Do You State The Obvious?

[Happy Hearts]

I had an interview last week with a potential dcb and both his parents. We had a short phone interview prior and nothing was mentioned about his special needs.

They enter the daycare and the child is most obviously down syndrome. Do I say something? not say anything?

Since I probably will not take the child as his start time is way too early for me, I didn't say anything. But, they wanted to come over anyway in case she could change her shift to a later start time.

So I do a very limited interview and did not offer the paperwork package. I kept waiting for them to mention his health issues so that I could judge whether or not I am capable of caring for him. The whole interview, it was on the tip of my tongue to state the obvious.... but I didn't.

Now, the self talk starts..... do they think I'm a dummy and didn't notice so judge that I'm not able to care for him? do they think I noticed and am perfectly fine with it? Perhaps they didn't think my setup was not suitable? Maybe they're just as wary of me. Uggh.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

That is odd. Children with Downs do have different capabilities than other children their age and it would need to be addressed.

[countrymom]

they should have been up front about it.

[SilverSabre25]

Dang, that's a big thing that needs addressed. There's so much that can be different with a Down's child, everything from speech, to potty training, to heart problems (sometimes serious ones). I wonder why they didn't mention it.

I can't think of a good, tactful way to bring it up, though...

[Happy Hearts]

I can't think of a good, tactful way to bring it up, though...

That's it exactly!!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Dang, that's a big thing that needs addressed. There's so much that can be different with a Down's child, everything from speech, to potty training, to heart problems (sometimes serious ones). I wonder why they didn't mention it.

I can't think of a good, tactful way to bring it up, though...

Exactly. The child I watched had serious speech delays, serious gross and fine motor delays, serious potty training delays, heart problems, etc. etc. etc. Each child is so different, regardless of what they might have, so it would definitely need to be addressed.

[daycarediva]

"are there any developmental concerns I should be aware of?"

It's even on my interview checklist. I have a special needs child, I am the FIRST to mention it, seems odd to me that she didn't!

[safechner]

Maybe he don't have any capabilities that they might dont need to be addressed on that... Some ds children are perfect fine and normal that my friend's son have DS but he is a wonderful person and very smart boy. I don't see anything wrong with him just have DS.

You should have mention to them like, "Is there anything I should know about?" They might will be able to tell you.

Honestly, I hate some people are trying to be judging if they have special needs or whatever if they can capable them or not. If someone is trying to be judging on my daughter who has profoundly deaf and PDDNOS on autism spectrum then I would be pissed! I do believe no one judges on special needs children or adults that doesnt mean they are bad, if you know what I mean. Just saying...

[NeedaVaca]

Maybe he don't have any capabilities that they might dont need to be addressed on that... Some ds children are perfect fine and normal that my friend's son have DS but he is a wonderful person and very smart boy. I don't see anything wrong with him just have DS.

You should have mention to them like, "Is there anything I should know about?" They might will be able to tell you.

Honestly, I hate some people are trying to be judging if they have special needs or whatever if they can capable them or not. If someone is trying to be judging on my daughter who has profoundly deaf and PDDNOS on autism spectrum then I would be pissed! I do believe no one judges on special needs children or adults that doesnt mean they are bad, if you know what I mean. Just saying...

I don't think the OP is judging this child because of his special needs? Or even judging at all. :confused: It seems very odd to me that a family didn't mention this at all on the phone or during the entire interview. As providers we need to be completely aware of each situation and special need a child may have. It's just weird that it was never mentioned. I have a special needs child and WANT people that spend time with him to be aware of what is going on, it's in HIS best interest.

[blandino]

I had this exact parent. The child even went to a special needs preschool in the morning and then our daycare in the afternoon. DCM was an old coworker, and we had always known that DCG had Special needs. But never, even prior to DCG coming to daycare - and certainly when they signed her up - it was never ever mentioned. It was really bizarre.

DCG was very high functioning and her speech was her only significant delay. Mom did address that she signed some, but that was it.

[safechner]

I don't think the OP is judging this child because of his special needs? Or even judging at all. :confused: It seems very odd to me that a family didn't mention this at all on the phone or during the entire interview. As providers we need to be completely aware of each situation and special need a child may have. It's just weird that it was never mentioned. I have a special needs child and WANT people that spend time with him to be aware of what is going on, it's in HIS best interest.

I know but I am not saying about the OP. I am saying to some people are like that. For example, a few people tried to judge on me because I am deaf myself.. Oh well... They didn't know that I can speak very well. I don't care what other people think because I love my life, anyways! :-)

[Happy Hearts]

Honestly, I hate some people are trying to be judging if they have special needs or whatever if they can capable them or not. If someone is trying to be judging on my daughter who has profoundly deaf and PDDNOS on autism spectrum then I would be pissed! I do believe no one judges on special needs children or adults that doesnt mean they are bad, if you know what I mean. Just saying...

How could you possibly read my post and think I was judging the child?!?!

[TheGoodLife]

How could you possibly read my post and think I was judging the child?!?!

[TheGoodLife]

You don't sound judgmental- you are just wondering how a family could not bring up the topic of the special needs of their child! As a provider, you need to know what every child needs before you can responsibly begin care for the child!

[Starburst]

Well one of my teachers who is also the director of the school's state preschool program said that parents legally do not have to tell the center anything about the child's health that they are aware of if not asked directly (even HIV/AIDS- which I think is illegal to ask parents directly anyway) out of fear of being discriminated. I think health wise the only thing they can really ask is if their child has allergies or any chronic health conditions that they will need to give them medication for but I don't think they can ask direct questions and parent's legally do not have to say anything as long as the school doesn't have to administer medication because the family has a right to privacy and to not be discriminated against. I am not sure if the same rules apply for home daycare, but I honestly wouldn't take that chance without looking into it.

I'm pretty sure in most (if not all) states, unless you could prove that a child's special needs would lead to major financial complications/loss (such as having to hire an specially trained assistant or make major home renovations), you cannot properly accommodate for that child's needs (I don't think you could use no-experience as an excuse), or some how prove that the child's presents majorly impact your ability to care for other children (such as multiple melt downs or extremely disruptive/ violent behavior) you cannot reject them only on the terms of them having special needs (not saying that is what you are doing [your reason as of arrival time is legit] just a fact as part of ADA). Also according to the ADA you cannot charge a special needs family more than a non special needs family (in some cases it may be different if you have to hire a special assistant or aid to accommodate only that child)- not saying you were planning to just a fact. You may also want to check with your licensor to see what is and isn't okay when it comes to children with special needs and if your allowed to ask certain questions.

Personally I would just let it go. I think they didn't say anything because their child's SN status is obvious, so they figured it needed no explanation- not because they are trying to fool you or anything. They may have also been afraid to say anything specific about his condition out of fear of being discriminated/rejected for enrollment. And if you don't wind up taking their kid, you don't want them to think or tell others that it was because their child had Down Syndrome (may think it anyway but saying something out loud may make it seem true). You don't want to open yourself up to that can of worms.