Grandparents

[Naptime yet?]

If when a parent brings a child to daycare on their day off is "bad", what about when grandparents are visiting from out-of- town? It's a whole new crazy culture to me when grandparents, who live out-of-state, come to visit, maybe see their grand kids once every three months, and the kids STILL get sent to daycare (hate to disrupt the routine?). Why wouldn't/couldn't they stay home with grandma/pa? Any insights into this? What is happening to society? Is it time for me to crawl back into my cave

[Laurel]

If when a parent brings a child to daycare on their day off is "bad", what about when grandparents are visiting from out-of- town? It's a whole new crazy culture to me when grandparents, who live out-of-state, come to visit, maybe see their grand kids once every three months, and the kids STILL get sent to daycare (hate to disrupt the routine?). Why wouldn't/couldn't they stay home with grandma/pa? Any insights into this? What is happening to society? Is it time for me to crawl back into my cave

As a grandparent myself I think it is nuts. But, maybe grandparents just don't want to spend any more time with the grandchild than the parents do. Sad.

Laurel

[nannyde]

They don't like being around the kids. Small doses of fun kid in control time can be tolerated but once the mood and pace go into relax and adults being able to do each other the kid says no to it. The only way for the adults to enjoy each other is without the kids. Win win for Grands because they only have good times with the kids and don't have to endure the regular life minute to minute of the kids normal home behavior.

They still have before and after daycare to endure. Every minute is torture when they aren't completely pleasing the kids. So... a couple of evening hours feels like an eternity. Then the bedtime nightmare begins. It's escalated because the kids have an audience. By the time jr goes to bed the grands are toast. The next morning.... Finnegan Beginagain

Keep in mind too that the average grandparent has had a screen life of at least ten years. They like the phone, internet, tv too. Playing Candy Crush is way more fun than being in the front row of the "No no" parenting show.

[MyAngels]

I don't understand it either. I know when my own kids were little, before I started the daycare, whenever either of their grandparents visited they spent all the time they could with my kids. They still talk about the cute and funny things they did to this day. Apparently no everyone values family the same way.

[kathiemarie]

Where do you think the parents learned to parent? They (the grandparents) most likely dropped their kids (now the parents) off at daycare when they weren't working too.

[cheerfuldom]

I find that among people I know in real life, the grandparents are like this because their grand kids are TERRORS and it is too hard for the grandparents to be around when the parents are not parenting and the grandbabies are running wild. I have several friends whose parents have said they will not watch their own grandchilds.....I know these grandchildren and I wouldn't watch them either. Grandparents these days are much more independent and active and it really drags down the show to come into to town to listen to a 4 year old scream for three days. Really, I am not surprised that more and more grandparents cannot handle to be around grandkids for very long....especially when parents will not say no, will not discipline, will not teach manners, etc.

[boysx5]

If when a parent brings a child to daycare on their day off is "bad", what about when grandparents are visiting from out-of- town? It's a whole new crazy culture to me when grandparents, who live out-of-state, come to visit, maybe see their grand kids once every three months, and the kids STILL get sent to daycare (hate to disrupt the routine?). Why wouldn't/couldn't they stay home with grandma/pa? Any insights into this? What is happening to society? Is it time for me to crawl back into my cave

I was just telling a friend this the other day don't understand it and I guess I never will,

[cheerfuldom]

They don't like being around the kids. Small doses of fun kid in control time can be tolerated but once the mood and pace go into relax and adults being able to do each other the kid says no to it. The only way for the adults to enjoy each other is without the kids. Win win for Grands because they only have good times with the kids and don't have to endure the regular life minute to minute of the kids normal home behavior.

They still have before and after daycare to endure. Every minute is torture when they aren't completely pleasing the kids. So... a couple of evening hours feels like an eternity. Then the bedtime nightmare begins. It's escalated because the kids have an audience. By the time jr goes to bed the grands are toast. The next morning.... Finnegan Beginagain

Keep in mind too that the average grandparent has had a screen life of at least ten years. They like the phone, internet, tv too. Playing Candy Crush is way more fun than being in the front row of the "No no" parenting show.

hilarious post. anyway, if they miss the "no no" show that night, there is sure to be reruns on the rest of the week Seriously if my kids let my grandkids go wild, I am not going to subject myself to using vacation time to hear kids scream for a week. really. no wonder grandparents are checking out left and right.

[spinnymarie]

I have to say that when I did take my kids to DC, I brought them even when my ILs were visiting... I don't trust my ILs to care for them all day. I think once my oldest DD was 3 I let her stay with my MIL when she came down for the day, but still brought my DS, who was a baby, to DC.

[Annalee]

If when a parent brings a child to daycare on their day off is "bad", what about when grandparents are visiting from out-of- town? It's a whole new crazy culture to me when grandparents, who live out-of-state, come to visit, maybe see their grand kids once every three months, and the kids STILL get sent to daycare (hate to disrupt the routine?). Why wouldn't/couldn't they stay home with grandma/pa? Any insights into this? What is happening to society? Is it time for me to crawl back into my cave

The "disrupt the routine" defense REALLY gets on my nerves....but is the excuse used most frequently. :confused:

[kindertouch]

If when a parent brings a child to daycare on their day off is "bad", what about when grandparents are visiting from out-of- town? It's a whole new crazy culture to me when grandparents, who live out-of-state, come to visit, maybe see their grand kids once every three months, and the kids STILL get sent to daycare (hate to disrupt the routine?). Why wouldn't/couldn't they stay home with grandma/pa? Any insights into this? What is happening to society? Is it time for me to crawl back into my cave

I've no trouble with my inlaws when it comes to taking care of my kids so I guess I am one of those lucky ones? My DD is her first granddaughter so she's some kind of a spoiled one whenever MIL is around. Even though I know it isn't healthy, I don't want to control it because it's the only way I could make my MIL happy (maybe somehow, deep inside).

