Does Anyone Work With Their SO?

[coolconfidentme]

How is working with your significant other or spouse working for you? We are discussing it & I would like to know the pros & cons of it all. My daycare is 1st, 2nd & 3rd shift. He has all the requirements to work here & helps me out when he gets off work. We are thinking about doing it full time together in lieu of unreliable workers. We will keep 1 a PT person.

Any advice? Anyone?

[Meeko]

I started home daycare while my husband was in the Air Force. When we got out of the military, he took a job that paid the bills and then some, but not particularly fulfilling.

He became sick and ended up on leave for about 6 weeks while he recovered. He loved being home and found he really enjoyed the daycare kids and being home with his own kids. So when it came time to go back to work, he was reluctant.

I jokingly said "You could quit and we could expand the daycare to large group!"

He said "Do you think we could?" and started to crunch numbers.

The rest is history. Our son became my main helper for a while and we did care in our second home and my husband was stay-at-home dad for our two teenage daughters. I am forever grateful for that, because they have the BEST relationship with him.

We sold our daycare home and moved the business to our basement at our home. So we are now all together again.

For us...it works. We are a very close family and so working together isn't a problem at all. In fact we see it as a blessing.

But I have friends who tell me that even though they adore their husbands...they could never work together because of differences etc.

You need to take a really GOOD look at your particular set-up and be honest about being in each others pockets 24/7. If that's something workable, then go for it.

If you have different ideas on running things, if little things get on your nerves...then seriously consider against it.

We love being self-employed. Even if we lose a few kids, our income remains fairly steady. My husband loves not having to worry about being laid off like many of his friends seem to stress over constantly.

We're not rich, but we are comfortable enough.

So pro's and cons. Take a long hard look at your situation and your relationship. Even a great marriage can be strained by stress. You never leave "work" unless you plan it.

Let us know what you decide!!!

[butterfly]

My husband is my sub only. He doesn't get the fullfillment out of it that I do. He loves the kids, but does not desire to do it every. single. day.

[Blackcat31]

My DH comes in and helps with lunch and nap time every day. He also assists for field trips when we go on one.

Sugar Magnolia works with her DH every day...she would be a great person to ask any questions about this...

[littlemissmuffet]

My hubs has always been my PT assistant, but he's been working with me full time since April because he's on parental leave for our daughter - and we both very much enjoy it. If his work didn't provide such amazing benefits (full medical, full dental, free life insurance, stock options, retirement plans, and many other perks) he would stay home full time forever.

Honestly, for us, there are no cons.

[crazydaycarelady]

There is no way! I don't think my husband would take it seriously. He would be mowing the lawn and working on projects while I took care of the kids.

[JoseyJo]

My hubby and I run our daycare together.

The pro? Spending all day together.
The con? Spending all day together! ::

We just have 1 shift (7a to 6p) but do a full preschool curriculum. We split the day up into sections where I am the lead, he is the lead, and overlap. We do overlap at all meals and cleanup. I do the morning before breakfast, Circle time, writing time, and arts and crafts. He does outside time, learning activity time and the afternoon after pm snack.

[daycare]

I also work with my husband who has the best of every intention to want to help, but sometimes makes things worse....He loves to cook for the kids, but then wants to cook at times when I need him to be watching the kids and not cooking....

We used to work side by side every day, but my husband took way too long to catch on and it frustrated me so I had to hire someone. I am fast pace everything and he just takes his sweet old time ALL the time.

I agree with the above post

pro spend all day together
con spend all day together

[JoseyJo]

I also work with my husband who has the best of every intention to want to help, but sometimes makes things worse....He loves to cook for the kids, but then wants to cook at times when I need him to be watching the kids and not cooking....

We used to work side by side every day, but my husband took way too long to catch on and it frustrated me so I had to hire someone. I am fast pace everything and he just takes his sweet old time ALL the time.

I agree with the above post

pro spend all day together
con spend all day together

I'm glad you posted- I was going to say more but "If you can't say something nice..."

I am a very fast paced, follow the rules type of person. Hubby is patient and calm (which ends up being slow paced), and thinks of rules as more like guidelines... We are opposite in most ways.

Personally, I feel like I do about 75% of the work- I am "in charge" 50% of the time, do most of the daycare cleaning, and more than my fair share of the household cleaning, plan/buy/cook all of the meals (including dinner and weekends for our own family), create all of the curriculum, handle all of the administration duties (taxes, food program, licensing), handle most of the parent interaction, etc etc etc.

BUT- I know I couldn't handle dealing w/ the kids by myself 11 hours a day. I NEED a break and an extra hand, especially with new little ones.

