I really need some help - DCM texted me about switching to cloth diapers....

[TaylorTots]

I have a 19m DCG in care. DCM texted me tonight:

"If we switch to cloth dipes with DCG & do it for #2 (DCM is pregnant) would you be ok with that?"

I haven't replied yet.

First, a little history:
-She is currently part time and is going full time next week. DCM drops DCG off at 11:20, usually in a very full disposable diaper. DCG has had some kind of diaper rash consistently the entire time she has been in my care, since July 1st. I have brought this up to DCM, who acted surprised every time.
-DCM is pregnant with sibling, I will have an opening for sibling in my care as of the summer and sibling will be about 10 weeks old when she enrolls.
-DCM is utterly convinced DCG has issues with bowel movements and gives her lots of apple juice, apples and other similar foods to "help" DCG. DCG has 1-2 "bad" poops a week here in my care part time. However, in a disposable diaper they are contained and very manageable.
-DCM often brings DCG without a jacket/hat/socks when it's cold out.

Ok, that being said, I cloth diapered both my children and want to be very supportive of this change. However, I don't feel based on DCM's actions to date that she would be able to supply enough diapers for a day for DCG everyday consistently. I also worry about her ability to sanitize them. I worry about the "apple juice poops" being contained as well. I am comfortable with ME purchasing a cloth diaper system and laundering it -- for a small fee each week.


That being said -

1) What would be an acceptable fee increase to cover this added investment/work? DCG will be at $145 per week when she goes full time this coming week.
2) Can anyone help me with a text reply? I feel like all my replies aren't adequate I've tried. I want to be firm that it is ok, I will supply all cloth diapers, your fee will up to $X amount per week for DCG for my added work with the laundering. Then let her decide.


Help? I am supportive of the change but don't want to deal with diaper shortages and poorly laundered diapers. :confused: THANK YOU!!!!

[Silly Songs]

How about this ?
Sorry dcm, I don't think I can accommodate you on cloth diapers right now. I am going to look into what changes we both can make so maybe in the future we can try.
Seriously, it doesn't sound like she would be an easy cloth diaper parent. If her little one has a history of rashes, you can mention that if she asks why .

[Elko]

Maybe just say "Sounds good! The way it works is I will supply and launder the diapers she can use here, for an added fee of $xx per week. Let me know if that works for you!"

I'm bad at wording, and a total sap... But I think if I were the parent and got a text along these lines, I'd be made aware that the provider has to have a specific way of doing things for whatever reason and I'd feel like I was getting to choose if it worked for me or not.

[midaycare]

Maybe just say "Sounds good! The way it works is I will supply and launder the diapers she can use here, for an added fee of $xx per week. Let me know if that works for you!"

I'm bad at wording, and a total sap... But I think if I were the parent and got a text along these lines, I'd be made aware that the provider has to have a specific way of doing things for whatever reason and I'd feel like I was getting to choose if it worked for me or not.

I had one in cloth diapers, 16 months, but dcf just switched over to disposable because of diaper rashes.

[Elko]

They probably weren't laundered properly if there's a rash with cloth... I like the idea of OP being completely in control of what happens diaper-wise at daycare, someone else can probably do a better job than I could at estimating a reasonable fee!

I know if I did a load of diapers, wash and dry, every couple days it would probably cost about $12/week in my coin laundry. I usually just hang them on a rack to dry, but that means more diapers...Would $20/week be enough to cover your labor and detergent and water bill? I really am clueless

[nannyde]

I have the parents bring me ten diapers or so and I leave them at my house. I do all the washing. I charge $2.50 a day. I keep a stock of disposables at my house so I can switch over to disposables if I need to. The $2.50 a day is enough to cover the whole cost of labor, water, and detergent.

You don't have to buy the diapers. Have them supply them all at once and just send the child home in one and keep the one they sent her in. If they send her in paper then have them send you a pack of paper for her go home diapers when she arrives in paper.

Tell her the ONLY way you will do this is if she arrives in a completely dry diaper in the morning EVERY day. If she is prone to rashes it may make it way worse.

I require all in ones cloth. Nothing that has to be put back together.

[cheerfuldom]

I dont think that saying no to cloth diapering is going to solve the issues. Send this child home when her rashes and pooping become unmanageable. Check that she has appropriate clothing before allowing her to enter the daycare. Send home a notice on Monday highlighting the portions of the contract about these issues and letting mom know that this will no longer be allowed.

Once you can send home for rashes and diapering issues, you can allow cloth diapering because if it is not working out, you can reference this notice on why it is not allowed.

I am fine with cloth diapering and make sure parents know that they MUST provide pre-assembled cloth diapers, enough for the whole day, take home and launder each day, provide a wet bag, and immediately address any rashes or issues that arise.

[Blackcat31]

I dont think that saying no to cloth diapering is going to solve the issues. Send this child home when her rashes and pooping become unmanageable. Check that she has appropriate clothing before allowing her to enter the daycare. Send home a notice on Monday highlighting the portions of the contract about these issues and letting mom know that this will no longer be allowed.

Once you can send home for rashes and diapering issues, you can allow cloth diapering because if it is not working out, you can reference this notice on why it is not allowed.

