to go home but you can't stay here!" said with a big of course.