You Tell Me--Is My Son A Baby Genius?

[preschoolteacher]

So many helpful responses

I've been pouring over this thread. Thanks for all of the comments. So many of you have really interesting stories about working with gifted kids, and it makes me feel really inspired to keep looking into homeschooling.

I love the advice about teaching wide and deep. I really agree with that, philosophically. My interest is in project-based homeschooling based on the child's passion and interests and a living books method (instead of text books) to teach history, social studies, and so on.

My engineer husband is on board with the idea of homeschooling, but he worries about math and science-- specifically, how will our son will learn them? Clearly these topics are really important to him (they are his passions and interests!). I am not a math person and absolutely could not teach it beyond early elementary school. As for science, my skill set is nature-based, but don't get me started on chemistry, etc.

How do you all handle math and science? I like the idea of a tutor once the child is a little older. I've read lots of things that say you don't need to learn algebra, chemistry and so on... but for my husband, that wouldn't fly. He really DID need to learn algebra to get him to where he is today in his career, and I think if we didn't teach traditional math concepts to our son he would worry that we were not properly preparing him.

[MotherNature]

With my gifted daughter, I knew all along that she was much brighter than average. Last summer as she was working on learning to read, all directed by her, at age 4.5 (not uber early of course but I had never pushed it) I gradually became aware that my choices were: Get her tested into kindergarten a year early, or homeschool her. She wasn't "supposed" to do kindy until this year, but I knew last summer that she was already ahead of the game and waiting would be MORe than detrimental.

So we got her tested. She passed with flying colors (scored a 125, only needed a 115 to pass, and I think on that test the genius threshold is 135) and started kindergarten. She seemed to love it, but looking back she was bored from day one. Everything was SO easy. She did make the jump from sounding out to READING but I'm not sure if she was just ready to make that jump or if the school helped. She never struggled with a single assignment she brought home, never struggled with a single "Guided reading" book.

I spoke with other parents of academically advanced kids and they all said the same thing: this school does NOT have the resources to meet the needs of the gifted kids. They pull from a low-SES area with lots of ELL kids and just don't have the time to dedicate to the kids that are far ahead of the rest of the class. and since she was already technically skipped a grade, they would be hesitant to send her to other classrooms for various subjects.

Because of the school's performance we are allowed to open enroll her anywhere in the district...but we have to provide transportation and are incapable of doing that (hello, daycare!) so I made the decision to homeschool.

And it took most of the summer...but the bright, shining girl she was before kindy came back. Her anxiety mostly melted away. The behavior issues abated. She made leaps and bounds of progress and started to speak with the more advanced sentance structure that had faded during the year. Looking back, she wasn't happy in public school. She couldn't relate to anyone in her class on an intellectual level, and they had very different life experiences than her. She was bullied repeatedly last year by various kids and each time, I brought my concerns to the school and they worked with me and helped to stop it but no sooner did we stop one then more were starting. She just attracted them like i did...largely for being unable to hide how smart she is.

I'm not saying homeschooling is the only answer because it certainly isn't! I guess i'm trying to warn you (or anyone) about choosing the RIGHT school.

This is ringing some bells for me. I tested as gifted in the 1st grade & was extremely bored in school. I got bullied by peers & targeted by teachers when I corrected them. My kids are very bright as well. They didn't necessarily do well in standard schools. My eldest graduated from a charter school & took many college courses while there, & is now a freshman majoring in comp. programming, & my middle child got accepted to a residential high school for gifted kids & loves the challenge and being around other kids who were also the brightest in their school, and bored.

[Michael]

I have a question that is slightly OT and may seem mean, but I truly don't mean it that way. So many parents nowadays claim to have a "gifted" child or a specially talented child. Yes, there are lots of gifted kids but not every child can be gifted or have a truly exceptional talent or then the word "gifted" would be meaningless. I know all parents think their child is special (as they should) but it isn't appropriate for them to throw around the word "gifted." I have interviewed parents of infants who have said, "Well, our baby is gifted so how will you support that in your program?" I look at the child and he is a six month old asleep with his blanky - a "regular" baby! Ummmmm....

Parents these days seem to think that their child has to be exceptional and that having a typical, happy, healthy child is not ok. It is ok! In fact we should be celebrating that! Being gifted and talented is awesome but so is being a regular kid! How do you tell parents: Hey your kid is great! He is smart and funny and is great at some things....but he's not gifted?

That is why testing is so important. Here is LA county these are professionals that will adequately diagnose the gifted: http://www.mirman.org/admissions/tester-referrals

Being average/normal is also a gift. Normal always fits in. On the other hand, a gifted child will most likely be looked at as handicapped by our system. They don't fit in. It is we, the parents, that have to be the advocate or cheerleader for these children. They normally do not get the care they often need. They are special needs children. If it is diagnosed early, it can be a huge benefit to one's future possibilities. It if is not, these children will dummy down to fit in.

I started another thread where we can talk about all children called; Tell Us About YOUR Children: https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=65315

[melskids]

here is a link to an excellent blog. she talks mostly of childcare, but has gifted children of her own and worked with gifted children much of her career. http://auntannieschildcare.blogspot.com/ I have contacted her before, and she usually responds right away.

[Michael]

My engineer husband is on board with the idea of homeschooling, but he worries about math and science-- specifically, how will our son will learn them? Clearly these topics are really important to him (they are his passions and interests!). I am not a math person and absolutely could not teach it beyond early elementary school. As for science, my skill set is nature-based, but don't get me started on chemistry, etc.

How do you all handle math and science? I like the idea of a tutor once the child is a little older. I've read lots of things that say you don't need to learn algebra, chemistry and so on... but for my husband, that wouldn't fly. He really DID need to learn algebra to get him to where he is today in his career, and I think if we didn't teach traditional math concepts to our son he would worry that we were not properly preparing him.

I think you are worrying too much at this stage. In time your child will give you a better idea of his interests. I suggest online courses. Let your child decide. Our son chose a programming course from Australia when he was very young. You have the whole world to help you. The difference is YOU get to decide what is best. You son will help you as long as you help him to mentally grow.

On another note, over time you may find your child is emotionally stunted. Gifted children know more at too young an age and don't have the capacity to understand how to manage it emotionally. They should be more blissful when that young. Be aware of his fears. My wife had an ectopic surgery when Jonathan was only four. He knew exactly what it was and was telling all of our friends about it. I thought, should a child his age be worrying about something like that? My point; give him lots of security. Let him know mom and dad are taking care of everything. Constant reinforcement for his emotionally needs will set the basis for better learning.

[SunnyDay]

I think it's important to remember the multiple intelligences theory. My first born (girl) was/is your typical over-achiever first born in terms of verbal intelligence. We homeschool, but never thought she was gifted on the level to require testing or anything. We just fed her what she needs. She's always had a brilliant mind for language and literature, and later we discovered her natural disposition for music. But math and logical thinking? Nope, not her thing.

One of my other kiddos would be the boy in school driving the teachers crazy and sending him for medication to calm him down. He's not a "gifted" student...struggles with age appropriate spelling and writing, for example. But his mind is incredibly gifted/inclined toward spatial skills. Building things and taking things apart and knowing how they work and such.

Anyway, I just wanted to add that yes, some kids are clearly academically gifted and benefit from specialized courses of instruction. However, with enough time and space to grow and explore (yes, that's my shameless plug for homeschooling) observant and involved parents will likely see some area of giftedness manifest in their child. Just remember that it might not be what is typically tested for. It could be musical or interpersonal or ???

So true!! lovethis