Have you ever started a thread....

[nannyde]

This DOES need to be talked about. Early in my career I felt myself reach that point more often than I care to admit. It can happen to anyone. And if you don't take steps to reduce that stress and learn to handle those times, kids WILL get abused.
It doesn't have to be physical. I have seen people say some very cruel things to children because they were stressed beyond their breaking point. Or treat kids as though they are a bother and annoyance. Those things are just as damaging.
Providers, like parents, need to know that EVERYONE feels that way sometimes, and how to get support to deal with it.

Exactly. We need to talk about cumulative stress and we NEED to say that ANYONE can snap. I don't care who you are... what your experience is... how much you think you have your temper in check... you CAN go overboard with a kid in a split second.

I know this about myself. I know I am not superwoman. I'm flesh and blood.

When you realize you could do one thing one day that could ruin a family's life and your own life... then you can put in the escape hatch that keeps you from ever doing it.

The escape hatch has CUMULATIVE STRESS written on the hatch cover.

I've been obsessed with intentional child injury and death in daycare for years. I don't have a single statistics to back this up but I see a strong pattern of who the most at risk for injuring and or killing a kid. I think it is the mid 40 to mid fifty provider who allows herself to do the smaller non catchable acts that escalate over time and she doesn't get caught.

Every time she is successful being rough or mean it gives her licence to go even further. She releases her stress by committing these acts instead of dealing with the root

The root is always a crying kid and or anger at the parents.

Those two things are at the root of nearly every act of violence.

What do we see here nearly every day? Kid crying posts and pissed at the parents posts.

We talk about it. We lash out with words and try to deescalate ourselves by bringing in our friends and those who we respect.

We have a ton of lurkers who don't come forward. They are important to reach by our words.

I am often called harsh because I tackle issues that in my mind CAN and DO end up with a hurt or dead kid. The issue may be six steps before the act but they ARE on the staircase that leads to committing an act that in a flick of a moment will change your life, take away your freedom, ruin your ability to parent your own kid, and ruin another families whole world.

It's not worth it. Post away and say the truth. If you need help ASK for it and don't let what someone else thinks or does keep you from reaching out.

Know that even the most experienced and able person can go too far. Nobody is immune. I don't care who they are.

[Blackcat31]

Exactly. We need to talk about cumulative stress and we NEED to say that ANYONE can snap. I don't care who you are... what your experience is... how much you think you have your temper in check... you CAN go overboard with a kid in a split second.

I know this about myself. I know I am not superwoman. I'm flesh and blood.

When you realize you could do one thing one day that could ruin a family's life and your own life... then you can put in the escape hatch that keeps you from ever doing it.

The escape hatch has CUMULATIVE STRESS written on the hatch cover.

I've been obsessed with intentional child injury and death in daycare for years. I don't have a single statistics to back this up but I see a strong pattern of who the most at risk for injuring and or killing a kid. I think it is the mid 40 to mid fifty provider who allows herself to do the smaller non catchable acts that escalate over time and she doesn't get caught.

Every time she is successful being rough or mean it gives her licence to go even further. She releases her stress by committing these acts instead of dealing with the root

The root is always a crying kid and or anger at the parents.

Those two things are at the root of nearly every act of violence.

What do we see here nearly every day? Kid crying posts and pissed at the parents posts.

We talk about it. We lash out with words and try to deescalate ourselves by bringing in our friends and those who we respect.

We have a ton of lurkers who don't come forward. They are important to reach by our words.

I am often called harsh because I tackle issues that in my mind CAN and DO end up with a hurt or dead kid. The issue may be six steps before the act but they ARE on the staircase that leads to committing an act that in a flick of a moment will change your life, take away your freedom, ruin your ability to parent your own kid, and ruin another families whole world.

It's not worth it. Post away and say the truth. If you need help ASK for it and don't let what someone else thinks or does keep you from reaching out.

Know that even the most experienced and able person can go too far. Nobody is immune. I don't care who they are.

These are some VERY true words.

I have had my fair share of stressful situations and situations I KNOW could have ended badly had I not simply given myself permission to walk away.

To term. To admit I can no longer deal with.
Failure on my part or not.

If a provider is stressed enough to break but is "held hostage" by thoughts of "owing it to the child/family" or "finances" or "I really like this kid" etc...then that sets the stage for a really bad outcome should all the contributing factors come together at once.

[Cat Herder]

I don't have a single statistics to back this up

.

This is where I get most of my statistics for the abuse recognition classes I teach. Sadly, the rest are from the coroners office.

https://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/statistics/can/stat_outOfHome.cfm