Parental Double Standards

[Cat Herder]

So... I was called to the mat by a DCM. ( The sweetest woman you have ever met) She was mostly joking as we laugh a lot here. She was 100% correct, though.

I **am** guilty of enforcing my policies with a double standard. I did it. It is true. I will most likely do it again.... but I will try harder to recognize it in myself.

Example:

If DCM shows up 10 minutes early to drop-off (no notice), I charge her $10 or a coffee and doughnut the next morning (my version of a get out of jail card).

If DCD shows up 10 minutes early to drop-off (no notice), I often let him slide depending on how frazzled he looks and how desperate DCK seems to get into the playroom .

Am I really the only one, though???? :confused: Do you catch yourself giving the guys a break??

NOTE: I am older, so seeing the guys actively parent is still a pretty new concept (and adored lovethis ) to me. Luckily the Moms are not too offended, after all, they love the guys as well.

[Play Care]

I'm the opposite! I have one single dad who I like, he's a good dad and a good client but he also has a "user" personality. The more you give, the more he would take. So I give *nothing*

[nanglgrl]

Guilty, I've had 2 single dads. One raising a girl and another a boy, since birth and all on their own. They both worked and went to school. I cut them a lot more breaks than I've ever cut a single mother BUT neither of them ever took advantage and were always appreciative.

[Blackcat31]

YES. I am guilty too.

I think because we tend to think men aren't capable but we KNOW they are.

Unfortunately the space between my thinking and my knowing is rather large.

I solemnly swear to be more conscious about this from this day forward.

[Cat Herder]

I'm the opposite! I have one single dad who I like, he's a good dad and a good client but he also has a "user" personality. The more you give, the more he would take. So I give *nothing*

Ugh, yeah, that would be a whole different story.

My DCD's are all just generally *likable* guys. I feel protective over them like my own sons. The DCM's can all "hold their own" (it's a southern thing ) and are awesome clients..

[JoseyJo]

So... I was called to the mat by a DCM. ( The sweetest woman you have ever met) She was mostly joking as we laugh a lot here. She was 100% correct, though.

I **am** guilty of enforcing my policies with a double standard. I did it. It is true. I will most likely do it again.... but I will try harder to recognize it in myself.

Example:

If DCM shows up 10 minutes early to drop-off (no notice), I charge her $10 or a coffee and doughnut the next morning (my version of a get out of jail card).

If DCD shows up 10 minutes early to drop-off (no notice), I often let him slide depending on how frazzled he looks and how desperate DCK seems to get into the playroom .

Am I really the only one, though???? :confused: Do you catch yourself giving the guys a break??

NOTE: I am older, so seeing the guys actively parent is still a pretty new concept (and adored lovethis ) to me. Luckily the Moms are not too offended, after all, they love the guys as well.

I haven't ever charged a late/early fee but I do find that I give the DCD's a break a lot more. I actually appreciate that they don't talk so much at d/o p/u so it takes less of my time and I use that as a mental excuse for giving them a break on appropriate clothing, cleanliness of children, feeding them before they come etc ::

[Cat Herder]

YES. I am guilty too.

I think because we tend to think men aren't capable but we KNOW they are.

Unfortunately the space between my thinking and my knowing is rather large.

I solemnly swear to be more conscious about this from this day forward.

:::::: It is hard when you are looking into the face of a grown man and see the 3 year old child he was begging for help...

[littlemissmuffet]

I guess I'm mean. I don't give anyone a break ::

[daycarediva]

I guess I'm mean. I don't give anyone a break ::

hahaha I am SOOOO glad you said this because I don't regularly, either. I DO on occasion when I know a dcp has a lot on their plate/mind, etc

(eg. dcm's Mom died and she was bringing dcg here so that she could make funeral arrangements, but had not paid for the drop in space yet, so I sent a text to remind her so that I wouldn't HAVE to turn them away at the door).

[Cat Herder]

I guess I'm mean. I don't give anyone a break ::

You are not mean... you are smart.

I guess I am getting soft.... all of my clients (but one) have been here for over 3 years. We ran out of stuff to "disagree" about years ago... I am losing my edge ::::

[MrsSteinel'sHouse]

I also tend to give guys a "break".

[mrsnj]

No. No breaks here either female vs male. I have done situations ( like I had a dcm who worked as a nurse n sometimes would show five min late if she got stuck with a client. I can see she is frantic getting here. I have another family who push buttons n I charge if they breath wrong) but not moms vs dads.

I however love the donuts payment. Lol. Wonder if I could get a few icecream sundaes that way too::

[MsLaura529]

I haven't had any issues come up with DCD's or DCM's even really ... I know they're coming though. However, I know one of my DCDs annoys me a ton, so he probably wouldn't get a break. Another one is in a profession that I would feel bad not giving a break to (and maybe having it be good karma in the future, if I were to ever get pulled over ) ... the other ones I don't really see.

Example:

If DCM shows up 10 minutes early to drop-off (no notice), I charge her $10 or a coffee and doughnut the next morning (my version of a get out of jail card).

I LOVE this! I wish my parents would drop off early sometime now so that I can pull this one out on them and end up with a coffee and a donut.

[WImom]

I don't do mom vs dad's either. But the parents I see trying hard or follow my rules I do give break's for. If it became more than occasional I would stop giving a break though.

[butterfly]

I haven't ever charged a late/early fee but I do find that I give the DCD's a break a lot more. I actually appreciate that they don't talk so much at d/o p/u so it takes less of my time and I use that as a mental excuse for giving them a break on appropriate clothing, cleanliness of children, feeding them before they come etc ::

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