Stay at Home Parents

[Unregistered]

Another thread got me thinking. What do you think of stay at home parents who want full hours and days?

Want to see other's view before I share mine.

[NightOwl]

It bothers me. I probably would pass up a family like this, unless there were some extenuating circumstances. I know it shouldn't, it's not my business what they do all day, but it still bothers me. These years are precious and I think it says something about the kind of person they are if they're choosing to spend their days getting manicures, watching soaps, and having lunch dates instead of being a parent. If the parent has some serious illness, a disability, works from home, etc, that's totally different and I wouldn't think twice about accepting a family like this. So it really depends on WHY they need full time care as to whether or not it bothers me. It's still none of my business what they do with their time, but I can make the decision as to what kind of family I chose to provide care for, my business or not.

[Cradle2crayons]

Another thread got me thinking. What do you think of stay at home parents who want full hours and days?

Want to see other's view before I share mine.

I don't have a problem with it. I just don't offer those types of services. I offer only contracted hours for parents that work certain hours.

I do offer drop in occasional care if ratios allow. Those hours are at a very premium rate though.

[LysesKids]

No, not unless they have a lot of medical appointments or similar ( like a sibling that needs appointments); the reason? I did it a one time and it messed my days so bad because the parents thought they could come in whenever regardless of how it would affect my day because their kid slept in, or worse they were the only one scheduled and then would not answer phones or no showed...

My Worst experience was my actual first stay at home mom whose hubby took 6 paid weeks of vacay yearly... It was the first year I was doing daycare and after 2 hrs one day and no show (she paid for 40+ week), this parent was only one scheduled, so I told my dd we were leaving to go to the lake (summer and she was younger) - the parent showed just as we were getting in the car and bitched me in front of both kids. Her DH showed later that day and threatened me and the police ended up being called and they were termed. Nope, never again

Now I don't mind taking a Part time under 20 hrs weekly because i know when exactly they are scheduled... most my parents that need errand running or are stay at home moms, just call me for drop-in care and pay the higher rate now

[nannyde]

No. Unless it's a child protection case.

[Unregistered]

I sell a service.

WHY you purchase that service is up to each buyer/you.

It doesn't take away from the fact that I will need to still share some basic parent philosophies with you but what difference does it make if you are sitting in a bank cubicle all day or sitting at home all day?

You are still away from your child for a specific number of hours.

Whether you are at work or home has no bearing on your child in MY opinion as far as why. I serve children under Kindergarten age.

Unless someone impresses into their mind that their parent does NOT want to spend time with them I don't think a child that age understands the difference between mommy has to go to work vs mommy has to go back home.

To the child, mommy is leaving. period.

[Indoorvoice]

I don't care if they want to pay me while they do whatever all day, but I have just recently learned to be VERY strict about drop off and pick up times in these situations. I make sure that they will not be the first one dropped off, that the child won't come too late, and that they are not the last to be picked up. I know they are paying for a service, but I'm not going to be inconvenienced and risk working late if they are playing all day.

[SignMeUp]

I don't care if they want to pay me while they do whatever all day, but I have just recently learned to be VERY strict about drop off and pick up times in these situations. I make sure that they will not be the first one dropped off, that the child won't come too late, and that they are not the last to be picked up. I know they are paying for a service, but I'm not going to be inconvenienced and risk working late if they are playing all day.

...or "didn't wake up from their nap" :: I have had quite a few stay at home dads and a few stay at home moms. In general, the dads did better at keeping a schedule - probably just their personality types though. They had "dad's group" meetings to get to - coffee shop time.
Each of the moms had a hard time getting here in the morning, and were often late picking up too. Again, may be just personality types. It didn't seem like any of the mothers kept any kind of routine at home. Luckily, their kids were nice

[permanentvacation]

It used to bother me A LOT. But after fussing about parents like that on this forum and getting feed back, I have changed my attitude towards them. I have complained a good bit about some of my parents on this forum. Since I moved to the area I am in, I have had many of what I would consider 'bad parents' or parents who are not involved with their child at all. I complained here about them and the main responses I received were things like 'poor child, at least they have you to show them love, care, and that you are interested in them', 'glad the mother realizes they couldn't give the child what they needed at home and hired someone that can.', 'If the parent was forced to keep the child home with them even though they know they can't handle that, the child might be abused by the parent, glad the parent put the child in daycare since they realize they can't handle being with the child all day.'

So, after you guys told me things like that, I am actually glad that the parents realize they can't handle being with the child and instead of taking a chance of becoming angry and abusive with the child, they put the child in daycare. Yes, I am upset for the child that they aren't getting to spend quality, one on one time with their parents, but it most likely wouldn't be good, quality time for them. So, it probably is better that the child attend daycare - even all day long, if that's the length of time the parent feels they need to send them. It's sad for the child, but probably safer, less stressful for them and the parent, more fun, and the child probably feels more loved and wanted in the daycare than they would if the parent was forced to keep the child home all day.

[Unregistered]

OP here

I don't accept stay at home parents at my daycare, because I had a lot of bad experiences with them when I did head start. A lot of people who do their own daycares have had nothing but problems from what they tell me. I know from my past experiences these people weren't working from home. While I can't say for sure they weren't abusive (who knows what people do now a day ), I think they were just selfish. Like they would always come around and peek in windows or look in the door ways, this is allowed in hs, or come around when we had our outdoor time. They come in and bring special lunches. I felt like it was annoying as the teacher, but also the student noticed. They would often say things like "I saw Heather's mommy. Where's my mommy?!" or "I miss my mommy!!!!". It just really boiled down to these parents giving their child a lot of special attention. I didn't get why they didn't want them at home or in care part time.

