Help Please

[Unregistered]

No he isn't aggressive to the other kids at all. He's just clueless He WAS an aggressive 2 year old, but he's really gotten past that. Lately he's gone back to throwing tantrums though, which is something that I really never saw out of him before, though apparently he's the king of tantrums at home.

marniewon, you suggest having him reassessed, but unfortunately they won't assess for ADD/ADHD here until they are in school. The OT who assessed him for autism hinted to me that she thought PERHAPS there could be an attention issue when he gets to school but she's not willing to entertain that thought further until he is older. But I specifically remember one day when he was literally vibrating. So wound up and out of control that I'd had enough, I told him to sit in the quiet spot until his body was calm and it literally took 5 minutes until he had stopped shaking and twitching and vocalizing. I literally have to hold him and be RIGHT in his face for him to focus on anything that I have to say. Sometimes I have to hold his head still so he's not turning to look at everything else in the room. His parents repeat themselves a million times to him but otherwise don't appear to do anything to encourage him to pay attention ...

[Unregistered]

hyperactivity

OK, I know that I might get flamed for this but it needs to be said. Medicating a child for ADHD is sometimes necessary. I have 2 dcbs that are brothers and they both have ADHD and they are both medicated for it. I've seen them without meds and I've seen them with the meds and I can say in all honesty that the meds have only helped the boys. My daughter was on meds until she got into 6th grade and then decided to see if she could handle school without the meds. She's doing great and I'm thankful for that. The meds that are prescribed for ADHD have really come a long way since the invention of ritalin. I hated what ritalin did to my daughter so we tried a few other meds and dosages and then we found success in adderall xr.

This kid described in the OP's post sounds like he is really not in control of himself and that is a bad situation for everyone. How can the OP feel good about turning her back for even a minute when she has a kid who is like a ticking bomb ready to go off? Is the OP afraid to leave the child out of sight for any amount of time because of what the child might do to the other kids? At the child's age, he should have the ability to exhibit some self control. If this kid hasn't been evaluated by a medical professional, then maybe it's time that he is. I know that there are a lot of people who are very anti-meds and that's fine as long as there is a plan in place to deal with behaviors that come up with ADHD.

[Blackcat31]

I'm sure I'll get some backlash as well but Adderall is an amphetamaine just like Ritalin. It's a drug. A drug for an illness that has no test or sure fire way to diagnose. (For the record the only drug on the market that I know of that isn't an amphetamine is Straterra) ADD/ADHD diagnosis is all based on what the people observing the child say. One person's opinion of hyperactive is completely different than someone else's. My son was told in Kindergarten that he has ADHD because he couldn't sit still and talked out of turn...?!? Well, um yeah, he is 5 and he comes from a family that is full of high activity. He'd also never been in a setting that required him to sit and listen for long periods of time. I will never put down anyone who does choose to medicate their child because that is their choice. I am sure some people would say it helped. But I believe that it may not have, the improvement may have come with maturity or positive reinforcement or whatever behavior management their caregiver chose to use. The only long term studies that have been done about the use of amphetamines for young children whose brains are still growing and developing has come back as negative. IMO, only 3% of the millions of children diagnosed with ADHD/ADD actually have it. I know they have brain scans that can be done to diagnose and until they begin using that method as a standard for diagnosis, I feel it is just a blanket illness they place on kids who challenge us a little more than others. Now days, kids can't run or play or mess around like kids used to do so we med them and call it ADHD/ADD just to pacify ourselves. And just to reiterate, THIS IS JUST MY PERSONAL OPINION....I MEAN NO DISRESPECT TO ANYONE!!! I DO NOT THINK LESS OR MORE OF ANYONE ELSE FOR THEIR CHOICES...I am simply stating mine.

[BentleysBands]

I think its diff. for each child. My now 18yr old son had/has adhd and we DID do meds starting at 5yrs old and it worked wonders for him . We stopped meds when he entered middle school for many reasons and his request and he hasnt had any since...and graduating with A's and B's

but our 6yr old, we are trying NO meds. since i know the side effects they cause. Alot of it is parents dealing and coping with things thats hardest IMO...but this time around we have alot of support from the internet,forums and support groups. its so much easier to cope when you as the parent and even provider has support.

[Blackcat31]

I think its diff. for each child. My now 18yr old son had/has adhd and we DID do meds starting at 5yrs old and it worked wonders for him . We stopped meds when he entered middle school for many reasons and his request and he hasnt had any since...and graduating with A's and B's

but our 6yr old, we are trying NO meds. since i know the side effects they cause. Alot of it is parents dealing and coping with things thats hardest IMO...but this time around we have alot of support from the internet,forums and support groups. its so much easier to cope when you as the parent and even provider has support.

I agree...support is probably the #1 thing parents with children who have challenging behavior are lacking. If we all had the necessary support system imagine the possibilities!!! That's why we are here on this forum...right?

[SilverSabre25]

Wow! That is crazy! I've never heard that before. Wouldn't it make just as much sense to just give them a couple spoonfuls of sugar? LOL!! I totally agree with you though about not medicating a child. I read a book called Ritalin; What Doctors Won't Tell You, and I would NEVER give any meds like that to my kid. I would try every method under the sun first...including Mnt Dew...which is the weirdest thing I've ever heard....

