Since When Did Money Become More Important?

[beach_grl]

I have to agree with the OP. It is sad that parents don't want to spend more time with their children. One of my former parents was a teacher. She sent her child to me on her days off-all the time. She was off for Spring Break-the child came to me anyway. Her excuse? She needed to CLEAN her house. Really? You can't clean your house with your child there? If I couldn't get things done with kids around, I'd be in real trouble. SHe was off at the gym and cleaning her house, and her poor child (who I am sure would have loved some extra mom-time) was at my house. I am a daycare provider. I take care of children so their parents can work. I am not a BABYSITTER-if you want to have lunch with a friend, hire one. Or-here's a thought-TAKE your child to lunch with you! That's the trouble with a lot of parents today-the thought to actually spend time with their kids never crosses their mind!

[MommyMuffin]

I have been thinking a lot about what...I think it was laundrydychess said in a post once..she said something along the lines of..you can tell when the parents really wanted to have kids compared to the ones that just happened too.
This is so true and I was thinking about it, it is sad and I think some people just like the "idea" of having children and being a mom. Nobody would dare stand up and tell them how to raise their children even if they are clearly not showing near enough love, attention and affection. So they go on doing what they do...perhaps they think they deserve all this alone time without children and dont realize how wonderful their children are, I just dont know. But some people are naturally just not good parents... and I dont think it takes any type of education to be a good parent..just a lot of love.

[MarinaVanessa]

...I think it was laundrydychess said in a post once..she said something along the lines of..you can tell when the parents really wanted to have kids compared to the ones that just happened too.

Yes it was Laundry and it was in response to something that I posted about how parent's just sometimes don't have a clue. This saying can be applied to some parent's on so many levels that it's dissapointing. I think that I'll remember this quote for a long time because I know so many people that it applies to and I'm not just talking about DCP's.

My SIL that got pregnant at a young age, now has 2 kids and isn't with their dad and now wants to go out and live the life that she missed out on and so will regularly (about 3 times a week) leave her kids with me, their grandma's, or their dads house. A friend of mine that wanted the dream husband, dream wedding, dream house, dream family and dream life and has two kids that run around and keep themselves entertained all day because mom (SAHM) is on the computer all day long or napping. She doesn't even know what her kids' favorite colors are, or what their favorite's are etc. And the oldest is 5 and will pull out the chicken nuggets from the freezer and pop them in the microwave to serve himself and his 2yo brother. .

I guess I was just never one of those kinds of mom. I had it "happen to me", my 1st pregnancy was unplanned but I made my bed and I laid in it. My mom and my sister have sat me down this 2nd pregnancy (which was planned BTW : and have seriously and literaly told me that this baby better be allowed to go to their house and stay the night without me, even as a baby, because I was "stingy" with my daughter. They complained that I never let her out of my sight, that I never let her stay the night at grandma's house or even just for the day and that when they did see her I was always there and taking over. I guess I never really thought about it but I always thought that she was my daughter, my my responsibility and I enjoyed it. I never gave it a second thought. Sadly, not everyone is built like this.

[DanceMom]

i know there are parents who just don't care and don't want to deal with their kids, but that's not always the case. it's absurd to think that working parents don't spend enough time with their kids. that's like saying if your child goes to school then you don't spend enough time with them. they (and you) are still with their children every weekend/every morning/every evening. you don't have to be a stay at home mom to be a good mom. god forbid someone let their child go to daycare (with a supposedly wonderful provider which they pay for) and let them play with their friends whom they love while they go pay bills - or (GASP) have lunch with a friend they haven't seen in a year.

unbelievable.

Qaulitcare - did you read any of the posts ? No one is complaining about the occassional day off to go to lunch or pay bills...my complaint is the parent that drops off for the FULL day for EVERY SINGLE one of their days off. These kids are in daycare for almost 12 hours a DAY FIVE days a week..I was that working parent that worked 10+ hours out of the home but when I ahd that day off, or got off early I RUSHED to get my daughter. If I went to lunch with a friend - SHE WENT WITH. If Had errands to run SHE WENT WITH. If I stayed home to clean the house SHE WAS THERE WITH ME. I didnt get to spend enough time with her the way it was and I wasnt about to send her to daycare on the days that I had an option to spend the day with her or clean my house. I dont care if I Paid for it. She is more imporant to me than ALL the money in the world. And yeah, she loved her daycare and her friends...but I guarantee you she loved spending those days with ME more since she rarely got to spend time with me.

Your child going to school vs being sent to daycare is NOT the same. Your child goes to school for 6 maybe 7 hours tops. These kids are in daycare for TWELVE hours a day...go home and eat dinner and are put to bed. Some of my parents want their kids to nap ONE hour at the age of 1 because they want them in BED right after dinner. Its sickening.. Oh and then they want to complain to me that their kids love me more...spend so much time with me more than them, blah blah but they are so quick to send them here on their days off.

It is disgusting ! Do I think your a bad mom to send your kids to daycare and work outside the home, absolutely NOT. Do I think your a bad mom to send your kids to daycare on every single one of your days off and not cherish in that time to spend with your kids - NO , but I do think your priorities are a little screwed up!

