Threatening to Term When I Won't Give Special Treatment?

[aDCProvider]

I have DCM who keeps making special requests to skip following policy and if I say no she threatens to pull her child and starts attacking my character. This has happened twice already. Now I'm expecting another request for free vacation and I honestly cannot afford to let them skip a week of payment, but I also cannot afford for them to pull either. I really don't like that this Mom has bullied me into a corner and she knows it so she keeps making these requests.

I know this is my fault for letting it happen in the first place, but she started the requesting/threatening when I was very vulnerable, I had just had a baby, had reopened my daycare, only had a couple kids and wasn't making enough, and being scared of not being able to provide for my new baby I gave in and now she's been continuing the same behavior.

I cannot afford to let this family go...what do I do?

[daycarediva]

Interview and replace, immediately.

If she asks about not paying for vacation, stand your ground. I would allow her to pay 1/2 here and there, but just to NOT pay? no.

[Cat Herder]

Start advertising for a new family.

This will never stop. Once you let them get by with an exception there is no going back. Your contract is invalid to her now.

[cara041083]

Honestly Hold your ground and see what happens. I had a family that did this same thing to me with everything. Naps, lunch, pick up, drop off, part time, full time, money and so on and so on. I spent a YEAR working with them and caving because I was worried about loosing money and last month they brought her and told me that they didn't have the money to pay me and they would pay me when they got there taxes back in APRIL. When I held my ground, they pulled her. Life is SO much better now! there is no money in the world that you could pay me to put up with that again and I will NEVER let a parent do that to me again! But I had to learn my lesson the hard way. Good luck. You and your business is so much better then letting this mom do that to you. :hug:

[aDCProvider]

Start advertising for a new family.

This will never stop. Once you let them get by with an exception there is no going back. Your contract is invalid to her now.

I definitely will. Do I give in to the requests until I can replace them? I was thinking of offering to discount tuition for their vacation week by the cost of feeding their child which Is $25/week.

[craftymissbeth]

I definitely will. Do I give in to the requests until I can replace them? I was thinking of offering to discount tuition for their vacation week by the cost of feeding their child which Is $25/week.

I wouldn't give them any discount whatsoever. They knew what was in your contract when they signed it.

[Heidi]

"DCM, you know I adore DCG, but honestly, I've already compromised enough for you. As you know, I do this to earn a living. If that's not reasonable to you, then maybe finding other care is a good idea. I will just have to fill her spot with someone from my waiting list, although since I love dcg so much, I'd prefer not to".


or, something to that affect. "although, dcg is so happy here, I prefer not to"

[craftymissbeth]

Wait... is this YOUR vacation where you're closed or THEIR vacation where you're open but they're choosing not to bring dck?

[crazydaycarelady]

I had a dcm do this to me and it ended in disaster. She wanted me to work some days that I was scheduled to have off. I told her no. She made some allegations but still wanted to bring her kid here. I told her to leave immediately so she filed a complaint with the state. Of course it was unfounded but what a hassle. I'd replace these people pronto!

[aDCProvider]

Wait... is this YOUR vacation where you're closed or THEIR vacation where you're open but they're choosing not to bring dck?

Their vacation.

[Cat Herder]

I definitely will. Do I give in to the requests until I can replace them? I was thinking of offering to discount tuition for their vacation week by the cost of feeding their child which Is $25/week.

Only you will know your true financial risk. Personally, I'd call her bluff and ask her if I can take that as her two weeks notice. I'd mention the 4 families waiting on her spot casually and look somewhat disinterested in her reply... Awkward Silence. (even if there was no wait list. POKER FACE )

At my house this shuts them down and they apologize or laugh it off as "can't hurt to ask".

In your shoes, I don't know because my bills will be paid either way. I want you to stand up to her because it may salvage the relationship, but don't know your true risk...

[Play Care]

I definitely will. Do I give in to the requests until I can replace them? I was thinking of offering to discount tuition for their vacation week by the cost of feeding their child which Is $25/week.

No, do not give in. I would say what Heidi suggested. Maybe she will pull and good riddance. And if she starts attacking you, term on the spot. But maybe once you call her bluff she'll settle down. I'd still replace her as soon as you can

[Blackcat31]

My handbook states VERY clearly what "group care" means.

It says:

ABC Child Care is a group child care and does not have sufficient staff or means to provide individualized child care services.

Any requests for specialized care outside the normal array of services I provide must be conducive to group care and cannot challenge any policy within this handbook.

Requests for specialized care are subject to provider approval and subject to a rate increase for the addition of "special services".


Right above that statement it says:

"Please remember that I, as a child care provider, own my business and offer services for a fee.

I set my own guidelines, policies and decide which services to offer.

You, as the parent, must decide if the services I offer meet your needs."

If I were you, the next time mom asks for anything outside your normal policies, I would politely decline and simply say "I'm sorry that does not work for me." or "If my services no longer meet your needs, please remember to submit notice of withdrawl as outlined in my policies."


I TOTALLY understand NEEDING the income but unless you are going to work for her (for that income) then you have to stand your ground.

BIG difference between owning and running your own business according to your policies and simply being a family's employee.

[jenn]

Once they receive special, they always expect special. If you are ready to stand your ground, do it and never let them get away with it again. In my experience, a lot of these pushy parents back down when you push back.

If your contract says that they should pay full amount for vacation weeks, expect it. "DCP, I know in the past that I have agreed to let you break our contract by not paying for vacations. However out of fairness for me and the other families, I have to hold to the contract." If she threatens to leave, put it back on her. "I'm sorry you feel that way. Remember to give your 2 weeks notice.".

If you absolutely cannot afford to lose them, and think she would actually leave, not just threaten it, make a deal. "DCP, I know in the past that I have agreed to let you break our contract by not paying for vacations. From this point on, I simply cannot afford to do that. However, I would be willing to let you pay a reduced amount during your vacation." If she argues that, same response of "I'm sorry you feel that way. I am being more than fair in working with you. Remember to give your 2 weeks notice." .

[butterfly]

Honestly Hold your ground and see what happens. I had a family that did this same thing to me with everything. Naps, lunch, pick up, drop off, part time, full time, money and so on and so on. I spent a YEAR working with them and caving because I was worried about loosing money and last month they brought her and told me that they didn't have the money to pay me and they would pay me when they got there taxes back in APRIL. When I held my ground, they pulled her. Life is SO much better now! there is no money in the world that you could pay me to put up with that again and I will NEVER let a parent do that to me again! But I had to learn my lesson the hard way. Good luck. You and your business is so much better then letting this mom do that to you. :hug:

I wouldn't back down either. It might actually be a blessing if they end up leaving.