Stay at Home Parents

[Cat Herder]

It used to bother me because of my own personal parenting beliefs. I could only see the once in a lifetime experiences the parent was giving up, willingly. Choosing to miss all the magic. My assumption was they were choosing financial gain or me time over their child.

Life has recently changed my mind.

Not every one has children for the same reasons. Not every environment is in the best interest of young children. Not every one has the capacity to be an uplifting force of nature, 50+ waking hours a week, to young children. Not every one has the same priorities or faith in their own abilities.

I now trust that if they are brought to me, and the parent follows my policies, they are supposed to be here. Period.

[taylorw1210]

I sell a service.

WHY you purchase that service is up to each buyer/you.

It doesn't take away from the fact that I will need to still share some basic parent philosophies with you but what difference does it make if you are sitting in a bank cubicle all day or sitting at home all day?

You are still away from your child for a specific number of hours.

Whether you are at work or home has no bearing on your child in MY opinion as far as why. I serve children under Kindergarten age.

Unless someone impresses into their mind that their parent does NOT want to spend time with them I don't think a child that age understands the difference between mommy has to go to work vs mommy has to go back home.

To the child, mommy is leaving. period.

I have to agree. I have one little girl who has been with me part-time for over a year. Mom just found out she is pregnant with #2 and they were able to afford her leaving her job. Her daughter still attends with me part-time, and in dcm's own words, "I didn't feel it was fair to her to take her away from her friends, and it affords me the chance to run errands and make appointments without worry." She was justifying it to me like I would have a problem with it - and I definitely do not. I'm actually glad I'm not having to say goodbye to dcg because of the change - she's really a great kid and I enjoy having her.

[katzan]

If I had another parent that I was interviewing at the same time and she was a working parent, I'd choose the working parent first. However, I wouldn't turn away a stay at home mom either. While I would feel really bad for the child, it really isn't my business what the parents do during the day while I have them. I guess I feel like if their parent doesn't want them home with them, then at least they are getting attention and love from someone.

[Play Care]

I don't care what a parent does so long as I can get in touch with someone. Perhaps it's because child care around here is used mostly when it's needed so parents can work - we have a wonderful preschool for parents who want socialization and some "me" time. Day care is too expensive for most SAHP's to justify the expense here.

The one issue I've had that chaps my hide, is when a parent misleads me into thinking they are working a certain day (say, a more minor federal holiday) guilts me into staying open and come to find out THEY WERE HOME.

Well, that won't happen again

[Starburst]

I sell a service.

WHY you purchase that service is up to each buyer/you.

It doesn't take away from the fact that I will need to still share some basic parent philosophies with you but what difference does it make if you are sitting in a bank cubicle all day or sitting at home all day?

You are still away from your child for a specific number of hours.

Whether you are at work or home has no bearing on your child in MY opinion as far as why. I serve children under Kindergarten age.

Unless someone impresses into their mind that their parent does NOT want to spend time with them I don't think a child that age understands the difference between mommy has to go to work vs mommy has to go back home.

To the child, mommy is leaving. period.

At the end of the day this is a business. However that doesn't mean what the parent does (aside from child abuse/ endangerment) with their day is any of your business, just like what you do out of work when your kids aren't around isn't the daycare parent's business.

Some parents need time away from their children. From what I have seen on here, many (not all, but many) of the providers here started a home daycare to be home with their children because that was important to them- but not all parents feel that way or they would all stay home and there would be no need for child care and we'd all be out of a job.

While it is usually seen as best for the child to spend as much of their early years in their parents care as possible, it may do more harm than good if the child is always around a parent who is frequently frustrated with said child and/or acts indifferently towards them for 12 hours a day instead of going to a child care provider and friends who would be more engaging and make them feel wanted. In fact, if the parent is frequently frustrated when the child is around, it can put the child at a higher risk of being abused or neglected.

Some stay at home parents also may not know many people who have children around their own child's age and want their child to socialize with other children in an appropriate age range (older kids might be bad influences and younger kids might not be intellectually stimulating enough). Some parents also use daycare to prepare their child for preschool or kindergarten even if it doesn't have an established curriculum to get them to be used to not being around mommy/daddy/granny/grampy etc all day.

NOTE: This is not a bash on SAHMs or kids of SAHMs; but there was a 3 year old of which I was basically hired to be 'his friend' (I honestly think it's ridiculous/sad to hire an adult to be your child's friend; going in I thought it was babysitting). Anyway, he is one of the most spoiled children I know (he was a 'miracle baby', so they let him get away with anything) and does not have the best social/reasoning skills with other children his age; he has a baby sister, but she shares with him way more than he shares with her. This boy threw the biggest fit when he was playing with one of the neighbor children (this incident was their 1st time meeting) had to get ready for lunch and a nap. His mother was so embarrassed that he acted that way and pretty much knew the other mom doesn't want her child around the other kid after that. When he was throwing the tantrum the other 3 year old just looked at him like he was insane. I'm sure there aren't going to be any scheduled play dates for those two any time soon. He's used to everyone giving him things, but when I play with him I try to make it a point to tell him no or not let him get his way all the time because other preschoolers are not going to be as accommodating as the adults and older cousin's in his life and it's better he has a tantrum now and learn to deal with it instead of getting kicked out because he throws a tantrum every day (Sorry, rant but I'm done).

However, I would also keep in mind that child care is in high demand for working parents and if an opportunity comes up where you would need to eliminate a position (such as need an extra space for siblings, downsizing, or expecting your own child) then they would be first considered for the chopping block since they don't necessarily 'need' my services as much as the other families would.

[AmyKidsCo]

I'm good with it.. as some of you know from earlier threads I've posted on. Once your child is here, I don't really care where the parents are. They can go back home, casino, beach, whatever.. as long as they pick up on time and the check doesn't bounce.

For the most part ITA, except if you're at the beach while your child is the last one one and you walk in the door 1 minute before closing I'll probably be frustrated. Not that I really believe I have the right to be, I just would be.

I personally don't understand why a SAHM would put her child in FT child care, but I try not to judge. (Not that I always succeed, but I do try...)

[TomCopeland]

Stay at home parents

Another thread got me thinking. What do you think of stay at home parents who want full hours and days?

Want to see other's view before I share mine.

I wrote an article about this: http://www.tomcopelandblog.com/2014/...your-care.html