Would You Take A Gender Non-Conforming Child?

[crazydaycarelady]

A gender non-conforming child is a child who was born as one sex but lives as another.

For example a 4yo boy who is legally a boy but likes to wear girls clothes and play with girl toys, plays with girls, plays dress up in princess dresses, plays the mommy in roll-play, and wants girl toys as birthday gifts. The parents are rolling with it, even considering giving the child hormones to avoid going through puberty as a male. That way if the boy wants to be a female when he becomes an adult he won't have broad shoulders, facial hair etc.

I know we can't discriminate. I think (I know) I would lose other families though. As a business I would suffer.

[Unregistered]

A gender non-conforming child is a child who was born as one sex but lives as another.

For example a 4yo boy who is legally a boy but likes to wear girls clothes and play with girl toys, plays with girls, plays dress up in princess dresses, plays the mommy in roll-play, and wants girl toys as birthday gifts. The parents are rolling with it, even considering giving the child hormones to avoid going through puberty as a male. That way if the boy wants to be a female when he becomes an adult he won't have broad shoulders, facial hair etc.

I know we can't discriminate. I think (I know) I would lose other families though. As a business I would suffer.

Am I reading this right? Parents want to give a 4 year old hormones to stop being a boy?

[daycarediva]

I would accept him into care, as long as they weren't militant about the use of pronouns (he/she) and using his real name, that sort of thing. I have kids who flip flop between gender roles now. My dcg plays the Daddy in play, and always clarifies "I am the Daddy and I am a BOY!" I have done a good job with my current group of allowing them to be themselves, whoever that is.

I have a boy in care who looks so much like a girl, he is confused as a girl. Long hair (his choice) wears purple and pink (fav colors) and he is often the Mommy/sister in play.

It doesn't affect me/the other kids in care/my other clients in the least.

[SilverSabre25]

Why would you lose other families? Why would your business suffer? I'm afraid I don't follow your logic at all.

Yes of course I would take a gender non-conforming child. it's not my business. It's not the other daycare families' business. it's solely the business of the child and his parents. And mostly the child.

And if he dresses like a girl and plays like a girl and for all intents and purposes while in your care is going to BE a girl, then why should anyone besides you, she, and her parents know what is or isn't between her legs?

[Heidi]

yes!

Since I have a 16 yo. gender non-conforming child of my own, I would. Even if I didn't, I would.

I actually miss having non-traditional children of non-traditional families in my program. I live in a rural area where everything is pretty traditional. I have 2 single moms...big whoopy!

[spinnymarie]

Definitely. The hormones likely won't even be an issue while the child is in your care, not that it matters much.
My little sister told everyone she was boy from the time she could talk until she was about 5 yrs old, at which point she had a change of heart.
Everyone just went with it, she wore swimming trunks and 'boy clothes', etc.
I don't see how it would be an issue, honestly. Some parents may not be willing to 'roll with it' for their own children, but if they had issue with this decision by a different family... I don't think I'd want to do business with them anyway.

[Maria2013]

A gender non-conforming child is a child who was born as one sex but lives as another.

For example a 4yo boy who is legally a boy but likes to wear girls clothes and play with girl toys, plays with girls, plays dress up in princess dresses, plays the mommy in roll-play, and wants girl toys as birthday gifts. The parents are rolling with it, even considering giving the child hormones to avoid going through puberty as a male. That way if the boy wants to be a female when he becomes an adult he won't have broad shoulders, facial hair etc.

I know we can't discriminate. I think (I know) I would lose other families though. As a business I would suffer.

I would have no problem what so ever with having such a child

[Brooksie]

I would have no problem what so ever with having such a child

Same. Wouldn't phase me in the least. And its not any of your other dcfs business what the back story is. As far as they need to know (and the family and child are really set on it) you have a new daycare girl. Nothing else to elaborate on.

[Sugar Magnolia]

Why would you lose business? :confused:

[littlemissmuffet]

I would absolutely take the child... and I would be more than happy to lose clients who wouldn't want their child exposed to non gender conformity. Buh-bye!

[MrsBelvedere]

Personally (and I am speaking for myself only), I wouldn't care. I would happily welcome the child with open arms. No judgement here. Children are innocent beings until we adults start imposing our own ideas of whats right and wrong, strange, abnormal etc. I'm in the business of nurturing children, allowing them to explore their environment and encouraging a healthy sense of self esteem.

It is not my place to second guess the parent, whatever this child needs to feel emotionally safe, I am willing to do because as far as I am concerned its all about the child(ren).

Also, I wouldn't discuss the personal nature of any child with any other parent because it is none of their business. Now, should any parent(s) ever come to me upset about such a situation, I would let them know that they have the choice to either suck it up or kick rocks with or without my help!

No one is going to bring any such drama in to my home. I am a free spirit and believe in live and let live (as long as you are not hurting anyone).


Mrs B

[wonderfullisa]

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest.
While he's all traditional boy most of the time, my 2yo dcb loves dressing up with the girls in princess dresses. I keep meaning to check with him mom about painting his nail. I'm pretty sure his nails were painted when we first met, but I've avoided doing nails while he's here in case he asks.

[crazydaycarelady]

He would not be taking the hormones now, closer to when he goes into puberty

He is not living as a girl yet (probably to young to make that call really) just a boy who really really likes girl stuff and whose parents get him what he wants.

How would I lose business? Come on now - do you seriously think that none of the other families is going to question this? We've come a long way but I have pretty traditional families who are probably not going to want to explain the dynamics of this situation to their 3-5 year old children.

[KidGrind]

Why would you lose other families? Why would your business suffer? I'm afraid I don't follow your logic at all.

Yes of course I would take a gender non-conforming child. it's not my business. It's not the other daycare families' business. it's solely the business of the child and his parents. And mostly the child.

And if he dresses like a girl and plays like a girl and for all intents and purposes while in your care is going to BE a girl, then why should anyone besides you, she, and her parents know what is or isn't between her legs?

happyface You save me some typing!

[Familycare71]

He would not be taking the hormones now, closer to when he goes into puberty

He is not living as a girl yet (probably to young to make that call really) just a boy who really really likes girl stuff and whose parents get him what he wants.

How would I lose business? Come on now - do you seriously think that none of the other families is going to question this? We've come a long way but I have pretty traditional families who are probably not going to want to explain the dynamics of this situation to their 3-5 year old children.

Yes I would-
Honestly I have one family who's dad would probably pull over it- I would still do it. It would be my honor to support and love this little guy through some confusing stuff and help him to know- girl, boy, whatever- he is loved and worthy!
As far as discussing with other families I wouldn't but if he is obviously a boy dressed in girls clothes and still referred to as a boy they would notice. But they would have to muster up the guts to bring it to me because I wouldn't bring it up to them!