[Unregistered]

I do have to agree it did drive me nuts when I had a parent like that who use to be home from work everyday at 4pm and wait till I closed right at 5:30pm it was a pain because everyone else was gone between 5 and 5:15 everyday. If I worked 8 to 5 outside of the home I would drop off 30 minutes before and pick up 30 minutes after within my work time so I could travel and if I was off on Fridays I would still take my kids to daycare too for HALF a day thou so I could clean, pay bills, do laundry, do errands etc, so I could just focus on them on the weekends but I wouldnt leave them the whole day so I can not blame some parents for doing this.

[MyAngels]

The more I think about this, the more I wonder what makes some parents feel one way, and some feel the other?

I'm in my mid forties, with three grown kids. Before I started my home daycare all three of mine were in daycare when I worked. I never sent them unless I was working. If I was off they stayed home. That just seemed natural to me, and I never gave it another thought. My husband and children were my life, and they were who I chose to spend my "spare" time with (still are, actually). On my days off I often cleaned the house, ran errands and shopped and the kids went along for all of it. That's how they learn the things they will need when they grow up, right?

Some would probably say it's the younger parents who are more likely to leave their kids in daycare when they have time off, but I have had many younger parents over the years who felt the way I did and kept their kids at home with them when they were off.

So I wonder what the difference is? Maybe how you were raised by your own parents? Is it something that's innate? Whatever the answer is, I think it would make for an interesting discussion at a roundtable somewhere...

[QualiTcare]

everyone wants to get paid the maximum for the least amount of work - that's the way it is, and daycare is no different.

if you want to be real about it, it has less to do with anyone being concerned about a child spending quality time with their parents and more to do with not wanting to work if you feel like you "shouldn't have to."

i know several ladies at a daycare i worked for in the past who couldn't stand it if a child came when the parent was off - and that included the "good parents" who normally picked up early, paid on time, etc. it didn't matter. if they weren't working, their kids shouldn't be there! of course, most daycare provider's work during all business hours M-F so they don't have the opportunity to go to the bank or the post office, etc. how annoying - someone else gets the day off to do those things and they bring their child to you AND pay you to keep them! the audacity!

this has been debated a million times and it's really pointless. provider's get paid to keep children. they get paid whether or not the parents are working, shopping, or having a freak session in their basement. it doesn't really matter and it's nobody's business.

[momofboys]

everyone wants to get paid the maximum for the least amount of work - that's the way it is, and daycare is no different.

if you want to be real about it, it has less to do with anyone being concerned about a child spending quality time with their parents and more to do with not wanting to work if you feel like you "shouldn't have to."

i know several ladies at a daycare i worked for in the past who couldn't stand it if a child came when the parent was off - and that included the "good parents" who normally picked up early, paid on time, etc. it didn't matter. if they weren't working, their kids shouldn't be there! of course, most daycare provider's work during all business hours M-F so they don't have the opportunity to go to the bank or the post office, etc. how annoying - someone else gets the day off to do those things and they bring their child to you AND pay you to keep them! the audacity!

this has been debated a million times and it's really pointless. provider's get paid to keep children. they get paid whether or not the parents are working, shopping, or having a freak session in their basement. it doesn't really matter and it's nobody's business.

This is why I do not have a policy where the parents have to pay whether they come or not. I must have advance notice but if a parent has the day off I find it encouraging that they won't use $$$ as a reason to have their child in my home because they don't have to pay if they don't come (unless they call off sick!).

[QualiTcare]

This is why I do not have a policy where the parents have to pay whether they come or not. I must have advance notice but if a parent has the day off I find it encouraging that they won't use $$$ as a reason to have their child in my home because they don't have to pay if they don't come (unless they call off sick!).

that's great - especially if you feel so strongly about people not sending their kids to daycare if they aren't working. i said this in another thread - if you feel that strongly about it, then don't charge them. it works both ways. providers don't think kids should come if their parents aren't working, and parents don't think providers should get paid if they aren't working. so, if the money isn't REALLY that important - don't charge!

[Unregistered]

QualiTcare - I love your way of thinking. Sure, there might be the occasional parent who'd rather do anything else BUT care for their child, but I believe that number is extremely small.

I've been a dcp for many years, & it has been very rare that I have run into a parent who'd rather work than be with their own child. And how could I positively KNOW this anyway? Do I see them 24 hours a day? Do I have special x-ray vision capable of knowing their inner thoughts? Of course not. I only see these parents for minutes of each day - minutes when they are hurrying off to work or tired at the end of the day, and hurrying in to get their child before running home, making dinner, doing laundry, paying bills, etc. Even though I speak to them and some stay longer than others, I have no idea what they are thinking, what they do every weekend, what other responsibilities they have. And that is none of my business. I certainly won't label someone a bad parent because they feel they need complete solitude to clean their house (and I understand that too) or love having every Monday off - 100% kid-free. It's my job to care for their child and that's what they pay me to do. That's it. I have no business judging someone else's parenting skills based on what they do on their off-days or off-hours.

