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  • #16
    Originally posted by KIDZRMYBIZ View Post
    From the provider's side, the issue is more of the consequences of the poor diet. The diet the OP describes is all sugar and carbs (which the body converts to sugar). That kid is probably bouncing off the walls, a terrible napper, and I'd bet has digestive issues to boot!

    And from the provider's perspective, think of the other DCKs pouting because instead of popcorn/juice/chocolate they get chicken breast/carrots and peas/dinner roll/white milk. I hear a loud chorus of NOT FAIRs!

    OP's DCM could pack 1 protein, ONE grain (ONE!), 1 veg, ONE fruit (ONE!), and white milk. There are plenty of options in each category that I'm sure she could find at least a few that appeal to her child's palette.

    Yep, good parenting IS hard. Teaching kids to be healthy (and learn to like it) IS hard. But they are worth it!
    Yes this op, allow the lunch but require a healthy lunch. I had it in my handbook that cold lunches must be healthy, containing ......

    Or you could serve him his lunch, let him choose which grain he wants but instead of tossing one give at snack or send it home. Sending home will give you a chance to say that you requrie all cold lunches to be balanced., so you are sending home the extra grain.

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    • #17
      My state's regs has guidelines for the children's meals. Even if the parents provide the lunch, it still must meet regs. If it doesn't, the provider is required to supplement the provided lunch with whatever is needed to make it in compliance (usually by adding fruits/veggies). Does your state say anything similar?

      Even if it doesn't, it wouldn't be unreasonable to either a) tell her that she can no longer provide the lunch because [insert reason] (You could always claim another child has a food allergy and you're no longer comfortable with outside food being brought in) or b) require the lunch to be consistent with USDA meal pattern guidelines.

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      • #18
        Since you are not on the food program and children can bring in outside food, could you tell the child's mom that that's fine if she wants to send him a lunch, but that it needs to contain 1 protein, one grain, 1 vegetable, 1 fruit, and white milk? You could even give her a list of sample foods for under each category so there is no misunderstanding on what you mean. I don't know about your state licensing laws, but in my state, licensed daycares are required to provide foods meeting the USDA guidelines. So if that is a law in your state, you may be able to explain that because of licensing, you need to make sure the child is getting food that meet those guidelines.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by 284878 View Post
          Yes this op, allow the lunch but require a healthy lunch. I had it in my handbook that cold lunches must be healthy, containing ......

          Or you could serve him his lunch, let him choose which grain he wants but instead of tossing one give at snack or send it home. Sending home will give you a chance to say that you requrie all cold lunches to be balanced., so you are sending home the extra grain.
          one persons definition of healthy may not be the same as yours.

          I would cut off the food from home.

          I have a kid here who goes all day long without eating every day when here. I don't worry about it. He is well behaved and is not regressing in anyway.

          the kid will only eat junk and he is smart enough to figure out that if he waits until pic up mom or dad will being him chip and candy to eat in the car ride on the way home. I don't care, not my child and not on my time so do as you wish.

          they tired the let me bring in food and i said no way. My food or please provide me with your notice of termination.

          i can't force the child to eat, I can offer the food and they decide if they eat it or not. I am doing my job, offer the food.

          No way would I let a parent bring junk food for their kid to eat on my time... So that I can deal with sugar bouncing and bad behavior. after all, you are what you eat. AND this will be the kid that gets everyone sick all the time too. Kids who eat unhealthy ARE unhealthy. No thanks.

          Health starts with what we put into our bodies.

          If you don't like the way someone is getting something done, then you have to do it yourself.

          Hopefully you can find a way out of this.

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          • #20
            You can certainly make a no food from home rule without being on the food program. It is your business, YOU get to make the rules as long as you are not breaking any childcare rules in your state.

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            • #21
              Originally posted by daycare View Post
              one persons definition of healthy may not be the same as yours.

              I would cut off the food from home.

              I have a kid here who goes all day long without eating every day when here. I don't worry about it. He is well behaved and is not regressing in anyway.

              the kid will only eat junk and he is smart enough to figure out that if he waits until pic up mom or dad will being him chip and candy to eat in the car ride on the way home. I don't care, not my child and not on my time so do as you wish.

              they tired the let me bring in food and i said no way. My food or please provide me with your notice of termination.

              i can't force the child to eat, I can offer the food and they decide if they eat it or not. I am doing my job, offer the food.

              No way would I let a parent bring junk food for their kid to eat on my time... So that I can deal with sugar bouncing and bad behavior. after all, you are what you eat. AND this will be the kid that gets everyone sick all the time too. Kids who eat unhealthy ARE unhealthy. No thanks.

              Health starts with what we put into our bodies.

              If you don't like the way someone is getting something done, then you have to do it yourself.

              Hopefully you can find a way out of this.
              True, but I do define heathly in my handbook, I just did not go into detail here.

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              • #22
                Originally posted by 284878 View Post
                True, but I do define heathly in my handbook, I just did not go into detail here.
                And are they following your definition ?