[Unregistered]

there are lots of reason as to why stay at home parents have their children in child care. The main one being that a child does not need to be at home all day just because a parent does not work. I currently am not working, however my 2.5 year old is in a full time center. I know for a fact that does NOT mak me a bad or neglectful parent! My child was home with me for a while and it was causing a problem for HIM. He wanted to get out, he NEEDED to get out. He wanted and needed to be around other children his age and he needs to learn and have a routine. My child prefers to go to day are than to be home. I for one HATE sending him to school. I am constantly stressed and worried, also I don't like having to pay $250/week for it either. However, it is what MY child needs. BTW I, myself previously owned a daycare. Therefore, I can relate to both, parent and provider. It is not a providers concern as to why a parent chooses to send their child to daycare whether they work or not. Childcare is supposed to be beneficial to children. So what reason does it matter that a parent does or does not work

[SignMeUp]

there are lots of reason as to why stay at home parents have their children in child care. The main one being that a child does not need to be at home all day just because a parent does not work. I currently am not working, however my 2.5 year old is in a full time center. I know for a fact that does NOT mak me a bad or neglectful parent! My child was home with me for a while and it was causing a problem for HIM. He wanted to get out, he NEEDED to get out. He wanted and needed to be around other children his age and he needs to learn and have a routine. My child prefers to go to day are than to be home. I for one HATE sending him to school. I am constantly stressed and worried, also I don't like having to pay $250/week for it either. However, it is what MY child needs. BTW I, myself previously owned a daycare. Therefore, I can relate to both, parent and provider. It is not a providers concern as to why a parent chooses to send their child to daycare whether they work or not. Childcare is supposed to be beneficial to children. So what reason does it matter that a parent does or does not work

It's not that I disagree with what you want for your child. But a provider runs his or her own business and has the ability to structure it in any way that they prefer, as long as it runs in accordance with licensing in their state, county and community.
So, if provider chooses to provide care for working parents, that is the provider's call, and a non-working parent looking for socialization and a learning environment will have to look elsewhere.
My own opinion is that socialization and a rich environment are vitally important for children, but so is family time. Parents are the first teachers

[Mister Sir Husband]

I'm good with it.. as some of you know from earlier threads I've posted on. Once your child is here, I don't really care where the parents are. They can go back home, casino, beach, whatever.. as long as they pick up on time and the check doesn't bounce.

[Unregistered]

OP here

It's not that I disagree with what you want for your child. But a provider runs his or her own business and has the ability to structure it in any way that they prefer, as long as it runs in accordance with licensing in their state, county and community.
So, if provider chooses to provide care for working parents, that is the provider's call, and a non-working parent looking for socialization and a learning environment will have to look elsewhere.
My own opinion is that socialization and a rich environment are vitally important for children, but so is family time. Parents are the first teachers

I think there's a different between socialization and being with random children of different ages. I was a stay at home mom for a bit. You could do play dates and other socializing. I think family time is very important. These are years you will never get back. I also think children develop their personality in a bigger, for lack of better word, way in a situation with a stay at home parent. For example, I've had children who were just obnoxious. Had to be the loudest speaker, or speak the most, or just basically do something the most. Having an audience or other children who also want to be the most, made them not be who they would be. To me a child who sings loudly is cute. If two children are screaming LET IT GO!!!!!!!!! until my ears bleed because they both want to be Elsa, it's not cute. I feel like parents aren't seeking their child's best interest when they are able to stay home, not working, and want them in some type of care five days a week for 8 or more hours. I can't speak for everyone but when I went to kindergarten, it was half day and the only children who had any experience before that had working parents. It's just strange to me parents would want children in daycare/preschool at 4 or younger if someone is home and not working. I mean I can see half days or a few days here or there, but the whole week is off putting to me if the parent is not working. As I said, in my experience and the experience of providers in my area, stay at home parents are often annoying. I don't get why you go get them lunch and bring it to the daycare? Why not take them home/to the restaurant? Sorry this is long!

[Unregistered]

OP here

I'm good with it.. as some of you know from earlier threads I've posted on. Once your child is here, I don't really care where the parents are. They can go back home, casino, beach, whatever.. as long as they pick up on time and the check doesn't bounce.

I don't really care where they go either. Like if mom stays at home and dad works, or vice versa, I don't care if he has the day off and they go on a date and I have the child all of my hours. I really don't get what a stay at home parent is doing 40 hours a week that their child can't be involved. When I was a stay at home mom, my daughter went everywhere with me. Even when my sister in law got married. She came with me to try on dresses, to do my hair, to do my nails. No one kicked me out. She didn't cause a fit. Despite that, I loved being with her, I can see how people want to leave their children home for that. What are you doing every day to not be with your child? It breaks my heart, because it says to me "It's all about me. All the time. My child is always number two". It also upset me when I was in a hs and the stay home parents would come in and only give their child special treatment. I'll never forget I had a dad who I loved as a parent. He had part time custody. He would often come to see his daughter. At first it was all her, her, her, her. Eventually, he saw the other kids were feeling bad. Some of them didn't have a dad. He would talk to them and help us with activities and when he wanted privacy with his daughter, he would take her to our outdoor area. The other children didn't feel bad.