It's not the sugar; it the caffeine. Caffeine is a stimulant, just like most ADHD medications. The stimulants are what settle the ADHD children (I forget the science behind it, but it makes sense). I actually manage my ADD with caffeine--I can tell when I'm starting to need a caffeine hit and can tell a very quick difference after I've had some.

[Unregistered]

caffeine

It's not the sugar; it the caffeine. Caffeine is a stimulant, just like most ADHD medications. The stimulants are what settle the ADHD children (I forget the science behind it, but it makes sense). I actually manage my ADD with caffeine--I can tell when I'm starting to need a caffeine hit and can tell a very quick difference after I've had some.

I've known some people who give their kids something caffeinated it the mornings because of the caffeine's affect. I have ADHD and I can definitely feel a difference in myself on the days when I don't drink any pop versus the days that I do. It helps me to feel a little less squirrelly. Unfortunately, my ADHD symptoms are beyond the help that caffeine can give me, so I am on adderall for it. I also use schedules, lists and the like for helping me with my organization shortcomings.

[dEHmom]

I do apologize, I didn't read through ALL over the above advice, But I know I had the same problem with a 3 yr old (he was twice the size of my 4 year old!).

I found talking to the mom, and advising her that some of the foods/snacks she was providing him were not going to be fed to him regardless, but maybe at home she should consider some other alternative.

He had a high sugar intake. Alot of garbage!

I gave him a lot of water during the days, made him have a "quiet time" when all the others were napping, and of course, fed him healthy foods and snacks!

Such a great improvement.

I don't know whether this boy you have has a high sugar intake, and I'm assuming it's not given by you if he does, but regardless it's still in his system right?! Whether it's sugared cereal in the morning, maybe that fake apple juice? Who knows, so many sources it could come from, but taking that out of his diet, or reducing it will show a great improvement.

My own blood children no longer get to drink anything that is not pure juice, and even that is in moderation. They used to get so many treats from grandparents, and us, and juices like koolaid, etc, and they were always moody, and a little on the hyper side. Once those were removed and little bit more strict routines, WOW. Everyone always compliments me on the kids and how well behaved they are.

[booroo]

I think its time for the parents to have him evaluated...

Side note.... get some knee high panty hose fill them with some kind of stuffing, a soft stuffing, I used batting for quilts... tie them off..... now you can have an indoor snowball fight, only the snow is soft... I also have them and I cut a snowman out of cardboard box, painted it up, cut out the belly and we throw them through it...

[Abigail]

Create gym games that you are in charge of that would be safe inside. Make one a team effort where you can put some balls in a bucket on one end of the room and have everyone line up by you. Have them run, grab one ball, and put it in a bucket by you. You can time it in general and have it be a goal that everyone works together to get it done in so-many minutes. One at a time rule will prevent many kids from running, just teach them to wait their turn and it should be every minute. While they wait they should learn to cheer on their team mate and clap. You can also do skipping, jumping jacks, or other movement ideas that will get them moving but not so chaotic that it's disruptive. Try doing this once or twice a day when you need it. You could also say if they're cheer quietly you will turn on the music.

Please share with us if anything works.

To the original poster: Did you try this yet?

[Unregistered]

As soon as I calm down I always feel guilty about how I sometimes rant about this child. I looked back at the situations and while he does drive me mental it always comes down to get over it and take him outside for me I looked at some Ages & Stages for 4 year olds yesterday, looking for anything to bring up to Mom and the only leg I can find to stand on is to tell her to stop babying him and that will probably dramatically improve his behaviour. They picked up and Dad immediately picked this 70 pound child up and carried him around and out to the car. On top of being informed that he was really upset and coming yesterday "because of the older kids, which isn't like him at all, he loves coming to play here!"..... Clearly I know the issue isn't the older kids, as they are unbelievably tolerant of HIS unruly behaviour, the issue is that he isn't King Poop of Turd Mountain around here!

Anyway, Abigail, I actually have been on the hunt for a bunch of ball-pit type balls to be play this game with and got some yesterday. I will be trying it as soon as I have a day where we can't be outside, because otherwise our schedule is so jam-packed there really isn't any time to play it indoors.

[MissAnn]

Wow! That is crazy! I've never heard that before. Wouldn't it make just as much sense to just give them a couple spoonfuls of sugar? LOL!! I totally agree with you though about not medicating a child. I read a book called Ritalin; What Doctors Won't Tell You, and I would NEVER give any meds like that to my kid. I would try every method under the sun first...including Mnt Dew...which is the weirdest thing I've ever heard....

It's the caffeine. It's a stimulant and works on kids with ADHD. Ritalin is also a stimulant. Some kids need the medication. ADHD is both under diagnosed and over diagnosed. I don't judge the use of medication. Sometimes it's truly a lifesaver especially with the very impulsive kids who run out into the street in front of cars and other dangerous things.

[Thriftylady]

Wow! That is crazy! I've never heard that before. Wouldn't it make just as much sense to just give them a couple spoonfuls of sugar? LOL!! I totally agree with you though about not medicating a child. I read a book called Ritalin; What Doctors Won't Tell You, and I would NEVER give any meds like that to my kid. I would try every method under the sun first...including Mnt Dew...which is the weirdest thing I've ever heard....

DD had a friend (in middle school she has since moved), who had adhd, and she drank coffee. It did really help. Something about the caffeine.