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                  I know you will all flip out on me, but here it goes!
                  I know a bit about nutrition and what is best but as a parent I would much rather my child eat something they enjoy even if its considered junk food than barely eat something or not at all of a healthy item. While I understand you want the children to eat healthy as a mom I would rather know my child is eating something even if its day 65 of the same pb&J lunch sandwich. I am all for providers wanting to offer healthy alternatives but I find there is alot of parent bashing regarding parental choices. Not everyone eats healthy foods, some by choice some by need.
                  I disagree with you but I'm not gonna flip out because I've heard this opinion before by my best friend who is now a retired child care provider like me. She was actually talking about her grandchildren in regular school. Her comment was "I am against them trying to change the school menu to foods the kids don't want to eat like apples." I was dumbfounded. I asked her why and she said what you are saying. She would rather see them filled up with something they like than seemingly be hungry. I figure they will eat the apple if there is nothing else and they are hungry. They might even learn to like it.

                  That said, my daughter sends my grandson with a packed lunch of pb&j every day because he will eat it. She also includes other healthy foods though. When she asked the pediatrician how she could get him to eat something other than pb&j the pediatrician said don't worry about it. He eats pretty healthy otherwise and it is okay to eat pb&j every day if he likes it.

                  I have just seen my provider friend serve dc kiddies a pb&j on white bread, potato chips and cookies if they eat everything else. Also served Kool Aid to drink. Disgusting to me but she never eats healthy herself. Other than that she is a wonderful person.

                  Someone else mentioned the children might be on a sugar high and not nap well but hers did.

                  Kinda gross to me though.

                  Laurel

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                    I am a licensed Family Child Care Provider. When I make lunches I have to follow a strict guideline for nutrition. I have a very stubborn and picky 4 year old eater here who refused to try anything. Basically lives off of toast, juice, cracker, pretzels, etc. The mother has chosen to start sending this childs lunch with him so "he can get used to taking his own lunch to school". Todays packed lunch consisted of Applesauce, apple juice, pretzels and popcorn. other days there may be a nutella and pretzel snack pack in there. And this is coming from a very well educated woman who actually works in social services and knows the rules in the child care field. Do you feel the kid this type of meal?
                    I would tell her that it isn't working out because the other children see his lunch and then ask for some of the same things (even if they don't). Tell her it is too disruptive at lunch time. I've actually have had this happen so I didn't allow it anymore. I've had schoolagers bring their own sometimes on their days off.

                    He doesn't need practice for school. That's absurd.

                    Laurel

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by daycare View Post
                      And are they following your definition ?
                      Yes. When I had a dcm sending a cold lunch she did follow the rules. She did not want her child to have processed foods and only sent fresh foods never frozen or caned. Made her own soup and so forth.

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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                        I know you will all flip out on me, but here it goes!
                        I know a bit about nutrition and what is best but as a parent I would much rather my child eat something they enjoy even if its considered junk food than barely eat something or not at all of a healthy item. While I understand you want the children to eat healthy as a mom I would rather know my child is eating something even if its day 65 of the same pb&J lunch sandwich. I am all for providers wanting to offer healthy alternatives but I find there is alot of parent bashing regarding parental choices. Not everyone eats healthy foods, some by choice some by need.

                        This is how my husband feels. It drives me insane when I get home from work and start making dinner and he's feeding the kid goldfish. No wonder he doesn't want dinner. I'm of the opinion that the kid will eat when he gets hungry enough. I'm also strongly opposed to making him clean his plate if he's full. Luckily, I'm blessed with a kid that will eat almost anything. I fed him escargot the other night and he ate all of his and half of mine too. I think maybe if he didn't eat many things then I would feel differently about it, but I just don't think a kid will die due to starvation by stubborness.

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by 284878 View Post
                          Yes. When I had a dcm sending a cold lunch she did follow the rules. She did not want her child to have processed foods and only sent fresh foods never frozen or caned. Made her own soup and so forth.
                          What is wrong with frozen food? I find it is often of much better quality. I can buy a big bag of frozen strawberries in the middle of winter and have more variety too.

                          I bought a fresh cauliflower the other day but I'm the only one who likes cauliflower. I am getting tired of eating it every day so I don't waste it though so I bought a bag of frozen for next time. Portion control.

                          Laurel

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                          • #28
                            I would tell her it is not working out and that you found out that regulations don't allow outside food because of allergies or something.

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                            • #29
                              Not my kid, not my problem! I mean in all honesty you are going to make him a nutritious meal and he is not going to eat it so it becomes wasted food and wasted money. There is only so much a provider can do for a child if a mother is not involved in the changes. I guess what I am trying to say and what I have had to think about for myself is why am I caring more than the mother?

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                              • #30
                                Thank you all for your suggestions! I understand that every child is different as is every situation. It just dumbfounds me some days. The mother is a strict Vegetarian. The dad was raised on meat and potatoes. Not sure how dinner time goes in that house. But I know they do not all eat the same meal. The oldest boy who is in school is on the Autism spectrum. Has a terrible time with textures and smells, but has still tolerated the food I prepare, I just dont give him alot because I know he would have an issue with it. His brother, who is my DCK, simply follows suit and does not have the disability. Again...Thank you for all your help!

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