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Cry It Out How Long Is Too Long For 2 Year Old?
How long is too long for a two year old to cry it out? Is 30 mins unreasonable? Daycare family wants me to go in and rub daycare boys back and tell him it's ok after ten minutes. they said anything after ten minutes is neglect in their eyes.
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Here are some more threads on CIO: https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.php?tag=cio -
I wouldn't keep him then. I don't see it as neglect to "train" him. They do, so they have "trained" him to cry. Fighting this battle with my son and grandson because my son thinks if he crys at all it is abuse. They also think that at 11 months old, letting him feed himself is to messy so you put food in front of him and he opens his mouth like a little bird. Some parents are just not worth the hassle.Comment
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I agree with Thrifty.
Also, IMO, at that age it's not even CIO... it's simply tough love. Wth are we in for with this generation of kids that get instant gratification and are never allowed to realize they don't get everything they want?! It's terrifying.Comment
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Yep. I don't consider it cio at 2 either. I have to check sleeping children every 15min though.Comment
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My daughter is 20 months and I will let her cry for about 10 min and then go and check on her. I will NOT take her out of her crib. Taking them out of their beds is the WORST thing you can do. I pat her back to reassure her and then tell her to lay down. She will usually lay down with her bunny and let me cover her up. Usually when she realizes that I'm not going to take her out she will calm down.Comment
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Tell them he will need a nap assistant for ten minute back rubs and consolation. You can hire one for ten bucks an hour bit they must pay for it upfront every week on top of their tuition. That's only for the time it takes him to adjust BUT with that technique there is a very good chance he won't ever adjust so plan on paying it for a few years.Comment
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They only want me to let him cry for ten minutes not rub his back for ten minutes. After ten minutes of crying they want me to go rub his back and tell him it's ok. They think he is scared which he is not. This kid also has bad stranger anxiety and they know they can't put him in a different daycare because he would freak out. I had a meeting with both parents last night I told them I would rub his back only because it's what they needed to hear in reality it won't ever happen. I kept rolling my eyes the dad made sure to mention my eye rolling to me. These people need to get in touch with reality. I pray they don't have any more kids.Comment
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How long has this child been with you? Tell them what your naptime habits are and don't change a thing for his kid. Whether they'll be fine with that or you can live with a crying 2 yo, it's all up to you. But someone has developed some poor falling asleep habits for this little guy and no one will benefit from that.
If they want to continue then maybe they'll have to stay home with him and do it themselves or hope you(and they because they need to be on board with this too)can turn him around. Is he placed with the other dcks at naptime? Sometimes that helps if they can see others and know they're not alone or sometimes it doesn't matter. Is he in a p'n'p or on a mat/cot?
I had to give up on trying to have a 12 month old fall asleep on her own, she'd cry all day, following me while trying to muckle onto my legs while I tried to get things done. She was held as much as I could hold her and I'd go in during naptime to rub her back and try to quiet her down. But she'd be screaming and so so tired the rest of the day. Funny thing is that when she was about 16-17 months old dcps asked me again if I could take her. I said yes, and she's perfect!! I feel guilty for letting a center do all the hard work and I got the sweet happy toddler.
Had to chuckle that dcd caught you rolling your eyes at him.
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I've had him since he was 3 months old. He naps fine he sleeps on a cot despite parents wishes to keep him in a crib for as long as possible. He has screaming crying fits when he does this I make him go lay down until he stops. Parents don't want me to let him cry too damn bad he needs to learn how to calm himself on his own.Comment
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I was one of those parents with my first.Originally posted by Unregistered View Post That's when I opened my daycare. I would have made a horrible dcparent!!
He will cry, especially in a group situation where he is not always catered to. I don't think that's a bad thing, now to convince the parents!
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There is zero respect between you and this family.Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
You don't respect their wishes and they certainly don't respect you.
I think this relationship has run it's course.
They have certain parenting beliefs/wishes, which is their right to do and you have certain rules/routines, which is your right.
Neither seems to be cohesive so IMHO, it's time to replace this family so that you can find one you can work WITH (not against) and they can find a program that WILL provide the care/services they want and need.Comment
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They can parent how ever they wish and I will run my daycare as I wish! I care for 12 children and I will not cater to a two year old screaming I will not rub is back and tell him it's ok because guess what it's not ok! He will only learn that if I cry someone will be here in ten minutes to calm me down. He needs to learn to calm himself down!Comment
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That is a tantrum and has nothing to do with crying it out. He is not an infant.Comment
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His parents are the type to cry if they see their son cry. He has no idea how to calm himself down because anytime he crys they are there to comfort him. That method won't worl for daycare. He is 23 months but it's more like caring for a 12 month old they are not doing this kid any favors!Comment
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