I am fine with cloth diapering and make sure parents know that they MUST provide pre-assembled cloth diapers, enough for the whole day, take home and launder each day, provide a wet bag, and immediately address any rashes or issues that arise.

This is what I would do as well.

Rather than "do it for her" it makes more sense to hold her accountible (deny care if dcg arrives without supplies and a fresh diaper on) and enforce your policies (send home when bm/pee is not contained within the diaper).

The choice to cloth diaper is great but mom needs to be the one to make and live with (be FULLY responsible for) her choices.

If you just do it for her then it seems to me mom will never figure it out and in a sense you will be enabling her. You can certainly offer her advice on how to properly launder if it becomes an issue but I just cant see supplying them based on your belief that mom wont be able to manage it.

HTH

[Cradle2crayons]

This is what I would do as well.

Rather than "do it for her" it makes more sense to hold her accountible (deny care if dcg arrives without supplies and a fresh diaper on) and enforce your policies (send home when bm/pee is not contained within the diaper).

The choice to cloth diaper is great but mom needs to be the one to make and live with (be FULLY responsible for) her choices.

If you just do it for her then it seems to me mom will never figure it out and in a sense you will be enabling her. You can certainly offer her advice on how to properly launder if it becomes an issue but I just cant see supplying them based on your belief that mom wont be able to manage it.

HTH

I agree. I would not have a problem with cloth diapering either. But I'm not going to provide anything.

I would require them to bring xxx diapers, a wet bag, etc.

[Elko]

Yeah I guess that makes sense. She can just give you a supply of the kind she wants to use as long as it's approved by you...?

[taylorw1210]

I would have no problem with cloth diapers. I CD'd my own children and have had a few in my care. However, I do not do the laundry for them. I require the parents to bring enough diapers for a change every 90 minutes and a large enough wet bag to contain all said diapers, and send them home everyday.

[TaylorTots]

Great advice ladies! However, I want to supply the diapers used here - I don't want anything mom brings. I want complete control of what I put on her in terms of cloth and the knowledge that it was cleaned properly. I am not only fine with this aspect - I require this aspect if they switch to cloth. I don't want to be in a situation to refuse care due to mom not bringing enough or call for early pickup. Both stress me out and instead of adding to that stress by trying to enforce things, I am going to require mom to do it my way -- taking away the stress.

I have followed all my policies to date and plan on doing so if DCG goes to cloth - blowouts will end in pickups or back to DCM supplied disposables upon my discretion. I don't care about rashes from DCPs not changing their DCKs diapers, nor about bringing their DCKs in full diapers. All kids are changed immediately upon arrival - full or empty. I then know all diaper situations...and I like it that way. I don't supply diaper rash treatment - if DCPs want it that's fine as long as they provided it. If they didn't, then DCK deals with the rash. And if it bothers them I'll call DCPs for pickup. I can recognize the "DCPs dont change DCK enough" rash -- and that's all this is. Not something I exclude for, though I know many of you awesome ladies exclude for ANY kind of rash - but this is my policy, I like it and follow it.

I'm mostly just making this cloth diaper situation so I have complete control of what happens in my house - not having to rely on any DCPs ability to bring diapers daily or launder them correctly. I am NOT making up for their inability to do so, just making any possible dealing with them for these concerns obsolete. I am not putting any unwanted task upon myself with laundering or purchasing (esp. since 90% of supplies I have in storage from my own children and will only need a few additional things).


Looooove the great advice and very helpful in working out the right "no nonsense" reply and weekly fee for the service!

[cheerfuldom]

Do whatever is easier for you! In this case, I would provide extra clothing and outerwear for DCG for use at your home only and remove your items before sending home. I know many providers that have provide clothing, shoes, outerwear for daycare use at their home just the constant issues with daycare parents about appropriate clothing. That might be a good idea for you. Just do what is right for you!

It is beyond annoying that we providers have to resort to these tactics to deal with lazy parenting. and yes, I think that parents that dont change diapers appropriately, dont address ongoing rashes, and dont provide appropriate clothing are lazy parents.

[TaylorTots]

Do whatever is easier for you! In this case, I would provide extra clothing and outerwear for DCG for use at your home only and remove your items before sending home. I know many providers that have provide clothing, shoes, outerwear for daycare use at their home just the constant issues with daycare parents about appropriate clothing. That might be a good idea for you. Just do what is right for you!

It is beyond annoying that we providers have to resort to these tactics to deal with lazy parenting. and yes, I think that parents that dont change diapers appropriately, dont address ongoing rashes, and dont provide appropriate clothing are lazy parents.

No argument about the lazy parents! I have a stash of clothing and outerwear for kids that gets removed before sending them home (just like I'd be changing DCG into a disposable diaper or cloth diaper that DCM provides before sending her home at pickup).

It is really sad that so many parents out there ARE lazy - it shouldn't take DCP hounding DCPs for basic supplies for them to bring them Sadly, sometimes it really is just easier to rely on ourselves than the lazy parents and make them work with what WE can control

[renodeb]

I would just say NO! and tell her that the rules and regs do not allow you to use cloth diapers. Honestly you kinda answered your own questions with the concerns you listed. Way to much money and stress for me. Good luck with all that!
Debbie