[Soccermom]

Where do you think the parents learned to parent? They (the grandparents) most likely dropped their kids (now the parents) off at daycare when they weren't working too.

This!

This is the truth. I have a DCF who just had a new baby and Grandma and Grandpa came to stay with them for 2 weeks. The other 2 DCKS still came the full 3 days a week. Grandma dropped them off bright and early and DCD was one of the last to pick up. Sad.

Grandma is back visiting for Christmas and they still asked if they could bring the kids next week. I said I am only open for parents who absolutely need childcare since it is the Holidays and I want to spend time with my kids if I can. DCD and DCM both don't work. Crazy.

[Scribbles]

Where do you think the parents learned to parent? They (the grandparents) most likely dropped their kids (now the parents) off at daycare when they weren't working too.

I'm sure this has been covered before, but I am confused as to why so many providers get upset when a child still comes to daycare when the parents aren't working?

I have read on here that most providers feel pretty strongly about being a teacher and teaching preschool to the children, but then seem upset when the child attends daily whether the parent works or not.

Parents don't keep their kids home from Kindergarten if they have a random Tuesday off so why is preschool different?

Also daycare wasn't the same when these grandparents used it as it is now days.

Daycare providers have evolved into small businesses and providers are now teachers and I think that those types of changes have basically "encouraged" parents to bring their kids every day, whether they work or not.

Back when I used daycare myself, providers were basically in-home babysitters. I paid for the time I used and she provided a wonderfully warm and loving environment that was as close to "home" as it could get.

Now, services are billed even when not used and everything is all about business, contracts and rules. As a parent, it gets confusing, so unless the preschool is actually closed, I can see why kids just come 5 days a week whether the parent works or not.

[Cradle2crayons]

I'm sure this has been covered before, but I am confused as to why so many providers get upset when a child still comes to daycare when the parents aren't working?

I have read on here that most providers feel pretty strongly about being a teacher and teaching preschool to the children, but then seem upset when the child attends daily whether the parent works or not.

Parents don't keep their kids home from Kindergarten if they have a random Tuesday off so why is preschool different?

Also daycare wasn't the same when these grandparents used it as it is now days.

Daycare providers have evolved into small businesses and providers are now teachers and I think that those types of changes have basically "encouraged" parents to bring their kids every day, whether they work or not.

Back when I used daycare myself, providers were basically in-home babysitters. I paid for the time I used and she provided a wonderfully warm and loving environment that was as close to "home" as it could get.

Now, services are billed even when not used and everything is all about business, contracts and rules. As a parent, it gets confusing, so unless the preschool is actually closed, I can see why kids just come 5 days a week whether the parent works or not.

Kindy is a little different, at least here, because once enrolled for the year, attendance is MANDATORY. Of course my kids would go to school if I didn't work.

Kindy can't be compared to daycare.

[Moppetland]

I'm sure this has been covered before, but I am confused as to why so many providers get upset when a child still comes to daycare when the parents aren't working?

I have read on here that most providers feel pretty strongly about being a teacher and teaching preschool to the children, but then seem upset when the child attends daily whether the parent works or not.

Parents don't keep their kids home from Kindergarten if they have a random Tuesday off so why is preschool different?

Also daycare wasn't the same when these grandparents used it as it is now days.

Daycare providers have evolved into small businesses and providers are now teachers and I think that those types of changes have basically "encouraged" parents to bring their kids every day, whether they work or not.

Back when I used daycare myself, providers were basically in-home babysitters. I paid for the time I used and she provided a wonderfully warm and loving environment that was as close to "home" as it could get.

Now, services are billed even when not used and everything is all about business, contracts and rules. As a parent, it gets confusing, so unless the preschool is actually closed, I can see why kids just come 5 days a week whether the parent works or not.

I understand what you're saying. If they have to pay anyway, then bring them.

This is why I have as a policy that the DCF must have back-up care when I'm closed, because when I set my vacation/personal/holiday schedule, I will take those days off, regardless if parents have to work or not.

I know some providers will ask a DCP if they have to work on a certain holiday, or during a long holiday break, and base whether they will take off on what the parent say. If they keep doing that, they will never have any time off. This will lead to a burn out.

But I also feel that the reason why most of the providers complain about parents bringing their children on their off days or during grandparent visits isn't because they don't want them there, it's because they can't fathom a parent not wanting to spend the little time they do have with them. DCKS are in DC anywhere from 35 - 50 hours per week. Once they go home, it's dinner then bed time.

But this is a new day and time. Children are being born to parents who just don't have the time to spend with them and their jobs and social life are more important, so they depend on other sources (DC) to raise their children.

When I was growing up, it was a privilege to be in preschool, and DC was family, neighbors and close friends. But now, I don't ask anymore. They can come as long as I'm open, but they need to be prepared when I'm not.