[daycare]

I'm glad you posted- I was going to say more but "If you can't say something nice..."

I am a very fast paced, follow the rules type of person. Hubby is patient and calm (which ends up being slow paced), and thinks of rules as more like guidelines... We are opposite in most ways.

Personally, I feel like I do about 75% of the work- I am "in charge" 50% of the time, do most of the daycare cleaning, and more than my fair share of the household cleaning, plan/buy/cook all of the meals (including dinner and weekends for our own family), create all of the curriculum, handle all of the administration duties (taxes, food program, licensing), handle most of the parent interaction, etc etc etc.

BUT- I know I couldn't handle dealing w/ the kids by myself 11 hours a day. I NEED a break and an extra hand, especially with new little ones.

I love him dearly, but I carry a lot on my shoulders too. BUT in his defense, I am a bit of a control freak when it comes to doing everything by the book so I would not be ok with delegating any paperwork for him to do. I would probably go back and either check it all or redo it.......

I do about 95% of all of the house hold stuff....sucks

[Lyss]

There is no way! I don't think my husband would take it seriously. He would be mowing the lawn and working on projects while I took care of the kids.

Ditto! :: Plus sometimes I think DH doesn't quite realize the little things. Like over the weekend it was cold/raining and DH took DD (20 months) shopping with no coat, in shorts and sandals then fed her spicy pickled carrots for lunch...

Not that I'd ever expect him to be "in charge" of the DCKs as I do when he is with DD but these facepalm moments make me thing I'd spend all day being annoyed rather than helped! ::

Occasionally when he is off work he helps out so I can take a quick break or something, but its about 10 minutes max and usually when the kids are outside (its great for me though!)

[Familycare71]

I lovethis my hubby!!
BUT... I don't even like when he is home on vacation and I'm working! ::
I KNOW it wouldn't work for us- so I have never even considered it

[Sunchimes]

I've worked with my husband 24/7 since 1980, with the exception of 2 years I taught school when our business was in trouble, and a few months here and there when he decided he wanted a wife at home to cook and clean. (Suited me just fine.)

These were daycare businesses, and I realize that's probably what your are asking about, but I'll share anyway.

We have had 3 businesses over the last 33 years. One has lasted 33 years (still operating), one lasted 17 years, and one lasted just a couple of years because we hated it. The one that has lasted 33 years is outdoors and very hard physical work. I did my share of the work plus all of the paperwork, cooking, cleaning, and laundry. We also had a small farm, and he did most of the farm work and tended the livestock.

Our last one closed in 2010 when we lost the contract to one of those megacorporations. We pretty much split the work almost down the middle. I always ended up doing more because I work faster than him. Seems to be a common thing-what is it with slowpoke men? Again, I handled all of the paperwork.

He has partly retired, so he only works 2-3 days a week. He doesn't work in the daycare, but he's around if I need him while I go potty, he always goes with us when we go to the library or park, sometimes he takes us all to McD's for ice cream and the playground. The kids love him and no one leaves at the end of the day without a detour into his room, aka the living room, to say goodbye.

We are both pretty laid back people, both hermits, and we would rather be with each other than anyone else. We learned long ago to say what we are thinking and not let it fester. We are both willing to give 100%, so if I need more help, or if I need something built or cleaned or done for daycare, I don't mind asking. If he needs me to do something for his business, he asks, and I do it. For instance, I'm off a few days this week (miracle!), so I went to work with him on Monday to help out. I think the secret is not to be too concerned about sticking to a pre-planned split of duties. You need to have that worked out but accept that it isn't always going to be a 50-50 split. Sometimes one does more, sometimes the other.

I don't recommend it for most people, but it has worked really well for us for over 30 years.

[mom2many]

Mine helps me and has ever since he went on early retirement 3 years ago. It has worked out well for us! He watches the younger dcks in the morning and afternoon, when I take the s/a to and from school.

I am licensed for 8, so I don't need to have him here except to help me with the transportation (my car only holds 6!) Most of the time other than that, he is off taking care of handyman side jobs, so we don't really work side by side too much.

[MCC]

My husband has been my full time assistant since April, when he went on medical leave from the Navy.

I only have 5 dcks, and don't "need" an assistant, but it is so nice having him here to help when I want an extra set of hands.

At first I thought I could never work with him, but it is actually nice. I love having someone to talk to without the need for professionalism that I would have to have with an actual assistant. (as in, our relationship is not strictly business)

I do all of the admin stuff, and interviewing, and scheduling, and menuing, etc, b/c honestly I know he wouldn't be able to handle it/keep it organized.