[DBug]

t if the money isn't REALLY that important - don't charge!

I totally agree with this! I really believe that if you don't want parents to bring their kids on their days off, you need to let them have the day off for free. I think it sends a very mixed message if you expect parents to keep their kids for the day while still paying you.

[Blackcat31]

I had a family once that came right at 7 a.m., and picked up right at 5 p.m. (my hours exactly). This was at the same time that my oldest turned 16 and started driving. He came home from practice at 4 p.m. every day. One day he saw a car sitting a block away and noticed it was this dcd, just sitting there. After seeing this for a few days he pulled over, tapped on the window, and asked if there was a problem (good kid, he was concerned). Dad said, no, I'm just waiting until your Mom closes, so I can pick up the kids. Needless to say, we had a nice talk about this. I made them feel very guilty for leaving their children long past the time when others were picked up. Sometimes I just scratch my head over the thought processes of folks.

OMG!! That is sooo funny! The family I mentioned in my post must be related to your early family because the little girl in my family (she is Kindergarden) told me the other day that her and her mom sometimes drive around the block in the morning waiting until I open. I don't live in my daycare house so they are basically driving around aimlessly waiting until I arrive. I get here at any time after 7 a.m. and don't open until 7:30 but they are always here seconds after I arrive, no matter what time I get here and now I know why...they are just driving around til they see me get here and then come over!! It does make you scratch your head....but it is funny!

[[email protected]]

This is why I do time contracts with families not just an open close time. I do however have parents that drop off at 7 and pick up at 530. every day. working or not. I figure that I am being paid, so I dont care,.. they arent hurting me at all. Im a childcare provider,.. not a childcare only while you work provider. They are Only hurting their own kid ~who if this is the way they are,.. are better off here, playing with their friends instead of parked in a carseat or in front of a tv while mom does her "thing".

[My4SunshineGirlsNY]

I am living that right now...I do daycare for my sister in law, her son is 2 1/2. She has the whole week off this week and told me since I need the money, she will still bring him at least 1/2 days and some full days this week.

What!!?? She signed a contract just like every other parent in my care that days are paid whether the child is here or not and I only allow 1 non paid day in one week (I give 10 non paid days per year to full time parents), and she very well knows this rule as she has been using my daycare for 2 1/2 years now.

I was telling my husband last night that I must be a different breed because if I were working full time (and I was when my youngest daughter was 3), I would want that week to spend with her...I would rather pay my week and be with my child than send them while I was home. It just isn't right or fair to the child!! I missed my daughter terrible when I was working.

I just don't understand how some of these parents think...it really just upsets me to no end!

[Lucy]

I have a dcm and dcd who bring their child (was children, but daughter went to kindergarten this year) at 7:00 a.m. and pick up at 5:30 p.m. every day. Mom works 9-4:30 Monday through Thursday and dad works 9-5 Monday through Friday. Mom is off on Fridays and she still has her kid(s) in child care. When she gets done working at 4:30 she goes home and lets her husband pick up the kids after he gets off. I swear he sits at work and counts down til 5:30 because he NEVER walks in the door until 5:30 on the dot. He works 3 blocks from me. In the mornings, the mom drops off at 7 (actually she is here at 6:45 but waits in car til I open at 7). When I asked her why they come so early she says she likes to get some coffee and read the paper and relax before she starts her day. When I questioned why she leaves kids til dad gets done working she said because she drops off so it is only fair he pick up. In the summer, the dcg who is in kindergarten now told me that her and her mom and dcb drive around the block in morning unit I open!!!!
This family always pays and kids are great but REALLY?!?!?

I think I watch the cousins of your kids!! LOL. Dad has off every-other-Friday, but kids have never once stayed with him. Mom gets to take off half or full days whenever she wants (CPA firm, and if she's not busy, she doesn't work), but kids come every day at 7:30. I can tell every time she has gotten home early and taken a nap, because she is in jeans (dresses up for work) and her hair is messed up and/or pillow line on her face. Like you, I swear they have a timer at home set for 5:25, and that's when they leave to come and pick up - because they pull up every single evening at 5:30 sharp. If mom goes in late (she is upfront and tells me!), they will still arrive at 7:30 sharp. Mom will go back home and do whatever. Probably go back to bed! If one of the kids has a 9:30 doctor appointment and she has taken 1/2 day off because of it, she will still bring them at 7:30 sharp and then pick up the one with the appt. at about 9:10, and immediately bring that one back as soon as the appt. is done. Even if it's 10:15 and she doesn't need to be to work till 12:30. The business woman in me realizes she's just getting her money's worth (I charge a monthly fee with no deductions for time off), but the human in me is sad for the kids that their parents would rather dump them off than spend time with them.

Funny thing is, this mom & dad I just talked about have become friends with the mom & dad of another kid in my daycare because the kids are such good friends - and the other mom & dad will pick up their daughter whenEVER they are off work. Whether it's 30 min early, or if they have half a day off, or a vacation day, etc. Their daughter is ONLY here when they are at work. You'd think the first set of parents would see that and catch a clue!! NOT!